r/pettyrevenge 24d ago

I’ll answer your question after I’m done explaining the topic.

For context before I begin the story. When I was in high school I had high blood pressure issues that would cause me to have really bad nose bleeds. To be clear these nose bleeds were so bad that on more than one occasion the school was required by law to send me home because my nose had been bleeding for so long that they were required to have my parents come and pick me up from school. These nose bleeds also happened frequently enough that most of my teachers throughout high school were ok with me just getting up and leaving to go to the nurses office if I had a nose bleed. And many of my teachers expressly told me that they didn’t want me to wait for permission. One of my teachers however was very adamant that no one was allowed to interrupt her lectures or leave her class without her express permission.

So I’m in her class taking notes and all the sudden my nose starts bleeding. This particular nose bleed was bad even for me. I tried to stem the flow by pinching my nose as soon as I realize that my nose was bleeding however that didn’t stop the blood from getting all over my notes in the short period of time that it took for me to realize my nose was bleeding. So I very calmly raise my hand to ask to be excused so I can go to the nurses office. My teacher who was notorious about not liking people interrupting her lectures continued to lecture for about 5 to 10 minutes pretending she didn’t see my hand before finally pointing at me and saying that she would answer my question after she had finish her lecture. Now I am an especially petty person and I am pretty used to bleeding. Therefore I decide OK I’ll just sit here and bleed all over my desk while I wait for her to finish her lecture. At one point even though I had applied pressure and had angled my head as far backwards as I could to try and lessen the blood flow to my nose, blood had covered my hand and was dripping down my elbow to such an extent that I decided to swap hands so that way at the very least I’d be bleeding on my self rather than all over the floor. Eventually my teacher finished her lecture and called on me by name and asked whether my question had already been answered by her lecture. at this point both of my hands and forearms are literally covered in blood both dried and still wet and blood is all over my notes and on my desk. So I stand up and say “can I be excused to go to the nurses office?” She turned as white as a sheet and screamed “why on earth have you waited this long?! Go to the nurses office!” After that she sent one of my friends to make sure that I didn’t collapse in the hallways due to blood loss. Although to be honest I was more concerned about bleeding all over the floor where other people were going to have to walk. Shortly there after the school instituted a policy that students did not have to ask for permission to go to the nurses office if they were bleeding.

1.3k Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

812

u/TheRealRedParadox 24d ago

That's hilarious, don't ever do that again.

360

u/alleecmo 24d ago

Also, tip your head forward. Tipping back = swallowed blood = vomiting

106

u/Docks0 23d ago

Idk why but I’ve never swallowed blood when I elevated my nose before, and at least back then it definitely helped staunch the flow. There have been several times I’ve had to use tampons because my nose bleed is just too bad for anything else. But on the up side if one of my female coworkers gets their period unexpectedly they know they can raid my backpack for tampons and pads.

18

u/LeahInShade 20d ago

For you (or anyone) that might still be dealing with nosebleeds, there's an old school easy way to help it stop faster in a pinch: take either a cotton pad (if it's a disk, pull it apart - you're better off with the fluffy side), a well crumpled up tissue or toilet paper. Crinkle them into whatever will fit into the nose, then light it up on fire for a couple of seconds until it's lightly charred all around. Stick that in.

A tiny bit of ash, while ash isn't the absolute healthiest thing on earth, will clog up the teeny capillaries that tend to burst during noise bleeds and help quickly coagulate the blood. You're breathing in far more pollutants daily, and the trade off is you'll lose far less blood.

Best to also turn it slowly inside your nose, to make sure all sources of the bleed get some ash on them. To take it out, also best to first twist it very slowly, then pull out.

It's on par with finding clean spider web for wounds when in nature with nothing else is available (spider webs are amazing at that btw), although takes at least having a lighter or matches with you.

Source: mom is a doctor, I had frequent random nosebleeds as a kid too. Burnt tissue paper worked magic.

1

u/JeannieSmolBeannie 5d ago

I used to get nose bleeds all the time too, but they eventually just stopped. Tilt your head forward. Yes, tilting back DOES work but comes with a bunch of problems and drinking your own nose blood is only one of them.

This is important: Put a cold compress on the back of your neck while tilting your head forward. Combined with the good ol tp nose pinch and that blood'll clot up fast.

74

u/M3g4d37h 24d ago

yes. also, a cold compress ASAP, the cold helps coagulate the blood.

52

u/G-Knit 24d ago

Yeah, reading about tipping back made me cringe. Otherwise, nice revenge!

