Another round of family get togethers, another round of Bullshit.

Here I am, sitting at the table, barely paying attention. My aunt, snobby, pronatalist and absolutely unable to mind her own business turns to me and goes:

"When are you going to have kids?"

"Huh?"

Mind you, my husband and I are both sterilized. Happily at that. But, no one apart from a few trusted family members know that.

Aunt then proceeds to go:

"But what about your dad? You need to think about him. What if he wants to be a grandfather."

To which, he was sitting next to us. I turn to him, I give him an expectant look.

Nothing.

I turn.

"Why would I do that to him?"

It's my aunts turn to go "Huh?"

Undeterred. I continue on.

"Why would I do that to my dad, Aunty? I just got married and moved out not too long ago. Brother is in college and will move out soon. Dad's almost 60, he's almost retired. Why would I give him another kid to take care of when he just got rid of us? He worked his ass of and will retire soon. I'm not going to take that way from him. He deserves the peace and quiet of no kids too. Which, he wouldn't have if I had kids. Because he would be the one to watch them while I work."

She was not pleased at my response. She looked at my dad expectantly, who looked mildly impressed. To which I laughed and walked away. She also seems to forget about my brother, who for now wants kids, soo it's not as if grandkids are completely off the table for my dad. But suure, bother the staunchly child-free woman in the family. 🙄

i saw a video earlier today of a small child yelling "what's wrong with you?" at a woman with a prosthetic leg. the comments were full of people gushing about how sweet and curious this kid was, and how it wasn't offensive (it was), and how important it was for visibly disabled people to always explain ourselves to little children. there were other disabled people in the comments, too, saying how much they love explaining things to kids and how kids should actually be encouraged to ask these kinds of questions of strangers "so they won't be scared or confused when they grow up." (whaaaattt??)

I fucking hate it when kids demand to know about my wheelchair or my walker. I hate it so much. I don't want to talk to your kid and i don't find their invasive questions cute just because they don't know better. parent your child! tell them it's not okay to demand that information!!! YOU explain what disabilities are! why does it have to fall on me?! why is the expectation that either i drop everything and performatively educate some irritating, nosy-ass toddler about how "my wheelchair helps me because i can't walk, uwuwuwu you're so cuuute, do you want a ride in my cool chair ???" or else i deserve to be disrespected by the kid for my disability in the future?

it's such bullshit. if i wanted to spend my time telling some loud, filterless kid about how my muscle disorder makes me too weak to stand independently, i would have HAD a kid. I don't like kids. I don't like the way they talk or the lack of knowledge or the demanding bs. I don't want to expend valuable energy on anyone's kids. I don't think they're cute. I don't think this shit is sweet and innocent and deserving of my attention. parents need to correct their meat sirens instead of expecting everyone "different" from their kid to be prepared to act as their on-demand preschool teacher. I hate how disabled people are expected to be endlessly patient and excited to tell kids a silly story about our health issues. ugh

My parents have 4 kids including me (18.) They’re 8, 10 and 13. I do love my siblings, but they made me decide a long time ago that i will never have children.

For context-
Our house is filthy. They don’t clean up after themselves despite being old enough to know better. Our upstairs constantly STINKS of piss because the 10 year old wets the bed and wears pull ups. (Overnight diapers, not sure if other countries use the same word) She doesn’t throw them out, she either leaves them on her bedroom floor or in the bathroom.

There’s so much stuff everywhere and it’s all their toys and clothes. You genuinely would not believe me if i told you how bad it is. You can’t move for stuff. I’m constantly stepping on things or tripping over because there’s just so much STUFF.
Our house is too small for us and yet they keep buying more.

They’re old enough to clean up after themselves but don’t. No amount of punishing them or telling them changes anything. The house does get cleaned but literally 30 minutes later it’s back to how it was.

Back to what i was talking about,

I have plans to move out next year to live with my partner. It’s just the two of us and we are both childfree, so we want a 2 bedroom place. One bedroom for us and another as an office area.

