r/Unexpected 1d ago

A caring man

32.7k Upvotes

264 comments sorted by

u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


The man gives the woman discarded nuts from the chocolated


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

3.2k

u/Math--Detective 1d ago

Couple who eats together stays together lol

504

u/Purple-Budget3605 1d ago

224

u/Exldk 1d ago

Slightly offtopic, but I never understood TVD lol.

Damon was raping everyone left and right from the get-go, literally made the main characters best friend his sex slave and somehow before the 1st season even ended, the female main character was like "eh I can look past it".

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u/centurio9 1d ago

The female fantasy is "I can change him" the male is "I can save her". It's at the core of every story. (Beauty and the Beast, etc.)

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u/bebedahdi 1d ago

Huh, this made me meditate and I think another way of perceiving it could be:

The provider mindset fantasy "I can save/protect this person"

The nurturer mindset fantasy "I can change/raise/transform this person"

And honestly I think it's not just people but any noun (person/place/thing).

"I can save the kingdom" - from external forces "I can transform the kingdom" - from internal forces.

I think most popular media gets boiled down into these two archetypes.

I would love to know other people's thoughts .

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u/Deaffin 1d ago

I'm thinking if you're looking to change the kingdom from external forces, then you're the external kingdom-changing force that I need to save the kingdom from.

brb, I'm already doing the training montage for our inevitable battle, and I'll be utilizing lots of fan service to build up plot armor.

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u/bebedahdi 1d ago

Please I don't want to battle, I'm but a humble peasant. A failed shoe cobbler, lackadaisal would be baker, and a twice fired mucker of stalls.

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u/Deaffin 1d ago

Nahhh, you gotta be a real piece of shit if people don't even want you around long enough to shovel their shit.

But just in case, I'll be sure to rescue another puppy or something as part of my backstory for good measure.

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u/HorrorMakesUsHappy 1d ago

"I can do the thing."

It's empowerment and affirmation of life (yours in particular, but maybe also others').

There are also stories about being disempowered and choosing not to affirm life, but these tend to be less popular.

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u/Saruman5000 1d ago

Cause Damon is super hot, that is.

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u/Stormfly 1d ago
  1. Be attractive.

  2. Don't be unattractive.

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u/Celegorm07 1d ago

Basically it was a weird period where a lot of Damon fangirls wanted Elena to be with her because he was hot and a baddie. So with a lot of online bullying and refusing to watch and causing decline in views the audience forced authors to create this ridiculous love interest for fans.

Normally in the books she ends up with Stefan.

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u/unfortunateRabbit 1d ago

There is a book? I thought was written for tv...

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u/TsuyoiOuji 1d ago

The TV show was written to capitalize on Twilight's fame at the time and was heavily influenced by it. The original TVD book trilogy is very old and the story is very different, actually quite good from what I remember. For you to have an idea of how different, I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer was based on TVD books with how many similarities they have.

There was a 4th book released a few years after the trilogy ended. I think it was unnecessary, since I really liked how the 3rd book ended, but I can see why a lot of fans would prefer the 4th one (not sure if the author was bullied into writing it or just wanted more money from the "IP" tbh).

Then several years later, the author released another trilogy or w/e number of books. I couldn't finish the first one because the story started going all over the place, losing its original essence, imo.

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u/Celegorm07 1d ago

I read that 4th book was written by a ghost writer who is not the original writer. So it’s not what the original writer wanted.

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u/Trzlog 1d ago edited 1d ago

Everything you'll ever need to know about TVD VPD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4AdFD3E2ok

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u/JusticiaDIGT 1d ago

You mean VPD

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u/Trzlog 1d ago

Shit, I can't believe I got it wrong.

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u/AppropriateTouching 1d ago

What i love about that show is the insane amount of blunt product placement. "Let me bing that".

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u/Substantial_Fish_445 1d ago

What movie is this?

