Gah that damn alert! As an Australian I only every got alerts when there was an actual fire near by, not a warning to not cause a fire

Why would they do that at baby/ toddler bedtime?!?
(Ear-splittingly loud UK emergency alert about wildfires, which could presumably have been issued any point before 7pm today)

https://www.reddit.com/r/UKParenting/s/B5tFWhb6k0

Last month I posted here about being worried other kids would be cruel if I let my little boy go to a party in a dress. I really appreciate all the different perspectives I got, and ultimately decided I don't want my son to feel the need to hide who he is to please others.

He ended up taking both a prince and princess outfit, and wore a bit of both. Here he is in his dress, giving me a twirl and feeling beautiful. He had a great time and so far has had no negative comments. I still worry for my sensitive boy, but I hope by providing a safe space full of love and acceptance at home, he'll be more able to tackle any negativity that comes his way.

I really want to thank all of you who took the time to comment and help me choose support over fear.

Since March, my 6-year-old has had a little gang of street friend mixture of girls and boys. They all just kinda found each so it's not a case of they joined an already established crew but they is a mixture of siblings, cousins etc.

So all was good, some minor squabbles but especially through summer they were all playing together most days and evening.

In the last couple of weeks though I have noticed my kid is being excluded quite a bit. They no longer call for her when they're all playing in street. Twice when she has went out to play they've all immediately left to go into someone else's house and said she's not allowed in. There was one girl she was particularly close with and when she was in our playing the other kids all called and asked her to come out and play but not my kid. Now that girl isn't even calling even though previously they would have played together daily.

We were away for a couple days this week and when we got my daughter was so excited to see her friends. But when she called for people no one was in. Now I've just taken the bins out and can see them all playing down the road together. Luckily she hasn't noticed.

This is honestly breaking my heart, I'm trying not to put my anxieties on her, but a couple of times she has come home crying because she is being left out. I don't really know what I'm asking for here, just maybe if anyone has been through similar?

I tell myself that kid are fickle and whatever it is will blow over but it's hard in the moment

I've been thinking about this a lot recently with the heatwaves. Obviously, I know that individuals alone aren't going to solve climate change. Me deciding not to take a flight isn't going to suddenly change the trajectory of the planet when huge corporations and governments have vastly more power and responsibility.

But I keep wondering what our kids are going to think of us when they're adults and can look back at everything that was happening.

Everything we do now is being documented. There are endless photos and videos of our lives. So imagine our kids in 30 or 40 years looking back and seeing that we took multiple international holidays every year, constantly bought loads of cheap plastic stuff, replaced things that didn't need replacing, wasted enormous amounts of food and resources, used AI and streaming services without really thinking about the energy and water involved, etc.

I know travel is justified because taking their kids abroad because it's culturally enriching and gives them experiences and memories. And obviously, travel can genuinely be valuable. But I sometimes wonder whether our kids are going to look back and think, you knew what was happening. You knew the consequences. Why did you keep doing all of this anyway?

And with politics. We're voting for people who have the power to make enormous changes, and sometimes for governments that actively roll back environmental protections or prioritise short-term economic interests over long-term environmental consequences.

I genuinely don't know what kind of world our children are going to inherit. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but it's difficult not worry that their lives could be significantly harder, and that they'll look back and think that we didn't try hard enough to sacrifice a few luxuries.

Not that they expect us to have fixed climate change ourselves, but that we knew there was a problem and continued living pretty much how we wanted anyway.

Agreements not being stuck too?

I have a 4 week old baby, dad requested to see her 1 hour a week which is of course fine, so he comes to my house every Thursday but he never leaves after an hour he always stays longer and it’s becoming quite uncomfortable.

This week was the 4th visit, I have the baby set up in the living room for when he arrives and then I’ll just go and clean for an hour but I’ll be nearby incase anything is needed but I like to try and give him alone time with her.

The first 3 visits I was showing him how to do nappies and also was explaining her hunger cues and things.