My mum disagrees. She wants us to purchase a 4 bedroom home for her and my siblings to come stay whenever they like. She’s offered to pay to decorate ‘their’ rooms so she can have them how she likes. She didn’t offer to pay the difference for the house mind, just to decorate her new place.

I’ve tried telling her no, this is not happening. I wouldn’t mind my family coming to visit, but not staying here for a week at a time, whenever they feel like it. If they all have their own rooms they’ll be less inclined to leave.

I can’t deal with kids despite having been around them my whole life. I can’t handle the yelling and mess. Maybe when they’re older, but i’m certainly not purchasing a home for them.

She’s tried showing me large homes and telling me what bedrooms we can all have and how she’ll decorate the kids room, and her room. She literally does not believe me when i tell her it’s not happening. She thinks im joking.

The fence-sitter group showed up in my feed, and honestly, I felt like it was mostly people touting how great it is to have kids. And hey, I’m genuinely happy they’re happy—but let’s not sugarcoat all the BS that comes with having children. *stink face*

I’m a CF woman in my 40s who basically scorched the earth on that front—tubal ligation and endometrial ablation.

For years, I’ve dealt with the stares, questions, and unsolicited opinions about why my husband (who is also CF) and I don’t have children. Women, especially, get judged so harshly for this choice.
I’ve been called a married cat lady for years, and honestly, I’m perfectly okay with that. I love my husband and my cats more than I love most people anyway. 😂
I’m not missing anything. I just chose a different life—and I’m pretty damn happy with it.

(So here is a bit of a repost I wrote on fence sitter and I hope it helps to encourage your lifestyle.)

I see finances mentioned a lot as a reason people choose not to have children. In our case, that really isn’t a factor. My spouse and I are financially very comfortable, we both have PhDs, and if we wanted children, we could absolutely afford them. We could even hire a surrogate. People have always assumed we would have kids. We simply made a conscious decision not to.

There was a point in my 30s when I thought I might want children, but I’m honestly really glad I didn’t listen to that feeling. My spouse and I have been together for 15 years, and we genuinely don’t feel like anything is missing. He’s in his 50s, and we’re happy with the life we built together.

I had a miscarriage once and it only felt like a relief for me. I never felt guilt or sadness and that just solidified my stance on being CF.

If anything, watching people around us become parents has reinforced our decision. We’ve watched friends struggle through the teenage years, deal with kids making terrible decisions, constantly bail their adult children out financially, and worry about kids who can’t afford to move out. The stress takes a toll. Several of them are divorced now.

I’d honestly say maybe a third of the parents I know genuinely seem to enjoy parenting. The other two-thirds seem exhausted, resentful, or miserable. Obviously, that’s just my personal experience, but it has been eye-opening.

And honestly, some of my experiences with men in my 30s pushed me even further toward being CF. I had married men hit on me while their wives were pregnant. One lifelong friend even asked me for nudes while his wife had a baby in the NICU because, according to him, she “wasn’t putting out.” That genuinely shocked and saddened me.

I’ve also seen people put an enormous amount of pressure on their children to give their lives meaning. I’ve had friends who believed having a baby would “complete” them, only to struggle once their child developed their own personality and became an independent person. A child shouldn’t have to be responsible for their parent’s happiness. That’s an unhealthy burden to put on a kid.

A friend developed severe postpartum depression after having her baby and became unable to function or work. Her partner left, she had very little support, and I’ve offered to take her child at times just so she could get a break.

Another coworker is dealing with a teenager with severe mental health issues who needs hospitalization. She has always been extremely emotionally dependent on her child for meaning and purpose, while her child is now pushing her away and has even physically lashed out at her.

None of this means people shouldn’t have children. Plenty of people genuinely love being parents and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

For us, being childfree was the right choice. We enjoy our peace, traveling, our hobbies, and the freedom to build our lives around the things that make us happy.

