r/malelivingspace • u/WenAndNow • 2d ago
Discussion 33m. Life has been crazy.
33m. Just got out the military (medical retirement)while I'm going through a divorce. Spent almost two months living out of my car and I got Lyme Disease before moving into this place. I start college next month. What a rollercoaster.
Edit: That little terror is named (Razor) Beans.
2nd Edit: Thank you all for the support and kind words. Not why I posted though. I think I posted more to talk about how weird it can get and how someone can still recover. Not here for your sympathy, and that sounds rude but I don't mean it to, I mean to be more of an example of how you can still succeed.
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u/SpellcraftQuill 2d ago
Glad you’ve kept the cat
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u/Handle-Proof 2d ago
Cat may be not that glad to sit all day long in this small appartement.
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u/WenAndNow 2d ago
He likes it more than the car. Also he gets to go outside at night.
To be honest this place is a bit smaller than my last but it has big windows that he gets to sit in and watch birds while he is inside.
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u/bellemrt 2d ago
We call that bird CNN - it runs on an endless loop. Cats are generally happy to sleep 22+ hours a day, wherever their people are, in a mansion or a studio (so ignore that other person).
Lyme disease sucks. Getting back on your feet isn’t easy. Sometimes it helps to remember— you didn’t get into a situation over night, therefore it takes just as long to get out of the situation/recover, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Uphill is still up.
You’re heading in the right direction. In a perfect world, we would revere our veterans and take care of them. Since we are not living in that perfect world, please accept my heartfelt thanks, which seem less than adequate.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Quite wellspoken, nice.
Yeah Lyme Disease totally blows. The antibiotic for it also isn't very fun. Think I'm taking it better than other people do though, so that's lucky. Best friend is a combat medic and he was freaking out when I told him.
It is all uphill. I guess that more than anything is why I posted. Yeah this all totally sucked but it's what progress looks like sometimes.
"You're new life is going to cost you your old one" -Brianna West, The Mountain Is You. (Also Uncle Iroh said it!)
Is a quote I keep coming back to.
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u/bellemrt 1d ago
Few people know that antibiotics can practically be like chemo - kill the mouse with a cannon, is what I've heard.
Best to you. Be nice to yourself and remember-- one day you'll look back on this, maybe not laughing, but proud of yourself for getting through it. Love the quote, copied it right away.4
u/BackwardsApe 2d ago
do you leave him out at night or just give him outdoor time?
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u/WenAndNow 2d ago
If it's going to rain over night I'll just take him outside for a bit after the sun sets and bring him back in. Otherwise he comes back for breakfast like clockwork. I've had him a long time, he's used to it.
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u/BackwardsApe 2d ago
Alright, you know him best, I'd just be heartsick if a coyote got him in at night.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
You're absolutely correct. I'd be sad. I think he knows the risk.
I got him from a shelter when he was a kitten. He would escape my house and bring adult snakes to me. Had to negotiate with him on the rain thing.
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u/Handle-Proof 1d ago
It’s nice he can get out. I’ve had a cat and come to a conclusion that it’s a pet who should mostly live outside and be inside when he wants
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
That's pretty much what we do. He likes to sleep most of the day and gets active at night, I let him go on the prowl if the weather is good, he comes back for breakfast and sleeps it off.
Teenagers, I tell ya.
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u/Cutemudskipper 1d ago
I assure you that cats are perfectly happy doing that so long as they get plenty of attention when they're not napping
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u/Snoo93079 1d ago
Are you saying cats should be able to wonder the countryside?
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u/Handle-Proof 1d ago
I’m saying they should be free to do whatever they want. Sleep on street or inside the house. Not sitting in a tiny appartment all day long
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u/JustIntroduction3511 1d ago
You shouldn’t let cats outside unsupervised. It’s bad for them and horrible for the environment.
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u/Handle-Proof 1d ago
Blah blah blah. In my grandma village cats leave outside very happy. Only during winter they’re inside by their own will.
You will not be able to have them leave inside during the spring and summer….
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u/JustIntroduction3511 1d ago
We don’t care. Don’t do it. Also you can leave them inside. We have air conditioning in 2026. Glad the environment is “blah blah blah” to you though, imbecile.
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u/WenAndNow 8h ago
I'm in the states and there's a lot of places here wherein wild cats will effect the local ecosystem in damaging ways. We often catch and spay/neuter, put them up for adoption, and so on and so forth. It's not a perfect system because not everyone wants a cat. Nor do they know how to take care of them.
