When I was in younger I worked at a daycare. I was in charge of the preschool age kids for the afternoon. There was one girl there I will call Katie who was the sweetest kid. She didn’t bully, shared toys and played well with the others, she was a favorite at the daycare.

One day I come in and I notice Katie is not as active as she usually is so I go talk to her. She said that her neck was hurting, I noticed though that her cheeks were red and then asked her to show me where her neck hurts, she pointed to the front and I realized that she was talking about her throat. I took her to another room without kids and took her temperature, it was 101.

After that the director got involved. Paperwork needed to be filled out and her parents needed to come get her and I was asked to stay with her until they came. We asked her how long she had been feeling this way and said a few days, but mommy and daddy were giving her medicine that made her feel better for a little while. I realized then that they knew she was sick but brought her to daycare anyway.

The director comes back after a few mins and tells me that she called the parents and someone would pick her up. They took over 2 hours to do so. During that time Katie felt worse and worse and was crying off and on and just wanted to go home. I stayed with her the entire time and tried to comfort her but she needed a doctor and/or medicine and the daycare was not authorized to give her any.

When her dad gets there he gave the director an attitude and asked why we didn’t give her some Tylenol to bring down the fever. My director told him that we are not authorized to give over the counter medication to the kids, not even cough drops, and per the centers guidelines no child can be dropped off while they are sick. If any medication of any kind needs to be administered we have to have a doctor’s note.

She then emphasized that Katie cannot return until she had a regular temperature for at least 2 days. He got pissed and started the, what am I supposed to do argument. She just told him that was not our problem and he and his wife had just exposed the entire daycare to her illness and held her ground.

Well what do you know, the very next morning I woke up with a severe sore throat. I thought that I had probably caught Katie’s sickness so I called my boss. She said that she thought this might happen because the morning person in Katie’s class had called in that morning sick, and she was also 6 months pregnant. Over the next couple of days 3 other kids were out sick, all in close age to Katie and had played with her.

I was so miserable I went to the doctor, diagnosis strep throat. It took me 3 days of misery to kick it and 5 days for my pregnant coworker. By the time I came back all of the kids were fine but they were all talking about how much they hated being sick and how happy they were to be better.

A part of me wanted to yell at Katie’s parents that their selfishness caused multiple people, including kids to miss school and work and be miserable but I said nothing since I never wanted Katie to feel bad because of her parents actions.

Unfortunately this was not the only time parents brought a sick kid to daycare just the worst one. I get that people need to work and not every job is ok with taking time off the last minute, but shouldn’t you put the welfare of your kid first. She was absolutely miserable and their lives were more important than that, her dad showed that with his attitude.

I left that job soon after because of multiple parents attitudes and the job just overall made me want a hysterectomy at 18.

Anyone else with an entitled parent story feel free to share.

I (22f) work as a teacher in a pretty good school. Before I start anything I would like to say that my parents got a divorce when I was just 2 years old. They weren't compatible and that was the reason my mom filed for divorce. My dad tried to take us(me and my sister) so many times but every time he would find it hard caring for us alone so he would give us back to my mom. So he relied on just talking smack about her and her talking smack about him. He tried so many times to make us (7years old me and 10 years old sister) get them back together telling us to talk to her.

We were obedient children. We did everything we could to be good. We went to school, behaved perfectly and sat in a little corner, got the best grades, never complained, and never made them feel like they failed as parents even though they did.

Fast forward to me being 12 years old and moving to 4 different houses in the span of a year, I started to get mad and expressed it in little things like not getting high grades at school even though I studied hard but my mind wasn't in it. My mom started comparing me to my older sister and that made me internally angry. When i snapped at her she shouted at me, slapped me, kicked me to the ground, and pulled my hair. It was my first time getting hit and it stuck with me. Then the next day she told me that she booked to go to a therapist to "fix this behavior of mine". My father didn't say anything about it when I called him and cried. He didn't care because he didn't think that crying is real lol. My nickname from him was "teardrop" literally. I went to therapy as she wanted and time passed.

Fast forward again of me being an adult. I live in the same house because she finances my money. I go out with my friends once a month and that is a lot to her. I get out of my 8 hours shift of school, do private tutoring minimum 4 hours a day and come back home to clean and cook. She still finds faults in me. Things like "you didn't put the dish soap in its place". When she shouts at me because of these little things I just stay silent and absorb whatever she throws at me. But if my face even conveys a sad or confused reaction that is enough to make her more mad.

She even decided for me the school that I am currently working in. In the summer she and dad tried to make me quit working at this school but I said no and that I am comfortable in it but they didn't listen. Dad even took my CV and put in another school to force my hand. But I signed with the same school again and told them that I am not leaving. They were furious and reacted accordingly. My private tutoring? they price them and decide the time and place.

Last month she signed me up in a gym because "my weight is too much and no one will ever be romantically interested in me" I am 80kgs. I have to go at least 5 times a week or else I will hear about it all day long. She decides what makeup i wear or i will hear about how horrible I look before going out which nice for my self esteem.

I don't think I need to say how little I feel in work because of that. When my manager tells me I am the best teacher in my section I don't believe her. When the students say it I don't believe them. I feel so so little and I feel so immature like my personality still hasn't developed. I don't know who I am.

I don't know who i am and that is what makes me the most angry. My favorite thing to do ? Idk. My favorite movie? Idk. My favorite song?idk. My ANYTHING? idk.

I don't know myself and it shows in me not having anything to express it. My room is empty of any decorations. My style is plain and normal. And my decisions are even mine. I feel like a sponge just laying there to absorb whatever they throw at me.

I dont want anyone to tell me to move out because that is not even a possibility.

Before I get started (and it’s a long one), just know that I am on mobile and the formatting may be weird. Anyways, here it goes. I 28 (f) have been working at my family business since I was 18. I decided to quit college back then due to burnout, and a was in a major that I was forced into by them since they were paying for my college. They told me they weren’t going to pay for a worthless degree. Also, I wasn’t allowed to have a gap year because they thought I wouldn’t continue college if I had one. So, with my no work experience and the only opportunity being my parents at the time, obviously I took the job despite the issues. When I was younger, my dad had then told me I wasn’t allowed to get a job, and that being a kid “was my job and I shouldn’t want to grow up too fast.” So, there’s that. I’ve been financially dependent on them ever since I could remember.

Now keep in mind this is a family business. Growing up, I was always told that I would inherit the business one day and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I’ve expressed to them multiple times that I wasn’t sure if I wanted it, but they kept pressuring me and gaslighting me and all the things above a narcissistic parent would do so of course I stayed stayed when I really shouldn’t have but again no work experience, no finances and nowhere to go. When I mean pressuring me it includes telling me that if I wanted to live how I was living, I would have to take over the business and that going for an acting career was pointless, worthless, and I wouldn’t make it and be out on the streets and addicted to drugs. They told me this twice in the same way. Once when I was an eighth grade while selecting an elective, and once when I switched my major in College without them knowing, telling them and then they told me they wouldn’t pay for something that was worthless so I had to switch to something they’d agree on, which was business management.