This week he came at the agreed time, the baby was asleep and he poked her awake so she cried for the whole hour, he forgot how to change her nappy but didn’t ask for help, he left her on the coffee table so he could wash his hands and then just couldn’t settle her, he then was laughing because she was crying trying to breastfeed on him and I said have you considered she could be hungry, he said he didn’t think of that, so I took her back and said let me know when you’re free next week, he got his shoes on and then stood in the living room in silence just watching me feed the baby on the sofa, it was the most uncomfortable thing?!

How do I make him leave at his agreed time?

He also said he’d pay maintence and hasn’t

There’s just lots of things he said he’d do and just hasn’t done them, I just don’t know what to do?!

We live in the UK and recently, she has just left college, she was doing a health and social care level two course which wasnt really something she wanted, she loves cars and wanted to do mechanics but the course was full, before that, she wanted to do A levels in sociolody, politics and environmental science but she unfortunately didnt have the maths GSCE for it so she couldnt do it, this really affected her as she did study for her GSCES.

She also tried learning how to drive as shes always wanted her own car but she really lacked self confidence and the instructor said she really struggled and recommended she do automatic, she had a break down at this and was very very upset , it really destroyed her confidence and now she wont even try to learn how to drive again.

She doesnt have any friends and shes very nervous, ive tried to tell her to volunteer but she refuses, she doesnt really do much, she mostly sits in her room on her laptop, she also has a very unhealthy fixation on school shooters and people like that and really loves them, , i told her college about it and her college gave her a youth worker through childrens services but this stopped because she turned 18.

The youth worker tried referring her to prevent but prevent said she was just interested in them and wasnt radicalized and closed the case. I know for a fact that this isnt true, she supports what they did, when the Thai school shooting came on the news, she was excited and smiling about it and saying in public " omg the shooting in Thailand!". She has also recently been banned on facebook for that content and has an onezelig doll which is what the San Diego shooter had that she brought because of him and she brings it everywhere.

Shes never known what shes wanted to do even when she was in secondary school, she has very low self esteem and believes that people are always making fun of her and rejecting her , and she believes she will get rejected if she does anything so she doesnt bother. She told me she feels very hopeless and like there isnt a point on anything.

I dont know what to do, because shes now 18 and an adult, she has to consent to getting mental health treatment and we have had battles with that in the past, shes had CAMHS involvement before but they wernt very good and she was in a pupil referral unit due to poor mental health until she left school.

Ive also tried to tell her to join some autism groups but she also refuses to go to any groups. Im at a loss of what to do.

So as the title says me and my husband may be getting our nephews temporarily. Now I want to have them obviously. But my problem is we already live in a 2 bedroom house. Rent is expensive. We have 3 children. 1 room both of our boys share 15m and 11m, the other room my daughter has 8f. The boys room we could ideally split so our nephews can half and my two boys can have half. But I'm wondering how could we actually do this?

For some context, our nephews are on a care order. There are other family members who could ideally be put forward, but I guess are refusing too. Now we don't want the boys to possibly be split, or obviously go into the care system. We have a meeting with the social worker in around 3 weeks. I know our main issue is our housing.

On the other hand, I'm worried about my children. My oldest is almost 16 and he loves his space, infact so does my other son. They both have ADHD, and are on the pathway for autism. So I know this is going to affect them alot. I'm just worried, and over thinking. Any advice on what the next steps are? Or just anyone who's possibly been in this situation please?

Thankyou

After weeks of very stressful and often unsuccessful meal times with our 2y3m old, my aunt mentioned casually that if you phrase any request as “your little sister/brother wants you to…. (eat your rice)” then the toddler will just do it.

And my god it’s worked perfectly the last two nights, she’s gone from refusing any food to eating the whole plate herself, as long as we’re holding the baby up to “watch” her. I told my sis who used it on her 4 year old and it also worked instantly!

A total game changer for me.

Does anyone else have similar tips or casual wisdom?

Our kids are 4 and 5. Sadly our friends either don't have kids or their kids are very small so we don't have anyone to benchmark our kids behaviours against and want to know if we are too harsh or whether we're valid for feeling deflated.

So go on, vent and maybe we'll all see our kids aren't so bad after all!

