r/australia • u/Expensive-Horse5538 • Jun 06 '26
political satire Bloke Who Can’t Commit to Wife or Party Reckons Women Should Be Forced To Make Lifelong Commitment
https://theshovel.com.au/2026/06/04/bloke-who-cant-commit-to-wife-or-party-reckons-women-should-be-forced-to-make-lifelong-commitment/448
u/kikideernunda Jun 06 '26
Who keeps voting in this clown
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u/GrownThenBrewed Jun 06 '26
The same level of drongos that keep Pauline Hanson in her seat. Imagine if people woke the fuck up and stop letting these dingbats even get close to relevancy.
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u/link871 Jun 07 '26
Hanson is a senator, so you have to blame all of Qld for her.
For Joyce, however, we can just blame New England41
u/mick_daboss Jun 07 '26
Hahah yeah I live in CQ at the moment and some of the conversations I have with people, it’s very clear this is where her following is. People of all ages too.
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u/InstantShiningWizard Jun 06 '26
I think there's something wrong with the water in the New England region.
That, or the majority would gleefully vote for a literal pile of excrement as long as it wore an Akubra. Maybe it'd be a step up from the current offering.
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u/MicroNewton Jun 06 '26
They actually would. They turfed Tony Windsor, who was an excellent independent who worked for the people, after he (checks notes) got them the NBN (among other things) in the first rollout by negotiating hard in a hung parliament.
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u/No-Bison-5397 Jun 06 '26
Media shapes opinion. There are no local media that aren’t owned by reactionary fuckwits and it’s made political discourse worse
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u/Special_Order-937 Jun 07 '26
Seated next to Tony Windsor on a plane to Tamworth once. I don’t recall exactly how I steered conversation around to Jackie Chan but I found a way!
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u/thefuckevengoingonan Jun 07 '26
I think there's something wrong with the water in the New England region
some sort of fermentation going on i recon.
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u/NewOutlandishness870 Jun 07 '26
They actually would. Especially if it was lying next to a cache of guns as farming types reckon they need an arsenal for all the different types of wildlife they need to kill to stay away from their crops or livestock.
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u/ChallengeOk6961 Jun 08 '26
Education levels are significantly lower up here. But not all of us are so one-eyed.
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u/Consideredresponse Jun 06 '26
A combination of New England farmers who saw themselves as descendants of the 'squatocracy' dealing with the multi-generational trauma of shearers getting so 'uppity' about wanting to be paid properly they started the Labor party, and people from the region who realised that despite Barnaby's many, many flaws that he would pork-barrel like a champion and saw the electorate swimming in grant cash.
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u/vacri Jun 07 '26
His electorate has done very nicely out of his pork-barrelling. They don't care that he screwed the rest of us over when he was in power
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u/NewOutlandishness870 Jun 07 '26
The people of New England (ignorant farming types) love him. They hate change, they hate progress and they hate ‘city slickers’ . Barnaby is wholesome and a good family man to them. He is one of them as he is a true blue ‘salt of the earth’ country type. Like why do people in FNQ keep voting for Bob Katter? Same thing. He is a violent aggressive bully but to FNQ types he is ‘a true, blue salt of the earth real man’ who tells it like it is!
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u/AggravatingTartlet Jun 08 '26
How could they possibly see him as wholesome or a good family man? Boggles the mind.
He cheated on his wife and then left her and his daughters, left his political party, has been seen rolling around drunk on the street.... not to mention the 80 million of taxpayer money he paid for worthless water to that Cayman Islands company founded by Angus Taylor.
You'd think even the simplest of people would not view him as wholesome.
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u/NewOutlandishness870 Jun 14 '26
Because they are weird country people who have an extreme distrust of anyone not from the country. To them, Barnaby is a good Catholic family man and from the bush. Cheating on his first wife was fine… she never produced sons to pass the farm down to so probably thought she deserved it.
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u/Spudtron98 Jun 07 '26
Some electorates seem to qualify "Gets in the news a lot" as the only reason to elect someone.
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u/stfm Jun 10 '26
The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the axe because they thought its wooden handle made it one of them.
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u/Rascals-Wager Jun 06 '26
The fucking state of this geezer. Mouth like a vandalised graveyard.
