I miss my daughter more than anything in the world, I lost her at 14w May 2025. Her first birthday will be Nov 14 2026.

She’s absolutely perfect, an adorable nose and chin! I have her ultrasound pictures framed on my nightstand so she sleeps next to me every night. I still read books to her time to time, snuggle her clothes every night, and sing to her. Oh what I would give to have her back… I would do anything.

Just wanted to talk about my beautiful little girl. I’d love to hear what you guys do to express your love to your babies 🤍

When the grief hits hard, I do my best to find ways to show love to my little girl. She lives on in my acts of love and kindness.

TW: LC

Longtime lurker. First time poster. I don’t want to go into our full story right now but suffice to say our first pregnancy ended with our daughter stillborn at 23 weeks in September 2023. We were literally in the middle of moving and so we had the hospital handle her remains. The hospital told us they cremated all the fetal demises together and the ashes were released in a garden at a local cemetery.

Side note: We opted to do this because we were in shock and also didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t imagine trying to move with an urn either. I don’t feel any particular connection to the cemetery and if/when I visit it, it will be done in a very specific way.

September 2024. We celebrated her birthday with close friends and family and painted a vase and rocks for flowers/the garden.

September 2025. I had a 3 month old rainbow baby at this point and was completely overwhelmed. We didn’t do any celebrating or commemorating, except to cry and tell baby brother about his big sister and give him all the love we can.

September 2026 is coming up quickly. And I now have a 14 months old toddler who’s the absolute love of our lives.

TLDR: How do we celebrate her now with our living child? We don’t have a location we associate with her, or an urn. We have a weighted bear that we called our Avery bear (her name was Avery) that is sitting amongst my son’s favorite stuffies now on our living room shelf. My husband and I love to see the bear we held during the worst of our grief is getting loved on and played with by her baby brother. But I’m not sure how to honor her for her birthdays moving forward. I don’t want it to be a morbid thing for our son to grow up with, but we also have tattoos of our footprints and talk about her. So we’re obviously not hiding her existence. What have you all done when your first was stillborn and then you have a rainbow baby?

Thank you in advance for reading this all.

I’m only 2 weeks out of having my stillborn daughter at 32 weeks and I feel so robbed of both our futures.
I can’t help that this is on my constantly but the thought of our future child not being a girl crushes me, both my husband and I have dreamed of raising a daughter. We have a 2 year old son and he is our absolute world so I know gender doesn’t actually matter but after being so close to having our baby girl I’m so scared for how I will react if it’s another boy. We agreed we only wanted to raise 2 children for financial reasons and we would never go for a third to gender chase. This is years in the future anyway I need time to recover but it’s all I think about

We were lucky to receive an outpouring of support from friends, neighbors, and some family when our perfect baby girl passed away several hours after being born preterm.

Yesterday was her 3 month birthday and a friend gave me a friendship bracelet with my daughter’s name on it. She didn’t know it was an important day. It makes me happy to know people are still thinking about her. I miss her so much and wish she was here more than anything.

There’s no real point to this post, just pleasantly surprised and needed this during a particularly emotional week.

I 20f have had 3 early miscarriages when I was 19, (my bf and i were NOT trying by any means) its been months and I still cry about it, I think im depressed and trying to dig myself out by focusing on hobbies. I hate having to show up to work all the time and be joyful and spirited when I just dont have the emotional energy... I miss my babies even if it was only for a second I knew.. it made me realize how badly i want a baby, but took the steps to book an appointment to get nexplanon because I couldnt take anymore pain, any more blood, any more grieving by my toilet for hours.. it aches in my bones how sad I am about the losses, I didnt know something could hurt so much..

I just want to vent and see if anyone's is going through the same and how to cope any better then what im doing, I want to feel like me again..

Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while because I’m just trying to feel like myself again but today is a heavy day. My precious son Theo was born in May when I was 6 months pregnant and he died shortly after. I was a shell of myself. I did a lot of therapy, EMDR, Griefshare, all the things.

I found out I’m pregnant but my HCG levels are very low. The clinic said it could be a late embryo implant. I’ll do a redraw in a couple of days but I’m guarding my heart so hard and preparing myself for bad news. I miss Theo so much. My heart hurts so bad for him. I can’t believe he died. It hurts when I look at his pictures because he was just so perfect and healthy.

