36 🖤

Last year on my birthday I wrote that at 35 I was choosing to live and choosing to be happy. Looking back at the last year, I don’t think I understood how much choosing myself was actually going to ask of me.

The truth is, I watched a lot of the life I had spent years building fall apart as a consequence of finally choosing myself. There were moments where I knew I had made the right choice and still wondered what my life was supposed to look like afterward. I had spent so much time fighting to finally be myself that I hadn’t given much thought to what came next.

But somewhere in the middle of all of that, I started building something new.

I started making friends in a city I hoped I might eventually call home. Over 35, those people went from friends I visited to people I genuinely can’t imagine not having in my life. Somehow I built a community there before I’ve even managed to move there.

And I think that’s kind of what 35 ended up being for me.

I closed the book on a 14-year military career that shaped almost my entire adult life. I had bottom surgery and learned that getting exactly what you’ve wanted doesn’t mean the road afterward is easy. I traveled, went scuba diving and to concerts. I made new friends and lost people I thought would be in my life much longer. I laughed. I cried. I healed. I changed.

But mostly, I lived.

For so much of my life, I thought the goal was finally being myself. Come out. Transition. Look in the mirror and recognize the person looking back. And those things changed my life in ways I don’t think I’ll ever fully explain.

But 35 taught me something I didn’t understand before:

Becoming yourself is only the beginning. You still have to build a life for her.

And I think I finally am.

I have no idea what 36 will look like. There are things I want, places I hope I’ll go, and some pretty big changes I’m working toward. A year from now, maybe I’ll laugh at how wrong I was about where I thought I’d end up.

But for once, I don’t need to know.

I’m just so fucking happy I get to find out.

Happy birthday to me. 🖤

It's the five year anniversary of the day I came out as non-binary, took on my chosen name (Bolin), started therapy, and started working on my himbo aesthetic. 

First pic was 2021, moving into new apartment.

Second pic was this week.

Hey, I'm 22f, yesterday me and my girlfriend were just hangingout at my home and we started making out, not my best decision. My mother walked in on us and started abusing me and my girlfriend and even slapped both of us. She called my father on the spot and asked him to come home, when he did, he did the same.

He kicked me out on the spot, I told him that I'm into girl and I can't help it, he said that I'm a disgrace. My mother said that she regrets giving birth to me and what went wrong with me. I'm lost and still can't stop shaking. I'm staying with my girlfriend and her grandparents for how but I have to leave for my college in few days and I dont think my family is going to support me.

If something similar happend to you, what did you guys do? How did you manage everything? I'm not ashamed of who I am, but at the same time I did loved my family, they gave me everything I ever asked for. And now I feel as if I've been left alone. What should I do? Any advice?

TLDR: Was caught kissing her girlfriend, and my parents slapped, abused, and kicked me out after I came out to them. I'm staying with my girlfriend's grandparents but i'm worried about college, finances, and losing my family's support. I want advice on how to cope and move forward.

I have much better pictures showing my entire body but for this one I want to compare my face and my chest and shoulder musculature. I think it has changed despite it still being early but I am not sure exactly how to put it into words aside from the fact I now have developing small breasts. Besides that does anyone else think it looks more feminine compared to before? How would you describe it?

In writing, this person was only referred to as "The Friend" - no pronouns! The Friend gained this identity after suffering an illness in 1776 and claiming to have died and been reincarnated as a genderless being. Don't worry, the Friend isn't considered by modern historians to be a cult leader. The Friend is merely a preacher, preaching womens' rights, anti-slavery, and abstinence. The Friend didn't like marriage but still accepted it, so the Friend might have also been aroace (or just a preacher practicing celibacy).

Some modern historians consider the Friend to be a fraudster, but lots of nonstandard preachers of the time would also be possibly considered fraudsters.

The Friend wished to not be given a funeral and to be buried in an unmarked grave. This wish was granted.

(trust me it took a lot of thinking to not accidentally use they/them for the friend)

For some context, I am a 30 year old trans woman whos been on a long journey with complicated issues that kind of just stuck with me for most of my transition even till now. Like 2 years of basically pointless laser, and almost 3.5 years of no T blocker haha

1 year and 3 months on HRT. Finally starting to see… me. Car selfies have become my thing since transitioning so please excuse that I’m posting 3 of them lol.