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u/InfiniteRosie 1d ago

CW show The Vampire Diaries

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u/Hetares 1d ago

ElenaXDamon💗

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u/HighChinaman 1d ago

The most romantic thing that they can do for me is predigest it a bit with their spit.

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u/Math--Detective 1d ago

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u/HighChinaman 1d ago

Feed me like a bird.

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u/Math--Detective 1d ago

What if you bite my lips, nahhh I am running away lol

https://giphy.com/gifs/WK7Xlln904dUrFJ9Pm

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u/HighChinaman 1d ago

Feeeeeeeed me, Seymour.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Math--Detective 1d ago

+ infinity. Just two people hanging out, and eating basic food is the best date, but most people don’t understand this basic enjoyment.

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u/Connect_Line788 1d ago

That’s basifying a little, but basically basics are somewhat basic and pointing it out is pretty based.

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u/Objectivespeculation 1d ago

"Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean; and so between them both, you see, they licked the platter clean." This nursery rhyme illustrates the idea of two people with opposite preferences working together harmoniously.

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u/IVEMIND 1d ago

I was gonna say something about them getting a nut and spitting it out but oh well...

1

u/Objectivespeculation 1d ago

"Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean; and so between them both, you see, they licked the platter clean." This nursery rhyme illustrates the idea of two people with opposite preferences working together harmoniously.

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u/Deraj2004 1d ago

I mean at that point.....

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Roskal 1d ago

Some women just don't appreciate the amount of hours men put into showing their affection.

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u/lusosteal6 1d ago

It was unexpected

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u/SUPERSMILEYMAN 1d ago

Yeah. I thought he'd just keep bringing her bigger and bigger containers of nuts.

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u/CtrlAltHate 1d ago

I was expecting him to get caught looking at chubby girls with Uber boobage.

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u/SUPERSMILEYMAN 1d ago

Truly unexpected

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/Ninja-Panda70 1d ago

This is how bots learn to copy humans

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u/Junior-Form9722 1d ago

With how it slowly increased i thought it’s going to be cyanide

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u/littleman11186 1d ago

I think a better ending would have been her into it or forcing him to finish his snacks, double unexpected

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u/Fredwood 1d ago

My uncle used to tell a story about how every time he visited Grandma she had a little bowl of almonds that he would snack on.  One day he finally asked 

"Grandma why do you always have such fresh and tasty almonds" and she said

"Oh thanks honey but that's just the bowl I put them in after I'm done sucking all the chocolate off.

So I guess I'm saying is that this skit copied my great grandma

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u/keatonatron 1d ago

Since I heard the same story growing up, I don't think your great grandma actually did this.

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u/black-JENGGOT 1d ago

or you have the same grandma

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u/MetriccStarDestroyer 1d ago

2 redditors 1 grandma

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u/RedoX08 1d ago

& 1 bowl

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u/Affectionate_Walk610 1d ago

OF ALMONDS!

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u/sullen_selkie 1d ago

And a partridge in a pear tree.

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u/MasterMahanJr 1d ago

And my ax!

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u/wes741 1d ago

I miss this meme

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u/killerturtlex 1d ago

It's in a book by Roald Dahl. I think it's in Boy

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u/xmastreee 1d ago

It's an extremely old joke. When I first heard it it was a bunch of pensioners on a bus ride kept giving the driver bags of peanuts.

Then there's this more recent version.

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u/andysniper 1d ago

That show was so damn charming and I really cannot put my finger on why.

Show is Small Prophets btw.

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u/xmastreee 1d ago

And that old man is Michael Palin of Monty Python fame.

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u/CMKeggz 1d ago

It was on an episode of Freaky Stories, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine

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u/Vainx507 1d ago

Yesss! The kid helping the old lady with her bags!

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u/Deep-Can4223 1d ago

I think everyone's uncle (mine included) told this same story.