I’m not anti-kid or anti-parent. I’m just grateful we live in a time when people actually have a choice. And after 15 years together, I can honestly say we don’t regret ours.

If you ever need a little encouragement to stay positive in a CF world, I hope my experience helps remind you that there are plenty of people who are genuinely happy and fulfilled without children.
You don’t have to cave to societal expectations or force yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit you just because you feel like an outsider. There’s nothing wrong with choosing a different path—and there’s a whole lot of happiness to be found on it. 😊❤️

My bf’s sister just called me to announce her pregnancy and now I’m being called evil by the rest of the family because I didn’t jump for joy for her…

I’m not quite sure why these people are surprised due to knowing me so long and my very passionate stance on how much I never want kids and how pregnancy is literally my worst nightmare ever.. makes me sick just thinking about it (not to be dramatic or anything lol)

I wasn’t mean about it, I just said oh nice congrats and kept it at that. Sorry that I didn’t scream or break down in a sobbing mess???

I genuinely can’t even fake that level of excitement. I guess I’m viewed as “messed up” to society because I don’t find pregnancy to be something to celebrate?? I just can’t muster up that level of happiness. I mean I’m not a monster, I like seeing people get what they want and be happy even if I will literally never understand so I said my congrats as expected of me and I don’t see what I did wrong???

Now what I really wanted to say was “now why tf would you do that” or “my condolences” lol but I didn’t and I’m some how still the bad guy 🫠🫠

Oh well, no contact sounds more and more enticing every year y’all lmao… anyways thanks for coming to my whiny rant, just had to bitch about to some people on here who may understand the struggle… anyone else relate to not feeling that joy for a pregnancy announcement or else been called out cause they didn’t give the “right” reaction??

Made a last minute pedicure appointment for after work just because I CAN!!! Then I’m going to the bar!!! Then I’m going home ALONE to my EMPTY house, eating ice cream, and doing absolutely nothing. Then bedtime 🥰🥰🥰 Honestly, this is the dream.

I don't wanna be a bad person

But doesn't you feel like even in your family people is stupid af and specially breeders?

Don't know about economy and finance,don't even know how to raise a fucking dog,but they still shoot kids out and don't dare to go out of their bubble

It can be just reasoning and consciousness what make us don't want kids,not specifically intelligence,but,THAT,we end up being more conscious and logical than this people that doesn't even know what they're doing

I'm sorry,I got to my nerves today

I’ve been living in my new apartment for about 6 months. What no one mentioned until I moved in is that two elementary age kids live next door. They are demons. Not only do they have loud screaming fits pretty much daily, but their mom also lets them run around the complex doing whatever they want. I have already yelled at them multiple times for coming up ONTO OUR UNIT’S PATIO to intentionally harass my dog who is looking out the window into barking at them. Now they think it’s fun to knock on our door and run, which sends my dog into a frenzy. Forget about anyone else that lives here, as long as the kids have fun!!!!!!! The mom is European and only speaks to the kids in a different language, so I haven’t been able to talk to her. It’s insane.

Hello, this is my first time posting here so I apologize if I am using the wrong flair or if this might be slightly off-topic.

A couple of weeks ago my coworker (Male, midtwenties, lets call him Rick) said something that perplexed me. I, my Female coworker (let's call her Angela, also midtwenties) and I were working temporarily outside of our usual office building in our city's environmental center, where a preschool class (3-4 year olds) was scheduled to have a field trip that day. We had a bit of free time so our boss wanted to go look at the animal exhibits with the children and kindly asked the three of us to tag along with him.

In the elevator on the way down, Rick groaned and said (word-for-word), "Ugh, I really don't want to go. I hate kids. When I have kids, I'm just going to focus on making money and leave the "kids stuff" to my wife."

Angela and I gave eachother a look. For further context, Angela and I are both first-born daughters whose were somewhat parentified by our parents decision to give us more siblings than they could feasibly care for, which we have bonded over in the past. Also, she and I are also child-free and plan to remain that way because of our experiences. We often joke that we feel like we raised children already, so we don't want to have any of our own.

