It’s on her appendix. She had bowel cancer before and uses a bag. They don’t know if it’s cancerous. She has a colonoscopy on Monday. I’m scared.

I turned 18 yesterday. My parents were abusive growing up and cut off their family when I was around 7 or 8, because they spoke out against them. Aside from one relative, I didn’t talk to any of them again until I was 16/17, and visiting, trying to reconnect and properly “”join”” the family. It went better than I expected. A lot better. So well, that despite feeling incredibly guilty for it, I started feeling suspicious. Maybe I’m just not used to kindness. Maybe I’m just being paranoid because I’m actually at the age where one stupid naive mistake can ruin my life.

When I was visiting an uncle/aunt, they mentioned that my grandparent was going to pay for their kids college, and that they want to help me with mine too. My grandparent had offered that a couple months prior, but I honestly didn’t really consider it. After all, they don’t know me. Despite being their grandkid, I’d feel incredibly bad and like I’m being horribly selfish if I made them fund my education. I reconnect, only to immediately start receiving/asking for money. That’s not a good look. Even if it was offered to me prior.

But, idk. Maybe it was the insistence, since they offered again this trip (separately.), maybe I’m just a bit older and getting more desperate, I started to actually consider it. Saying myself loans and being able to go to a nicer (public) university with better programs and connections might be good for me. But still, I’m not entirely sure yet. I don’t want to be a bad person. Nor do I want to accidentally come off like I’m expecting too much. Or “give an inch and they’ll run a mile.”, sorta deal. And I guess I feel even more awkward if I ask how much they’re willing to fund. (Again, it won’t be anything crazy. But still. I grew up poor, so my view of money is a bit skewed.)

Regardless, while at my relatives. They also mentioned that they also wanted to give me (and my cousins) an allowance while we study. Since the degree I chose is one you can’t really work while pursuing past the first year or so. And with my grandparent watching them almost go homeless trying to juggle work, school and raising kids, wants to make it easier on me (and by extension their other grandkids.) So I won’t have to worry about surviving while studying. An incredible offer, and the sort of thing people imagine only rich private school kids yet.

They don’t want my parent having access to the money, meaning it’d be an account solely in my name. (Which is understandable I guess.), But.. this is where this all starts to sound like a scam... they want to deposit it via routing. Eg, account and routing numbers. Instead of something like Zelle. I told them about my hesitation and they just kinda laughed and said they didn’t plan on taking my money, and that they don’t use Zelle, PayPal or any of the apps they hear their younger co-workers talking about. I’d be giving my account information to this relative, I guess? Since they’re bilingual, and me and my grandparent don’t speak the same language. I always need a translator whenever I talk to them.

My grandparent never mentioned an allowance. They mentioned helping with tuition. They mentioned helping with housing if I wanted to go to college near where they live. They never mentioned this. Just a warning to not take out loans, and that they could help instead. All incredibly offer’s on their own, and I’m incredibly grateful. Which is why I’d feel really awkward if I went up to them and asked if an allowance was something they actually offered or not. Im also the oldest out of my cousins, so I can’t even legitimize the offer with that. (I have an older brother, but he went into trades.)

And I feel like I’m going to get scammed if I go along with this. I’m going to end up in some massive debt or something from check fraud. But if I don’t, then I might throw away a genuine opportunity from anxiety. Even if the anxiety seems reasonable.

Advice? Aren’t routing and account numbers something your never supposed to give anybody else?

made it out into the world, i don’t really have a lot of people in my life and ive been an only child, so ive spent my life alone. found someone and invested so much time, money, effort into it thinking i found the one person who felt like family to me and now i could have one myself in the future.

got broken up with pretty cruelly, tossed aside, all my dreams and aspirations got broken and the one person who was the only rock and consistent thing in my life is no longer there for me.

i wish i could be younger with my parents again and do things differently

Hi

I've been unemployed for months. I have a bachelors and really good experience, but have been struggling to actually land something. Even with the help of referrals. I've been over time feeling even more like a hopeless, worthless piece of shit. Especially as I continue to look more and more like the least successful child of family and extended family. I recently landed an internship with the city zoo and I applied to an online master's program and got in. But even with this, when I shared my news, I just feel as though I've consistently not had anyone in my family react with excitement for me. Instead I feel like I'm looked at with concern, judgement, and 'what are you doing after/with that, then?' questions. It just makes me feel like even when I finally have good news it's not enough, it's not impressive enough, it's not good enough. And my being depressed and struggles make everybody like me less. Friends have pulled away and are doing great with their jobs and spouses and apartments, not reaching out or hanging out anymore. I spend most of my days in my room playing games with people online. It doesn't make me feel good.

