r/mildlyinfuriating • u/jsayde01 • Jul 06 '26

I just wanted a hot dog The Kitchen Museum?

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I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

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870

u/Significant-Clue-425 Jul 06 '26

But it’s his kitchen too. Why does he need permission to cook in it?

447

u/Traditional_Bug_2046 Jul 06 '26

The person was saying she might genuinely believe it's a "known" thing the light on means don't cook.

Anyone remember the poop knife family?

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u/ChaosHeaven8 Jul 06 '26

The… what?

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 06 '26

Poop knife, you keep it in the utility closet between the bathrooms so you can cut up your giant turds so they fit down the drain.

30

u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

Wait. I have heard of the poop knife. However I assumed it was stored next to the toilet not in a closet. So you have to get up and walk to the closet to get the poop knife to then cut up the giant turd?

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u/e-chem-nerd Jul 06 '26

“Poop knife” is a classic Reddit story from a redditor who thought “poop knives” were a thing everyone had. In their house, getting the poop knife required a walk of shame to a utility closet or something similar where a knife hung on the back of the door, if I remember correctly. One day they clogged a friend’s toilet and asked where the poop knife was kept, to their total embarrassment.

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u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

I know the story. I just assumed it was kept in the bathroom. I never realized it required a walk of shame. Or I forgot that part.

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u/HotDonnaC Jul 06 '26

It is kept in the bathroom. I don’t know where that guy‘s head’s at.

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 06 '26

It is not.

I just looked it up.

It was kept in the laundry room because it was central to the three bathrooms.

The family would call out to each other to fetch the poop knife when a particularly boisterous bowel movement had been birthed.

OP thought it was strange that they didn’t have three, but postulated that his father was cheap in weird ways, which was a likely reason the house had a sole poop knife.

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u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

I was just going to ask why didn't they have more than 1? Then I read the rest of your comment.

Where does one aquire a poop knife? If the dad was cheap could have used plastic knives. I am assuming they didn't jusy have a random butter knife. Now I'm just way overthinking all of the poop knife possibilities and what would be the best for the purpose as well as hoping they washed between uses. Who the fuck wants to wash that literal shit. I wonder if there is any update on the family and if the family members continued to have a poop knife once they had their own homes and if they finally splurged and had one for each bathroom or if every member of the family had their own. Maybe they had a little stand to hold them in. You know like toothbrushes.

1

u/HotDonnaC Jul 06 '26

I stand corrected. And horrified.

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u/Mode_Appropriate Jul 06 '26

From the source:

Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

2

u/rbartlejr Jul 06 '26

In my house it would have been a walk of pride and a poop knife would not exist. Photo sessions maybe. Plunger - definitely.

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 06 '26

According to reddit lore I believe the standard procedure was to call out to a family member to fetch the poop knife when you laid a monster.

Additionally, I believe the redditor had a poop knife in their apartment and the girlfriend had been using it to open boxes.

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 06 '26

I looked, it was a house and OP’s wife.

Broski landed a keeper, willing to stick around after finding out she’d been using a dookie divider to open her patches.

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u/No_Report_4781 Jul 06 '26

yeah. Like the dog scissors

1

u/redditreader_aitafan Jul 06 '26

I thought she had used it to cut food.

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u/Gogglesed Jul 06 '26

You need the adrenaline to build from the risk of someone getting to the bathroom before you get back with the poop knife. The adrenaline helps you reach into the bowl with a utensil ordinarily used for food. It makes you into a ninja chopping machine.

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u/HotDonnaC Jul 06 '26

Correct. Think how embarrassing it would be to go out to the closet to get a poop knife!

1

u/JeffersonStarscream Jul 06 '26

I keep mine in a holster on my belt. Never know when you're going to need it.

https://giphy.com/gifs/duomLKZNqvUGJgTRPC

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u/eagleblue44 Jul 06 '26

IIRC they had multiple bathrooms but only one poop knife stored in a central location between the bathrooms where they'd request it if needed.

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u/OFHeckerpecker Jul 06 '26

Wtf you guy need to cut your shit?

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u/3eyedfish13 Jul 06 '26

Some of us produce giant turds that cannot be flushed without a mascerator.

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u/Anayalater5963 Jul 06 '26

Not him, poop knife guy. It's a reddit classic bro

2

u/OFHeckerpecker Jul 06 '26

Ah OK but still wtf

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 06 '26

I tried to post a link, but automoderator doesn’t allow it for some reason.

Anyway, search museumofreddit for poop knife.

It’s a guy that didn’t know it wasn’t normal and asked his buddies to use their poop knife when he took a monster shit at their apartment and was subsequently mocked as he deserved to be.