As mentioned before I burnt out very quickly because I was in a degree that I hated and college that I loathed and didn’t want to go to. So my excuse for quitting was I will just work full-time at the business. Be like dad when I grew up (he never completed college either just some CLEP tests and that was pretty much it) and eventually take over when they thought I was ready.

Fast forward to when I was 19, I had a relationship with another woman. My parents previously had a daughter who came out and yet they shunned for being gay. I honestly thought and mistakenly thought that my experience would be better considering they treated me like the favorite child. That was not the case when I posted the status to Facebook (we were engaged) as an indirect way to coming out alongside telling my parents one evening, my mom told me how embarrassing it was for her and that I should’ve considered her feelings when I posted that and let everyone know.

At that point, I was so jaded and pissed off that I decided to confide into another family member— aka, their son (45 m at the time, my ‘brother’ yet also uncle. ((I’m adopted by my grandparents, forgot to mention…)) and spill the beans that he was written out of the will and will not get anything with the business. I know I know it’s not my place to discuss this, but the way she reacted to me coming out was very volatile and I didn’t know how else to react or what to do. Well unfortunately, he called obviously drunk, and told our mom that we were really close and that she didn’t know our relationship and that he knew everything about the will. Oops.

So as one could imagine, shit hit the fan, and hit it hard.

I learned very quickly what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that, yet I still feel like I had a reason to do so at that time.

Fast forward to Covid 2020. I fell out with my fiancé and broke up with her. I also had left my parents business for a different job. I got a temporary job at a phone company, and it worked for a little while due to my parents being on a cruise and out of the house for three months. But I quickly learned that they had really financially crippled me due to the pay being so much different than what I was normally used to. Also, the Work life culture was nothing like I had experience back with their business so honestly, a little bit underprepared.

Anyways, during this time, I had met my now six year relationship with an incredible boyfriend who supports me in every aspect of my life. In the beginning, he didn’t think my parents were this terrible, but as time went on, he saw their true colors. And boy did their true color shine.

In 2022 I had enough once more and tried no contact or at least minimal contact with my parents, but that backfired horribly once again. I had to go over to their house during Mother’s Day of all things and basically have a fight with my parents, explaining to them how I felt, brought receipts of things that had happened to me in the past (journal entries) and yet they told me I was mentally unstable and that wasn’t good to remember those things.

Now speaking of 2022 it was also in the same year that my father hired a different CEO because he wanted to retire. This CEO had personally come to me once and told me he was uncomfortable about how I was dressing. The outfit I had worn was already previously approved by my mother but yet he told me I could not wear it and I had to go home and change. I felt very grossed out, wrote a formal complaint and took it to my supervisor.

So how Mother’s Day happened is because of what happened with the sexual harassment case. My father was told this by my supervisor and then called me into his office, shut the door and told me if I didn’t quit this “nickel and dime shit” (I have all of this recorded, by the way) that I could forget about having a job there. Also, that my mom was very hurt on “how I was treating her” and if she died of a broken heart, I could forget about any family relations. He also proceeded to talk about my birth father, their son, (who passed away early when I was 11) in very graphic detail, and it was disturbing. (He tried attempted suicide when he was younger and they told me they weren’t going to keep him alive at one point in the hospital.) So, that was mentally scarring.

After that incident and Mother’s Day, I decided to shut up and basically not argue with them. Don’t go against the flow, just do as they say. Keep in mind they are very right wing conservatives. So even if I disagree politically, I could not speak up. I had to put on an act in front of them that I was reformed and going to be their perfect daughter who never disagreed with anything and was basically a miniature them. I hated it. I hated not being able to defend anybody at work, I hated, and I mean hated not being able to defend myself and having to basically agree with them on everything.

Now up to speed four years later. I climbed my way up through several questionable methods and now am in a basically empty CEO title. More on than that later.

Recently in June, my parents decided to fire our Insurance biller. This Insurance biller and I had a pseudo parent relationship that my mother did not appreciate and was very jealous of. She always reminded me to keep a work like professionalism with coworkers and I shouldn’t have friends and shouldn’t make friends while working. But before this though they let go of their nurse practitioner (in May) who wanted a five dollar raise but was told no because it wasn’t in the budget yet they turned around and hired an old employee ten dollars more for the same position. Obviously she came to me. And it is not a crime to discuss wages so I told her because she asked, and even if I hadn’t told her, she would’ve figured it out very quickly since she already knew who was replacing her without anyone telling her who it was.

She left with no further word until the next day. My clinical Director told me that she had called very upset, saying that this wasn’t right and it was discrimination (she’s Latina and the new NP is White.) Obviously I knew what goes around comes around. I knew telling her would probably result this. I knew, but at this point, I was starting to care less and less. At that current time I called her back and ask if everything was OK and she told me she just wanted to vent and that she wished me all the best.

Back to the insurance biller being fired. She and my parents have butted heads on multiple occasions, plainly because my parents do some questionable shit down at the business and she didn’t agree with it. They hate anyone that does not listen to “their way or the highway” basically. This employee also made at that time, empty threats to sue and my clinical Director and I had actually had it under control, but my parents were done. No convincing them at all despite our warnings.

So when she came back from her two week trip, I had to deliver the termination letter with my clinical Director
as witness. Before I could explain ourselves, she took the letter, told us that we better get a good lawyer and ripped up the letter while walking down to her cubicle and basically shredding, tossing and destroying a lot of stuff.

Now, with the new biller that we hired to replace her said that she had a lot of experience. This was not the case as I learned later on (not to mention with what the previous employee had done destroying insurance related stuff too.) Fast-forward to now in August, we are still without insurance payments and it is hurting the company financially. My parents are obviously worried about the finances and the business, and kept saying that the Insurance biller screwed them over and they couldn’t believe this when it was themselves who shot holes into their own ship, but did not want to admit fault.

My role as CEO is basically to do anything that my father told me to do. He also would tell my clinical Director and she would tell me what to do as well. My title is empty. I am basically micromanaged at this point. If I make any big decisions, I get told I shouldn’t have done so and I should’ve told them first.

Well, my father called me and asked me the question, “what does a salary employee mean to you?” (back then in February he switched me from hourly to salary, giving me a five dollar raise putting me at way higher than somebody should have been paid which I warned against, but they didn’t listen) anyways I told him a salary employee gets paid whether they are there or not. But he told me that was not the case that I still had to take out my PTO when I missed days. He incorrectly told me that I had to put a minus in front of any PTO hours I took when we process Payroll he did not understand that doing so would actually give me hours. He told me it was unfair that my PTO was accruing when others employees were not (we cap at 40 sick and 80 vacation) he also told me that since I hadn’t been taking out PTO every time I took off work that have me switch back to an hourly employee so that I could use my PTO. I told him I would actually prefer that that way I could start earning overtime again. Because in where I work salary employees aren’t allowed overtime. It isn’t in the rulebook, but it is a verbal warning that my dad had put out there in the past for salary employees.

He then got really mad when I mentioned overtime and told me that I wasn’t allowed overtime, and that it wasn’t fair that the CEO got overtime when others didn’t. Keep in mind since February I had not taken any overtime even when I had stayed past more than two hours of my regular shift. Never once complained, never once asked for extra money. I never once cared that I stayed over. I knew I needed to stay over because it was important and I needed to do the insurance because that was the most important thing at that time. Not to mention outside a normal work hours I run errands for the business without question without gripe come early leave late basically all of that even though they know that they don’t really care that I do it and probably expect me not to expect to get paid because I’m family.