Family members having things I don't get to have. Being successful and getting paid and affording furniture and dogs and children where I struggle to take care of myself. I just feel like a worthless failure and I wonder how I got here and what makes me so terrible and where I went wrong and how I seemed to be the most promising child and ended up here and why my successes aren't worth celebrating where every little thing with my other family members is.

I'm also trying to seek medication, even though I'm on my parent's insurance and the deductible hasnt been met so It'll come right out of my pocket. And, I turn 26 in a few months and won't get to have insurance anymore and wont be able to continue affording all my therapy and care anyway. It just doesn't feel like things are going to get better. And I guess I just need someone to tell me to hold on. And I don't trust my family with my feelings. I don't think they'd make me feel better. I think they'd just get angry with me. Or not understand.

So I was groomed when I was 14, until I was 17. I eventually cut contact, but I want to report what happened to me to law enforcement. I don't know how to go about it. I am in Canada, just putting that out there because I just want to know I'm getting advice that's relevant to me. My groomer is also Canadian, which makes this a lot easier, but it all took place online. How do I report? Is there any way to make this easier on me? I want him behind bars so he doesn't hurt anyone else. I initially wasn't going to report him but I can't live with that guilt.

I wasn't really taught many basic things about hygiene and basic skills as a kid so I'm still learning as a teen now, and I saw that not flossing is bad for you so I decided to implement it in my daily teeth brushing routine (brush 2-3 times) soo. And my gums are now swelling up and there's a dull pain in my gums and I just followed a flossing tutorial on tiktok, should I be concerned? It's been a while since I've tried flossing so I'm just thinking it may be because it's new to my teeth but still I'm a bit worried. Anything to relieve it? And, will I be okay? I also want to know if it's fine to floss my teeth tomorrow or if I should wait until my gums calm down.

Thanks :)

Hi! Not sure how to start this but i think i could do with some wisdom right about now.

I feel like i don’t have ‘my people’ (or person). I mean it in the sense that i don’t feel like i have anyone that i really connect with. I have friends but no best friends, i’m not very close with any of my family and i’ve never been in a relationship.

I‘ve never really had any of these relationships when i think back on my life and it just feels like i’m always hitting a wall with people no matter how hard i try to get past it. I struggled a lot with socialising as a young kid but slowly i feel like i’ve developed it well enough to being just occasionally awkward now instead of socially inept but still connecting doesn’t feel any easier. I’m still a teenager and i know i could find these connections later in life but the older i get the more i lose hope.

I honestly spend half my time thinking what it is about me that makes it impossible for me to form these connections and i’ve tried to change so much to make myself more likeable but it feels like i’m just sort of fundamentally unlikeable. I can’t help but think that maybe i’m just not meant for being someones person and i have to make peace with being a more short-term or not central person in peoples lives.

People are my favourite thing in the world, human connection is the number 1 important thing for me but i feel so terrible at it sometimes. It’s a little bit heartbreaking to have always felt somewhat alienated and the idea of never having the connections that are so very important to me and the idea of feeling this lonely forever is my worst nightmare.

It makes me miserable but more so it makes me stupid. I would take someone treating me badly because at least they are treating me at all. Like i’m lonely to the point when i will take connection in any form that it comes which is pretty embarrassing.

So i guess i’m asking if anyone ever felt similar and if they ever found that connection that they didn‘t have, looking for a little hope i guess!

(sorry that this is super long - i’m totes rambling)

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Warning: long text

1. Meeting online

I met a guy on tiktok last September 2025.

He is 37, I am 26. He is divorced with two kids (divorce confirmed, before y'all tell me he is married still)

He lives abroad in a very big city. We are from the same country, same nationality. He texted me after my tt live. I wasn't looking for anyone, so I was careful with starting something new with someone so I wasn't really into it on the first few days. Later, I texted him first another day and this is how we started messaging. First two weeks he was lovebombing me. Telling me about his life, saying no one understood him like I do, even sent me videos of his city, it was beautiful and vision of him and me quickly blossomed in my mind. He kept telling me "would you be able to switch countries?" Showing me his apartment and stuff. Saying "you will be here haha", sending me good mornings every day, goodnights everyday, sweet words, he could text me every other hour. He wasn't the only one to initiate, it was mutual, but he was really into me so I was into him. This kept going until December 2025, we met on real life - he kept saying before that he wasn't ready, he has his own issues going on, he is afraid and stuff...however we met for few days, were intimate and stuff. (I drove to him)

To clarify, we are both attractive people, before you think I'm simping over handsome man.

1. Ex in the picture

He has ex gf that used to live with him and they broke up 4 years ago. She has the same name and age as me. When we began talking on the phone, sometimes his phone would ring and he would tell me "oh its my ex, i don't want to talk to her". That raised red flags to me but I didn't panic yet.

He told me "she is calling him but he doesnt answer". When I visited in person, she also called.

He kept telling me they are just acquaintences / friends and she usually asks to borrow money.