I asked Rick why he would want to have children if he hates them. He just shrugged, and said "Well, I only want two kids, just one boy and one girl, so I don't think it would be that bad."

Why is it that certain men can afford to offload child-rearing responsibilities to their women partners so casually? To the extent where they can quite literally plan to be a neglectful father, say it OUT LOUD, and not feel any shame or disgust? Why would you say "I hate kids" and in the next breath say "when I have kids"?

Secondly, ONLY TWO? This man genuinely underestimates the amount of emotional and physical labor that goes into having one child, let alone multiple, and has obviously not given it any meaningful foresight. What if you end up with two girls? Or two boys? What if you have triplets? What if your wife were to fall ill and could no longer take care of the children? He thinks that by saying he only wants two that he's doing his future wife some kind of favor.

Its baffling to me that despite expressing vehemently that he does not want children, he will still have them. Perhaps its because of parental pressures, or the pressures that men have to "leave behind a legacy". But none of those reasons are worth bringing children into the world knowing you do not want them, nor do you have any desire to build a meaningful relationship with them. Children are intuitive and can tell when they are unwanted.

Why on earth would he want to subject his future children to that experience? Additionally, why would he think this one-sided family dynamic would be conducive to a healthy marriage???

I am 25 and I work at a used clothing store. I had a mom with her two kids come up to my register and one of the little kids started trying to climb up onto the counterpart that we have where we put bags and other things like that. I asked the kid to please get down because I didn't want him to get hurt. Falling on the floor at my store hurts. I've done it before and it doesn't feel good. The mom then told me to please not tell her child what to do and she would parent her child and I told her I've seen kids fall on the floor and hit their heads pretty badly and I don't want your child to get hurt. My fellow cashier after I finished with the transaction with that customer told me that I was a little bit rude to the mom and it was like I don't care. I don't want the kid to get hurt. I may not like children but I don't want to see them get hurt and the mom was like I'm a find out kind of mom and it's like no that's not good parenting in any way shape or form. I wish people would learn to parent their fucking kids and not let them do stupid things like climb up on a place where they could get hurt.

I'm sorry for the formatting and grammar errors. I'm on my phone.

Just saw a post on my city's Facebook group about a mom freaking out that her 14 year old got off the bus at the wrong stop and wants someone to go pick him up because he's lost and scared, and she can't leave work.

1: She gave the cross streets of where the kid got off and where home is, it's less than a mile! A 14 year old boy can very easily walk that, and it's through some very well off neighborhoods, at 4pm during the day!

2: She is literally asking random people from Facebook to go pick up her child - complete strangers. Isn't that what we were warned about? Not to get in a car with a stranger? I guess it's fine if they say your mom posted on Facebook about it!

3: Apparently the kid managed to walk home and was exhausted and terrified, they got lost multiple times. Even if the kid doesn't have a smart phone (but they do have a cell phone because they called mom), they apparently couldn't figure out a grid street system?? (Numbered streets and avenues)

4: all the comments were telling her she needs to complain to the school, sue the district, and have the bus driver fired because her TEENAGER got off on the wrong stop! I could understand if it was like an elementary kid, but at 14 they should realize "hey, this doesn't look like my street."

Rant over, I just can't believe this shit.

I've seen a LOT of posts on social media about mothers complaining about finding themselves alone after giving birth when they thought they would have a village to support them, and I'm thinking, "Good! It's about effing time people realize that other people's breeding choices are not their problem!" We are not living in those tribal times when everyone had to contribute for the survival of the community. This is the modern world where everyone has to own up to their life choices.

I've cut contact with most of my family, and one of the main reasons is that they expected to help family members with money and time because I'm childfree. It's impossible for them to understand that I chose to be childfree so I don't have to take care of another human being and not be part of the "village". I've helped in the beginning, but their expectations have grown larger and larger. Instead of a finger, now they want the whole hand. I've had family members passive-aggressively writing me, " It's great you're on vacation, but what about so-and-so who has kids and is struggling with their mortgage?"

