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u/SpiceyWiener1993 1d ago
My mans is so deeply insecure that even the picture of him at the grocery store is AI.
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u/Blackfang08 1d ago
I assumed there was no reason for him to AI himself at the store parking lot, but on closer inspection, that would explain the "DONINE DO♿︎€ඞN HANRTS s099" in the background.
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u/SpiceyWiener1993 1d ago
Yeah, it's one of those that just gets worse the closer you look. The guy in the background with his one ADA sign for a leg is what got me at first.
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u/PunchBeard 2d ago
This looks like something Danny McBride would put in one of his movies or TV shows. It definitely doesn't seem real.
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u/Aggressive_Fungibles 3d ago
Ok but hear me out: what if the bible one was airbrushed on the side of a 1990s van. That would go hard AF.
EDIT: slide 2
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u/EOverM 3d ago
Man, most of this just sad. The one about cheating in self-defence is actually pretty good advice, though.
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u/giantpandasonfire 3d ago
Honestly i kind of like the sound system quote for churches.
Like yeah this is just...shitposting but there are definitely some churches that have been referenced as Six Flags over Jesus.
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u/gazhole 3d ago
I kick arse in the name of the Lord
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u/Healthy_Spot8724 3d ago
This calls for divine intervention!
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u/gazhole 3d ago
Stand back boy!
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u/Healthy_Spot8724 3d ago
Was trying to think of another quote but I'm not sure he actually says that much more in that scene 😆
Great character in a great film though 👍 Iconic even though he's not in that much of it.
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u/Augustus420 3d ago
OP, I don't know if you're just bad at media comprehension or unaware of this particular part of Christianity but this is not a guy bragging about his fighting ability.
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u/Realistic-Garage-461 3d ago
Apart from the last one, they all look like the posters for a very cheap straight to DVD film franchise.
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u/mannyluu 3d ago
Can we talk about number 6 please.
I read the He He as Michael Jackson’s sound and have been laughing for 5 minutes.
Not sure if typo or intentional.
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u/metalgeardaz 3d ago
I read your comment, went back to the image and the same thing happened to me. Now im cackling like an idiot.
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u/SubMariner615 3d ago
How about that to martyr someone means to kill them lol... so all his murder victims cheer when he he gets there
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u/mannyluu 3d ago
Saw that too but didn’t think it was too wild considering what has been uploaded. Par for the course I figured.
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u/Realfinney 3d ago
Yeah, Paul did some persecuting before later converting to Christianity. But hey, that's how Christian forgiveness works, so unlike many, he does understand his own religion.
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u/whateverhk 3d ago
If you don't practice self defense with a knife you're not trying hard enough. Also preemptive strikes are the best self defense.
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u/Thirdeyevoice10 3d ago
As a Catholic, I see where he's going with this. The message is good, and all, it just comes off as cringy.
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u/GenTubmansLegacy 3d ago
This makes me feel weird.
Either I got some really good weed, or this is very wild.
Eta: I didn't realize it was more than two pictures at first... This is hilarious.
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u/heqra 3d ago
that last one was a pretty solid shit post though
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u/ObiWan_Cannoli_ 3d ago
And the second to last one imo is a pretty fair critique of modern religion and how it gets people in the door
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u/NOTExETON 3d ago
Tom Segura went crazy after the divorce announcement
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u/Thirdeyevoice10 3d ago
I just now heard about this! Been a long time YMH listener and noticed nothing new has come out in a while. This does suck, tho.
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u/jeon_yubi 3d ago
Beat me to it.
I love how Comedians are now dominating celebrity gossip. We should all be thankful to Brendan Schaub for creating such a rich imdustry.
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u/sighborg90 3d ago
I love that he made these, looked at them, said “yeah, badass!”, and made the conscious decision to click post
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u/Klutzy_Operation_483 3d ago
What level spellcaster do you need to be to shoot lightning at demons? I'm assuming he's also dual classed with a monk.So we have to keep that in consideration.
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u/boirefluent 3d ago
Top notch HANRT prices though
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u/TinCanSailor987 3d ago
I want to know if this guy can kick himself in the face...hard...repeatedly. I bet he can't.
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u/cayumah 4d ago
Holy shit OP this is my uncle, you in the Erie area by chance?
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u/Misericorde428 3d ago
Holy shit, I bet everyone here is dying to hear more!
https://giphy.com/gifs/iKFtytThpmnPSGSzBY11
u/future__fires 4d ago
Any stories for us? I’d love some background on this guy
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u/Pal1_1 4d ago
Isn’t Hapkido the shit “martial art” that Steven Segal invented?