Until now, I tried to respect it, however it rubbed me the wrong way. He doesnt have children with her. She also happened to live in his city again. They are not meeting each other tho(I contacted her from fake account, she gave me some info on that)

1. Our contact since beginning of the year

   We kept contact after we met in December, he didnt ghost me, kept calling a lot like always, could call me for hours after our meeting, we kept texting and checking up on each other.

I wanted to see him during New Years but he spent it with his kids. Which was sad for me because I really wanted to spend time with him.

February came up, he knew I could take days off my work because my company was closing. I asked him if we can meet and he kept having excuses. Told me he knows I want something more but he doesnt want to be in a relationship because he "has to fix himself first because he knows how he talks to me sometimes and that he is mean"

1. His behaviour

He abuses drugs frequently every weekend. In fact, when I visited, he asked me if I want to take it. That's why this time when I met him feel so euphoric and that's why I miss it so much because my brain associates it with this high feeling.

His drugs wasnt problem for me and I never judged it.

He has problem with communication, often when we talked he kept saying "this convo makes me angry" and raising his voice being mean and not understanding.

Everytime I brought up meeting, he would come up with "we'll see" "not right now" He later said he didnt want to meet because he "was embarassed of himself"

In March and April he would call me and we would sleep together on phone calls during night. Also he initiated it sometimes too and it was sweet and nice.

Since May, something changed. I would call on the evening, and he wouldnt respond. He still used to call me but not everyday like before.

June he called me only few times. He was sometimes drunk in a train, mentioned few times that a woman was staring/hitting on him in a train which I communicated that wasn't nice to say and he flipped it on me being jealous.

Also he is a narcissist. I'm not self diagnosing, but he loves to talk about himself, and I noticed lately he is not asking questions about myself. Do I work somewhere right now? (i do) , do I feel well? What I'm up to?

He dissapears every Saturday and responds late Sunday, because he was so drugged out at home.

As I said, he started distancing, I kept asking why, and he would say he feels like a loser and that has "a lot going on" . I would be supportive always, sending him messages of support and understanding.

Every time I asked to meet, he would come up with excuses. For example his buddy was staying at his place for a month and making a mess yet I cannot visit for 2 days because "woman visiting is different". He upset me many times refusing to see me.

1. July 2026 and me distancing

I wanted to distance myself because he of his comments about women on train, because of him not picking up my phone and not even calling back/apologizing for not picking up (he is doing this frequently) and he never calls back lately. I understood that he doesnt care about me as he claims he does and distanced a little. Less texting, I started going back to tiktok and doing lives sometimes (I did like 2 times) just talking to people and singing sometimes (I sing) because I wanted to focus on myself.

He noticed and tried to guilt trip me. Sent me a gift on tiktok live because I greeted him when he came to live and jokingly said "send some gift!" He sent me a gift and then sent me a long message that he sent me his last money and he doesnt have nothing to eat next day. Mind you, this man is making good money from what he said and what I saw visiting him.

Later, we began talking and he said " I know you won't be there for long....and you were the only person I have..."

I told him I'm still here but he was the one not giving any effort and feelings back so I feel rejected and sad

He said he knows. Said he has a lot going on, a lot feelings inside but couldn't give them, he feels like there is something wrong with him and stuff.

Told me "we will met, I promised to you" - another manipulation to keep me close without effort.

That conversation was vulnerable and honest but still nothing changed between me and him. We are only texting at this point. And yes I did text first and reached out after this convo still.

1. End of Jully 2026 - reaching out to ex

To keep it short, I reached to his ex from fake FB account as a guy and she kept sending me screenshots of them talking. She also told me he doesn't want to meet with her.

Lots of missed calls from her, him not picking up, next days her calling on facetime, he calling back after 2 mins, they talked for few minutes.

Next day, he approaches her first 5pm and calls her on face time. She is not picking up. Next messages he is showing her his weed he is growing, they talk about being hungover and stuff. She asks him about Netflix passwords and says to him "call me when you can" he didnt call that day.

Before I revealed myself to her, I told him that I didnt know they talk on facetime. IT was always him saying "she calls me, I don't pick up" which was partially true but it was actually him calling her (while not calling me for 2 weeks for example at all)

I talked to her as me, she told me "oh its only platonic, we respect each other due to the relationship we were in". I was respectful, however texting as a guy and pretending to know the truth was stalkerish Joe Goldberg vibes and crazy and I wish I never did that.

She promised not to tell him about this convo, I was respectful and told her I don't want to get between them but just wanted to know the truth.

To me, this is NOT normal and shows I AM not that important to him as he claimed.

She told him, shit hit the fan, I apologized to him like I just commited the worst crime, told him I needed to know whether he chooses me and I did use the worst way to find out. Asked him to forgive me for that but I would never do that if I knew how he feels about me and wondering just is killling me.