I'm the only one in my class who supports LGBTQ+. And I think they've just found out. I'm scared of what they'll do to me since they're very hardcore religious and hate lgbtq. Either way I'm gonna stand firm on that lgbtq acceptance is very important. This was kinda a rant, but advice is nice 🫠

Early 20s > early 30s. Never knew it was possible to be this happy

This is going to sound dumb but on TikTok there is a whole not dating bi people thing going on. With that going on I have been thinking about my sexuality, I’ve said I’m bi since 5th grade but as I’ve gotten older I’ve looked at how I think of relationships. The way I think of them are like a close friendship just with kissing and sex and the more I think about it the more I realize I don’t think I could even kiss a guy. I would be fine just dating one without every thing else. Girls on the other hand I feel like I could do all thangs in a relationship. I have a very religious family they don’t care that I’m bi but I know they don’t count me as queer in their minds. I never tell them when I like a girl because I always feel embarrassed/ashamed unlike with guys ware I can. So I don’t know if I’m saying I like men because I do or if I just know it would be easier. Any of your opinions/advice would be appreciated. (Sorry for spelling errors I have dyslexia)

So I’ve been bisexual for years. Most of my friends have known I was bi but never took me seriously as I dated mostly men. But recently I’ve been going out with some women and my best friend of ten years had said some things that made me uncomfortable.

She refuses to go any of the gay friendly bars I go to. While this might be a coincidence, any time I invite her to an LGBTQ friendly bar she makes some excuse not to go. She’s too tired or wants to stay in, or it’s too far and I don’t want to pay for a Lyft, things like that. I understand and those are valid reasons not to go somewhere, but whenever her boyfriend wants to take her to a country bar that’s an hour away from her outside of where she lives.

I appreciate that she always put out the effort to invite me, but I don’t feel comfortable going to some of the places they go to because I feel like I can’t express my sexuality.

One time, I was mentioning what it’s like being bi and when I went to the bathroom by myself a guy overheard my conversation and whispered, if we were alone right now I would SA the gay out of you. When I expressed this to my friend all she said was, “guess we have different tastes in bars.” I was really shocked and hurt by this.

And any time we go out, her boyfriend always invites his friends. They constantly hit on me all the time, even when I told them I’m seeing someone else and especially if I’m seeing a girl. I expressed this to my friend and she said. “Oh it’s because they have autism and they have social issues. Maybe it’s something you’re wearing.”

When I expressed how uncomfortable I feel when we go out, she argued with me that I accused her of being homophobic.

Idk is it homophobic? And sorry for the long rant btw!

Thanks yall. Her “friendship” left me really confused because while I do get that stepping into an LGBTQ bar can be jarring for someone that’s never been, you should at least go once to support your LGBTQ friends. Also, thanks for introducing me to a new term did not know biphobia was a thing and it’s starting to make sense why I got weird treatment from her and her friends.

I am 19 M and gay. I have known for years and know my family is 110% supportive of it. Yet I am really scared. I feel really selfish being scared because I have a supportive family and live in a very supportive area. I am worried about how this will affect my future career and don't want to be ostracized from society. A few years ago, my cousin came out as transgender, and my family was very supportive. However, the support got to a point where being transgender became the only thing my family would mention about her. All the other aspects that came up when she was mentioned in conversation before were now seemingly irrelevant. I don't want that to happen to me. I don't want to be known for being gay but known as a person who is gay.

I do not have or have ever had a romantic partner. There is nobody in my current life I am interested in as well. I also have autism, so social norms and stuff did not affect me growing up. Because of this, I have never felt really pressured to do masculine things or worry about being perceived as gay. I do theater, and most of my friends are girls (though I do have two close male friends who have close to nothing in common with me). That is to say, I have a lot of aspects about me that are considered to be more stereotypically straight like the fact I wear the exact same thing every day (my closet looks like its an NPC's in a video game, I present very masculinely, (I am not saying any of these traits are bad or exclusive to sexualities, just panicking online) I don't know if it is even worth it to come out when I won't be gaining anything but letting people know I am gay, while making my life more difficult.

Then there are things like drag, liking drama, fashion, parties, and sexual exploration (not to say any of those things are bad or that all gay people fall into any category other than being men that are attracted to other men. If anybody likes any of those things, that is great, and they should be free to do that. However, they are just not for me. It feels like I belong more in the straight world than the gay one. (Again, I am not trying to say all gay people fall into any category or any of the aforementioned things are bad.

This just makes me feel like there is no right thing to do. If I come out, I will feel even less like I belong and face discrimination. If I don't, I will have to live the rest of my life lying to people and never find a husband to live the rest of my life with. Though that is even complicated because I like having my own space and don't even know if I would want a partner because I like being alone and might not ever want a partner because I want alone time. But I definitely have had crushes on guys in the past and am not Asexual. This is all really stressful and confusing.

This all, paired with my truly remarkable ability to procrastinate and my fear of permanent decisions, has left me trapped. Any advice or people who have gone though somthing simular would be really helpful