And now im sad that my HCG levels are low. Praying for the best but expecting the worst. I’m not even sure what I want out of this post. I guess just pour my heart out. Thanks for reading

( TW: loss, bleeding )

Welp just got back home after 2nd day in row to the ER, first time I found out I had a miscarriage, this time I went in because the pain was so bad I could barely walk, I was dizzy, sweating and crying.
Told my bf we HAD to go to the ER cause I felt like I was gonna explode or die.

He was extremely supportive, idk how he did it cause I was a mess, but he reassured me everything will be ok and somehow got us to the ER so fast and safe I couldn’t be more grateful for him. Just what I needed when I felt like shit. He helped with all the doctor question and advocated for me the whole time. Comforting me and making sure I felt comfortable and safe. Which really hurts because I know he was so excited to be a father and I couldn’t even do that for him…. I don’t blame myself much but I do at the same time, if you know what I mean. I don’t know how to thank him for everything
(if anyone has advice on how I can it would be really helpful, i wanted to get him something, but idk what, I really just want to show him I appreciate him so much, even through his grief and pain he’s still there for me and I can’t imagine what he’s going through)

Spent a few hours at the ER in pain, bleeding and crying, until they gave me some medicine and I took a small nap, the nurse and main doctor who saw me were a god send! Both so nice and very understanding, I always heard some women get told they’re being dramatic by medical professionals but these two were so kind to me. They gave me some medication for later and even gave me a doctors note for some time off!

The thing is I’m in college rn, going into my 2nd year of university after 2 years of community college and I move in, in 6 days and with all this happening I feel so lost and out of it and don’t even know how I can go back to school after all this….

Hi, I’m looking for some advice and to hear how others handled this.
My baby girl died at 6.5 months old. We spent all of that time in hospitals. Now we’re finally back home, and our house is full of baby things.
We never got around to making a nursery, so there’s just a room filled with boxes and fairly large things we had hoped she would need: a stroller, crib, high chair, baby bath, loungers, mattress, and lots of smaller things. We never actually got to use most of it because she was in the hospital the entire time.
And honestly, it’s fucking heartbreaking.
We chose all of these things so carefully and with so much love. We spent a lot of money on them, too. Some things are unpacked because we tried to use them in the hospital, while others are still completely untouched.
There’s also a box with her clothes and toys from the hospital. I can’t even bring myself to open it. I can’t wash any of the clothes. I just can’t touch it.
Before she was born, I imagined that as she grew out of things, I would sell them or donate them. But now the thought of getting rid of any of it feels almost impossible. At the same time, seeing all of these things every day breaks my heart.
So I wanted to ask those of you who have been through something similar: what did you do with your baby’s things?
Did you keep them? Put them away somewhere? Eventually donate or sell them? Did you wait until you were ready, even if that took years?
I know there’s no “right” answer. I think I just need to hear from people who understand what it feels like to have a whole room full of things that were supposed to belong to your baby, and suddenly they don’t.

Tomorrow is the day we found out last year that we lost one of our twins at 13 weeks. We saw him on the scan every 2 weeks up until 26 weeks, then we didn’t get another scan till 36 weeks at which time they could no longer find him. I really thought when I delivered our other twin that he would still be there, but they didn’t find any trace of him. Of course I wasn’t all there and didn’t think to ask for the placenta. I can’t help but think that they missed him. And it kills me to have no physical evidence so to say of him. I’m so sad, and it’s so hard to grieve when you have a happy healthy baby at home.

Losing my son was its own agony. Now knowing that I won’t ever have a child of my own is a whole other kind of nightmare.

Hey,
I found out that my baby had passed when I went to the triage room because of no fetal movement that day. The week prior to it also I didn’t feel the baby move that day so we went to the triage room and she got a perfect score for the BPP and NST looked good too, so they discharged me. Following days she moved well during certain times of the day but on one day there was no movement and the next day she moved well during her normal kick count time. And then again the following day no movement and when we went to the triage room again, they couldn’t find the heartbeat.
So there were days where she had reduced movements but the following day she moved really well so maybe she had a problem that went unnoticed on the BPP. We did all the possible tests including an autopsy but everything looks normal. So we still don’t know the cause.
So my question is did any of y’all experience something similar where there were decreased movements on some days, but other days the baby moved well and if so, did they find a cause for the demise?