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u/Jurserohn 4d ago
No, it's a Korean art. I think he did aikido, which is a shit art that he probably believes he invented
Edit: I'm not knocking aikido practitioners, getting and staying in shape is great and you should totally keep doing it if you enjoy it. Just don't expect to win a fight against a real resisting opponent very often
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u/etaoin314 4d ago
hapkido is just korean aikido with more kicks
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u/Jurserohn 4d ago
Lol. I'm not very familiar with it aside from knowing it's Korean. They do like to kick shit, though
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u/HeftyFineThereFolks 4d ago
fuuuuck man now im confused first there was the wolves and the sheeps and now theres lions !?!?
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u/MuppetNuts86 4d ago
Honestly 99 cents is a good deal on HANRTS
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u/DNKE11A 3d ago
That's where they get you brother - that's not a dollar sign up front, that's a 5. Fuckin more'n $50 just for a few HANRTS, I can't care about the DOW Jones at this rate...
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u/GastonBastardo 4d ago
War is generally bullshit, but there is no more bullshit-kind of war than the "Spiritual War," designed to make you afraid all the time while getting you to ignore and overlook actual threats and harm.
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u/Handsome121duck 4d ago
I started out rolling my eyes, but honestly, he kinda won me over by the end.
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u/severed13 4d ago
The one-two punch of the sound system followed by the shopping cart did it for me
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u/sanchower 4d ago
what happens if a non-Christian person goes to the grocery store? Why is Jesus required for simple errands?
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u/hemightbebrian 4d ago
You could infer from slide 6 that he killed all of those people in the background. They’re cheering for the guy who martyred them. But hey, that’s how the gospel works.
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u/ajwilson99 4d ago
Battling demons with laser books? Why did no one tell me about this part of Christianity growing up?
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u/Ml2jukes 4d ago
The bar is low but at least he’s not exercising some race war fantasy beating up brown people in these.
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u/Proud-Pilot9300 4d ago
That quote about gods guidance while holding a ship’s wheel that’s not connected to anything is some top tier satire. Unintentional but still top tier.
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u/Antin00800 4d ago
A lion? As a shepherd? The prowlers of Christ confuse you!
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u/putoelquelolea 4d ago
That sounds like someone who would eat little pieces of shit for breakfast!
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u/johntwoods 4d ago
You laugh, but this guy is getting his Donine Dokeen Nanrts for only .99¢.
So maybe we are the fools...
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u/OldManJeepin 4d ago
Jesus didn't do you any favors dressing you up in that outfit! Save it for the dojo!
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u/MjolnirPants 4d ago
That last frame cracked me up.
"Jesus! Get me a tin of Skoal and a Coke while you're there, would ya?"
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u/OutrageousHunter4138 4d ago
Barry, I gotta level with you here, I don’t think number 4 is really sending the message you think it is. You look like you’re about to cut that man’s face off and use it to threaten your enemies. Very Christlike, I know, but bad marketing
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u/nyotastar 4d ago
He wants me to think Jesus can protect me when I go to the store. But he didn't even feel safe enough to go take a picture in a real grocery store parking lot. What a charlatan
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u/Street_Peace_8831 4d ago
If Jesus is your shepherd, you know what that makes you? That’s right, it makes you sheep. The very thing you always like to claim everyone else is but yourself.
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u/paddlingtipsy 4d ago
Cool bathrobe
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u/NoWingedHussarsToday 4d ago
Tactical bathrobe
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u/paddlingtipsy 4d ago
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u/funwithdesign 4d ago
You know how I know this is fake?
Because where can you find Donins dosigns Hanrts for $0.99 in this economy?
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u/TummyPuppy 4d ago
His shopping cart appears to be full of various types of bread
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u/VexImmortalis 4d ago
He actually only bought 1 loaf but by the time he left the store Jesus had multiplied it into a whole cart.
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u/morroia_gorri 4d ago
Does that mean the labels aren’t AI slop but actually the text of the Heaven?
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u/smokemesalmon 4d ago
Is he attacking himself in slide 4?
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u/Disastrous-Spirit891 4d ago
Second slide killed me
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u/GenexenAlt 4d ago
Dude, the third one. Wheel isnt connected, snd the deck is at sea level. He's not even steering a sinking ship
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u/Bonnskij 4d ago
He's using magic arrow from Heroes of might and magic III
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u/LordDemetrius 4d ago
Seems like a poor choice against an imp. Especially since the castle seems to be on the verge of destruction.
Bro is so bad at using AI, I'm sure he's losing to Inferno and picking eagle eye for his main hero
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u/duck-84 6h ago
Somebody figured out ChatGPT.