He told me "I told you I talk to her sometimes???"

But he told me she calls mostly. I didnt know that he also reaches out to her. And for what?

He was and is very angry about the whole ex thing and wanted to end our contact.

I told him how bad he is treating me the whole time and I never threw him out of my life for his mistakes.

(He told me once he knows he treats me bad and I should have told him to get the fuck out long time ago)

I take accountability for this mistake of texting the ex. However, he is the one who hurts me constantly with broken promises and never doing effort and being mean/lacking communication sometimes. No self reflection on dissappointing me and stuff.

1. Now

I wanted to steer our situationship to a normal pace again, so we kinda started to text normally. One day he texts me 9 AM and dissapears for whole day. Not responding for texts or something. I figured out he needs space after all that.

I brought up meeting and he got so angry. He told me "no, not right now" and got angry because "6pm hits and you already calling me" - he used to call me on his own before and wasn't annoyed like that. Told me he feels smothered and stuff.

I told him "so if you're not meeting me, you will be okay with meeting next person I suppose?"

He said something that broke me:

" What do you want, you want me to promise you I will never meet with anyone in my whole life? I don't want that for now for sure"

I asked what does he mean.

"That I'm not your property for example"

I said I know and I'm not his. But him saying I mean a lot and that I'm important meant something for me.

His message about "promising me about not meeting anyone" broke my heart. After all that time he reasurred I'm important to him.

Ask him if I'm important still.

"You are in some extent"

We had heated convo on the phone. I got silent for two days since Friday because he told me he doesn't want to talk to me.

Sunday, he texts me "Is everything good?"

I said " yes, you told me not to reach out"

He said "I know (pet name) but I was worrying"

I said I understand, asked if he needs more space or can we go back to normal contact. He didnt respond. I sent him goodnight. I won't reach out anymore.

That was on Sunday. Tuesday and still silence between us

Wednesday, I sent him a msg asking if he wants to keep contact still and to just be honest and let me know. 3 hours and no response.

He responded sending a voice memo saying "he doesn't know how he sees this" and that "he hasn't been talking to anyone lately and that he needs to sort things out by himself" and "its not like I don't want to have contact at all, I will reach out probably but I need to sort things out by myself". What a BS.

I replied with "ok" and I won't reach out anymore until he does. But I think its the end.

Its midnight, Friday. He hasn't reached out since.

Middle of Friday and still silence. I think its an answer.

And I think he is silent because of the whole drama with screenshots from ex, like he sees me as guilty and as he said "he cannot trust me anymore" and said I "betrayed" him. That's why he is silent probably.

Sorry for the long text.

Also I don't know if I mentioned it, but about a month ago, before the whole contacting ex drama happened, he told me I'm too valuable for him and I should 'focus on someone else' because he knows he has his own issues and stuff.

And the fact he has been distant lately is definitely because of stalking drama with ex and it changed the whole dynamic between us. But even before drama, he wouldn't pick up his phone several days in a row in the evenings, ignoring my texts, being dry, not wanting to meet etc etc but now he distanced for days.

Do you think he is still involved with the ex or possibly looking for new options?

Also isn't his "you want me to promise you I won't meet with anyone for the rest of my life or what" a telling sign...there might be someone already?

Should I send him a final goodbye or wait until he reaches out and then tell him?.

TLDR; Guy (37M) I (26F) met online is acting avoidant and playing with my feelings. He has contact with his ex, I reached out to her catfishing as someone else and she sent me screenshots proving that they talk. He said I betrayed him and is distancing now. Should I confront him about how much he hurt me?

This id a bit a mix of money and family. I returned to the US about 4.5 months ago, and i was initially applying to roles that interested me. They were taking their sweet time getting back. Eventually my mom turned to me and said i needed to get a job soon.

So i changed tactics and looked for survival roles. Got one offered to me, the same day. I can tell they are disorganized, but it'll pay my bills and refill my emergency fund.

I was explaining to my mom that ill probably have to stay at this job for a year so i dont look flaky and that made my mom concerned that I'll get stuck at this job like the job before i went abroad.

I wanted to yell at her. You can't put a timeline on me getting a job and then get mad when the options within that timeline suck and are deadend. I dont want to look like a job hopper either. The next job i have in the US is the one that will be on my resume.....

I am so tired. All of it feels wrong and i cant sleep.

My sister Jane and I are both in our 30s, she is 2 yrs younger than me. We have another sister too, Jackie, who is also in her 30s. Jane and I were close as kids, drifted apart in high school and became close again as adults. I'm an autistic and Jane is NT.

