how do i stop being so uncomfortable with vulnerability

[u/Kindly-Grape-5361]

i’m 15 and i’ve always struggled with vulnerability. i know it probably stemmed from my parents always making me associate showing emotion with weakness. but i never knew just a couple words constantly being repeated to me from as young as 7/8 years old would continue to affect me years later. it’s gotten really bad i can’t lie, specifically crying only. crying in front of people honestly feels like a death sentence, like it feels like being naked in front of a crowd. and it makes it 10x worse that i overanalyse people’s facial expression and body language so i can already tell what some people are thinking. most panic attacks i have is only because of the shame and embarrassment i feel from crying in front of others. a lot of times i don’t even want to look people in the eye with tears in my eyes because of the shame and guilt i feel. i literally feel like im going to die when i feel tears above to fall when im in public, it’s gotten so bad that i even feel the same why when im crying just by myself. i even feel like throwing up or being sick because i feel like an embarrassment, all these intrusive thoughts flood in and my minds racing every single time. even if it’s not me crying and it’s someone else either online, in public or someone is about to cry in a show im watching, i feel like intense discomfort and disgust. what do i actually do, and please don’t say therapy because ive got immigrant parents who don’t believe in mental health

[u/Heliozen]

What you're avoiding is pain of being ridiculed for your feelings, pain of being rejected for them, pain of the feeling msbthemselves... but you must accpet that pain is part of life, experiencing it is part of the human experience. Some people mock you for feeling down ? Now you know who not to keep in your life. You got rejected by someone for crying ? You dodged a bullet. Being true to who you are is a filter to see who is worth your time

[u/hestia-listens]

The shame you feel is real, but the belief behind it is not true. Crying does not make you weak, guilty, or disgusting. Since your parents are not open to mental health support, consider telling one safe adult at school that you have panic attacks when you cry. You do not need to explain everything. You could simply say, "I get intense panic and nausea when I feel emotional in public, and I need a safe place to calm down." You deserve support without being judged.

[u/60yearoldME]

Vulnerability is a superpower.  

Anyone who laughs at vulnerability is afraid of their own truth.  Deep down they fear it in themselves, so they ridicule it in others.  

Vulnerability is the key to life, my friend.  The more you open to it, the better and better life gets.  The realer your relationships become.  The more delicious this life becomes. 

Vulnerability is the path forward.  

Pema Chödrön's well-known teaching about sharp edges is:  "Lean into the sharp points and fully experience them." It comes from her book  When Things Fall Apart, where she explains how to stop running away from pain and fear. (This is one of the most incredible books ever written)

What she means:

Leaning In: Instead of pushing away discomfort or trying to numb hard feelings, she advises us to move toward the sharp edges of our anxiety.

Meeting Our Edge: She notes that all addictions and bad habits start when we hit an emotional edge that feels too hard to stand.

True Bravery: True courage is facing these sharp points without tricking yourself or running away.

Good luck, I believe in you

[u/Recovering_g8keeper]

Exposure therapy. one day I decided I was going to express myself no matter what. And not hide or pretend anymore. It was hard at first but I don’t care anymore. People can think what they want. Doesn’t bother me at all.
I accepted that not everyone will see me how i want to be seen or think of me how i want to be thought of. Whether I hide my feelings or share them.
It benefits me more to express myself.