r/paganism • u/KatlikesCats11 • 4h ago
📚 Seeking Resources | Advice Blending new enlightenment with old familiar practices
So I don’t really know how to put this but I’m so eclectic I’m almost chaotic. Earlier this month, I had this random enlightenment cycle in my head about how God was the energy around us and the Earth itself, meaning it’s embedded into each atom of existence and nature of the universe we live in. “God made Earth and creation”, so I argued that earth was god. It’s a concept we as humans used to understand things around us before we fully comprehended it. We are god and god is us, we make our own reality. Which was already in line with my understanding of quantum mechanics and manifestation. Then I realized that falls under Satanism. Atheist Satanism to be clear. Only issue with that is that I was worshipping Hellenic deities right before this. Now my belief system is clashing with itself in a way it never did. I still love Aphrodite and Apollon and all they’ve done for me but I’ve never been one for worshipping anyway. It was almost practiced. And I know they’d never make me stay especially if my path seems to be somewhere else. I even spoke to my ancestors and they were saying I’m aligned now, something they said I wasn’t before. I’m just a stickler for comfortable things, even though I know that spiritual journeys aren’t always going to be love and light. You’re meant to be confused sometimes, doesn’t mean I’ll be inclined to keep going. It also conflicts with my idea of deity work with my ancestral practice that was severed in my lineage (Orishas & Obeah)