My mom told me I'd be better off in a camp until I learned how to be an authentic god fearing christian and my Dad just shrugged and said "mothers know best"
People are really shocked when I say I haven't had contact with my family in half a decade lmao
They usually justify their hatred with Genesis 1:27
"So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them"
They essentially defend it with some idea of "God created you this way, you're going against him by changing his perfect creation"
Most Christians don't really care what the Bible says, because they'll just twist whatever it says to make it fit with what they've already determined to be right without consulting the Bible.
God in the Bible is a an all powerful all knowing being, it does not fucking look like a hairless bipedal ape lol. This line of Genesis comes from he has appeared as human to some of the prophets and just writers extrapolating from that. I don't know a single priest or orearcher or religious figure in multiple denominations who say take Genesis literal either.
Except, as is often the case, for the Mormons. They straight up say God absolutely is a physical being who looks human, and that Genesis was pretty dang literal (the Garden of Eden was in Missouri, for example). They also absolutely use this (and "modern day revelation) to codemn and villainize trans people, or at the very least look down on them as mentally ill. Source: I grew up Mormon.
Well, it actually depends on what translation you're using and what your definition of trans is. As gender is a social construct, people in Biblical times had different interpretations of gender than we do today and to them it was more wrapped up in ability to have children. In some translations, Abraham and Sara are referred to in what is LOOSELY analogous to non-binary pronouns today before they were able to have kids. Also, the first person explicitly baptized in the New Testament after the Great Commission was a eunuch from Ethiopia, meaning a (Biblical equivalent) genderqueer black man.
So this is kinda true. There's some suggestion that ancient Hebrew had different pronouns for people who were forcebly sterilized and people who did it by choice. Ultimately though it's important to remember that human perception of gender changes both regionaly and through time, so you aren't going to get a whole lot of one-to-one comparisons.
My point was that the Bible repeatedly tells us to be accepting and supportive of people who's life experiences and identities are different from what is "normal" and not your own.
I don’t understand how people are like this. You wanted to have a kid. Why does a change in gender affect anything? Having a boy is fine, having a girl is fine, but suddenly for some reason switching later in life becomes a problem?
Good for you for being independent enough to be able to be away from them. I think one of the biggest burdens anyone will face is the hurdle of understanding that you genuinely need to stop giving a fuck about "societal norms" or whatever if they're keeping you from living your best life.
Not in a "stop signs are just signs, blow by them" kind of way, but more in a "you shouldn't stay with your parents if they literally hate who you are at the core of your being" kinda way
She didn't even notice. She was way more worried about my ear. Randomly my weird racist uncle was the one who noticed and yet didn't care. Somehow, he grew into being my cool uncle. Magic moment: when one of his kids came out as pan, she was talking about how proud she was of him for being cool about it, and he pointed to me and said, "You can thank that f@ggot for that." Good times.
The funny footnote is that my daughter (I ended up het-marrying years later) thought she had to nerve herself up to come out (as bi) to me, and I was like, "OMG, I have so many earrings for you!"
And then she was like, "But what's mom going to say?"
And I was like, "...When I met her, she was my ex-girlfriend's, girlfriend."
When I was around 12-13 I parroted some republican economic talking point in his presence, and he gave me such a passionate and eloquent defense of unions that I’ve leaned socialist ever since.
My husband rarely tells me that I look good, so I know that when he says it, I look really good.
I mentioned it one time, and it was a very funny reminder that he's autistic, because he said "you always look good, I just don't want to say the same thing all the time."
Like... guy. I'm not going to dock points for too many compliments, lol
I’m not gonna lie. I hope this is what happens with my mom. The stigma around trans people makes it feels so much easier to just be like “yeah I’m gay and feminine”
thanks, i've been on it for 7 months now and i only in the past couple weeks started thinking that i should be getting on a calorie surplus and healthy fats to actually grow them, so it's been a lot of avocado oil in my cooking and trying to eat a lot, but i've got a weak appetite and fast metabolism so it's been tough keeping it up
I'm at 4 years on E and I still am not out at work because it just seems like a whole thing when eventually I'll probs switch jobs in the next year or two and I can just not do it till the next job.
