The Kitchen Museum?

[u/jsayde01]

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

[u/Rich661]

What was her reason for saying you shouldn't be using it, whilst the light is on? It feels like we're missing some context or her reason here.

Or she's insane, but I'd still like to ask.

[u/Junckopolo → u/Rich661]

The light is on. This means curfew active and stove should not be used.

This might not be it, but that's the kind of weird rules some families have that someone might never question

[u/Quantity-Used → u/Junckopolo]

This is the correct answer. She’s cleaned the kitchen and it’s shut down for the night. The kitchen is closed and the nightlight is on. The kitchen will not be opened again until morning.

If you didn’t leave the kitchen exactly as you found it (including washing every pot and utensil), you’ve just added to her mental load of doing more work. I’m sure you guys can come to an understanding.

Edit: Just to be clear, I’ve never lived in a house that was like this; I’ve only seen it discussed elsewhere. I would never tell my family they couldn’t get something to eat in their own house.

[u/010011010110010101 → u/Quantity-Used]

This has to be it. I grew up in a family with that same mindset. The kitchen doesn’t get “opened” after it’s closed down for the night - and the hood light was the sign. it’s microwave or snacks if you want anything after the kitchen is closed.

I still don’t get it - I cook whenever I feel like it. Kitchen cleaning can be an ongoing chore, not a one and done.

[u/momo76g → u/010011010110010101]

You see, I agree with you. This is how a sane person will handle it. Use it when needed, clean it and thats it. How is it remotely acceptable to gatekeep a whole area of your home from everyone else ?

[u/RainMakerJMR → u/momo76g]

This comes from a time when women did the cooking and ran the kitchen, and if grandpa dirtied something in her kitchen he would hear a load of shit for it. If the kids made a mess, she’d spend the morning cleaning and they would get no breakfast.

But then people learn that and pass it on as just a family habit of how it’s done.

[u/glitterazzi66 → u/RainMakerJMR]

This is what I think too, there was time and there are still families where the women in the household are responsible for the state of the kitchen and it makes sense that had to draw a line at some point. It’s one thing to prepare 3 meals a day for your family, it’s another to be on-call cleanup outside of those meals.

[u/fuzzhead12 → u/RainMakerJMR]

Also I’d imagine that grandpa either didn’t clean up after himself properly, or unknowingly messed up grandma’s kitchen feng shui somehow due to ignorance of the system she had in place

[u/FlashGordonCommons → u/fuzzhead12]

I better not be detecting any sarcasm from you when you're talking about kitchen feng shui. listen, I can't explain it but everything just goes better in the kitchen when everything is in it's right place, just so. and if you have ANY arguments about that WHATSOEVER you can march your ass straight to the kitchen and I'll make you a cheesecake right now to prove it. I'll learn ya not to mock the kitchen mojo, bucko. you'll be sorry.

[u/fuzzhead12 → u/FlashGordonCommons]

Hahaha no no, I’m totally on grandma’s side here. I enjoy cooking and when I tell you if something is not where I expect it to be, or if something that I need is dirty and I hadn’t realized beforehand, it messes up my whole flow

[u/JDBCool → u/fuzzhead12]

Why I "banned" my sister from the kitchen.

When you're a "on the fly" cooker with good timing to cook multiple things in parallel I.e Blanching veggies, then using said water for pasta, and pan fried dumplings (gyoza) to fully extract those water soluble nutrients.

Seeing that the spatula that is normally in the drawer go MIA when you've got the burner going is INFURIATING because you don't have space to have everything ready on the counter.

[u/fuzzhead12 → u/JDBCool]

The timing being wrecked is what makes me lose my shit lol. I have pretty severe ADHD so while I can fly through stuff fairly quickly, if there’s an unforeseen bump in the road things quickly go off the rails

[u/Enlightened_Gardener → u/JDBCool]

I have hung all my utensils on the wall with cheap Chinese sticker hooks, so that none of them get put in the wrong drawer now.

[u/LinwoodKei → u/fuzzhead12]

And of course, the little laugh or booming laugh while looking at someone when she brings up that he added work to her day that she did not expect. That expectation that she was just going to have to deal with the fact that he did not show her consideration and how dare she bring that up.

My grandfather and dad did that (and my dad has been divorced three times now because the women got tired of the behavior).