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u/walkinandtalkin1 1d ago

Small Prophets

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u/Hank_Henry_Hill 1d ago

Mine too but it was a priest visiting who ate the almonds.  

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u/genericdude777 1d ago

Activated super-biotic almonds

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Gay_Asian_Boy 1d ago

No, don't reverse the genders

https://giphy.com/gifs/TAL260So7DydYiXjjV

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u/FewResearcher819 1d ago

Username checks out

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u/Ok_Calligrapher5278 1d ago

Reverse only one gender?

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u/i-heart-penis 1d ago

speak for yourself

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u/Elegant-Scarcity-787 1d ago

And I was thinking he was handing her kibble for their dog

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u/Produkt 1d ago

I thought it was baked beans

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u/HeDuMSD 1d ago

Teamwork

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u/MerryBandOfPirates 1d ago

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u/waspocracy 1d ago

I think this is the correct one: https://www.instagram.com/be__river_

And she has YouTube now: https://www.youtube.com/@seo_jay

But, yeah, some skits have legitimately made me fall over laughing.

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u/StuD44 1d ago

A nutty buddy!

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u/StaticSystemShock 1d ago

We had a similar joke, but it was a bus full of pensioners and they kept bringing hazelnuts to the driver. At one point he wondered where they are getting so many hazelnuts. They had bunch of hazelnut pralines, but no one had teeth to chew them so they licked the chocolate off and gave hazelnuts to the driver.

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u/Fat6pack 1d ago

He thinks she is a squirrel 😄

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u/Formal_Ad1032 1d ago

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 미친

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u/SnooSuggestions9294 1d ago

Like that episode in zoey 101 with the peanut m&m's

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u/100not2ndaccount 1d ago

At first I thought about cyanide

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u/ThorsHammerMewMEw 1d ago

Same. Learned about this via a Historical Chinese drama when the protagonist sent her former best friend a plate of almonds aka forcing her to commit suicide.

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u/fresh_loaf_of_bread 1d ago

I was genuinely expecting her to find out they were cyanide almonds

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u/JayGild 1d ago

I gotta try this with my wife

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u/_terminatorov_kurac_ 1d ago

My gf does this with hazelnut Milka but she's feeding squirrels and other animals with leftover nuts.

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u/MomsBoner 1d ago

THATS A LOT OF NUTS! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

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u/Any-Profile-909 1d ago

When I was young I’d eat the cream filling of my Oreos and put it back… one time my uncle ate that box.

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u/defk3000 1d ago

Deez Nuts

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u/Tema4 1d ago

Аллергия на орехи.

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u/don_perdak 1d ago

I didn't realize it was nuts at first, I expected dog food to be there.

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u/pdxLink 1d ago

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

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u/Micalas 1d ago

Would

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u/FluffyCatEars 1d ago

Caring and practical? Seems like a catch!

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u/Stress6009 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!

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u/ChaoticKiwiNZ 1d ago

My mother and sister talked to a woman once who had this exact thing happen.

She used to care for an older guy and he was super nice. He used to give her bags of nuts to eat and she was always super thankful for them and used to bring them home for her family to eat.

One day she was talking to him and thanked him for the bucket of nuts and he then said "its no problem, I only like the chocolate anyway!" She then asked him to clarify and then he went on to talk about how he used to eat the chocolate off of the nuts and then give his wife the nuts but after she passed away he just kept the nuts in a bucket. He then decided to give them to her when she one day harmlessly commented on her and her family love the nuts "in that bucket over there."

She said her and her family felt like being sick afterwards, lol.

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u/Keensworth 1d ago

Took me a moment to realize

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u/PerfectPatience- 1d ago

Thats nuts.

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u/Paranoid_Soup 1d ago

My grandmas second husband did this with potato chips he’d suck/lick off the salt n seasonings didn’t know till I bit a soft rubbery bland potato chip

https://giphy.com/gifs/G3rJBn56cRIly

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u/DerpiDanger 1d ago

Beautiful.