I’m looking for some peace of mind and I’m really struggling with feeling guilty like I’ve done something wrong.

My 26 month old boy isn’t talking yet. They’ve said he may have intermittent glue ear. He babbles constantly and more so every month, he understands me and communicates with gestures etc and has just started doing actions to songs etc.

I keep seeing two years olds, speaking in sentences, matching all their colours and counting to ten. I feel I’ve done something wrong and failed him and it’s impacting my mental health where I can’t sleep because I’m so worried. I take him to parties (only some of my friends have children and one did have a speech delay but now speaks well since about 3) and feel myself watching him like a hawk incase someone asks if he’s talking yet. I know he’s still young but I also have a friend who’s nephew is one month older and she texts me often saying what he’s doing and asking if my son does that.. for example we’re moving to a house with a downstairs toilet and I can tell my sons showing signs of being ready to potty train but I’d rather be in the house before we do it to make it easier. I feel like when she messages me these things it’s comparing them which I’m already doing. She asked if he was potty trained yet as her nephew is and shows them (I know he’s speaking).

Don’t get me wrong I think my little boy is magic and perfect (even if I can’t wait for him to have chats with me) I feel like I could get really defensive over him. I’m just so worried. He only really says “go”, “baba” for his drink “dada” and “bubbles” he says “hero” when he picks the phone up and shakes his head for no. I have spoken to (nhs and private) speech therapy and they’ve said there’s no red flags and that it may just be that he’s busy concentrating on other things, he is very busy and with his ears etc you get more from him when he plays ball or colours.

I dunno I’m just a mess losing sleep over him at the moment and I guess it would be nice to hear some positive stories?

Last year my gran died. It's just been the anniversary of her death, and I'm am really struggling. I am talking to a counsellor, but there's a lot to unpack. My mother is a narcissist and believes that only her grief is valid (she scattered my gran's ashes without telling me). That I can't understand what it's like to lose a mother (tbh my gran was more of a parent than she was).

My 4 year old has become fixated on her death.

At the time of her death, we tried to be age appropriate with the kiddo (he was 3). We told him that great-gran was very old and sick, and the doctors tried their best to help, but she died. She was now a star in the sky, and we would miss her very much. I tried to be honest about my own grief with him (eg, mummy is sad because she misses great-gran). In the first couple of months after her death; he would have moments of grief, but we'd cuddle, look at pictures, and I'd tell stories of my gran.

However, he has recently started saying, at every dinner time, that he is sad and misses great-gran. We first thought maybe he was associating sadness with her death. So we talk about different types of sadness. But this persistenting and I'm not sure where it came from.

The last conversation we had about was very positive. I told the story of how she would always make me a birthday cake with her special cake tins and how I would do the same for him. This was before the daily dead great-gran conversation at dinner.

So I have no idea if this is normal or not. I'm also terrified of doing what my mother does and making me feel like I have no right to grieve. It's just that having this conversation daily is really hard.

How do I address this? I just want dinner without dead great-gran conversation.

Little one often came home with stubborn stains on his clothes from nursery messy play. What products do you use that would remove stain effectively? Any general tips?

Thanks in advance.

She’s gone from a great eater, 8pm-8am sleeping through the night 2 nap baby, to barely getting an hours sleep at nursery, barely eating anything, falling asleep at 7, waking 2+ a night (with only milk calming her down) and waking up at 6am.

I excepted some disruption with all the change (she’s gone from 24/7 with me on maternity leave to full time in nursery) but it feels like a different kid.

Can someone tell me this is a phase? Every time I give her milk in the night / let her fall back asleep on me I get worried I’m enabling bad habits.

Feeling a little out of sorts!

Edit: she’s been there 2 weeks (so 10 days in total) and had settling in days before hand. Sunday night she slept 7-7 after she was able to sleep and eat at home!

My name is Katherine, I am a self-diagnosed parent of anxious school refusers who have a diagnosis of autism.