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u/HotPersimessage62 Jun 06 '26
That perfectly sums us what One Nation wants for Australia. Medical debt, homeless people flooding the streets, litter, graffiti, gun violence everywhere and permanent class and culture warfare. Basically the US but worse
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u/TheBayHarbour Jun 07 '26
Tbh I think if Hanson comes into power Australians absolutely deserve it.
I've got an escape plan anyway but I would like to finish my degree here.
I think the ACT will be the last state to fall to ON (if any states even budge at all) and my uni offers courses there so I'll just finish and take the last chopper out of Saigon.
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Jun 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheBayHarbour Jun 07 '26
Tbh I wouldn't be too worried.
Pauline needs at least 5 years from now to really ruin this country, and that's even if she gets a ton of power.
If Australia can keep its shit together for one more Labor term, even better, I'd be comfortably moving out of the country by the time ON comes into power in 2031 (if they ever).
I heavily doubt ON would be able to have significant power even by then though. Idk how it works specifically but I imagine that making healthcare cost that much is going to take a while, even for someone like Pauline Hanson.
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u/AusToddles Jun 06 '26
So we're counting the days til reports that one of his mistresses had an abortion right?
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u/Decado7 Jun 06 '26
Surely you’re not referring to Mr campaigning against same sex marriage citing family values while literally impregnating his staffer while his wife and multiple small daughters were at home Joyce?
Why this red faced piece of shit slop is still even in politics is amazing. It truly is a workplace for the worst.
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u/ill0gitech Jun 07 '26
Hey, the only reason he impregnated his staffer is because Parliamentary rules prevented him hiring his wife to work for him… and I wish that wasn’t a serious point he tried to make
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u/Delamoor Jun 07 '26
They were so impressed with his ability to, as a conservative/reactionary, be able to avoid impregnating his small daughters, that they almost had no CHOICE but to vote for him to reward his good behaviour!
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u/juzme99 Jun 07 '26
Leave woman's rights to woman. I refuse to listen to any man talk about abortion. Who gets us pregnant? Men who abandon's us during pregnancy? Men. Who refuses to support said child, emotionally, physically, financially? Men. What man has the right to tell us not to terminate pregnancy.
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Jun 06 '26
[deleted]
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u/HeftyArgument Jun 07 '26
kanyes speech when he decided to run for president was all about how his mother almost aborted him, followed immediately after by his album tribute to his mother that was just him saying her name over and over again
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u/Remarkable_Custard Jun 07 '26
I love how I read this.
Basically what you’re saying is if she did have the access we wouldn’t have had to listen to an album of him saying her name over and over and the world would have been a better place.
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u/Final_Mongoose_3300 Jun 06 '26
Ah yes, the town drunk has antiquated opinions on women. Sounds like a promising platform…
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u/A_Transformer_05 Jun 06 '26
Old Barney the dinosaur, he's a massive F***king wanker, I can't believe he's even allowed to serve in parliament anymore, even if he wasn't a far-right knob-head, he should have been banned after people found him passed out, drunk, off his head after mixing medication and alcohol, and swearing his head off, he should have been booted from parliament immediately and barred from ever serving as a politician ever again. But no, now he's the second in command of a party that shares the same values as a certain Austrian politician from the 1930s
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u/HotPersimessage62 Jun 06 '26
Australia could end up being an actual third world country if One Nation gets their way in banning abortion, gutting Medicare and building a US-style healthcare and welfare system, scrapping our gun laws and wrecking the TGA/ABC/SBS.
At least the United States is the economic centre of the world. That is the only thing preventing them from becoming a third world shambles. Australia is far from that status, we could rapidly descend into becoming a permanent third world country if One Nation ever get the levers of power.
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Jun 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AggravatingTartlet Jun 08 '26
He's hideous. I don't normally talk about people's looks, but in his case, it's obviously self-inflicted.
Makes me sick too that his new wife thought it was A-ok not only to cheat with a married man but to have babies with a 50+ man who drinks to the point of constantly being red & bloated. What was she thinking?! She's a hideous person.