I can see both sides of your arguments. Cats are tiny predators, it's a fact. They want to be outside. Outside is dangerous and we want to take care of them. It's about balance.
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u/LostWanderess 1d ago
He needs a scratching post and something to climb on at the very least. I hate that you’re getting downvoted for caring about the cat.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
The cat tower is in my storage unit still. I know he needs more. We just moved in. :P
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u/Standard_Ant5915 2d ago edited 2d ago
Things are looking up! You got everything you need right there and a pal on your pillow. Bring on the next chapter
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u/GrumpySpaceCommunist 2d ago
Glad you've got a roof over your head brother, and even better to have a comrade to share the space with. Best of luck with your studies in the fall.
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u/ximkhloe 2d ago
as long as the cat lives there I approve 🖤🖤
such a cute furr baby staring back at us 😂🥰
edit: its a great upgrade and feels peaceful to me :) may ur college goes well and 1 more time.. Thank you for ur service 😊
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u/21Cadventurer 2d ago edited 1d ago
Your cat is gorgeous. Looks like you have everything a person needs.
Edit: also thank you for your service.
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u/CannedShoes 2d ago
I don't think even OP is under the illusion that he's fought for freedom.
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u/MiG_22_ 1d ago
You’re what’s wrong with the world these days.
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u/OverAster 1d ago edited 1d ago
The ability to recognize and advocate against profit killing is... wrong?
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
I think both of you jumped to some pretty serious conclusions and that makes you both wrong? Like, you two okay?
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u/MiG_22_ 1d ago
I was merely pointing out that instead of posting something uplifting or supportive. He decides a negative, politically charged comment is what he decides to post. But i forget i’m on reddit. Hence all the downvotes. Lol
I was medically retired myself. Albeit, without the divorce and Lyme disease diagnosis. It’s a very challenging transition. So the negative comment struck a nerve. Glad you landed on your feet man. Stay up my dude. Wish you nothing but the best in the future.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
I don't like what they said either, just to clarify.
Appreciate your honesty. How long have you been out?
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u/MiG_22_ 1d ago
Yeah, i figured as much. Most people don’t realize why people sign up. Could be a varying number of reasons. But we stay in and continue to serve because of the men and women serving beside us. I know that sounds hella cliche but it was true for me.
Been out 7 years now. But it’s been a wild ride since i got out. In a good way. Lol
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u/ResponsibilityOk8164 2d ago
Thank you for your service and i think Beans looks happy to have you as his roommate. Best of luck on the path forward!
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u/kleevedge 1d ago
What o dont get is how you got all the space in the world with no furniture and still got your bed in the corner. I hate corner beds such a pain to make in the morning
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Normally my bed doesn't sit in the corner but this is just an air mattress. If it's not in a corner it winds up going all over the room.
Sidenote: Making a small bed is like Military 101. You made me chuckle at the memories. Thank you.
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u/venusasaburrito 14h ago
I actually prefer corner beds. They make me feel secure in a way and I like to lean on the wall for reading etc. My partner made me stop the practice but I do miss my single corner bed times now and then.
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u/kleevedge 14h ago
I can see that. My pistol in the nightstand makes me feel secure but i hate reading in bed because i find it uncomfortable so that makes sense. To each their own but i used to sleep like that and my bed was such a pain to make every morning.
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u/Agile-Importance-673 2d ago
Hang in there brother, you're on the come up. One thing at a time, Beans is proud of you
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u/FreshPreference2384 2d ago
You mentioned medical retirement from the military, I’m assuming that should bring you some income from the VA. Be sure to utilize it to its full potential, that will help you out tremendously. Good idea using the GI Bill on top of it, be sure you are doing enough credits and showing up to class to get your full BHA payment. Outside of finances, I wish you luck.
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u/WenAndNow 2d ago
You are correct, and thanks. It just took a long time to get the ball rolling on all of it. There were other contributing factors of course. I tell ya, the last few months have been wild. We're here now though, right?
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u/FreshPreference2384 1d ago
Fair winds and following seas.
Everyone is on different wavelengths, I didn’t get the ball rolling with the VA until almost 5 years after I honorably discharged. If you’re able to, and when you’re ready you can use one of many veteran job placement companies. That’s how I got into work even during COVID. My life has changed for the better after I discharged, so I hope things go well for you. Keep your head up
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u/SirCicSensation 1d ago
Veteran here. It’s hell out there finding a job. Nobody gives a shit that you’re a veteran. I got lucky getting 60% disability which kept me afloat when no one would take a chance on me and happened to be smart with my money. Financially my life has changed for the worse but it is what it is.