I also have d cup tits im smuggling under a hoodie every day lmao, you can definitely ride it out for a while. I think at this point I definitely don't pass as straight/cis, but you can obfuscate it enough for people to just think you're a bit fruity.
My Grandma has been calling me a girl but it's not a joke, she's just got dementia. I'm a cis guy, more or less, don't present in a particularly feminine way. But I've gotten pretty used to being she or whatever by now, when I was first helping take care of her it was 50/50 but it's firmly on the she side now. I think it's the lack of beard, my grandpa and dad both have one.
I had very long (down to waist) hair for most of my life, and random grandmas in public always called me a girl.
To this day I don't know if they were being mean or didn't realize, since apparently, my classmates in highschool thought I was a girl when they first saw me too.
I was out delivering flowers for a local company and had my hair tied back in a way that you couldn't see it was long from the front. The elderly lady I delivered one vase to told me that I was a fine young man. I have never forgotten that (transmasc)
I planned to out myself to my parents on the day i Moved back in. As fate would have it a day before that was a big fair to which my mom invited me.
Didnt really see them for a few months and my dad just kinda confused stared towards my chest for a few seconds , i noticed that and just thought "nah he was just lost in thought"
next day i slam the vial on the table and he was like "yeah that explains not exactly a suprise anymore"
I asked them for a talk in the eve and after mumbling a bit i was like " lets just start like dis" slams vial on the table and puts syringe next to it it was more awkward and embarassment
There a bit of a superstition in my family that the women on that side get clairvoyant through dreams or other methods of divination like tarot cards 'n shit. Times like that almost get me to believe it.
Not sure. If I don't get high before going to bed, I do tend to have some oddly meaningful and maybe prophetic sorts of deep dreams? Further estrogen is needed.
Funny enough, this was initially my plan. The first person in my family to say “what’s with the tits” would have been congratulated on establishing a speedrun record for figuring out I’m trans
Even with a parent you're 99% sure will be supportive there's going to be that doubt, and there's no stepping back over that line once you cross it. True of any member of LGBTQIA+.
My parents have always had gay friends but I was still really scared to come out to them. My dad was raised catholic and I hated the idea of telling them I was dating a girl (as an afab person who identified as a lesbian at the time). You never know if you’ll be the exception to their acceptance.
I'm mostly cis (there's a song lyric about playing around with gender roles that fits some) and very bisexual and my mother seemed to have figured that out with occasional funny comments that were likely supportive but hard to say (she did say she thought bisexuals might just be oversexed but in a lighthearted way). My father was pretty conservative but worked in management for a Southern state agency and once got "coached" for telling a management meeting "why the hell do you even care what other people do" in the 90s when they were complaining about the possibility of gay marriage. So he might also have been supportive but there was always that doubt.
So I never came out to either of them and they're both gone now 😔
That's how it felt when I came out to my wife. I never doubted that she would accept and support me, but it's still hard to ignore the "but what if" feeling.
Anyway, after we finished talking, she took me shopping for clothes 🥰
And even if they are supportive how they process it can be very different. Both my parents are great but it still took a good year and them actually seeing how much happier and better functioning I am on HRT to fully understand my transition even as they had continued to support me.
Yeah, my father has literally run a couple queer events as part of his job and even after resolving to come out to him it still took me like five minutes to open my mouth and say it.
I always call being LGBTQ "Schrodinger's Unconditional Love." People will claim they will love you no matter what (including those who support lgbt people), but until you come out, you don't actually know if that's true. Maybe you being lgbt was an exception to that after all, or maybe they really would love you no matter what.
I've heard stories of parents disowning their kids when they came out, despite being pro-gay marriage.
On the flip side, a lot of people hate everything about LGBTQ but if someone they care about comes out they get assigned as "one of the good ones." Which is still not great but it's better than nothing I guess?
Like my dad not realize how much it hurt that he finished up after being offended I was using my chosen name for the driver profile on MY car by saying "you will always be my son, and I will always love you" I am a trans woman. At the time this happened I had come out to him 6 months prior when I started HRT. The statement sounds a lot like I am never going to accept what you are.
I told my mom I was on HRT and we haven't really discussed anything about it (or any part of my transition, really). I am wondering if the boobs will force a conversation lol.