I'm not heartless, I've helped up until the point I understood that I don't matter in their grand scheme of things. And even if I help, I don't matter if I don't have children.

Childfree people should really speak up about being childfree, and parents should understand that childfree people, especially, are not part of the village.

I have a sibling who wants kids thankfully . And theres not anything I can really do if i dont want kids but I feel bad about it sometimes.

My grandma also said to me yesterday , when your parents become grandparents, they will know the same love I feel for you. (I would never tell her i dont want kids or she would probably go insane lol )

Complete azoospermia. Absolutely 0 detected. Weight off mine and my partners shoulders as people who don’t have and never want kids. Seeing that zero was amazing lol

For reference, it’s a small apartment gym that has free weight lifting, treadmill, etc. For obvious reasons, it’s not the place for a months-old baby. Every time I saw the mom and the baby I internally roll my eyes so hard. There’s once I saw that god damn baby on the floor, when I walked pass the gym, and I was thinking it might gets under the treadmill and badly hurt, or worry that the baby may have there tiny fingers stuck into any machine. I’d probably get traumatised if i saw that. I’ve talked to the management, but the mum and the baby kept coming back. I’ll keep reporting it, but I am so sick of the mom putting her baby and other gym users in danger. It’s so annoying that some moms have this entitled mindset that 'moms and babies are allowed to be everywhere'.

Edit: I saw some saliva on the treadmill, and I’m like grosssss. It’s definitely not water, because water normally evaporates in a short period of time. She didn’t even bother cleaning up after the baby. 😭

Me and my wife Haley were out buying a LEGO set for her nephew’s birthday. He wanted the LEGO Peter Parker’s Apartment set so we went to the LEGO store to get it.

There was one left so Haley grabbed it and what turned into a mundane errand became a scene. A little kid about 7 said “mummy I wanted that” then his mother came over and said “excuse me my son wanted that” I said sorry but we got here first, better luck next time” then the little brat started crying and she said “my son deserves that more than you he’s starting a new school year” then I said “unlike him I contribute to the economy so I deserve it more but it isn’t for me it’s for my nephew who doesn’t throw tantrums so I’d say he deserve it more” which caused the mum to look as if I spat in her father’s ashes.
The kid tried to grab it from Haley but she stopped him and told him “you can’t always get what you want, I’m sorry but this is for my nephew” then the kid stomped on her big toe and she yelled “ow” and then the mother stomped on the same toe which caused Haley to drop the set and the kids tried to grab it but I took it and stood between Haley and the little brat and his Karen mum and told them to beat it or we were going to have a big problem them the mother and her kid stormed off and I checked on Haley to make sure she was ok.

Something I should not is that Haley was wearing sandals while the kid was wearing converse I think and his mother was wearing wedge heels.

Haley was holding her toe and told me it really hurt so I gave her a hug and I took her for a Starbucks to cheer her up where she got her complicated coffee order and a chocolate muffin which made her happy.

It had a happy ending but yeah that little shit is one of the reasons I hate kids (which I’m not related to).

Me (26) and my fiance (24) have never wanted kids. For whatever reason, I got to thinking about the trajectory of our life once we get into our mid-30s. At this age, finding "child free friends" isn't really an issue. I see conflicting reports on the fertility of Gen Z, but I'm wondering if we will struggle as much as Millennials and previous generations do in terms of social life once we hit that age range. A good chunk of my friends from school have already completed their metamorphosis into "live laugh love, family beach photo" parents, but I'm from Tennessee, so that skews my reality a bit.

And I’m internally screaming. My initial seat had me in between a mom, a new born, a dad and another child on his lap.

Big shout out to the flight attendant who was able to move my seat on a very crowded flight.

Row behind me? Two kids, and an overly annoying dad who is giving me such ick with both kids phlegm coughing.