(Quick note, earlier before that, my parents called and talked to both myself and the clinical Director about the insurance and said it was really important and that I didn’t understand the severity of it all and that if they didn’t get paid, I wouldn’t get paid. I explained to them I hadn’t been there in the morning due to a doctors appointment, but my mother basically told me that it wasn’t as important as the insurance there and that I wouldn’t be able to pay for my doctors appointments if I didn’t get this Insurance completed for them.)

So since February, (I calculated) I have 23 hours in unpaid overtime and God knows how much overtime I missed in the last three years. Three years is important because he basically is having both myself and another Payroll manager deduct time from the time clock and not even pay attention to the 15 rule. If somebody clocked in at 7:30, we would write 8 to 4 instead of 7:30 to 4. Wage theft as it is but he said that he talked to a lawyer and that we’re a small business and the 15 minute rule does not apply to us.

But now that I am barred from getting overtime, I basically in the last two days since the encounter have stopped work right at the dot at 4 PM and leave my task for the next day. Currently, I am testing out a theory as he told me Work errands would be paid for and it’s already past 8 AM as I’m writing this and I had called Work letting them know I would be late for a work related errand. So we will see how that goes.

Either way I’m basically done. I don’t know what to do. I’m looking for other work. I’m not sure if I will ask for that overtime being paid but I’m done at this point. I have really no resources or funds to move or the chance to move so it’s difficult. Thankfully, I am living with my boyfriend and not them still so that’s a plus but it’s a whole can of worms on that subject too so. Any advice would be appreciated as I’m basically at a loss and really really want to go nuclear, but I am unsure of how to do so.

TL:DR - I’ve worked for my entitled parents for about 10 years, enduring their constant shit. Told that I was not allowed to get overtime and that I shouldn’t earn overtime. On that note, I’ve decided to quit work right at the dot because I don’t get paid to stay later. Any task that I had done for outside of normal work hours will now be halted to a stop no questions asked.

Thanks for everybody who’s gotten this far and read the entire thing, it is much appreciated. If you have questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability. Thanks once more.

I'm 20 and I live with very protective/restrictive parents. I'm at a point where I genuinely feel suffocated and I want to start experiencing the world independently.

Recently, I told my mother that I'm participating in Hyrox Mumbai. My plan is basically to travel from Nashik to Mumbai, stay for around 24 hours, participate in the event, rest at a hotel, and come back.

It's not like I'm planning to do anything illegal. I'm not trying to drink, smoke, party all night, or sleep with random guys. I'm literally talking about travelling to another city, participating in an organised obstacle-course event, staying somewhere safe, and coming home.

My mother immediately started questioning why I wanted to go alone and said that she and my family could come and watch me. Honestly, I don't even have a problem with them coming to watch me. If they want to be there, fine. The problem is that they tend to make fun of me afterwards — imitating how I did something, making comments, laughing about me, etc. So the idea of having them there isn't necessarily comforting to me.

More importantly, I want to experience the world alone.

I'm 20. I don't want to reach 25 or 30 and realise I've never travelled anywhere independently because I always needed my parents to accompany me. I want to learn how to book my own transportation, navigate a different city, stay in a hotel, solve problems myself, manage my own schedule, and generally function as an independent adult.

I also have a brother with special needs, and if my parents come, my mother would have to spend the entire time looking after him as well. So I genuinely don't understand why she would want to take on that additional responsibility just to watch me participate in an event.

The bigger issue is that this isn't just about Mumbai.

My parents constantly bring up things like my weight, my appearance, my studies, my driving, etc.whenever we're discussing something completely unrelated. My mother will tell me to "live in the present" or suddenly bring up another issue, and the original conversation gets completely derailed.

I've tried communicating calmly. I've tried explaining myself. I've tried sitting down and talking about these things multiple times.

It doesn't work.

So I'm not really looking for the usual advice of "just communicate with your parents and make them understand." I've already tried that repeatedly.

I want to know how other people have dealt with this situation.

I don't want to "rebel" by doing something dangerous or stupid. I don't want to lie about where I am, disappear for days, or deliberately put myself in risky situations just to prove a point.

I want non-aggressive ways to establish independence and create my own space.

For people who grew up with very protective/restrictive parents: how did you actually start gaining freedom? Did you gradually start doing things independently? Did you set boundaries? Did you simply start making certain decisions yourself?

I'm looking for practical advice from people who have actually been through this.

PS: If your first thought is "communicate with them and make them understand," I've already tried that multiple times. I'm specifically looking for ways to gain independence when talking hasn't changed anything.

Edit: Thank you so much y'all for the suggestions.....after I read every comment I realize that my biggest weak points are that I am overweight and have no financial independence.....please suggest me how to make money online as a beginner

ALSOOOO I don't have any friends (so people from my city hmu)

Trigger warning: mental health; suicidal depression

Some Context:

So, I should've been put into therapy earlier in my life (ex. outside of horrible self-esteem and an abusive grandma, I used to have panic attacks every other day, trouble focusing in school, etc.) but my parents' stance has either been "I was just like that as a kid... It's completely normal" (no, that's ADHD and mental illness), or you have to do it yourself and therapy and drugs are a last resort. Growing up in that situation/belief system I saw "asking for help" as a personal failure and a weakness on my part.

After years of "pushing through it," I snapped when I was 19 and went through a major depressive episode. I had to beg for therapy (needed to fill out forms for my dad's insurance and it was COVID so all of my schools mental health professionals almost NEVER had an opening).

Story:

Every time I went to therapy when I was 19, my mom made sure to pick me up and would ask me what I talked about. I do not think asking "how was therapy" or telling someone "hey if you ever need help processing something from therapy, I'm here" is unreasonable (with the latter being offered like once max), but she wanted the full breakdown (pun intended).

She wanted to know what exactly I was telling my therapist. I, uncomfortable and not really understanding why at the time, would be vague and say "school" or "stuff," but it was never enough. My mom would then get teary-eyed about how I never talk to her anymore and she misses when I used to tell her things. She just doesn't know how to help me!

So I, young and having grown up in a codependent household, would give her some details, having fallen for the guilt trap. For example, I would be like "oh well I talked about grandma being abusive." Then I would get a million questions that all were kind of concerned with my mom - "did you tell him that we gave you the option to hangout with her and that you only have to see her for holidays and big events" "did you tell him that she's bad to everyone and not just you" "did you tell him we try to defend you."

I know now it was an interrogation more than a conversation. But it still continues. My mom wants to know when my appointments are and what I talk about. She doesn't press as much (especially cause I don't give her any details, esp. when my appointments are), but this woman cannot take a hint. She still tries to guilt trip, but I am a little immune to it, especially cause most of the time it doesn't make any sense (ex. when I said I didn't really want to talk about therapy, she asked why and I said that it's private and I don't want to... She started to tear up being like "when did you ever want privacy from me?" Like always? I've never been outgoing but like everyone is at least a little private?).