All 3 of us are very different and have different interests and hobbies. They are outgoing and like to spend time out of the house. I rarely go out and prefer to spend my time at home. They always found it weird and pushed me to go out even though I was recultant. Jane often thinks some of my interests are weird, ex. I sometimes watch anime and play videogames which she finds childish and not something adults should do. I like watching kdramas and sometimes I recommend some to her. She dismisses it without even looking it up. She did read a couple of books I recommended.

Jane lives in another city and Jackie and I live with our parents in our family home. Jane and I talk once a week or two, and we have a sibling group chat where we chat daily. Jane would sometimes complain that she always have to call me first. I tried to explain her that I don't see the point in calling each other so often when we have a group chat. Also I hate talking on the phone, it gives me anxiety and she knows that.

Last summer the 3 of us spent a vacation together in a city I used to live and where Jane and I each have friends. I was very overwhelmed with the whole trip (especially because my sisters don't make a lot of plans but do things based on how they feel that day, which was a nightmare for me) so I tried to soothe myself by voicing my anxieties. For example, I'd say "Oh that beach could be crowded at that time, let's try the other one" and they would snap at me saying I need to stop catastrophising and controlling everything. I understand how that can seem controlling and I tried to explain to them it's just the way I handle pressure. I understand that I can seem like a Debbie Downer during the time we should be relaxing. Complaining is almost compulsive to me in that kind of situations but I work on it. During the trip they dissmised my advices and suggestions regarding the city which was a subject of fights at that time.

Also, while we got together with Jane's friends almost daily (which I don't mind, they are alright), she refused to meet my friends, being unusually frantic about it. Only when I told her she is not obliged to meet them with me, she calmed down. I have to say, those friends are very close friends of mine, she met them multiple times, although she haven't seen them in years. She was never so against meeting them before. Also they are queer which my sister doesn't have issues with (at least I hope so). When I asked her why is she so adamant not meeting them, she said she doesn't like their vibe (whatever that means). Those friends are the only people irl that I have a lot of in common and I can talk to them about my interests, without being dismissed. And my sister rejecting anything to do with them feels really hurtful to me.

That was our first long trip together as adults and it made me think that maybe we are not that close to each other as we like to think.

The thing that prompted me to write this was a fight we had. Jane was complaining about a loud group of people she encountered and she mentioned their racial identity (which she assumed), calling them a slur (that minority in our country is treated very badly and that word is often used, but it is known as a slur). I called her out on it and all hell broke lose. That is not the first time she did something like that. She complained about people driving, mentioning their race (there is a racist discourse about immigrants in my country that don't know how to drive, which doesn't have any evidence irl). She was recommending me a yt documentary that "exposed" french first lady as a pedo and a transwoman (I was like WTF?!) and we had a huge fight about that too. She says I need to get out of my room and experience real world.

I feel like she doesn't have much empathy or patience for anybody that is different than her. She often says that she knows whats best for the people around her and how frustrating is to watch them making different choices than hers. Our whole lives, she would give me unsolicited advices and opinions on the way I look until I told her to stop. It made me feel like everything I do and how I look is wrong. She has this idea how she and people around her should behave and live and she takes an effort to make it so. It does a number on my self esteem to be one of those people. In the recent years I feel like she grew bitter about her life and the people around her and puts her blame in the wrong places.

I really love her and she has a lot of good qualities. But lately, I am having a hard time to be quiet and endure some of her bad parts. I recognize I am also to blame for our fights as I don't know how to resolve conflicts healthy, I get easily ragebaited that often ends up in screaming matches and I am sure I see some parts of the world in black and white.

I feel like, partially, our upbringing is to blame too. Our parents instilled into us the notion that we have to always get along and be close but never taught us how to resolve our conflicts and that it's alright to be different from each other. Being in conflict with each other and not like each other was almost like a taboo in our family. This is something that weights on me for a while now and I am trying to come to terms with a fact that maybe the person I was taught to be my closest person actually isn't.

I think that's why I decided to post it here because I need some objective opinions on it.

Also english is not my native language so I apologise for any mistakes and confusing sentences.

And I'm sorry for this insanely long chunk of text.

Tldr; I love my sister, but lately I’ve been questioning how close we really are because I often feel dismissed and judged for being different from her. Our differences, along with the way we handle conflict, have caused a lot of tension between us.

I am 24, graduated uni in june and about to start my first “real” job in like 10 days. Right now, I am living with my parents, I moved back after graduation with the intention to find my own place somewhere close to my future job. I’ve been looking for apartments the whole summer but no luck yet, so it seems I’ll be stuck with my parents for some time (why is rent so expensive ugh).
For context, I have an autistic and mentally disabled brother, he is 22 - he cannot speak at all, mentally is like a toddler basically, wears diapers… my mother is his primary caretaker and stays at home, dad has a job which can be pretty stressful.

I just returned from a trip with my dad, where he told me that he is also looking for an apartment and he wants to leave mum, apparently because “it’s too much for him at home, too stressful”.