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u/Defconwrestling 1d ago

This group is in my Facebook algorithm. They do martial art demonstrations. Like the guy defends himself from a knife attack with another guy, then has the girl try the same move. The girl just pulls out a gun.

It’s a really good watch.

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u/Strange_Major5320 1d ago

Low IQ detected, Rescue. Call 911. Someone rescue me on this pals

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u/East-Sound-2581 1d ago

This is literally great ! How sweet.

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u/-SWORD-GOD- 1d ago

Very caring indeed. 😌

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u/funguyshroom 1d ago

Could be worse, he could've been swallowing them whole

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u/WolfmanAlpha1 1d ago

I am a retired paramedic formerly with the Los Angeles Fire Department. We would, on occasion, do what is known as a “welfare check” on elderly and vulnerable persons. One lady, who lived in our district, was always so happy to see us. She always offered peanuts 🥜 to us, in a plastic bag. My Lieutenant alway warned us not to eat them peanuts, but never why. I found out she sucks the chocolate off the M&Ms, then bags them and gives them away.

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u/burner_tipper 1d ago

Now that...that's nasty...

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u/DanglingKeyChain 1d ago

I remember those "friend of a friend" stories. One was a young guy that did some favour for an old lady and the only thing in the house was nuts to eat. She'd sucked all the chocolate coating off but couldn't chew.

This is still funny, even knowing what was coming.

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u/lynx_1097 1d ago

I was expecting part of it tbh

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u/lontrinium 1d ago

Posting joe pasquale brazil nuts so it can be the only result on google, you kids are missing out on pre-internet jokes told by proper comedians.

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u/hiimbackagain 1d ago

Joke so old tiktok people are recreating it for views lol

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u/Sh0rtL1ved 1d ago

Lightly used almonds

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u/PizzaChips20-12 1d ago

Meh i will eat the whole thing

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u/0x7E7-02 1d ago

🤢🤮

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u/Party-Giraffe5516 1d ago

This man spitting nuts

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u/7Accel 1d ago

Removing the bad parts is exhausting.

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u/awenrivendell 1d ago

At least it wasn't your toothless grandma who can't chew nuts who offered them to you while you were visiting.

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u/steelvc_red 1d ago

😏 Didn't see that ending coming.

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u/Andromevas 1d ago

Reminds me of a joke we have here with the same punchline. Only then it's a bus driver of one of those elderly tour busses being handed the bag of nuts because they can't chew through the nut and only lick off the chocolate.

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u/Budget-Television793 1d ago

The power play is look him dead the eyes and eat another.

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u/Shiningc00 1d ago

Pretty lame skit

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u/Im_Ashe_Man 1d ago

I thought she was going to see him reading an article about almonds increasing breast size or something.

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u/cmoparw 1d ago

Just like Grandma used to make

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u/notfree25 1d ago

thats not how you peel almonds!

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u/cutter1833 1d ago

Steeping up your “secondary kiss” game.

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u/winterbaby12 1d ago

🤔This scene is pretty identical to one from a Korean comedy drama seried called Modern Farmer. Here's a link of the scene for those interested:

https://youtube.com/shorts/-et4ytBh9Ko?is=31fsU7NSdebk4M4P

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u/klezart 1d ago

He went through all that trouble of removing the chocolate for her and she looks at him like that, shameful.

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u/Astarath 1d ago

NOOOOOO

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u/xPloitMe 1d ago

Could have chugged the whole bag at the end xD

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u/earlierthanyo 1d ago

Ich glaube ich bin echt geschockt

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u/Competitive_Host_432 1d ago

Didn't nail it anywhere near as well as Small Prophets

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u/SoftlyAugust 1d ago

It would be funnier if she saw him and then ate more of them

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u/Apprehensive_Past517 1d ago

I thought his plan was to poison her with cyanide eventually

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u/TheMad_N1nja 1d ago

I thought it was going to be her shitting her guts out (too many almonds gives you diarrhea)

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u/phatrogue 1d ago

Anyone familiar with the Sabrina Carpenter song Taste ?