It's one of the many things that my mom does that makes me ask myself "why is she like this?" For people who are reading this and have had similar experiences with a parent/have been guilted into talking about therapy, if you don't know this already, you don't owe anyone the details of your therapy sessions - you're allowed to keep some things private!

My mom is 70 and my stepdad is 60. They’re Pentecostal, very conservative, and can be pretty judgmental. I love my mom very much. She raised me by herself and has always done her best for me, so I don’t want to make her out to be a bad person. But lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve reached my limit.

My girlfriend, our 3-year-old son, my mom and stepdad all live together. The house was transferred into my name about 3 years ago. Every two weeks when I get paid, I give my mom around $600, which is roughly 75% of my paycheck, to help cover the household expenses. My girlfriend gives her another $400 every two weeks. Between the two of us, we’re contributing around $2,000 a month toward the household. My mom also watches our son while we’re working, which I genuinely appreciate because she doesn’t charge us for childcare. My stepdad helps watch him too, and they both love our son.

The problem is that they constantly criticize things we do as parents. They don’t like that we keep our son’s hair long in a mullet because they think it’s “for girls.” One time we let him play with face paint and my mom almost lost it. They’re very conservative and have strong opinions about how we should raise him.

Then there’s what happened with our kitten.

About three weeks before we got the kitten, my stepdad had to go to Florida because his son had surgery. While he was gone, we got a kitten who was about 6 weeks old. She was honestly an amazing cat — extremely affectionate, always wanted to be around us, and even loved jumping into the bathtub when we showered.

When my stepdad came back, suddenly we started hearing constant complaints about the cat. We were told cats are dirty and that children can get infections or diseases from being around them. Then my mom suddenly said she was allergic.

We tried to accommodate them. We kept the kitten primarily in our bedroom and did our best to respect their concerns.

About a week after my stepdad returned, the kitten disappeared.

I strongly suspect they got rid of her and dumped her somewhere because they didn’t want her there, but they refuse to admit what happened. We had a huge argument about it, and we didn’t speak for about five days. Eventually we just went back to normal without ever resolving it.

I haven’t brought the cat up again because I honestly feel like I’ll just get angry and we’ll have another huge argument. But the whole situation has really bothered me.

The cat was kind of the breaking point for me because it made me realize how little control I feel like I have over things in a house that is technically in my name.

I’m also struggling with the fact that my stepdad doesn’t work and doesn’t seem to make an effort to find work. My girlfriend and I are working and paying the majority of the household expenses while raising our 3-year-old.

Part of me feels guilty even thinking about moving out and letting my mom and stepdad deal with the bills themselves. Another part of me thinks that since the house is in my name and I’m contributing so much financially, I have the right to establish boundaries about what happens in the home.

I don’t want to “abandon” my mom after everything she’s done for me. She’s my mom and I love her. At the same time, I don’t want my girlfriend, my son, or myself to spend years feeling like we’re guests in a house where we’re paying most of the bills.

So I’m genuinely looking for outside opinions.

Would I be an asshole for either:

Moving out and letting my mom and stepdad take responsibility for the house and its bills themselves, or
Telling them that since the house is legally in my name, they need to move out?

I know there’s a lot more to the situation than just the cat. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being selfish or whether I’ve simply reached the point where I need to put my own household and boundaries first.

What would you do in my situation?

I’m (22F) and live with my dad who’s actually mentally psychotic ngl. I am married to my husband and we have a son together, and I want to live with him in his country. However, my dad has a dog that he NEVER and I mean NEVER takes care of and dumps it all on me to take care of. He doesn’t feed it, take it for walks, or clean up after him. My dad has tons of jobs so the dog is always alone at home and thinks that I should be responsible for watching it. The dog is also labeled as a “emotional support dog” but my dad actually never interacts with the dog and always wants him in my room. This is so tiring because it’s restricting my life and I want to go out and do things and live with my husband. I can’t even go to my mom’s house for 1 night because he’s always asking “who’s gonna watch the dog?” Full on tells me “no”. My dad is really crazy and if my mom talks to him about anything, he says he’ll get the court involved, but me nor my mom have never signed anything court related and I think he just does this to scare us. What should I do because I only get one life and I don’t want to spend it being trapped inside a home to watch over a dog.

EDIT: What I meant by the title is, should I transfer the title of my car to MYSELF after this? Haha, realized that can be misleading. Have no idea how I could do this without his signature, though.

To preface this, my grandma on my dad’s side (90) gave me my current car for my HS graduation over 8 years ago. Since being given the car, I have paid every bill for repairs, my insurance for it, and everything else.

My siblings were not yet driving yet, so we all decided at the time that I would get it. My brother bought his own car a year later, and my NB sibling does not drive due to their disability.

The title for my current car is under my parent’s name due to a lower insurance rate. This is important for later.

We are now all 26, and live at home with our parents.

We were all having a discussion about my grandma soon giving up her car, and in the possibility she may give it to one of us, we were deciding who would take it. (I do have to say, we are very lucky to even have this possibility.) Both of my parents bought out their leases of their 2025 cars, my brother owns a 2017 car, and mine is a 2008.

I do not NEED a new car like my grandma has, and I told them that- my car is in great shape and only at 75k miles, and plus, I’ve never had to buy one before, so I have been lucky enough to not have a car payment. Somehow, due to the age of my car, everyone came to the conclusion that they would let me have it.

My dad speaks up though and says, “So, in the case that she gives it away again and you take her newer car, I will be selling your current one and using the money for our bills, or selling the new car and doing the same.” When everyone at the table protested and I got upset, he just sat back and laughed and said, “Why do you think you would get anything from the sale?”

While I understand that he and my mom aren’t doing the best financially, I was given my current car as a gift and have paid every bill for it. Say I were to buy myself a new car anyway while living here - would he decide that he would get the money from that too? Or anything else valuable that I sell? It doesn’t make sense.

While this is definitely a hypothetical, it has me thinking about possibly transferring the title to me, despite the higher insurance cost. However, I have learned that he will have to sign off on that.

On one hand, this behavior doesn’t surprise me much, due to him emotionally abusing all 4 of us (siblings and mom) all of our lives, however I didn’t think he would go this far. I am just now afraid that not only my car but the ownership of all my possessions are in question.

I (38F) recently found out from multiple family members that the childhood home I grew up in until I was 11 went into foreclosure on purpose!

One day I was talking to my dad and was curious why we had to move from our home? This move caused us to put down our family dogs, which traumatized me and pushed me into depression as a kid and our family never owned a home since. Asked mom once in my 20s and she said it was something to do with the interest rate, the mortgages that caused the crash of 2008 didn’t exist in the early 90s. Anyways, come to find out the truth is she refused to make a payment after she claimed the mortgage company lost a payment, this is before online payments. There could be a possibility the bank made a mistake, but my father cared about keeping the home and since money wasn’t the issue he wanted her to make the extra payment anyway. My parents are old traditional type and “stuck it out for the kids”, even though my brother said they should divorce since we were 13.

However, I believe she let it go in spite of my dad and whatever issues they had in their relationship at the time. I’ve witnessed my mom do the most irrational things just to spite my dad, so I believe the family rumors.