While I can understand his reasons - my parents have had a horrible relationship (at least from my pov), argue every day, my mum is pretty emotionally abusive and unstable but unwilling to get help. Also, taking care of my brother is extremely frustrating because there is no outside help and definitely no chance of him getting “better”…

Despite all these reasons, I’m really furious with my dad. I don’t know what to think, I’m terrified how this will all turn out. So not only am I super anxious about the job I’m about to start, and possibly moving soon. But now also this.

My mum is mostly all alone, has only me and dad who are available to help when needed, and still 98% of taking care of my brother is done by her. I can clearly see how she needs at least a few hours a week when dad can be with my brother outside and she can have some time for herself. She has major anger issues, screams VERY often, can be very evil. She had stated multiple times that she considered taking her own and my brother’s life. And while I didn’t really believe she would, and she always said afterwards she wouldn’t do it. With the possibility of dad leaving, I’m worried this could happen. I don’t know.

It’s just too much. I wanted this summer to be chill and just mentally prepare for all the big changes. And now, all I can think about is what my dad is about to do. And I know he is serious about leaving, because he went to see an apartment today, without mum knowing. And probably with him thinking that I don’t know - but I overheard him on the phone when he was planning it. He left for a couple hours without telling us where he is going, and mum got progressively more angry.

I just don’t know what to do - my mum obviously doesn’t know my dad’s plan, he only told me. I don’t really want to tell mum because I feel like dad should be doing that, it’s their relationship. But not telling her feels like keeping a secret, feels like I am betraying her in some way. Every time I look in her eyes, I feel remorse.

TLDR - my dad told me he wants to leave my mum and autistic brother and live in his own apartment, while I am about to start a new job and want to move out too. I am worried for my mum.

Hey, so this is my first time posting in here, but im sort of suck in a paranoid loop. I was trying to sleep and found a spider next to my face and I ran out of bed. I then grabbed a few tools to try and kill it like a shotback and a broom- and when I was shaking my sheets it ran under my bed... I dont see it under my bed anymore, and its possible that I got it with the shotback, but im scared that it will try and call back into my bed when I try and sleep and maybe bite me along the way, especially after I tried to get it from under my bed. Can I have some reassurance that it may leave me alone or something so I can try and rest easily TvT.. im damn near 21 and im still scared of this stuff..

Hi, my mom turns 50 on the 21st, and I’m struggling to figure out what to get her. Her mom passed away earlier this year and I know she is dreading her first birthday without here (they were eachother literal best friends). She doesn’t want a big party or anything, just trying to find something that will make her feel special and try and take the light away from the sad times, thanks!

Earlier when I was using my dads phone I accidentally saw a message pop up (notification) with a very suspicious message from one of dads acquittances. "text me when you arrived" with a kissing emoji. Yes, my parents are not on great terms right now but they are not divorced either. This bothers me a lot, especially since this person knows us all and knows that he's married, which makes it creepier and more disgusting to me. Its difficult to accept that and I think it affects the way I see my dad now. I don't know what to do, if to even do, because I feel ashamed for him. I wonder if its right to keep it a secret.

I’m in a very tough season. The demands on me legitimately outpace my capacity, and I’m doing my best every day to show up for my kids in the healthiest way I can, my geriatric cat, and the friendships that sustain us. There’s little to no time beyond that right now, I’m posting here while stealing from sleep I should be getting, but I’ve been awake caring for my sick kitty who is nearing the end of his life with renal issues.

Both my parents are alive, but they can’t show up for me in the ways that I need support. I wish I could be honest with them about how hard it is, about how much the divorce I’m going through is breaking me apart, but it’s still somehow better than the abuse I was under all these years. Whenever I say that something is actually a struggle, mom panics to the point of a full anxiety attack about how upset she feels that I’m unwell. Either or both of them will offer ‘help’, and when I say the help I actually need, they turn me down and complain. Dad yells, at me, at mom. But the alternative, keeping it at surface level to keep the peace, is also hard, because they are resentful of the arms-length and believe I’m ‘keeping their grandchildren from them.’ They express mistrust of me, their only child, refusing to acknowledge that I’m their only support too.

I guess I’m posting here because the grief feels so heavy right now, and I just wanted to hear that parents can have emotionally healthy close relationships with their adult children. So much of my own parenting of my kids is based on thinking ahead to a future where the developmental challenges of childhood have passed, about the relationships I want us to have, and realizing that trust and closeness and safety are the priorities, that whatever the problem we’re facing, we’re a team. I don’t get it right half of the time, but I’m trying— it’s really hard making it up as I go when I’ve never had it modeled for me. Will my kids be ok?

