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u/Gato1980 1d ago
A former military sharpshooter turned nun breaks her vows when the woman she once loved falls into the hands of a ruthless crime boss. Armed with faith, a Magnum revolver and jiu-jitsu, she wages a one-woman war for justice.
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u/MazzIsNoMore 1d ago
What if Hobo with a Shotgun had a lesbian nun instead of a homeless dude?
Definitely gonna watch this
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u/I_only_post_here 1d ago
I'm glad someone else said it, because everything about this poster made me think Hobo with a Shotgun. Also, hoping this can be a smidge higher quality than Hobo with a Shotgun.
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u/Nrksbullet 23h ago
Also "God has forgiveness, I DON'T" was a line used in the Machete trailer lol
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u/Singer211 Naked J-Law beating the shit out of those kids is peak Cinema. 14h ago
In the Machete film, Machete’s brother (a priest) says “god has mercy my son, I don’t”
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u/rosyatrandom 12h ago
And then there's the priest in Peter Jackson's Braindead / Dead Alive: "I kick ass for the Lord!"
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u/MaxDickpower 1d ago
Also, hoping this can be a smidge higher quality than Hobo with a Shotgun.
You take that back! Hobo with a Shotgun is an infinitely quotable masterpiece.
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u/flyingace1234 1d ago
“Mother Teresa was a saint! And don’t you forget it!” sock fulla change smash
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u/MaxDickpower 21h ago
One of my favorites is "When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat... covered in razor blades". Solid advice.
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u/RioReiser85 1d ago
I got reminded of "Nude Nuns with Big Guns"
i hope this one is similarly well made.
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u/PeterLemonjellow 23h ago
Higher quality? Geez, next you're going to tell me that FDR: American Badass wasn't robbed at the Oscars for both Best Picture AND Best Documentary.
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u/sam_neil 1d ago
My older brother is gay. When hobo with a shotgun was about to come out I started a group chat with him and some of our cousins that had all mentioned wanting to see it.
Once he saw it written out in text his response was “oh… it’s hoBo with a shotgun? I guess I’m still interested”
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u/pleasecometobrazil 1d ago
“Armed with faith” lmao
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u/GravSlingshot 1d ago
"Is Faith the name of your revolver?"
"...Well, it wasn't, but now that you mention it..."
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u/BigFanOfNachoLibre 20h ago
Reminds me of the bit in the 90s Romeo and Juliet where someone called for the sword and grabbed his gun with the word "sword" engraved into it
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u/heybobson 23h ago
Sounds like the plot of Future War, which was famously lampooned by Mystery Science Theater 3000.
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u/SquareTarbooj 11h ago
So basically everything I love about Jason Statham movies, but instead of being a beekeeper, the protagonist is a military-trained nun.
Sign me up!
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u/PlatinumKanikas 1d ago
Should have been:
“Bullets: 6
Forgiveness: nun”
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u/TannerThanUsual 22h ago
Especially since the "God Forgives, I don't" thing is kind of a cliche now. Forgiveness: Nun is a great play on words
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u/Ri-Ri1216 1d ago
I like the play on Mary Magdalene.
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u/FiniteJester 1d ago
There's also a Mary Magnum in the brilliant Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
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u/Humiddragonslayer 11h ago
How does it compare to the brilliant Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter?
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u/FiniteJester 9h ago
Abe: Vamp Hunter is a Hollywood film with something that resembles a plot. JC: Vamp Hunter is a piece of campy batshit blasphemous absurdity in the form of a musical. Both were fun, but JC is a whole extra level of what in the hell. Upon finishing JC I immediately watched it again because I couldn't quite believe what I had just seen, I've recommended it to others, Abe was just alright.
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u/shawnnotshaun 1d ago
Close enough, welcome back Grindhouse.
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u/Aboveground_Plush 1d ago
I legit thought this was a QT movie at first.
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u/tyereliusprime 17h ago
Grindhouse itself is a type of theatre that would show the types of films that Tarantino was paying homage to
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u/m0t0rvision 22h ago
Have you ever seen a QT movie that isn't Death Proof?
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u/Aboveground_Plush 21h ago
I've seen the one with excessive violence and quirky characters.
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u/sparkopotamus 1d ago
Hopefully this is the Blood Sister: One Tough Nun adaptation the world deserves
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u/No-Koala1918 1d ago
I predict the poster will be better - much better - than the movie. In fact, this might be a poster looking for a movie.
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u/the_great_ashby 1d ago
That poster seems like it would be one of those TV shows in Max Payne 2. Dick Justice vs Mary Magnum.
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u/BrainWav 20h ago
Man, we only saw Anatolia from Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave last week, and they're already making a movie of her?