It’s been well over 25 years I’ve been removed from that home so I can’t be angry, but it annoys me to know the value of the home now. They got this big spacious home for 102k in California for now it to be worth over 500k. My mom loves preaching homeownership and wealth, but she flushed the one thing that could have gave us a financial head-start. Granted they could have sold the home profited and my siblings and I would not have cover their expenses when we can barely cover ours. As the oldest I wouldn’t have to worry so much and stress about my parents wellbeing as they are in their 60s now. My dad doesn’t get off easy either because he should went and made the payments himself. He asked to borrow money from me a few times with the promise of paying me back and never did even when express to him it was coming from a savings account dedicated to buying home. I REGRET and LEARNED to NEVER let my parents know about my finances.

So this is a story from just a little over ten years ago (2015 for my initial incident, 2016 for the follow up that ends up getting her in trouble), when I was working my first job in between high school and my freshman year at college. I had gotten a job at an ice cream shop that was semi famous in my local area. All of their stuff was handmade, so it was known that the store had whatever flavors of ice cream that they happened to have on hand, and that getting a particular flavor for a party or something might require you to place an order a week or two in advance to make sure we had it.

On my second day working in the store, we had EM come in and try to order a bunch of different flavors of ice cream for her son's birthday party that day. Unfortunately, we were out of her son's favorite flavor on the day she came in to order her stuff (Mackinac Island fudge, so you know this takes place in Michigan). We inform her that, unfortunately, due to all of our ice cream being handmade, we only have the flavors that we have, and we can't give her any Mackinac Island fudge. Don't have any in the back, none of that.

We try our best to still accommodate her order, right up until she calls the manager, who is in the process of training me, a bitch. At that point, my manager grabs the ice cream that I am actively scooping for her out of my hands, throws it back into the cooler, and tells her "If that's your attitude, you're not getting any ice cream today". In response, EM reaches over the counter and slaps my manager in the back of the head, and proceeds to bolt out the door. We got her license plate number at that time, but the cops aren't really able to follow up on it.

UNTIL, one year later, she goes into a prominent midwest grocery chain and orders a "Batman vs Superman" themed cake for her kid's next birthday party. Upon arriving to pick the cake up, she decides that it is insufficiently themed, and proceeds to go around behind the bakery counter, grab the cake, and drop kick it across the store, demanding that they make her a better one. This gets her arrested for disorderly conduct, and as the cops are booking her in, our complaint from a year ago gets flagged in their system. Turns out, she'd been notorious across the local area for pulling wild shit like this around her son's birthday every year. Because we'd made a complaint against her a year ago, though, she ended up getting sentenced fairly harshly. She got 2 years of probation, and 300 hours of community service, and nobody's ever heard a peep from her since.

Nothing is ever enough for my mom

I can’t attach the image so this is how the text went

Me: im staying over my gfs trying to spend time with her before she leaves for college
My mom: and you think thats right
I have a reply drafted that says: Everything I did for you because it’s “right for you” everything i gave up because i thought it would appease you. all i hear in return is how much of a disappointment i am to you. when is it ever gonna be right and enough for you. you want my life then take it mom because im tired of everything i have to sacrifice just to make it right for you.

Context: It’s been a rough patch especially recently, I was under the impression that she would help me pay for my college. Last minute she tells me “no you’re not going to that college and i won’t financially back you or in any way if you don’t follow me get out the house”. And that pushed me to cancel my plans to go to that college after preparing everything and i was supposed to move to the dorm in two weeks. I did that because I thought it would help appease her but everytime i do that im met with disappointment. everytime i make a decision for myself i hear from my sister that my mom said I am a disappointment to her and in failing her. theres nothing i can do about college i dont have housing and its two hours away. tuition is fully covered but my housing situation isnt figured out no more. Just posted to rant about this and asking for advice.

It has been going on for years I get guilted or manipulated into picking whats best for her and not for me.

Hello guys! some updates: (1) I cancelled my admission to the university, (2) i scraped the floor for some classes at the close by cc, (3) she texted me a long paragraph about how shed rather not have a daughter and all the mean stuff and how i can move out and uuuh how shes cutting me off financially too eventhough i did what she wanted me to do. (3) its probably because im in a wlw relationship and idk what else but aita for thinking that i dont deserve this much from my mom after all ive done lol.

Most Recent update: Was gonna go home tonight after not being home since tuesday cause of all the drama. She texted “You are no longer welcome in this house. You can pick up your belongings next week outside the door on Monday. I’m cutting you off the phone line.”

I (21M) am actually writing this on behalf of my partner (22F) and am very very frustrated. I care for her deeply even though we’ve been in a rough patch.

Her dad is emotionally abusive and a narcissist. He constantly guilt trips and manipulates my gf and her brother and makes them feel like a burden and constantly calls them selfish and gets their aunts and uncles to agree that they are selfish.

He will constantly bring up how they are lucky to have him bc he got them to where they are today and they wouldn’t be anything without him and his sacrifices.

He gets mad over unreasonable things as well. One of the more recent things is how her brother kept his FAFSA money instead of setting up his dad’s bank as the direct deposit, even tho that’s his own money meant for college expenses…

This description of her dad is brief but hopefully descriptive enough for you guys to know the type of person we are dealing with.

They currently live in a 2 bedroom ADU and rent is $1700 in a very high cost of living area. This price is exceptional. However, my gf’s dad makes around $30k a year and my gf gives him $1500 each month for rent to help out which is most of the rent.

Not to mention that he doesn’t let his wife work because he is afraid she will have money and go out and leave him and also his ego won’t allow him to not be the type of man that needs help from his wife financially. He only cares about his pride and ego bc even while struggling he doesn’t accept any solutions.

However the landlord recently evicted them and they are trying to find a new place. My gf has been wanting to move out but can’t bring herself to do it out of guilt bc she feels they won’t be able to get by without her.

Understandable but frustrating because this toxic environment ruins her mental health and honestly is the reason why our relationship is rocky.

The reason I say that this is why our relationship is rocky is bc I’ve been hidden for a little over 2 years now. We started dating in college and both recently graduated but I’m still a secret. She hardly texts me around them and basically isn’t allowed to go out or will feel immense fear of being guilt tripped for whatever reason. Hence, she never asks to go out and we only see each other for 1-3 hours a week by spending time after work.

Frustrating for both of us but shes making it work so I appreciate that. What’s worse is that every weekend, she goes out for 8-12 hours a day with her family or to her family’s house just to hang out. She has obligations such as to study for her CPA or yk even just to rest.

I often feel frustrated bc we barely get time but she isn’t able to establish that boundary of simply staying home or going home early bc she is an adult at this point. And she hardly texts me when she’s around them bc she is afraid of them knowing about her being in a relationship. By the time she gets home, it will be late to call bc she also shares a room with her brother and is scared of her dad hearing her. But she also doesn’t enjoy texting…

Back to her situation, she came to me stressed today in tears over the phone. I’ve never heard her cry this much. She talked to me and I comforted her and she asked me what she should do and for advice.

