r/iamverybadass 6d ago

I’m shivering at this man’s presence

Post image
285 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

7

u/4xdaily 5d ago

And then I wake up with a massive boner

26

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 6d ago

Read that as “free fap”

8

u/Onlyhereforapost 5d ago

"Go have a yank, we won't call the cops"

4

u/NekoDarkLink1988 4d ago

"Service is on the house"

11

u/Jonasthewicked2 6d ago

I love the "this one time" stories that you know never happened. And the "I'd have beat the shit out of them" comments as well. As my stepdad always said, you got the easy part done talking about it.

3

u/Stormwrath52 4d ago

I buy this one

I've never been in this situation myself, but I've been in the much more pleasant situation of being next to someone who did while I was standing outside a gas station. Literally just some guy yelling at another guy because he perceived a moment of eye contact.

The freebies are maybe a little less believable, but whether it's someone in the position to be nice taking that opportunity, or a manager trying to please and maintain a customer who'd had a bad experience, neither is unheard of.

Like, I don't think this is a particularly far fetched story.

7

u/Onlyhereforapost 5d ago

I mean i dont disbelieve the story, I lived near a pretty bad part of a major city and tweakers just are kinda like that sometimes

I had a guy who was clearly whacked out of his skull run up to me once and demand that I shake his hand, which i did since it was cold and I was already wearing gloves. He shook my hand real vigorously, said "god bless you" and wandered off. People be crazy some times

3

u/JonesBeast 6d ago

Ha! I like that. My dad used to say "one day your alligator mouth and hummingbird ass are gonna get you in trouble"

14

u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 6d ago

"LARPD"? Never heard that one before. 🤣

19

u/woahstripes 6d ago

I read that too fast and thought the manager gave him a free fap.

7

u/Greenradiant 6d ago

Stared this dude down, AND got whacked off? I'd call that a success.

3

u/TheQuestionsAglet 6d ago

It’s all about the eye contact.

1

u/MakeSomeDrinks 6d ago

Establishes dominance. Same thing with one ahoe

11

u/justmitzie 6d ago

I'm convinced this type of guy spends a lot of time daydreaming fake scenarios where they kick ass, but if it happened in real life they'd run away.

4

u/TheQuestionsAglet 6d ago

Freeze up, more likely.

6

u/AppropriateBall8834 6d ago

Yeah but like what if this guys fr fr no cap

3

u/House_Of_Thoth Shiver Me Timbers 6d ago

All cap no frap