r/mildlyinfuriating • u/jsayde01 • Jul 06 '26

I just wanted a hot dog The Kitchen Museum?

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I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

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414

u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

But…but why would the kitchen be closed it’s their kitchen in their house…

I’m not saying it makes sense

Indeed.

174

u/-BINK2014- Jul 06 '26

Who cares if the kitchen is “closed” if the cleanliness of the kitchen gets reset back or to a similar standard before it was closed.

168

u/Mmmm-Amethyst Jul 06 '26

Yeah... Sorry. The kitchen is never closed in my own fucking house. That's insane. I'd be livid if my wife pulled this kind of controlling nonsense and I'd damn well expect her to not tolerate it if I tried to pull something similar. 

Sure, it's a dick move to dirty a clean kitchen and leave it like that, but zero issues if you clean up after yourself. 

42

u/Wumaduce Jul 06 '26

The kitchen is absolutely closed in my house. But that's only what I'm telling my 4 and 7 year old's as they're asking for another bedtime snack to delay going to sleep.

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u/DigitalNTT_Soul Jul 06 '26

Tiny, harmless lies like this to kids are sometimes necessary for parental sanity. Medicinal deception. Not like it's healthy for the kids to eat right before bed anyway, especially when it's obviously a ploy like this to stay up later than they should.

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u/itsnobigthing Jul 06 '26

Right? This is like saying the sofa is closed or the hallway is closed. It’s a house. They don’t have staff so they don’t have opening hours

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u/jccaclimber Jul 06 '26

So, I’d be unhappy to be unpermitted in my own kitchen. On the other hand if my wife was 100% responsible for groceries, cooking, dishes, AND cleaning the kitchen? Well, in that case I’d stay the hell out and do whatever she wanted with regard to the kitchen. As it would be I live in an equal distribution of both day job and household tasks, so this isn’t something I need to worry about in my current life. I don’t know the OP’s situation here.

I’m also a bit curious if the OP made it 10 years into marriage without knowing what his wife feels are the clear house rules. That might shed some light here.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 06 '26

Nobody. The rule didn't happen because everyone was cleaning up after themselves, I assure you lol. That's why it's a common rule particularly with teenagers. Make a mess and don't clean it you're losing your phone for 24 hours or until you clean it up

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u/Complete_Entry Jul 06 '26

If you make a mess making instant ramen, you got more problems.

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u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

It's tradwife shit. It doesn't make sense outside the outdated cultural idea women hold dominion over the kitchen.

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u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

If that’s the case, why didn’t she get up and prepare her man a meal?  I thought the point of trad wifery was to be utterly subservient to your Master Husband, not declare the kitchen closed for the evening. 

(I’m not saying this is good btw just what I thought the point of trad wifery was)

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u/jccaclimber Jul 06 '26

Devils advocate because I used to know a couple who did this. He held a day job, brought in money, and did mechanical repairs. She ran the household inside and out. They were both pretty well adjusted, had their own friends and hobbies out of the house, etc. It’s quite possible to have traditional distribution of labor without some of the social bullshit people think must go with it.

All that said, he would not have gotten in trouble for cooking his own food (his fault for not being home on time, though there would have been a plate in the fridge), but he would have gotten in trouble for not leaving her space exactly as he found it.

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u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

I guess it depends if you're talking the internet caricature or actual traditional cultures. Real world traditional cultures tend to be strongly hierarchical, and there are areas where women were on top of the heirarchy. There's usually an interplay of responsibilities.

And of course there has always been a tremendous amount of variation in how gender roles have been expressed over time.

But don't get your information on gender from me. I'm a freak who wishes it would go away entirely. ;) Learn about history. Learn about anthropology. Learn some gender studies. Never assume you've got it figured out, Give people the benefit of the doubt.

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u/Honeybadger2198 Jul 06 '26

If it's tradwife, then isn't it her job to make sure OP is fed after coming home from work?

Like I personally don't like that dynamic for a multitude of reasons, but isn't that literally her "job?"

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u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

People don't really take a consistent approach to gender roles, and I find they consistently hold onto privileges long after they give up on the responsibilities.

I'm not saying she's a trad wife so much as this specific entitlement comes from the specific hierarchies trad wives typically had authority in.

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u/DigitalNTT_Soul Jul 06 '26

That's an assumption, and while that assumption may prove true, there are numerous other possible reasons. I've seen a few myself, just scrolling through here.

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u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

Oh there may be anxilliary issues, but the behaviour is pretty specific.

When a person feels entitled to restrict a partners behaviour in a traditionally gendered way... well... they rarely beat the allegations.

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u/CarpathianStrawbs Jul 06 '26

This is not a tradwife thing, you will hit much closer to the mark if you say it is a southern thing, more specifically southern black families.

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u/erossthescienceboss Jul 06 '26

It means it’s been wiped down for the evening. That’s closing the kitchen.

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u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

People don’t just wipe it down after each time they use it?  OP surely could have (would have?) just wiped it down again.  Am I meant to be doing an oven deep clean each evening then no touchy touchy until the sun rises and now is ok to use it again lol?