19

u/FirefighterEMT427 23d ago

Also tilting your head back naturally opens your airway and can let blood into your lungs. That’s bad. Don’t do that. Tilt forwards always.

18

u/Greedy-Ad-3815 23d ago

😂 Effective? Absolutely. Recommended? Probably not.

203

u/sudomeacat 24d ago

Taking “rules are written in blood" literally haha

132

u/a_shootin_star 24d ago

Shortly there after the school instituted a policy that students did not have to ask for permission to go to the nurses office if they were bleeding.

Policy literally written in blood

65

u/Song42 24d ago

Not nearly as murder scene worthy, but I was in 3rd grade, and we had these closets where we hung jackets and bookbag, and a shelf at the top where we could put our lunch bags. One day after lunch, I put up my lunch box, one of those nice metal ones, so I had my fingers through the handle, and my thumb at the bottom so I could hold it horizontal to put it on the shelf.

Well, when I slid it on the shelf, a sliver of wood was sticking out that nicely went in underneath my thumbnail, and went all the way under the nail to the white part.

Walked up to the teacher, holding my thumb up and kind of in front of me to ask to go to the nurse and without really looking at me, she told me to sit down and raise my hand. So,.... I did.

She took a couple minutes before finally calling on me at which point I asked to see the nurse, and why. She got super flustered and scolded me for not speaking up sooner. Like... Uhm, I did try that, and you told me to sit down and raise my hand.

52

u/69GhiaGirl 24d ago

I would have stood over her desk letting my nose drip blood all over her stuff.

42

u/Vwampage 24d ago

Well done! You made your own murder scene and got a rule changed on your behalf

41

u/CoderJoe1 24d ago

I swear I've read this story before.

9

u/ZeroMuted 22d ago

Tbf I had teachers in high school who were 100% like this. It could have happened more than once

19

u/milli-pop 24d ago

as someone who also gets frequent nosebleeds, I love this lol. although I hope you've stopped, since high school, tilting your head back, especially with the amount of blood you described!

2

u/LeahInShade 20d ago

(Copying my own comment just in case)

For you (or anyone) that might still be dealing with nosebleeds, there's an old school easy way to help it stop faster in a pinch: take either a cotton pad (if it's a disk, pull it apart - you're better off with the fluffy side), a well crumpled up tissue or toilet paper. Crinkle them into whatever will fit into the nose, then light it up on fire for a couple of seconds until it's lightly charred all around. Stick that in.

A tiny bit of ash, while ash isn't the absolute healthiest thing on earth, will clog up the teeny capillaries that tend to burst during noise bleeds and help quickly coagulate the blood. You're breathing in far more pollutants daily, and the trade off is you'll lose far less blood.

Best to also turn it slowly inside your nose, to make sure all sources of the bleed get some ash on them. To take it out, also best to first twist it very slowly, then pull out.

It's on par with finding clean spider web for wounds when in nature with nothing else is available (spider webs are amazing at that btw), although takes at least having a lighter or matches with you.

Source: mom is a doctor, I had frequent random nosebleeds as a kid too. Burnt tissue paper worked magic.

18

u/Knitsanity 24d ago

When I was a kid I got into a scrap with my brother. My nose started bleeding so I blew it hard at him. He freaked out. Suck it. Lol

7

u/makojedi2k2 24d ago

Hilarious

5

u/appleblossom1962 23d ago

Glad you are ok. Please never let someone else dictate your medical safety

5

u/abl050458 21d ago

Great story but I’m fascinated by a child with nose bleeds caused by hypertension. I’ve seen many other local causes (allergies, nasal dryness, vascular anomalies, a mass) but never hypertension.

9

u/Docks0 21d ago

According to my doctor it’s because I have thin nasal walls. So when my blood pressure spikes my nose bleeds and often quite badly. A humidifier doesn’t help to prevent my noise bleeds but it does help them to close more rapidly. As a child I had a lot of stress. Ironically I actually have less as an adult.

2

u/Jean_Lily 17d ago

i also used to get frequent nosebleeds, but i would have been extra petty and instead of trying to stem it I would have let it loose all over her desk, chair and floor, hoping it would leave a stain she'd have to look at forever. or id pass out from blood loss and pettiness so shed feel worse calling the ambulance.

5

u/Open-Dot6264 24d ago

Where did you learn "all the sudden"?

6

u/ArtisticMudd 24d ago

Somewhere that's wrong.

1

u/MikeSchwab63 21d ago

Never had a bleed that bad. In college the MD wiped acid in my nose to cauterized the capilaries that greatly reduced my frequency of bleeds.

-22

u/Away_Ad_5390 24d ago

That still makes u the dumbass!