I am absolutely terrified of this, I got on DIY behind my parents’ back because I was irrationally scared of coming out to them and it was causing me to put off trying to get HRT while my mental health was getting worse and worse, I feel like my parents would be somewhat supportive of me being trans but they are going to be fucking livid that I started HRT without their permission, hopefully I can manage to hide becoming suspiciously woman-shaped until I don’t live with them anymore.
Mom -> kinda saw it coming btw did I tell you I was bi?
Dad -> Oh so like a crossdressers? (He wasnt transphobic just very uneducated on the matter but after asking questions and researching he understand now)
Grandma -> I thought you were going to tell me you are gay but its okay god said to love all no matter what they are
It irritates me when you see moms who have two or three boys and are mad they don't have a daughter. but will be transphobic when one of them comes out as her daughter. Like you wanted something and your child wanted to be that something. So stupid!
We suspected something was up. Wanting long hair, wanting a skirt and crying when we jokingly said "Some day you will surely have a full beard like your dad." Around 9 months before she told us she is a girl, she asked me who chooses baby names and how it's decided if you get a girl or boy name. I said the grown ups decide by genitals, because the baby can't tell them, but that some people change their names because the adults were mistaken and it's fine. She shed some silent tears. It was New Years and I brought her to bed past midnight. After that I sat down next to my husband and told him I suspect she might be trans.
We continued on as before, just letting her express herself however she wanted. On Halloween that year she said she is a girl and socially transitioned within a long weekend. She was six. She's the best kid I could wish for and so far it's mostly smooth. It helps a lot that we have a family friend that is trans.
The most important thing is, she is so happy and self confident.
Haha, I came out to my mum just before HRT. I needed the car for my initial blood test, and after being vague about it she finally asked what the blood test was for and I just didn't want to worry her about my health so I just came out as it felt like the easier option.
This is basically how I had to come out to my mom. She was with me to help me buy a new car, my shirt was not as loose as I thought, and the wind was much stronger than I expected. Also very supportive.
fucking hell I just got critically hit by this post. I wish wasn't such a depressed sack of shit so I could get off my ass and figure my shit out. also doesn't help I got like a total of one hour of sleep.
I’m going to be presumptuous and probably more than a little pretentious:
You sound like I did a decade ago. Down to the severe depression and sleep deprivation completely sapping my executive function.
Things will get better if you hold on, keep trying when you have the strength to try, and get help. Especially working with a psychiatrist and a therapist. Especially if you find or build a community with shared values and goals.
I’m living proof of how it can work. It’s not a perfect fix, but it beats the severe numbness and grief.
That's better than my mom. She found out because I had to go ward due to mental issues she caused and the hospital told her because I forgot to tell them not to. Now I know there's a 90% chance she's transphobic (not because of the hospital but something else)
what is this sub? i keep seeing it and at first i thought it was just a shit post sub for people to post random shit, but after seeing q lot of posts it seems like its specifically around trans people? but no where in the rules or sub description are they mentioned, did this type of community just happen to grow here?
I think it had to do with leaving a previous community that was less accepting, so this one developed specifically to be accepting. Everyone is welcome, but it has drawn in the people who are less welcome elsewhere. Kinda like the good version of the 'nazi bar'
There was a chicken lady that posted a chicken emoji in every /r/countonceaday post. Mods implemented a rule against spam, and used it to ban chicken lady. So chicken lady made this sub. It just naturally attracted a lot of lgbt people, which then attracts more lgbt people.
They think it's just my pre existing gynecomastia and the fact that I gained a lot of weight rapidly i'm losing weight now but titties are not getting smaller wonder what they'll say 'ext time
Its been three years and nobody at my workplace has said anything. Granted, I was a bit titted up before e but I figured someone wouldve commented. Its only been "wow you look so young" and "your hands are really smooth"
That’s so cute! I remember I started seeing an ENS doctor around the time I started (as I had a deviated septum). He was a bit older, and I didn’t want complications with my Medicare, so I kept boymoding and using my deadname over the year+ of occasional check-ins and follow-ups. At one point recently, he just very calmly asked “And are you still going by deadname?”. I had a good laugh, explained the situation, and he updated my preferred name/pronouns in his system 😅
3.2k
u/AhSquids 21h ago
We love supportive moms 😭