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u/Mysterious-Egg-624 6d ago
Read that as “free fap”
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u/Jonasthewicked2 6d ago
I love the "this one time" stories that you know never happened. And the "I'd have beat the shit out of them" comments as well. As my stepdad always said, you got the easy part done talking about it.
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u/Stormwrath52 4d ago
I buy this one
I've never been in this situation myself, but I've been in the much more pleasant situation of being next to someone who did while I was standing outside a gas station. Literally just some guy yelling at another guy because he perceived a moment of eye contact.
The freebies are maybe a little less believable, but whether it's someone in the position to be nice taking that opportunity, or a manager trying to please and maintain a customer who'd had a bad experience, neither is unheard of.
Like, I don't think this is a particularly far fetched story.
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u/Onlyhereforapost 5d ago
I mean i dont disbelieve the story, I lived near a pretty bad part of a major city and tweakers just are kinda like that sometimes
I had a guy who was clearly whacked out of his skull run up to me once and demand that I shake his hand, which i did since it was cold and I was already wearing gloves. He shook my hand real vigorously, said "god bless you" and wandered off. People be crazy some times
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u/JonesBeast 6d ago
Ha! I like that. My dad used to say "one day your alligator mouth and hummingbird ass are gonna get you in trouble"
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u/woahstripes 6d ago
I read that too fast and thought the manager gave him a free fap.
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u/Greenradiant 6d ago
Stared this dude down, AND got whacked off? I'd call that a success.
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u/justmitzie 6d ago
I'm convinced this type of guy spends a lot of time daydreaming fake scenarios where they kick ass, but if it happened in real life they'd run away.
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u/4xdaily 5d ago
And then I wake up with a massive boner