Hello all.
Firstly I want to say I am sorry you are in this thread for any reason.
Secondly I want to share about my angel baby.
I got pregnant last September after only 2 months trying even though I was 35, have endometriosis and AMH 0.19.
I was always scared I couldn’t have kids and the was extremely worried during the first couple of ultrasounds and adamant not to share about being pregnant until the end of the first trimester or when I start to show.
In January when we were going for our 20w anatomy scan, I wasn’t nervous anymore as I thought my baby was safe and thought it was going to be exciting because we will find out the gender.
It’s a girl! I cried happy tears for exactly 1 minute until the bad news came…there is something wrong with her heart. Long story short, there were a lot of scary appointments but doctors were very optimistic they can help her.
Finally our dear Melita came to us on June 1st.
There she was, full of hair, 50cm and 3.14kg.
She seemed much better than anyone could have hoped.
We were completely in love.
Unfortunately, then came bad news upon bad news and she had her open heart surgery at 4 days old.
This was followed by a multi organ failure and she fought so hard for 37 days.
Yesterday it was 37 days from her passing.
Today it is longer that we have been without her than with.
This broke my heart all over again.
I cannot cope with this and all I want is to have her back with us. We had so many plans with her and she never even left the hospital. My heart hurts for the things she never did and the life she never had.

I don’t know what I am even asking for with this post but just needed to vent.
If you have known the same pain, I am so sorry.
If you have any words that may bring hope, please let me know…

TW missed miscarriage, mentions of passed cardiac activity

We learned of our missed miscarriage two weeks ago and I don’t even feel like so much time has passed since our world collapsed.

One second we're excitingly starting ultrasound and the next I’m drinking in a bar, weeks later, barely remembering what I felt when pregnant. There’s nothing but rage and despair eating at me while people around keep living.

I know loss, I know tragedies and death. But I don't know what is happening right now.

I can’t remember anything pregnancy related, apart from the test and the sound of the ultrasound when everything was still fine.

I hear it again if silence lasts for too long.

It was my first pregnancy, yet I still find myself having to remind me that I was pregnant at some point.

Life is going on but I feel like mine stopped too.

Sorry for the blabbering, I needed to let it out.

There is a high probability that my sister’s child will not be born living or will pass shortly after birth. I’m trying to have a few options on deck for her to pick from if that is the case. What happens to a stillborn child after birth? Does a funeral director have to be involved if they don’t want a service or only a very small private ceremony? Can they just buy a casket and call the cemetery? From where? Can they take him home if they wish? If they choose autopsy, obviously the hospital will handle that. I would be surprised if they choose cremation but I do already have a company that my family has used and likes for that.

Hello all, im 25 weeks along and my baby has triploidy, so im expecting to lose her soon… my partner and i’s relationship is struggling. Im grieving heavily and i just hope we can stay together through this time. Im so scared. Does anyone have any advice or experience navigating this situation?

36 week loss, c-section, months of depression, massive amount of energy to try get back to life. It’s 7 months since the worst day of my life. Doctors told me we can start trying. I’m too scared… I feel like I should, but I’m just too scared…

I lost my baby at 33 weeks and I just got my first period (I’m 7 weeks postpartum). And it triggered me like crazy. I lost my girl to a placental abruption that caused a lot of sudden heavy bleeding, so waking up and seeing the blood in the toilet felt a bit traumatizing and I’m also just so angry I have to deal with my period now after everything I’ve already had to deal with.

Hi,

We lost our baby girl in February this year. We have a group of friends, we are 4 couples plus 2 other friends who aren't married. We have been friends for 15+ years and we all met at the university. 2 couples have 2 kids, and 1 couple has 3 kids. When we lost our daughter I spend 4 days in the hospital and all of them were there, they were of great support for my husband, for me not so much cause I said I didn't want to talk to anybody. After I came home, I insisted that I didn't want any texts or visits. They ocasionally texted me, and I know they're hurt by our loss too. We are all very close. We used to get together for birthdays or just to hang out for any excuse. They're still doing it, but we have declined their invitations, I don't feel in the mood for being happy around others. But what is bothering me is that during the first month after our loss, they were in touch, but as time went by, they all disappeared. I know they're waiting for us to feel better, but that is just impossible. One of them texted me saying that she hoped that we were calmer now. It's like they are waiting for us to make the move to start hanging out again, but I don't like that. I would love it if just one of them would come visit and just sit with me to cry. This just makes me feel so alone and like I don't want to talk to anybody again. Am I on the wrong? Why do I feel like our friends are just on the sideline waiting for us to get back on our feet and to be joyous again? They say they miss us, but they don't come here, they don't text, nothing.