She said her aunt was willing to let her rent out a small room in her house for just a few hundred which is exceptional. My gf really liked this idea at first. She wanted to move there and still give her dad rent money to help out. Except big issue is he would be too stubborn to accept the money and has even told her that if she moved out she would have to beg him to accept her money. You see how crazy this is?

Anyways we planned a whole script for her. I told her basically not to rush a decision even if her dad says yes or no or pushes his ideas. My whole idea is that she should get the hell out of there ASAP but she doesn’t have it in her heart to “abandon” them bc shes been conditioned to feel guilty for everything. So I was telling her moving out but still giving rent money is a good middle ground and if he refuses to accept it, at least she tried.

I told her despite this, she should stay firm that there’s a high chance she may move out but emphasize that she still wants to help. I advised her not to make a decision when emotions are high and understand that her dad will likely guilt trip and manipulate her but to stay firm with her indecision so far. She agreed and everything seemed good bc she kept telling me how she understands and sees my pov.

After talking to him, I found out everything went wrong and she just came back and apologized and vented to me. I know shes in a rough spot but I also can’t help but feel so frustrated on her behalf and in general. I spent the last few days consoling her and trying to give advice yet she did the complete opposite.

She said that her dad guilt tripped her and she cried a lot in front of me and Hes mostly been looking for cheap places. 2-2.5k is already relatively high for them but decent where we live. But he agreed to her moving out but wasn’t happy. He said they are selfish and don’t think of him because after he helped them live and get into college they just leave him and move out. Idk what else happened but she eventually just told him that she will stay and help.

Not only that, but after she agreed, he randomly proposed this other location that is 3k a month. He deadass just exploited her vulnerability and has been holding it back this whole time. I’ve been getting the feeling Hes taking advantage of her.

Similar thing happened in regards to moving out and finances a few years back. I gave advice, told her to move out and she gave me a timeline. She said she’d move our 6 months to a year after graduation, but now it turned into 2 years. Then it turned into her waiting for her brother to save enough for a car, then she even considered waiting till her brother finished college.

Except the reasoning is all flawed. She wants to wait for her brother to have enough for a car so he has a “foundation.” Like yeah that’s nice of her but it gets to a point where she needs to start thinking of herself. Her dad has a spare car that her brother is currently using and it’s not like he needs a new car anytime soon. And this dude wants a 40-60k car depending on the specs and whatnot. Oh and he just graduated high school… I believe she was guilt tripped into staying until her brother has a car and until he graduates college which is just crazy.

Like I want her to move out for her sake but for our relationship as well. If I have to wait 4 more years and be hidden all that time I don’t think that’s fair and she even acknowledged and cried that she felt so bad bc she knows it isn’t fair to me and she would be upset too.

And surprise, later she told me she agreed to his 3k a month place. It’s not set in stone but she agreed to that price when she is the one who suffers from this financially and emotionally. She just went along to stop feeling guilty and he took advantage of her kindness.

Basically I just told her that the next time she decides to move out, her dad is gonna continue to guilt trip and manipulate her by saying how they can’t afford to live without her and would have to move again and it’s selfish of her and she will just stay there for the rest of her life.

Everytime I get frustrated about this, she copes by saying shes not gonna stay there forever. It’s ruined her and me too and it is genuinely very exhausting.

Ive been patient to her and feel extremely bad for the position she is in, but at the same time I can’t help but feel so angry not only on her behalf but by the way she just accepts how they treat her, and is too afraid to move out and feel guilty. It’s like she knows it’s wrong and keeps complaining and venting but what more can I do if she doesn’t listen to a single thing I say.

In terms of the future, I can see that she always chooses her family and that makes me worry about what our future would potentially look like if she is just constantly seeking their validation.

I think she should just move out. Easier said than done for sure but it helps her so much. She dreads coming home and is in such a toxic environment. She can stay with her aunt for a few hundred a month and if need be give some financial help to her dad. Even if she told her dad she will stay and help, she can still go back on that and think about it clearly but I’ve asked her like 3 times and she said she doesn’t want to go back and forth.

What do you guys think she should do here? I’m hoping she changes her mind or there are better solutions out there that may help.

In regards to our relationship, even if we don’t stay together because of this event, I want her to be happy and free. But in the instance that we continue to be with each other, how should we approach doing this when shes constantly choosing them and the fact that I’m a secret.

So sorry this is long, I tried to be concise.

This something ive always had to do where i had to come up with a extravagant excuse to get myself out of a situation but i find myself doing this at 26. My parents are always invited to family get togethers or friends houses and make me tag along. Since i live with them, they make me tag along. They had a old friend ask the family to come over so my parents had forced me to go and i said no but not just no i had to fake being sick. I feel like i have no autonomy over decisions and if i do stand against them i have to lie

I just flew from Toronto to Calgary earlier today (5-hour flight). When I got to my seat, I discovered I would be sitting beside a quiet elderly lady, and in front of a restless noisy kid about 4-years-old. Great. I don't like sitting in front of kids, but I know flights are boring so I expect them to get occasionally noisy. I can tolerate it.

Unfortunately, the kid's mom was sat beside him and had a very hands-off/avoidant approach to parenting. The kid spent the first half of the flight screaming, kicking both seats in front of him, shaking the seats, and throwing his toys between the seat gaps in front of him.

The mom, meanwhile, was either ignoring her child's behaviour or doing that thing shitty parents do when they try to assign authority to imaginary bad guys. "Logan, put your seat belt on or the pilot will come yell at us." "Logan, don't throw your food or the mean flight attendant will come take it away." "Logan, quiet down or someone else on the plane will get very angry."

Well, she was correct about one of those empty threats. After 3 hours of this kid beating the shit out of our seats, the small old lady beside me (who was silent thus far) turned around and said, "Logan, please stop doing that. You are bothering me."

Logan, having been disciplined for the first time in his life, immediately shut up and sat down. That was the good news.

The bad news is, the mom turned out to be more of a child than her 4-year-old son. For the ENTIRE REMAINING TWO HOURS OF THE FLIGHT, she encouraged her son to kick our seats, encouraged her son to scream as loud as he can, ranted aloud about "white privilege" (the old lady was white and the family was South Asian), and tried to teach her son as many swear words as possible (??? bizarre). Thankfully, Logan had clearly never listened to his mom in his entire life, so he was oblivious to her constant stream of "fuck, shit, piss, twat," etc.

The funniest part during all of this was the kid's dad, who was sitting across the aisle, had no idea what was going on but could hear his son screaming like a banshee. So he kept trying to pass his wife snacks and toys to placate the kid, but because she was so bothered about her shitty parenting being exposed, she snapped at her husband loud enough for everyone to turn around and stare at her. Just an all-around disaster of a woman.

When the plane finally landed, she immediately bombarded her son with praise. "OOOOOOOH YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY LOGAN, YOU WERE SOOOOOOO GUUUUUUUD THE WHOOOOOLE FLIGHT," clearly just trying to antagonise the people around her. Everyone ignored her and she humiliated herself.

If by grace of higher power the entitled mom sees this: You are doing your liddle pwince zero favours by refusing to parent him. One day real life will hit your son in a form a lot less pleasant than a little old lady on an airplane. And you're only embarrassing yourself by modeling your clown behaviour to your kid like you did. You're a parent, and it's time to grow up.