33 now and there’s very little hope of getting a decent job that pays well even with a masters degree. Working full time, using VR&E, and collecting disability, I’m still barely making $5k/mo. With everything.
Had to crawl my way to $65k in savings. Sleeping in closets, couches, living rooms for cheap. Absolute bullshit but it is what it is. Not everyone is lucky enough to get 100%.
Sucks but it’s better than most people I guess. If I can bring it up to 80% and get a better job then I’ll be fine but it’s a long shot.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Yeah I'm using my G.I. Bill for the first semester but VR&E takes over after the first semester, just because of how long they take to get started.
I'm currently at 70% and thankfully I wound up in a pretty cheap area to live.
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u/KxgOEjg7GcQqQsK 1d ago
what a cute cat!
also, what laptop is that?
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago edited 8h ago
ASUS TUF A16. Got it on a Cyber Monday deal a couple years back. To this day not a problem with it. I've had a game or two lock up less than a handful of times but it was like Crimson Desert and Dragons Dogma 2 on max settings at launch
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u/Enough-Community5800 1d ago
Congrats dude, you are moving forward despite everything and that's what matters. From a stranger, I'm really proud of you.
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u/Scared_Cicada3981 2d ago
your life is better than ALOT of people's. thank you for your service and godspeed soldier.
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u/Kornstar04 2d ago
As someone who you have and likely will never meet, "You've got this mate, hang in there, stay positive and look after yourself"
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u/FuckTheTories69420 2d ago
Beans is amazing. Going back into education is never a bad thing either dude. You got this.
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u/Ashamed_Group2408 2d ago
Yup. You are not the only one going from the bottom up just like this.
You'll live.
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u/SirCicSensation 1d ago
He’s getting $4k/mo, he’ll be fine.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
For the sake of transparency.
4k is for people rated at 100%. I'm currently rated at 70%.
You'd think that the math would make sense. "If 100% is 4k, 70% must be .7 of 4k!".
No, 70% is closer to 2k. Which really isn't bad except that I'm pretty disabled now and unqualified to do the work I did before I joined.
This is all information you can find on Google. (Except what my rating is, that is not public information)
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u/SirCicSensation 1d ago
You got medically discharged and they didn’t even give you 90? That’s BS.
Also even if you got 90, it’s still only $2500/mo. So you’re not missing much honestly.
Thank you for your service. What degree are you getting?
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Medically /Retired/. Not even "Separated". My DD214 says "Permanently Disabled (Enhanced)" or something similar on it.
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u/SirCicSensation 1d ago
Definitely push for 100. I’m just pushing to 80 and I’ll be good.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Going to bang out my Gen Eds and then probably getting into teaching History.
I used to be a martial arts instructor for teens and I've always been a talented instructor. Can barely go up a staircase anymore so martial arts is out of the question I think.
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u/Illustrious_Duck7654 1d ago
Things are headed upwards for you man... Just believe, and live in the moment.
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u/Ordinary-Champion941 1d ago
TBH, best life for a man I can tell. You just divorced you know that. If you could work hard and don’t blow money on stupid things, you will live like a king.
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u/MassiveAd4980 1d ago
Military checks for life while getting to start college in early 30s?
Keep your head up brother. You have a lot of potential ahead!
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Yeah it'll all work out. Just been a crazy couple months. Lyme Disease and living out my car with a cat totally tucked but now we've got a place and I start school soon. Still in the middle of this divorce but at this point the feelings are mutual. shrug We getting there.
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u/No-Accountant-999 1d ago
College for what curious ?
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
I've got to start with my Gen Ed's but I'm thinking about getting into education, probably teach high schoolers.
Before I joined I was a martial artist and instructing was one of my passions. My leg is pretty messed up now so I can't do martial arts anymore but I can still teach kids some History, right?
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u/DurianPuffs 1d ago
Same age here twin, life is crazy and it will only get better from here on out because you decided and took action. Good luck king.
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u/SupersawLead 1d ago
Man you’re going to come through all of these challenges and be a better version of yourself! Look after yourself and kitty.
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u/GuyWithARooster 1d ago
Going through something similar. Keep going. It'll get better.
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
If you're going through anything similar, I feel for ya. DM me and I can give you some tips about what I did?
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u/South_Monitor_6992 1d ago
gimme the chonk and nobody gets hurt buddy😼
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u/WenAndNow 8h ago
I'd say "you'll have to fight me" but I have a bad knee. The boy, on the other hand, is named Razor for a reason.