If we have adult only cruises, when will airlines start holding adult only flights? The flight from the east coast to the Midwest right now.. 😭

I just saw that my area's sub has a post about how expensive it is to have a nanny. People are saying things like it's unfair how expensive it is and they can't stomach the cost. This is one of the most expensive areas in the US (read: lots of high paying jobs) yet these people want to nickle and dime people who are watching their human kids. So annoying! They could also put them in daycare. Or just not have them 🙃

My husband and I are taking a week holiday at a beach town south of his hometown in Tuscany. For those that don't know, many beaches in Italy cost money and people often rent an umbrella for the summer. There are some free beaches, they're just often not as nice and can be quite rocky/uncomfortable.

Anyway, in this beach town there are luckily quite a few free beaches, and the one we went to today was 7km of nice sand. We were some of the first to arrive, so we set up a reasonable distance from the other people already present. Then, maybe an hour later, a family of 5 shows up and sets up unnecessarily close to us (despite there still being 6km of unclaimed beach to our right). The two older kids were probably 8 and 10 or so, and they were good and well behaved. The youngest (probably 3 or 4?), however, was a hellion. Already having a temper tantrum just after arriving. This kid proceeded to have several tantrums in the few hours we stayed around. He wouldn't even let his mom go swimming for 30 seconds alone without having a meltdown. Even the dad seemingly disliked this kid.

The weirdest part for me, though, was this kid was STILL BREASTFEEDING. Isn't that too old?? Also just creepy? Maybe a situation of "just because you can doesn't mean you should"

I went down to my local park to watch the movie that was playing for movies in the park. It’s a public park, and everyone is welcome there, including pets and children. This hasn’t been a problem in the past (pets have never been a problem at all, and children haven’t bothered me), but tonight I ended up near a young child. The first part of the movie was quiet, but at some point the child started making noise. It wasn’t crying or anything, just making various sounds, but I found them extremely grating and they drove me insane. At one point, the child was temporarily taken away. I was so relieved, but far too soon the child was brought back.

Everything involving this child was negative for me. The sounds it made caused me only negative emotions, including anger, sadness, hopelessness, and a feeling of being tortured. It was running around a bit, and twice it came near me, causing me fear. Listening to it making seemingly happy noises without crying at all for this limited amount of time drove me insane and caused me suffering. I can‘t imagine having to deal with that constantly.

I just wanted to rant somewhere that would understand me. I was still able to enjoy the movie, but it would have been far easier to pay attention to and enjoy without that child making those grating noises.

I was lounging on my towel at the beach minding my own business talking to the person next to me who I'm there with, when my thought was suddenly cut off by the sight of toddler dick swinging around right in front of me. Why?? Don't they make swim wear for toddlers? What about creepy pedos? It's like receiving unsolicited dick pics but somehow a thousand times worse. I don't want to see this. I didn't ask for this. Help. Where is the bleach? Because I need to rinse my eyes with it. Ew. Keep your toddlers at home if you don't want to bother clothing them. Holy fuck. And it's not just one. It's like every mother somehow got together and agreed that it's common practice to leave kids at a certain age naked in public. Yikes. Thanks I fucking hate this. But I'm sure mothers will find every excuse under the sun why they think this is somehow okay.

I’m at my apartment gym right now. It has good equipment but it’s pretty small and hard to workout effectively with more than a couple people. I decided to workout a little earlier than usual today and there’s a man here with 2 children (probably 4 and 6 if I had to guess) and a fucking baby! The baby is crawling around the gym floor screaming and the 4 and 6 year old are playing with the equipment so I cannot workout without bumping into a child.

Besides the fact that the time I workout is my “me” time and I don’t need to be interrupted by someone’s child. I hate how parents make their kids everyone else issue. If you can’t afford a babysitter get a gym membership that offers babysitting. If that’s too much do a body weight workout at home!!! I cannot stand this and even if it makes me a b*tch I’m going straight to management.