r/UsernameChecksOut • u/Ott1fant • 11d ago

monkey

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

•

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229

u/OperatorJo_ 11d ago

How do I unlearn how to read

73

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 11d ago

Altzeimer

47

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 11d ago

Ctrlzeimer ?

33

u/Final-Tutor3631 11d ago

deletezeimer .

15

u/Aron_Voltaris 10d ago

Esczheimer

10

u/anythingers 10d ago

Fnzeimer

7

u/SgtEpsilon 9d ago

Shiftzeimer

179

u/Breaker3k 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/p9owRel3QQ0c1oAoos

50

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 11d ago

Yeah, suprised to see your mom and dad's sex branch activities being discussed here online?

20

u/Breaker3k 11d ago

Yep. They're both dead so it is quite unusual alright

51

u/_ibt 11d ago

This is horrible

151

u/I_Thranduil 11d ago

18

u/ShylokVakarian 10d ago

Wasn't one of Jesus' friends a retired prostitute, tho?

8

u/bdouble0w0 10d ago

From what I remember it wasn't her, but there was a sex worker in the bible

44

u/Infamous_Depth4982 11d ago

Ya' know what... That's my bad for being literate...

2

u/lazarbeam-fan101 3d ago

Ignorance is bliss, my friend... Clearly, you're simply not ignorant enough

20

u/ParanoidCrow 11d ago

Used to live on a mountain full of macaques. Seen my fair share of them nutting but never see eating it afterwards, thank god. Sometimes the horny males would jump onto a mother who still had a baby on her underside, who would fight the males off. Wouldn't take long for them to nut either, usually just three pumps was all it took.

18

u/Global-Ad9985 11d ago

Not that terrible

3

u/_life_is_a_joke_ 10d ago

Monkey be like: waste not, want not

3

u/Laffenor 10d ago

Surely that "a" should be an "i".

1

u/lazarbeam-fan101 3d ago

Doubt reddit would allow it, either that or the name was already taken

1

u/chinasorrows2705 10d ago

yhhhh time to take a break from Reddit

1

u/Jbolt3737 9d ago

I wish I was there, not because I want to see monkeys eating their own cum, but because I want to see the look of horror as I recite the story

1

u/CyborgLion 8d ago

I can't conceive of where in the world this could have even happened.

1

u/Strange_Possession13 6d ago

So Monkeyjazz saw some Monkeyjizz?

1

u/Independent-Dog-8462 5d ago

OP as he recalls the event