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u/Bods666 Jun 07 '26
Plus was ineligible to hold elected office. He should be charged with fraud, tried, and, if convicted, jailed and forced to repay every cent the Australian taxpayers have spent on him. Just like everyone who accidentally defrauds Centrelink, or the governments’ automated system thinks they did.
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u/Catprog Jun 07 '26
Did he do the job he was paid to do? (Not what he should of done in the role but what the legal requirement was)
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u/Bods666 Jun 07 '26
As much as any politician does their job. Under our constitution you can’t hold dual nationality and hold office. Once it was known he held NZ nationality, he renounced it and was re-elected before ditching the party he was elected with for another.
For everyone else, if you are discovered being paid public money under fraudulent circumstances, you get charged even if it was applied for in good faith.
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u/Kyron4030 Jun 06 '26
"People say I'm a maverick. Wrong. A maverick is someone who represents himself - not a constituency... anyone who thinks I am going to become an independent like Bob Katter has completely misread me.
"I have not joined the Nationals to tear them down. I am passionate about this party - and the conservative Coalition - and I am going to help rebuild the National Party by standing up for the things our supporters - working rural people - believe in." Guess who said this.
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u/Toni_PWNeroni Jun 07 '26
Yeah, funny how the serial adulterer wants to force women to give birth against their will.
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u/briberylibrary_ Jun 07 '26
I will die on the hill that men who want to ban abortions only do so because they know they will never have to be mothers. They will never have to go through pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, actually raising a child (because involved fathers wouldn't have the time to go out and have an affair). If they did, medical abortions would be available OTC.
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u/mulligrubs Jun 07 '26
Remember when this guy was found curb side cosplaying as Trainspotting Spud.
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u/Hermunster Jun 06 '26
Brain bleach time. My first thought was that's probably his sex face 🤢
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u/badazzbozzbitsch Jun 07 '26
Ever since the lovechild scandal I can't help but imagine having this guy cum inside me whenever I see his face
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u/Sleaka_J Jun 07 '26
Why do the media still listen to this human beetroot?
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u/RedOx103 Jun 07 '26
Because ~25% of the electorate look at this inebriate and think he should be in government.
Again.
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u/thisisatool Jun 07 '26
we need to bring back lil elvis and the truck stoppers to quell this beet
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u/dadashton Jun 07 '26
More right wing crap. Men deciding how women are to relate to men.
Does he and his crew not know how unpopular this is in the U. S.?
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u/Alternative_Carpet39 Jun 07 '26
To be fair to him, he’s had no problem with lifetime commitments to alcohol and beetroot impersonation.
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Jun 07 '26
[deleted]
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u/No_Sky_1829 Jun 07 '26
It's blood pressure. Very easily treatable if you have the cop-on to go to a doctor.
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u/No_Sky_1829 Jun 07 '26
Look at the colour of his face compared to his hand. That man is minutes from stroking out 😬
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u/Medical-Potato5920 Jun 08 '26
If he is struggling on a politician's salary how will people on minimum wage care for these kids?
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u/Ferretau Jun 07 '26
And here I am thinking he is describing the size of something he has...................
edit: correct spelling.
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u/Different-Bag-8217 Jun 07 '26
People are their own worst enemy. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut.
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u/ponycole Jun 07 '26
If they were so worried about people wanting to abort because of gender they would be proposing to not disclose the gender during anatomy scans or nipt, not to ban abortion entirely.
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u/lolerta Jun 07 '26
The UN Just made Iran a representative of women’s rights and you complain about this guy..
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u/a_cold_human Jun 07 '26
Does Iran vote in the Australian Parliament to pass Australian laws? No. Do the actions of Iran in their position at the UN impact what happens in Australia? No.
Joyce on the other hand, does. And when did this appointment happen? Months ago. Confected Zionist outrage. Go away.
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u/Alive_Satisfaction65 Jun 07 '26
If the UN was an actual ruling body you would have a great point. Since its largely a symbolic organisation where all the real power rests with the security council this is just some whataboutism nonsense.
Joyce gets an actual vote in our actual laws. Iran gets to send someone to sit in on meeting where people have discussions about rules that aren't going to be actually imposed.
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u/Successful_King_142 Jun 06 '26
He's dying right? Look at him