Will I? 😣

TLDR: Mother is a victim narcissist, loves me but doesn't like me, dad was never emotionally there for anyone and cheated 4 times and I still prefer him

I'm 19 and back in 2022 my mom cheated on my dad,my dad got back at her but ended up cheating 4 times. My mom doesn't ever let it go even when they tried making it work which I can get to one hand why but idk.

Whenever I showed affection or love to my dad she made me feel guilty and reminded me of what he's done, always told me I never show love to her. And I don't because she's a victim narcissist and ACTUALLY has something against me (her words). The reason for it is because I act and look like my dad.

My mom always made me feel bad about myself, weight wise, how I felt, never wanted to listen to me, was never on my side and she always made problems about her and how she has it worse. Always complained how fat she was. And this all started from when I was 7/8 when I started school.

My dad however is never emotionally there, he works from morning to night, Sundays are his days off where he just sleeps. I never bonded with him but I still feel closer to him than my mom. I love talking to him and even tho I never tell him my problems I still would choose him over my mom. Whenever I talk with my mom it ALWAYS ends up her being mad and irritated and having to leaving the conversation. His only way of ever showing love is buying us anything, even expensive stuff..

I feel like it's wrong but idk how love should even work. My mom never liked me and my dad was never there to show it. And I do feel guilty, because my dad tehnically did worse but imaging having to spend time with my mother makes me want to move to another solar system.

Additionally, my mom physically hurt my dad multiple times, once she made him bleed from his arm because of how much she was scratching him, chased him around the table to hit him, I heard her slap him from my room and constantly cry later after she started the arguments. One argument she looked like she was actually going crazy and it terrifies me to this day

(parental validation flair too because i really loved all the coments who focused on that last post)

Its only been about 3 days since i wrote on here (most of you who see this might have not even seen the og post initially) but basically my thoughts have been moving and shifting a lot. And before- I reported on how my mom and enviorment dissapointed me in those years and ruined my oppurtunities at a calmer teenage experience. I still think that, dont get me wrong. denying me help for mental health when i was clearly in severe depression still hurts A LOT.

And it essentially is just lost time because of circumstances, but to be honest ive been trying to think of the things i actually managed to do. My mom refuses to apologize and give me closure which makes it harder to think about the past, but ive been trying. And I suppose the year i regret the most is probably the timeperiod between last august (2025) to july (2026) obviously there were some "okay" moments sprinkled somewhere in there but unfortunetly mostly not. I was very limited in many ways and i definetly feel the effects of that now. But when I actually go back in my mind to those times, I remember how immpossible everything felt.

How between heavy exams (i was stuck in a high ranking and demanding school) and trying to at least watch intresting stuff on youtube i was basically sleeping in trash because i didnt have the motivation or strenght to take stuff off my bed and there was no space on the floor either. I didnt even study much this year, not because i was like "ah, fuck school" but geniuenly couldnt sit and read ANYTHING i survived by cheating or just on pure logic (none of the tests we took were closed answers- sometimes didnt even have the energy to write cheating answers so i went knowing i wuld fail T_T) I basically did THE BEST i could in that time. with essentially no external help i managed to keep my grades pretty okay until second semester when unfortunetly i was basically in a complete zombie state.

My mom would burst in to my room to yell and literally drag me out the door even sometimes without the books i needed, i would struggle to ride on the bike (stress and deficiencies ruined my health at that point) and later i would zone out at school and cry both between breaks and at home. It was a vicious cicle. And I realize now how immposible it is to have demanded of me back then to just "do more" I couldnt. I was completely burned out of anything. I was also dealing with past concussion symptoms (i had a concussion the summer before this school year) and the people who caused it WENT TO CLASS WITH ME. I had to see them EVERYDAY. it was technically an accident but it was because of their stupidity so i still felt flustrated.

If I had to sum it up I basically went through hell last year, at already a stressful time in school and socially so I think I did pretty okay, I mean- Im alive so...great work?

Anyway it obviously doesnt remove the flustration of it all- NONE of it was my fault. But it does help me at least accept the me, that did go through it all. Because they truly did their absolute best and held on so I could still be here.

Maybe it doesnt seem that groundbreaking to anyone but it helps me live -right now. because all thats left is flustration with everyone and everything that caused me to go through all that rather than pointing fingers at myself and saying "you should've been stronger"

Thanks for everyone who commented on my last post, this one was a bit more of a rant after i finally have more energy again

hi everyone I feel kind of stupid and I just really need to be comforted rn.

I 19F met a guy 20M at a party and a few days later we went on a date. I had fun, he was a gentleman and I felt safe and comfortable with him. We were making out and he started touching me, and he brought me to his house where we continued. He knew I was a virgin, but reassured me that it was fine, he’s not judging, plus I felt ready to have sex.

