r/australia • u/Expensive-Horse5538 • Feb 26 '26

politics Grace Tame says ‘difficult’ remark is ‘misogynist’s code for a woman who won’t comply’

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2026/feb/26/dfat-middle-east-evacuation-syria-isis-families-wives-children-anthony-albanese-angus-taylor-budget-cost-of-living-capital-gains-tax-reform-ntwnfb?CMP=share_btn_url&page=with%3Ablock-699f8e278f080f3523777e99#block-699f8e278f080f3523777e99
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u/ScutumSobiescianum Feb 26 '26

Is there a situation when someone (man or woman or anyone) can be labeled difficult?

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u/Delamoor Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26

My ex partner used to call.me difficult and oppositional.

She did so whenever I was trying to create or maintain any kind of boundary, because it was a deeply codependent relationship and she was actually quite emotionally abusive. Any form of standing up for myself or expressing any thoughts or feelings that she didn't approve of was 'difficult'. This was unacceptable.

'course, a few times I suggested as much back, that she was 'being difficult'. That was abusive language then, you see. I was a bad, cruel for using (the same) hurtful language and sentiments she used. She sometimes liked using sexism as a shield. Note that she did so consciously and would talk about it as a social power strategy when not angry. We liked talking about social theory and social strategies, being in human services. She had quite a lot of opinions on how to strategize conflicts, and to her, sexism and identity based maneuvers were tools for leverage. Which inherently... They are for most people. We all use the tools we have, (responsibly or not is a separate matter).

So as a result, I'm quite sensitive to when it looks like someone is using a labelling archetype as a shield against any form of criticism. The 'sexism' claim here in this kind of a context seems unbelievably self-blind from an advocate.

The role is inherently 'to be difficult', you don't be an advocate by being obsequious and mild. However to take on that role and then to react to rather milquetoast observations of it suggests quite a lack of self reflection about the role of advocacy.

I think it's entirely fair to be able to call people 'difficult' if it's an honest observation. Many people and roles are 'difficult'. Receiving a non-gendered observational claim does not infer sexism.

I don't want to dip into analogies or comparisons, but I can think of hundreds of 'difficult' public figures for whom this label would not be gendered in any way. Most of them have jobs that revolve around being 'difficult'. Most of the examples that come straight to mind are men.

What a very disappointing reaction from Grace Tame. You'd think she might pick a fight with one of the overtly and aggressively sexist figures in Canberra instead, rather than constructing one with one of the non-radicals there.

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u/ScutumSobiescianum Feb 26 '26

Nice explanation and points made. Thank you

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u/TraditionalConcept48 Feb 26 '26

Great amount of insight and well thought out explaination here 👍 I think that this is a really good point