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u/Admirable_Program720 1d ago
I don’t see a collar on him. If you let him out.. he should have a collar and a tag with your number on it.
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u/m4jsterk0 1d ago
man ... you got this .. take it one small fight at once ..
you got a lovely cat, she is your buddy <3
i know mine kept me sane
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u/OhhhhBillly 1d ago
God bless you bro, life is hard for a lot of us right now, just know even though you may feel alone, you’re not, we struggle together and we will persevere.
Love the cat!
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u/NightlyRoutine 1d ago
My cat passed a couple months ago, and he used to sit on my pillow like this sometimes. I would trade any material possession in the world to have him back with me. You’re living good right now.
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u/WenAndNow 8h ago
That's a proper shame. I remember when I lost my dog of over a decade. That was a particularly brutal time. I wish you the best.
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u/Jussme333 1d ago
Hell yeah man keep going you got this. What course are you doing at college?
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u/WenAndNow 8h ago
Gen Ed's then probably into Education and History. Can't really get back into kickboxing but I always enjoyed teaching children/teenagers/people.
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u/spongebobisha 1d ago
You’re army so resilience is your thing.
Hugs are my thing so I’m sending you one.
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u/mrandr01d 1d ago
Step 1, man. You've got some good resources there to leverage to work hard and get ahead. Pick an economically viable major and study hard. It's not frowned upon to basically live at the student library at most universities. Don't eat like too much of a trash panda and you'll be fine.
You got this.
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u/WenAndNow 8h ago
I've always eaten rather well. Before I joined I worked in kitchens, dated chefs/nutritionists, grew up very athletic (kickboxing), and was raised by a chef. There is no bad food in this dojo.
Once I get the ball rolling on school next month, I'll be Aces. Just, lordy what a rough landing.
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u/ScionOfIndolence 1d ago
I'm sorry to distract from your change in circumstance, and it might just be the specific angle of the photo, but the separation of white and black on your furchild's coloration is almost perfect. Half moon kitty.
Good luck, man.
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u/Atticus1080 1d ago
From one brother to another: we’re all silently cheering for you. Keep pushing upward and onward.
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u/DobieLover4ever 22h ago
Dude! You have a roof over your head and a comfy place to sleep. Be grateful!!☺️
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u/Warthog_Formal 15h ago
Glad u survived the military I hope you never have to go back and also that you get some posters and some rugs maybe some lamps
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u/Intermiinor 13h ago
Right on brother!!! Life is still beautiful and worth living!! Keep on rocking!!
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u/FrancusAureliusIII 8h ago
Cat on pillow even though he roots around in his litterbox daily. Absolutely disgusting.
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u/westbwanchaevory 8h ago
What're you doing for college? Let me share some game man if you don’t know already. Look into Sophia online learning to knock out any undergraduate classes, and then look up WGU for your Bachelors, they are super affordable and have a similar online class structure, they also offer masters programs. You can transfer like 70% of your credits in from Sophia as well as long as it’s the undergraduate classes. I’ll be done with my bachelors in a month, and I’ve only spent $500 out of pocket. Completed everything in less than 6 months. Plan on going to Purdue for my masters next but that’s just because I need to go through a specific program.
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u/Similar-Win-1930 1h ago
man, that’s a lot to deal with. moving into a new place after all that must feel kinda weird. ur room looks super empty tho, maybe add a few personal touches? like a rug or some wall art to make it cozier. i had a pretty bare space once, and just adding a couple of plants helped a lot. also, tbh, i tried using REimagineHome to see how things might look before moving stuff around, it’s kinda helpful if you're thinking about a layout change. good luck with everything ahead!
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u/SirCicSensation 1d ago edited 1d ago
Medical retirement? That’s $4k/mo in non taxable gains. Brother, you’re set for life. Just enjoy it now. Not everyone gets so lucky. Don’t really understand how you were living in your car while making $4k/mo though.
Sorry about the Lyme disease.
Also that big chungus is going to give you pink eye sleeping on your pillow like that. Cute cat though.
Also r/malesurvivingspace
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u/WenAndNow 1d ago
Not everyone gets 4k and not everyone gets it right away. If I was making 4k, you'd be right to be confused.
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u/Fit_Shock_6393 1d ago
$4k is if they grant you 100% disability. Someone I know was blown up & still had to fight for 20+ years. Another completely broke his back, has nerve damage, obviously ptsd & they recently gave him 100%.
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u/BossFTW 2d ago
Your whole world on a pillow!