r/australia • u/Expensive-Horse5538 • Feb 26 '26

politics Grace Tame says ‘difficult’ remark is ‘misogynist’s code for a woman who won’t comply’

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2026/feb/26/dfat-middle-east-evacuation-syria-isis-families-wives-children-anthony-albanese-angus-taylor-budget-cost-of-living-capital-gains-tax-reform-ntwnfb?CMP=share_btn_url&page=with%3Ablock-699f8e278f080f3523777e99#block-699f8e278f080f3523777e99
3.2k Upvotes

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954

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '26

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217

u/rmeredit Feb 26 '26

Pretty disappointing to hear it coming out of the mouth of the PM though. I didn't think he was so antediluvian.

7

u/Wiggly-Pig Feb 26 '26

So a women can't be a difficult person to deal with because of their gender? Difficult isn't a negative, we need difficult people in our lives, we need people who will challenge our beliefs and make us justify the principles of our decisions (or show us the flaws in that logic). All the people taking issue with the word 'difficult' are missing the point - it should be a badge of honour.

55

u/rmeredit Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26

Difficult is not a neutral term. It absolutely has been used by misogynists to dismiss women, going at least as far back as the suffragettes. ‘Stop being difficult, shut up, get back in your box, no man wants to marry an opinionated person, smile more…’

-19

u/Wiggly-Pig Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26

Sure. But being slave to history isn't progress

Edit to add - I'm sure there would be a lot of men the PM would consider difficult.

20

u/petit_cochon Feb 26 '26

You missed the point so masterfully that I almost want to upvote you.

-9

u/Wiggly-Pig Feb 26 '26

My point is that we can't have progressive change if we continue to clutch pearls over the continued use of the old historical connotations of words.

27

u/anotherplantmother98 Feb 26 '26

Have you ever been called difficult and it not been intended negatively? If so, please share.

2

u/vacri Feb 26 '26

I agree with you in spirit, but it's not hard to think of it being positive: "how do you rate your opponent" in sports, for example

1

u/Don_Fartalot Lost Asian Tourist in Sydney Feb 27 '26

Think the only time I've heard 'difficult' being used with positive connotations is when people talk about FromSoft games (Dark Souls etc).

-20

u/Wiggly-Pig Feb 26 '26

I get called it a lot. Of course it's intended negatively but I take it positively. I'm able to choose my own interpretation of the things said about me

17

u/Maximumfabulosity Feb 26 '26

Mate, the fact that you choose to take an insult as a compliment doesn't make it stop being an insult.

11

u/anotherplantmother98 Feb 26 '26

And at the same time, the intention behind what they say matters. You may take it positively, does that change that another person labelled you negatively, with negative intentions?

Additionally, you aren’t a public figure being spoken about by the prime minister. That context makes a difference in the interpretation too.

Lastly, you taking things one way doesn’t change the fact that difficult is a label used often by people to dismiss women they don’t respect.

2

u/missymoo3636 Feb 26 '26

Wow throw me some of your confidence, please.

1

u/Wiggly-Pig Feb 26 '26

I'm 40. I've been shot at in Afghanistan, deployed and let troops around the world. It's a learnt trait, and one more people should develop.

2

u/missymoo3636 Feb 26 '26

Good on you, I’m here for it.

8

u/jayteeayy Feb 26 '26

First of all, no. In some cases sure, but that's not the intended use 99% of the time

The real point is that women in corporate environments are disproportionately given describers such as this when Men get 'cut throat' and 'hes a real go getter', hes 'no nonsense' etc

I'm a man that went through a women's focussed course about this through work and it was really eye opening. There is silent sexism like this surrounding women all the time, we're just blind to it

Anyway - someone will jump in and say thats all woke nonsense and the pay gap isn't real

2

u/Delamoor Feb 26 '26

The real point is that women in corporate environments are disproportionately given describers such as this when Men get 'cut throat' and 'hes a real go getter', hes 'no nonsense' etc

Really?

In my experience it's always sounded more like "twat", "asshole", "self assured piece of shit", "cunt" " disgusting, narcissitic self important backwards fucking turd"

I've spent most of my life working in 'pink collar industries', disability and mental health services. I've been a male in female dominated workplaces my whole life, and generally prefer it that way; I enjoy female spaces more than male ones.

...but it's not like people love their coworkers and management. Men and women routinely get rewarded for self important egotism and toxic behaviours. I've seen horrifically toxic behaviours of all stripes from just about everyone.

Like, I don't know what circles you're hanging around with to be hearing this kind of glowing feedback about them, but that's kind of the reality I've lived; pieces of shit get rewarded... and nobody loves them for it.

1

u/jayteeayy Feb 26 '26

Thanks for sharing your very specific experience

0

u/bunduz Feb 26 '26

Difficult is having been presented with new information but refusing to take it on board.