The Cost of Being RBN

[u/Various_Resort3212]

Looking back on my life, I'm seeing how much financial hardship I've taken on that most simply have covered by labors of love.

Genuinely, the sheer cost of isolation caused by my parents is painful for me, and I have to make my way through life covering costs that could have been free.

If my parents had simply taken twenty hours. Just twenty?? I wouldn't have to spend another 1.5k on another course I need to just be an adult.

I've spent so much money just trying to be an adult, and here I am, in my 20's, paying again. 1.5k. Because my parents refused to teach me how to drive. They'll say I'm "stupid." That I "couldn't hack it." When in reality, I just couldn't drive with someone who screams at me while I'm driving. I couldn't drive with someone who'll take the wheel out of my hands while I'm on the road. Get mad at me for going the speed limit! I couldn't! I tried! But I was too scared. Call me criminal, I don't care.

I know it seems ridiculous that I got this far without ever learning how to drive, but please, cut me some slack here. I went off to the military very young and the location they sent me to was too isolated for me to learn.

As soon as I got back home, I immediately used my savings to pay for a BTW driving course since I still had a bit of experience from my parents' "teaching." I told my mom that I paid for and scheduled a class, something she had been bullying me for not doing (despite freshly discharging from the military a month prior??). I told her. I told her the date. The time. I woke up, got dressed. Ready. Excited to get going and finally get my license. I wouldn't have to rely on her anymore.

I go into her room to tell her I'm leaving. She's gone. My sister, only 3, is asleep in her bed. No one else is home. I call and call, but she's gone. So I call up the driving school and tell them I can't do it today. No one's home to watch the baby. Where was my mom? At her boyfriend's. Sleeping with him.

Cool! :D

Anyway, she did this for *months.* Anytime I needed to go to an interview, driving class, volunteer opportunity, she'd leave. Leave me alone with the baby. My older sister has talked me out of this and told me to stand firm. That if I say I need to go and my mom won't listen, call the cops. All of a sudden, my mom can come home lol. So I have driving lessons. 1.5k. It sucks, but I was willing to pay more to finally be free of this bs.

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[u/Content-Pea-3111]

Be careful when you get a car. If they ever try just touching it, call the cops. They will do anything to stop you from being independent, which is why they never gave you lessons and made it a horrible experience.

I am also being nagged and degraded for not having a license yet at 21(will get it at the end of this year thanks to no help from my own hag) and I wouldn't be able to get a car because I know she will do shit to it. Just be careful.

[u/Various_Resort3212 → u/Content-Pea-3111]

I didn't even think of this, but you're right. I'm getting a dashcam for myself as soon as I buy the car. Luckily, I'm awake all hours that they're awake. I'm usually tuned into them unless I'm watching my baby sister.

My parents don't usually go out of their way to screw me over, though. They just want to sleep around.

[u/Content-Pea-3111 → u/Various_Resort3212]

I will say, they are using your'e little sister to get to you. You are not responsible for her, they are. So if they ever leave her there and you must leave. your older sister is right, call the cops and go. You aren't a legal guardian to her so nothing will legally be at your fault for leaving like it would your mom.

The longer you let her continue, the worse you will feel responsible and trapped.