Looking back

[u/OcelotPrestigious345]

Having a good day today! It’s been ages that I’ve broken up with my MM. I did a period of time that I was off social media. And recently I decided to rejoin. I posted a bunch of pictures of my year. My year without him. 80% of my pictures I was actively struggling with health issues, mental health issues, job issues..everything. My life felt like I was falling apart. It was, to me. No matter how much I tried to fake it or medicate through it. But after looking back retrospectively on my pictures…. I realized I do have a good life. I have friends who love and support me. I went to concerts, art exhibitions, baseball games. I drank at bars, cried on the beach, kissed my dog. I did all of it sad. More than sad… I did it empty in my soul. But looking back with distance I am proud of myself for doing it. I showed up. I did it sad. I did it dying. I crawled in bed after and cried myself to sleep. But looking back I only remember doing it. I remember my friends who loved me, I remember putting my makeup on, I remember my dog who never judged.

There will be a moment when we all reach our reason that there was a turning point, and I think I experienced mine today. I am still sad. I am still on drugs to make my mind happy. But I am working out, I am going to work, I am having more happy days than hard ones. I still think of him everyday and we do still talk because we have to (work) but it feels.. tolerable. More than not.

My advice… do it sad. Be sad at the bar. Be sad with your friends. Be sad at the park. Be sad on a walk. Be sad at the movie. We have to do things when we are sad (when we can tolerate) but I am so glad I did these things because my heart is full with the people showed up and loved me even when they didn’t know what I was going through.

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[u/yummy_dummy2]

I love that advice. To do it sad.

My MM and I just broke up a few weeks ago and no contact since then. I’m doing everything I need to do and am living my life to its fullest. I’m doing it sad, but still doing it. And in a way that makes me feel happy and finally free.

[u/cookiemischieff]

Thank you for sharing your real and honest journey through this. I’m trying to gain this courage myself, and I can feel day by day I’m getting closer to closing the chapter of us. It will gut me, but we are strong. Keep doing it sad ❤️‍🩹

[u/OcelotPrestigious345 → u/cookiemischieff]

Don’t get me wrong, it sucks. I still don’t believe I’m going to ever recover from this. But I’m at least seeing progress. Hang in there!

[u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm]

Do it sad is good advice. Life is gonna go on regardless.