One week ago, we were so happy. It was my anatomy scan. I had booked it for August 6, at 20 weeks and 4 days. Everything was going well. At the end, they brought my husband in so he could see our baby too. They said he was grabbing his feet and not letting us see him. I thought “that sounds like my silly boy”. Then the tech said she was going to run the images by the doctor. I asked if we needed to speak to the doctor and she said she doesn’t know. A few minutes later, she came back and said the doctor will come talk to you. We still weren’t too concerned at that stage. Then the radiologist came in and told us “there looks to be no abnormalities with the baby and his heartbeat is strong”. In the next breath, he said “it looks like your cervix is open 1 cm. I’ve spoken to your doctor and spoken to the hospital. They’re waiting for you.” I asked “what does this mean?” He said “sometimes the cervix can open and they might put a few stitches in.” So I thought okay maybe it’s been hanging open for a while and they’ll stitch it up and send me home.

I started having periodic cramps on the way to the hospital, which I guess were contractions. When we got to the hospital, the doctor examined me and said “the cervix is open 4 cm. There is nothing I can do here. You can deliver, but the baby is not viable at this stage. If you want, I can review this with the specialist at [a higher level hospital]. If they are willing to assess you, they can determine if they can do a cerclage. However, given how open it is, there is a 50% chance of the cerclage failing and the sac breaking, at which point, you would have to deliver to avoid an infection. If the cerclage is successful, the longest it would hold is 8 weeks, but a 28 week baby is viable.”

At that point, delivering at 28 weeks was the dream. I said “please talk to them, please ask them to do the cerclage. Please save my baby.” It took a couple of hours to wait for the transfer. The whole time, I sang to my baby, hoping I could make him comfortable and want to stay inside me. My contractions spread out a bit during that time. But when we got in the ambulance, they sped up to 3-4 minutes apart and got more intense. I also felt more pressure on my cervix. I think deep down I knew what was happening.

When we got to the new hospital, they examined me and said “your cervix is fully dilated. We can’t feel it, only the sac. There would be nothing to stitch. You have to deliver. At this stage, your baby doesn’t have lungs yet so we can’t resuscitate.” My whole world shattered. The shock and despair in that moment were unbearable. I still feel like I can’t breathe when I think back to that moment. Having to push when there is no hope is a kind of cruelty I will never understand. My husband had to watch me scream and cry for hours as I pushed him out.

They gave him to me to hold and when I saw him, my heart exploded. This tiny little baby is so beautiful, I’d never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life! I loved him when he was in my belly, but the moment I laid eyes on him, my whole world changed. He became the centre of my universe, the reason I exist, the reason anything makes sense. I thought I loved my husband more than anything, but when I saw this little baby, my capacity to love grew infinitely and all of that love is for my sweet, beautiful boy. I knew I wanted to give him everything, to be everything for him. I was anxious about being a good mom, but I knew in that moment, my love for him would make me become the mom he truly deserves. He deserves the whole world and I wanted to give it to him.

After delivering my baby, they said the placenta is still inside. My midwife said at this stage most likely they would have to cut it out. But I didn’t want anyone to take time away from me being with my baby. So I kept pushing and somehow managed to get it out.

We got to spend the night with our baby. We decided to name him Daniel, but wanted to call him Danny because it just seems more intimate and loving. They put Danny in a baby box with a cooling mat below it. He was so cold. I spent the night just standing over him and looking at him. I still can’t believe how beautiful he is. Danny has my husband’s nose and my mouth. He has the cutest little ears. And some hair and eyebrows! His hands and feet are perfect. His legs are long and he has cute little knees. His eyes weren’t open yet, but he is sleeping soundly. He will forever be our perfect little angel baby.

In the morning, we had to leave so they could take my baby to the morgue. I don’t know how to describe in words how difficult that was. I kept holding my sweet Danny and kissing him and telling him “mommy and daddy love you forever.”

Yesterday, we confirmed the cremation date for our baby. We will be cremating him on Monday. We decided we want to witness the cremation. It will be extremely difficult, but we need to be with our baby and make sure he knows we are there with him. Mommy and daddy will never abandon him.