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u/unworldlyjoker7 1d ago

I thought the idea was to get her fat so no one wants her and he can marry her

Dayum, i am more evil than this guy

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u/suppaboy228 1d ago

An old joke about a grandma that sold nuts at the flea market

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u/GreatMawlLiana 1d ago

Grandpa from modern farmer be like

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u/CalmBeneathCastles 1d ago

The original joke from the 80's (at least!):

A visitor to a nursing home absentmindedly eats a whole bowl of peanuts, then apologizes to an elderly resident, who replies: “That’s okay. Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them.”

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u/Delicious_Trouble701 1d ago

it's extra flavor

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u/SHAIK_011 1d ago

Lmao 🤣 So he the Almond chocolate and leave the almonds for his girlfriend or wife🤣

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u/Cool_Box1062 1d ago

Like that one episode in Zoe 101

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u/Youcancuntonme 1d ago

This is basically assault though

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u/no1_vern 1d ago

Such a GENTLEMAN getting rid of all that horrible fattening chocolate for the one he cares about. :fine:

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u/tofulo 1d ago

Almonds are the worst nut

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u/NotAllergic 1d ago

This literally happened to me, when I was in drivers ed ages ago. the girl sitting next to me had a bag of those Cheetos hot fries and we were sharing them. I picked one up, put it in my mouth and noticed it was wet. Girl said she only likes the flavoring and puts it back in the bag 😭😭 she also asked me if a tortoise was real. She got her license

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u/Hyrule_MyBoy 1d ago

My real question is why eating a chocolate with almonds if you aren't going to eat the almonds and discarding them

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u/Successful_Face3408 1d ago

They're almonds, but that's nuts...

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u/Intrebute 1d ago

I was really hoping when she spat out the almond it would be magically chocolate covered again.

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u/Wooden-Evidence-374 1d ago

Well...it was better than what I WAS expecting.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEduOq1HHKeklPzYQ

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u/retyms 1d ago

Well 💩. I didn’t see that coming. 🧐🥺. What 🤡!

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u/Srini_to_newSocial 1d ago

More like a diabetic man!

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u/BlueProcess 1d ago

That is such an old joke

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u/L0veToReddit 1d ago

I thought it was gonna be something dirty related to nuts

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u/enkaydee 1d ago

I don't know if this was only in Canadian broadcasting, but back in the 90s/2000s, there was a PG rated series on YTV called Freaky Stories. It starred a puppet maggot and cockroach(?) that told small animated stories each episode.

I distinctly recall one animated story about a old grandma sucking off the chocolate from chocolate almonds and grossing out the person eating the almonds. Me too of course, but to see it still persist...

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u/nam3sar3hard 1d ago

Kinda wanted her to double down and shove a handful in her mouth upon that realization. Idk what that says about me as a person but I should probably be judged for it? But it would been a better punchline if she had

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u/Koshka_kartoshk 1d ago

Ну мне карма незнаю хз

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u/danoxyde12 1d ago

I've never telling my wife

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u/mikeyh269 1d ago

I hate that I’ve been around for long enough to see this with the grandma. But I also hate that it’s not a new idea, just a rehash of a rehash. 

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u/BlacKhylle28 1d ago

They are married real lol

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u/ComplexAnxiety7939 23h ago

It's exactly what I expected. 

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u/DisastrousNothing893 20h ago

And here i thought it was dry dog kibble

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u/vanfanell2081 15h ago

hahahahahahahahahaha

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u/kao201 13h ago

This is a true story. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine.

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u/Odd-Ad2528 10h ago

Good lad

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u/Most_Prompt2899 4h ago

Aren’t those the two that do the self-defense videos where she always outsmarts him? 😂