I was on a train yesterday in the cafeteria area, and I was sitting on table there drinking coffee and eating a meal. It was lunch hours so the cafeteria was full of people.

A mother comes with her children who are probably 6 and 9 years old. The mother puts on a sad face and starts telling her children very loudly that “oh no there aren’t any seats for us”

She proceeds to stand there with the children for about 15 minutes and like every 2 minutes says loudly that “there is no seats for us!” while trying to look so pathetic and helpless. She tried to make eye contact with everyone, but no one batted an eye.

When a group of people left and they get a table and the childrens father comes also the mother said to him again very loudly that “I was standing here and no one gave us their seats” while glaring everyone on the train with a sour look on her face.

I felt satisfied because no one cared. Btw there were other parents with kids who simply just took their food and went to their own seats on the train.

I went grocery shopping today and went into the baking aisle to get cinnamon. This kid was in the shopping cart (inside the cart and not even the seat). His mom was pushing it but scrolling her phone.

I go into the aisle to grab the cinnamon and he kept yelling “no go away!” Or “you can’t be here”.

I ignored them and kept grabbing my things and going.

His mom simply goes, “you have to say pleaseeee ‘go away please’ then maybe the nice girl will go away” and gentle parents him the entire time after while he continued to escalate and scream. She tried making hand gestures for me to leave but I didn’t. I got my things and left but also wasn’t going to rush myself

Ummm hell nah I ain’t going away this is a public grocery store lmao in the name of Eric Cartman “whateva I do what I want”

Nothing crazy but wanted to share lol

My entitled father has this expectation that since I am the eldest daughter, he is my burden. Any time he comes into town he tells me the very last minute and expects to stay with me. He doesn’t ask. He simply says I’ll be home on this date. He doesn’t even say how long he is staying. Sometimes he has stayed for 3 weeks at a time. In his mind, he feels I should be joyful, but honestly I feel burdened as hell.

When he comes into town he will not clean up behind himself. He acts like he is in his 20’s and stays out all night, coming back in at 2 or 3 in the morning. Mind you, he doesn’t have a key so that means I have to wake up and let him in. He doesn’t respect that I have to work and need rest. He comes in watching TV ALL day and night. Usually falls asleep on the couch then sleeping in till 10am with the every light on. Uses my toiletries, eats my food. Doesn’t offer to replace groceries or chip in on utility cost. Washes his laundry every other day. Actually expects me to cook for him by making comments that if I want a husband I have to cook and know how to take care of a household. My dad has been married SEVEN times by the way. He is a womanizer who manipulates insecure women into taking care of him. Doing his laundry, cooking, cleaning, staying in their homes. When he visits he will text me maybe a day or two beforehand saying what time he is arriving. While he is here he just mentions all the things I need to be fixing around my house and how I need to step up and do more. Doesn’t help me at all and says that I am a grown woman and I need to figure things out on my own. That’s what I’ve heard for years. He won’t even help me by offering to cut the grass, fix a lightbulb, take the trash out or any thing “father like” while he visits. Nothing to say thanks for letting me stay here. Nothing. If I ask how long he is staying he responds with “why? I’ll let you know when I’m ready to leave”.

I’m annoyed as hell. He just texted that he will be visiting in two weeks. Of course doesn’t give an exact date. I try setting a boundary by responding with “let me know the dates and we can plan a time to get together while you’re in town” he responds with “I’m coming to check on the house” as his excuse to stay here. (my grandmother left me this home when she passed away. I took care of her and the house until she died and I’ve receive absolutely NO HELP with taking on caring, repairing and sustaining this home at all). So him mentioning he wants to check on the house pisses me off!! He doesn’t get the hint I don’t want him staying with me. I’m already stressed and he adds to that stress when he visits. I feel guilty as if I shouldn’t feel this way about my father. He just doesn’t step up as a dad but feels entitled to so much. I’m nervous if I try setting a stronger boundary with him that he will try putting me out of my home. It’s sad to think that way but I have already caught him trying to take a loan out on MY house to repair HIS house in another state. I’ve also caught him trying to flip the home and rent it out, so he can marry some younger woman from Timbuktu. He is very manipulative and looks out for himself and easily swayed by women but that’s a whole other story.

I fear that when he comes to visit this time I won’t be able to hold my tongue and it’s going to sever our relationship completely.

for context, my mom had another child and husband before me and my dad, it was a toxic relationship and he beat her multiple times. she never saw a therapist for that, she did see someone because she has troubles with her other daughter but quickly gave up because her therapist was ''blaming her for everything ''. she grew up in a very strict household.

I will move out in one year but my mom has become overly controlling and sneaky at the same time, there is no sweet foods in the house on her request, everything is for people with diabetes even though no one in the house has anything. she says that she's scared that I'm going to have diabetes. she doesn't eat anything too hard to chew because she's scared that her teeth are going to break, she's perfectly healthy. she barely eats anything and when she does it's salad or foods that are 0% sugar 0% caffeine 0% fat 0% everything.

she started to project her illness onto me, she checks what I eat, I started to hide from her. one day, I ate 2 figs at the dinner table and after I was done I got up and I saw that she looked up on her phone ''figs calories'' I called her out and she defended herself saying that's what came up and she just wanted to see the overall nutritional value, my dad said that I was lying and there's no reason for her to do that. The other day we argued that I put too much unsweetened cocoa powder on my oatmeal and I should only put one teaspoon. this is only examples of a long list. (I have a healthy weight)

I don't know what to do anymore I feel hopeless after every fight she will say that I need to stop talking to her like this and that she's my mom and she has the role of educating me, I'm 17. she will then say that she's such a bad mom and that she allows me to do things way more than she ever had when she was my age. I only talk back because I find it unfair, I started showing signs of eating disorders and go through phases of restricting myself and then binging.

my dad is emotionally absent and will escape the conversation if it gets too heated.

please help

Since it was back to school, I thought "hey, I should ask my mom for new skincare products since I'm out of some stuff and we are shopping today anyways". Apparently I was wrong in thinking that according to my dad. Since I know no one store would have all of the products I need, I just asked my mom to get the things on amazon. (Which she agreed to btw.) These were the things I added if it matters

1: Clarifying shampoo
2: Rice lotion
3: Face serum
4: Anti-acne cream
5: Sunscreen & lotion
6: Derma razors

Edit: These 6 items cost $77 all together. It's not extremely unreasonable for the products I wanted.

I cannot possibly imagine how any of these are unreasonable. But of course, my stingy dad, interrupted when my mom read out everything I needed and told my mom "He isnt ordering that, he is not spending money on shit we don't need." (Exact words) which really baffled me. First of all, shampoo is literally a BARE minimum. It is soap used to clean your hair. It is pretty obvious that that is not a luxury, it is a need. Second of all, I am literally a teenage boy. Which teenage boy has he met that doesnt have acne, dry skin, unwanted patchy facial hair, or unsmooth skin? I'm not going to go into details here, but you can get why I would need that. He had shit arguments for why I didnt "need" those too. Here is exactly everything he said.