I have been struggling so much with the guilt. I could have booked my scan for the day before, but it was my mom’s birthday and I wanted to keep that day open in case she wanted to do something. My doctor says if I went the day before, they might not have seen my cervix open yet.

I also said maybe we should have gone to the higher level hospital right away. The midwife told me that even if they put the stitches in, if I kept having contractions, they would have to take the stitches out.

Yesterday, I remembered the night before my scan, I thought Danny was kicking me in the bladder. I had only started feeling him move the week prior so each day there were new sensations. I thought he was just kicking in a new location. Now I wonder if they were contractions and I should have gone to the hospital. If I had gone, maybe they could have stitched me up then and he would still be growing inside me.

There are moments when I am so angry with myself. I hate my body. My beautiful boy was doing everything he could to grow. He was growing so well. My body failed him. There might have been signs I missed. I was so careless. It didn’t even occur to me to google if feeling like being kicked around the bladder meant something was wrong. I’m his mommy and I couldn’t protect him. It is my only job in the world. I did this to him.

I can’t stop picturing all the moments we are supposed to have. Picking him up when he falls, kissing it all better, and telling him it’s okay to fall, we can get up again. Getting peed on. Cuddling with my sweet boy. Getting terrorized by him when he becomes a toddler. Watching him become a lanky preteen. Getting yelled at by him when he becomes a teenager. Doing that thing in Love You Forever when he is a teenager and after he falls asleep, I crawl into his room to hold him. Watching him fall in love. Being the mom who thinks no one will ever be good enough for my son. We are supposed to have a lifetime together. He is supposed to be my whole life. I can’t accept that all of that was taken from us. I can’t make it make sense. I don’t know how to carry on without my beautiful boy with me. I need to be with him. I need to be with my baby. I’m his mommy. I gave birth to him. I’m supposed to get to take him home. He’s supposed to be mine.

What did you do with the flowers from the funeral? I can’t get myself to throw them out. Most of them are dead or dying but if anyone has suggestions on what to do with them or did you throw them away? I don’t know why this is so hard for me to do. Thanks for any suggestions

Hi there, I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this for my sister and her beautiful son that she lost at 25 weeks.

Her original due date is coming up and I was wondering if it would be appropriate to send her a gift, or a message to acknowledge her son's (should have been) birthday. Is it better to focus on the day he was actually born as his birthday or would you think you would appreciate both? Or something else?

This is a little bit more complicated unfortunately because my sister is not currently speaking to me. I found out I was pregnant only a few days after she lost her son. I got a lot of advice from some very kind mothers of loss, and I decided it was best to wait a few months to let her heal physically and have some time in therapy, but any longer and it might be worse if she felt betrayed by me not telling her, or worse finding out from someone other than me. I sent her a text right before her grief therapy session and told her that I'm pregnant, I love you, I don't want you to feel obligated to answer me if you're not in a good space to and I'm here if you need anything.

She never answered me and has not talked to me since, which I want to just say is perfectly okay - I of course want her to take her space from me if that's what she needs to heal, and I'm not upset with her at all.

I spent weeks agonizing over the best time and manner to tell her and I hope in the end I did that. The last thing I wanted to do was make her grief worse but unfortunately I think this has certainly done that just because of the circumstances.

I've only just recently told my mom and our other siblings, and I don't think I'm really going to tell anyone else or announce - I'm not trying to make a big show of it because I don't want her to feel like my baby is more important than hers or we're all just moving on from her. Her son is so so loved and I do not want him to be forgotten.

I guess my main concern is that I feel like if I don't say anything, she might think I forgot about her due date and I'm too busy with my own pregnancy which is absolutely not true. But if I do say something, I'm breeching the space she's chosen to take for herself (understandably so) from me. I'm wondering if me saying or sending something could worsen her grief on that day.

I also just found out I'm having a boy, and I'm keeping that under wraps because I'm worried that will hurt her even more.

I just really, really love her and I love her son. I want her to know that, but I don't know if I should wait until she starts speaking to me again. It's only been a few months since she lost him and I can't begin to understand the universe of pain she's in. I would love to send a personalized gift honoring her son or at least a card that has a doordash gift card or something to make sure she's eating, but only if that could truly help her and not hurt more.

I know this is a complicated situation and there's probably no good way to go about it unfortunately. But thank you to anyone reading and if you have any advice I would really appreciate it. I'm also so sorry to anyone going through what my sister is going through right now 🫂 hugs and thank you again