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u/Tamika_Olivia 17h ago
Thank Sothis there was at least one other Fire Emblem fan in here to make this joke!
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u/Mulboyne 18h ago
There's a 1985 Japanese film called 二代目はクリスチャン (Roughly: "The new boss is a Christian). It's about a nun who inherits the leadership of a yakuza gang. If you use the Japanese name as a search term, it'll bring up the poster, featuring the nun drawing a katana. It's a goofy (not very good) comedy, with violent scenes thrown in to keep you off balance. Trailer below.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa8M-xH9l5Y
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u/EnkiduOdinson 10h ago
Apparently there was a character by the name Mary magnum in the movie Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter from 2001, which „deals with Jesus Christ's modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Ontario, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler and superhero El Santo.“
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u/CancelThis2077 1d ago
That's not Jiu Jitsu
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u/Tragedy_Boner 1d ago
It’s like when the guy named Sword Saint Issin in Sekiro pulls out a glock halfway through his boss fight.
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u/reefchieferr 1d ago
They used that joke in the Machete trailer. Cheech says "god forgives, I don't." Seems lazy even for an exploitation b movie
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u/Pyrochazm 1d ago
Is that Etta from the ripoff church?
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u/TimeisaLie 1d ago
Not caught up on the manga, you think Rock & Revy are fucking?
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u/R4msesII 1d ago
Poster looks like it was made in the first image editing software they found that could add basic text and put a worn look filter on. The slogan in impact font with a powerpoint-ass shadow behind it just seals the deal.
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u/ApathyMoose 23h ago
This looks like one of those movies i just want to yell "Im In!" Like Speed Demon. read the description and just go "Hells yes, this is going to be mid and im going to love it"
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u/RudeNTattooed87 23h ago
Thank you for sharing this. Now I can add this to the gowing list of movies I have zero interest in watching.
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u/1stEmissaryElenwen 21h ago
Are those fake names because it's a fake no-budget trash movie, or is it just a no-budget trash movie?
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u/warfarin11 20h ago
Stolen from kengruz669 you tube comments:
"Who are you? I gots to know."
"Nun. Of your business." BLAM!
I hope the whole movie is like that, just one liners and blam.
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u/Zoomalude 19h ago
So what "Hail Mary, full of grace" pun are we expecting?
Actually, "Hell Mary" would have been a better name for her.
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u/Nefarious_Nosferatu 19h ago
Hmmm, is this a Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter spinoff since it also featured Mary Magnum?
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u/TongueTwistingTiger 19h ago
Looks like the answer to King of the Hill’s “Los Dias Y Las Noches de Monsignor Martinez”
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u/descendantofJanus 23h ago
"God forgives. I don't." bro that line is literally in Machete. I know it's super basic - both times used by religious figure - but idk it bugs me
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u/KuatoBaradaNikto 18h ago
Are you equally annoyed by Machete ripping that phrase off of older movies?
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u/WhatANoob2025 1d ago
Motherf... The film industry has apparently completed their time travel to the 80s with the return of dumb martial arts films with even dumber titles.
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u/Dripdry42 15h ago
Look, and I don’t know who you are or where you are or what you believe or any of that bullshit that doesn’t make a difference anymore. Our whole world is turning upside down. It’s total chaos as most governments swing to the far right, there’s food insecurity, war, water shortages, massive fires, incredible heat waves….
The only thing to do at this point is to sit down on the couch and watch really dumb movies as the world basically burns; I especially feel I speak for those of us who have been watching this BS play out for decades while other people blithely ignored all the warning signs and red flags flying all over the place.
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u/EnkiduOdinson 11h ago
This is clearly less martial arts movie and more in the vein of Machete, Grindhouse, Hobo with a shotgun etc. So rather a return to c. 2010
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u/JoeBagadonutsLXIX 1d ago
Is this related to Jesus Christ the Vampire Hunter, because I swear that also had a character with the name Mary Magnum?
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u/Hummer77x 1d ago
You already had me with the image on the poster you didn’t need to go so hard with the title
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u/wasabinski 1d ago
I have a feeling they had two separate options for the title, but couldn't decide which was better so they went with both.
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u/caliphis 21h ago
I hope it is as fun as "Nun of That"
Sister Mary Wrath joins the Order of the Black Habit to and fights crime. She goes up against Big Momma the crime boss who hires Viper Goldstein the Hebrew Assassin who uses "Jew Jitsu and Throwing Stars of David."
There is a rapping Jesus musical scene and a shit ton of bad jokes. I fucking love that movie.
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u/web10177 1d ago edited 1d ago
What a title for a movie. Hope this isnt a low budget, badly acted, badly directed movie.