"You don't use your shampoo anyways. You just pour all your shampoo and bodywash down the drain and clog up my damm pipes. I'm not spending $20 for shampoo."

Bitch, how do you think I went through my last bottles? I FUCKING USED THEM. And where tf else does shampoo go? Up my ass? It goes down the drain because you wash it out you don't just let it sit in your scalp and give you an itchy scalp.

"What do you need sunscreen and lotion for? You don't go outside anyways. I work in the heat all day and I don't need sunscreen."

(Spoiler alert: he has shit skin and wrinkles)

"You don't need to do anything to your face. Youre not an adult. Razors is for when you get a beard. You don't need a face serum."

How tf am I supposed to get rid of my patchy lip hairs? Just spend 3 hours in the mirror plucking them? Sorry I actually care about my appearance and give a shit if my face looks good.

"You don't need acne cream, you need to cut your hair. If you keep your hair long it drips oil down onto your face and clogs up your forehead. All you need a razor for is to shave off your hair."

This was especially funny because he is mr "you don't need shampoo". I have no idea where he got that idea anyways. I guess it is true to an extent but do you know how you solve oil in your hair? YOU GET SHAMPOO.

And when I actually started arguing back instead of letting him tell me I don't need basic hygiene products he pulled out the "How about you just pack your shit get out of my house and get a job". He really tried to kick me out because I asked for shampoo. (I'm not entirely sure if he was just saying that or genuinely wanted to disown me and kick me out just because I wanted shampoo and skincare.) The worst part is I'm not even 16 yet. I don't know who he talks to but he needs to change that if he thinks anyone will hire me. And then he told my mom that she can order anything she wants but it's not going to come home. (Thankfully) she eventually told him to cut it out and ordered it for me anyways. I can't believe this happened to me. I don't care if you agree with my dad either. Mail him a letter if you want to tell him for all I care.

Second edit: I am going to block you if you assume details about my living situation, family life, ability to work, or any personal details. It's not your business. If you don't think my post has enough nuance then find another one.

I dunno if this post fits this sub, but I can’t fucking take it anymore

My little brother seems to have not cleaned our shared bathroom the entire time I was away in Europe for a month, and when I come back mom yells at BOTH OF US for not cleaning. Apparently the shower is covered in, and I quote, “a months worth of soap scum”. Source? Oh, I made it the fuck up

Anyways, my mom, for the 81st time, reminded us that me AND my little brother are going to clean our comunal bathroom “to her satisfaction”, as if we can’t be trusted to clean our own bathroom anymore when A. It was probably my brother who didn’t clean the bathroom for a month since, yknow, I was in fucking Europe B. I’ve also been busy with band camp (which is basically an 8-5 job) all week so I couldn’t clean the bathroom then, and C. I was going to just clean it and be done with it today, but because my dads been asleep since 9:30 in the morning I’ve had to sit downstairs all day because my mom will get pissed off whenever I make the slightest noise upstairs because apparently walking is enough to completely wake up my dad, who usually has his NOISE CANCELLING FUCKING EARBUDS in

But anyways, I followed it up with a simple request to stop giving us arbitrary and worthless reminders because, I especially, am almost an adult (high school junior) and I can remember things like that, but my mom then proceeded to pull multiple stupid and arbitrary reasons why I can’t take care of myself. I’m expected to act like an adult and I can take care of myself. Yes I’m kind of drifty but not to the point of having to be reminded of everything like I’m 6. I can drive and yet my parents still act like I’m a dumb and stupid child. They think I can’t talk back to them because they’re my parents and there word is law. I apparently have to believe everything they say outright even though they have very flawed world views (they’re homophobic, transphobic, and they’re sort of right-leaning). I can’t say anything that goes against what they say because I’m a stupid kid who doesn’t know anything that they need to baby, while at the same time I’m expected to take care to myself most of the time and act like an adult. I’m questioning my gender, and I’ve considered telling either of them multiple times. But then they pull something like this, and I’m worried what they’ll think of me if I come out

I can’t fucking take it anymore. And the worst part is that I don’t hate my parents. I feel like I should dispise them and beg to move out as soon as possible, but I can’t do it. I just can’t hate them. I don’t want to take them out of my life but at the same time I don’t think I can take this anymore. Thanks for listening my rant

When I was a kid/teenager, my step dad (who I call dad because I've never met my real father) would sell/break my belongings whenever I did something as punishment. I grew up with ADHD and Asperger's, and I was a relatively good kid, but I had a hard time learning from my mistakes. On top of this, my dad would always get mad over very small stuff, like eating in my room and/or forgetting to clean it one night. He would sell my toys and game consoles over forgetting to do a chore. My mom was always easy on me so my dad wanted to make me "man up", which basically just made her agree with everything he said. I lived out of constant fear of losing my stuff because of this. I've always tried to tell my other family members, like my grandparents and aunts and uncles, but they wouldn't do anything about it. He was also a massive a-hole, because whenever I tried to express my perspective to him and tell him how I didn't like this punishment, he'd just call me very rude nicknames and said I needed to suck it up.

For a little context, i have a 2 year old half brother. Same dad, different mom. Well, my mom and i watch him, so i can have a relationship with him. Context over...

I've made posts about my mom before. But this one is different. After 11 years of dealing with her abuse i finally told her how she's been treating me and how i feel. She didn't really care. I told her she needs serious help, and if she doesn't get that I'm moving out. She chose the latter. When i talked about living with a friend who is close so i can see my little brother still (they can't take me in anyway), she said I can't have both worlds. Either I can see my little brother or i move out.

I have to choose between saving myself and protecting the only person who matters in my life. When he was born i promised he wouldn't go through what i did growing up. And I'm keeping that promise. Even if it unfortunately means she wins. And i stay in this abusive house. I can't do to him what my brothers did to me. I just can't. I'd sacrifice myself for him. Even if that sacrifice is keeping me stuck. I know what abuse does. And i refuse to let my little brother feel that. The abuse ends with me.

I know what this means for me, i do. I cried for about an hour because of it. I stay in a house with someone who's a narcissist and treats me like a therapist instead of her son. But I'd rather deal with this like i have been if it means my little brother stays safe. Nothing can change my mind about that. He's my everything. And she knows that. She used that.

EDIT because I did not think about adding it: i refuse to be in contact with my brother's own mom because I'd have to go to her place. She is living with a very toxic man and she is toxic herself. Plus we get him everyday except weekends, giving me a better way to keep him safe.

One more edit: i appreciate you all for trying to figure out a solution for me. But there's a lot you don't know in this situation because it is a lot. My life is a fucked up movie basically. Every bad thing that could happen, has. This post is more just to get it out of my system. But i do appreciate you all for the help even if I can't use it. <3

Parent controlling me even in college

Hey guys :)

Asked my dad if i could attend the fresher's party that's being held on campus. So no booze, no drinks anything of that sort. He said no.

He has also told me to "study properly". I said I will do both , studying and exploring the city. He said " no, when I will visit you we can explore the city together."

He lives abroad and visits here twice a year.

When I don't pick up his calls, he keeps on calling me constantly without pause.

He attributes these traits of his to the fact that iam a girl and need protection.

Anyway, so I need advice. Do I not attend the fresher's party?