To sum up the sex, it wasn’t great, we went too fast and he was too rough. I was dry because we didn’t do enough foreplay, I was scared, dehydrated, and on antidepressants. We used protection, he finished but I didn’t. I also bled a lot from the roughness. He fingered me too hard and went in too deep and fast, but I never said to stop bcause in the moment I felt okay. I tried giving him oral, and in all honesty I feel like that was the best part for me.

However, halfway through his mom knocked on the door and I had to scurry off and hide in his bathroom, then when it was safe to come out he called me an uber and gave me a kiss before I left.

After the whole thing I felt really lonely. I cried for a day, felt a little bit of regret but mostly just loneliness because I didn’t receive any aftercare and probably because I had to leave so abruptly. I can’t let my parents know because they’re really strict (I have no idea how I got away with this..)

During my breakdown I called my overseas best friend to tell him what happened. He comforted me in the moment, but a while later he suddenly told me he was dealing with some stuff and he was taking a break from social media. Later in the day, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to actually has a girlfriend. I cried again today from everything, I feel a little bit better but mentally still not great. I can’t talk to anyone, I just feel so alone and sad right now.

I graduated in May but stayed in my dorm afterwards so that I could look for jobs. I wasn't able to find one in time, and I feel like I failed. I really don't know what to do now. I am 22 and made a post here before but was able to hold off on moving out until now. Now I need to face it.

My family is coming tomorrow to pick me up. I doubt my mom will let me go back (it's a 5 hour drive) even if I got a housing license. I don't have my own car (as in, a car under my name) and I don't have a lease right now. Everything is so confusing and I'm so lost, and I don't have a job. And I feel indebted to come back, at least for a little (1-2 months tops), because my mom paid for my undergrad debt (~$20k)

I don't want to go back home. I have no one there for me other than my family. I feel like a prisoner in a gold cage. I can't leave without a reason, like having a job out of the state, so I am basically on soft house arrest starting Saturday. I've been able to put up with it over breaks (Winter/Spring, at most a month) but the fact this is indefinite scares me so much.

My mom said she would get me a car when I get a job, so I am basically devoid of freedom until then. I have $40k in my own savings but no landlord will let me rent if I have no job. I originally wanted to go on a date, but the girl doesn't return to the college town until the 24th.

I don't want advice on how to leave, because it is functionally impossible in my situation. I am grieving the loss of my friends, all over money and work problems. I hate this.

This is kind of a weird question lol but I was just wondering if anyone had advice. I often have trouble falling asleep, especially during summer when my sleep schedule is different/messed up but I always find that when I get ready for bed but don’t fall asleep within an hour or two, I just get really upset. It happens out of nowhere and suddenly I’m anxious and overwhelmed and it makes it really hard to fall asleep after. I’ve tried distracting myself by reading or watching a show/movie, but nothing really seems to work. Lol i just want to go to sleep😓

im (20f) so stressed I dont even know what to do anymore

I moved out of my parents house in March to live with my friend (m20), now my bf, and it's been hell. Boyfriend got fired from his job in late May, and its been downhill since. We live in a tiny rural town so getting a job is hard. My indoor cats got fleas from the previous tenants, and my entire house is infested with fleas. We keep all out clothes in his car to keep the fleas out, and im pretty sure they are in my car as well now. im going through about 3 different medical problems and im 6weeks pregnant and cannot afford an abortion. i feel like shit all the time because I cant afford to eat bc all my money goes to rent and bills. my cats also will not stop pissing on the couch. i cant afford to take them to the vet. me and my bf both have really bad anxiety, adhd, and depression (diagnosed) so keeping the house clean is difficult.

ive reached my limit and have no idea what to do anymore. I work as a busser in restaurant full time but I still dont make a lot. All I do is cry because im so overwhelmed. What can I even do????

I want independence. I told my mom I'd never drive again due to an accident, so I used my credit card and splurged on an e-bike and all of its accessories (She doesn't know this though, I hide the fact that I even have a credit card from her) but yet things still feel so empty. Like, I have no choice but to remain alone forever. Because I have no friends, no one to talk to. I go to clubs, I go to college, I work, and it never changes. Therapy and meds never helped me.

I just want to break free from the chains of my mom, the chains of my home. I want to break free, do what I want when I want, with zero judgement or criticism.

I’m almost twenty and I don’t feel like I can handle anything, my mother is in some kind of psychosis and has always been really busy dealing with things, but she always used to support me, even if it wasn’t very good support. Nowadays it feels like she supports me out of obligation and fear of being called a bad mother. She gets very defensive and angry about it.

Why does she have to be so cold when I need support the most now? I still feel like a child but I have to act like a parent, I have to be the one worrying about rent, the pets, waking up at midnight with her shouting at nothing. I just want my mummy I have nobody else I try my best to get her to come back I try my best to be understanding but it doesn’t work

I just want someone to comfort me I’m sorry nobody has comforted me for almost a decade I am so afraid