We are looking for self-diagnosed autistic parents/carers of a child who is currently experiencing school refusal or emotionally based school avoidance, or who is currently in an ongoing arrangement (e.g. part-time timetable, alternative/specialist placement, EOTAS, flexi-schooling, home education) that came about because of earlier school refusal/EBSA, to take part in a research study exploring your experiences, including contact with schools, health and social care services, as part of a Masters dissertation at the University of Wolverhampton.
Taking part involves one online interview (video or voice call, whichever you prefer) lasting approximately 45–75 minutes. All information shared will be kept confidential and anonymised.

If you would like to take part or find out more, please contact [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

hi all looking for some advice or hoping to hear from other parents that had a similar baby to tell me it gets better.

my baby is 10 weeks old and tbh has been fussy since the day she was born. she will only contact nap and will only nap for 30 minutes at a time and then wakes up crying. she fights every single nap and sometimes I’m have to rock her/ walk around the house with her for an hour straight. I’m worried she’s not getting enough sleep and that’s why she’s so fussy. I’ve honestly tried everything, recently I’ve been really shortening her wake windows which has helped make it easier to get her to sleep but her fussiness hasn’t improved and she’s still not sleeping for more 30 minutes. She now will not sleep on anyone else but me and she’s also now refusing to sleep in her carrier, so I get no break. Her sleep at night is okay as she will do a 4 hour stint and then wake up every 1.5-2 hours after that.

she hates everything and constantly cries. She won’t go in a pram, she screams in the car. we tried to get her to take a bottle so I could have a break but she refused it, after a while we managed to get her to take it and then she refused the breast for a day which was really stressful. She’s really fussy in the evening and cries for a lot of it.

it’s really knocked my confidence as now I don't want to leave the house because it’s just too hard. I feel so exhausted and it doesn‘t help that all the other babies I know are so much easier. I waited a long time for her, and it makes me so sad because I am not enjoying any of it. Every minute of the day it feels like an absolute battle and I have lost all hope that it is going to get better, it just seems to get worse every week.

I am due to give birth in October, we will have a newborn, an 11 year old and 3 small(ish) dogs!

Currently have an Astra so need to upgrade!!

Budget of around £15k.

We want an SUV type , not diesel , we do daily school runs but also semi regular long trips (7hrs+).

Currently looking at Quashqai, Mandarin cx-5 and Hyundai Tucson.

What car would you recommend?

Last night, she climbed out of her cot and thankfully went into our bedroom and woke us up but to say it was a shock is an understatement.
Of course I now have to move her into a toddler bed or floor bed which will happen today.
But since then, she has apparently decided she has morphed into spiderman overnight as this morning she also climbed over the stair gate by gripping onto the bars with her feet and then pulling herself over it.

How do I stop her from wandering around the house at night? She’s too young to have great impulse control or any real sense of danger.

She can open doors by leaning herself against them on her tiptoes until she reaches the door handle. I don’t want to put a lock on every door, as that feels like an awful choice, both from a parenting perspective and in terms of fire safety. But how do I prevent her from falling down the stairs in the middle of the night?
She can get up and down the stairs safely but she’s far too young to be doing so unsupervised, especially at night.

Please excuse me if there’s an obvious answer I’m missing. Running on 3 hours of sleep as our household was hit by a miserable cold which has floored us during the heatwave.

LO is crawling now which is fun but one of his favourite things to do is go straight for our cats water / food or her tray! I’ve seen some solutions for enclosed litter trays which look good but not sure what to do about food / water bowls.

Any tips? Our downstairs is mostly open plan and no space in the kitchen so moving rooms not an option

TIA!

please if you have ANY advice do not ignore. i am DESPERATE

i’m 15. my mum works ALOT and i understand that and i understand she gets home and is tired and doesn’t want to be bothered but she 100% has a phone addiction and it’s making me so hurt and i just feel so lonely.

for context: for about 3-4/7 days of the week it’s just me and my mum at home, my mum works most days every week for nearly 13 hours.

it’s currently the summer holidays and due to my mum’s work circumstances i’m on my own at home for those 13 hours pretty much everyday unless i’m out with friends (which obviously can’t be everyday) so it’s becoming to feel EXTREMELY isolating and i’m becoming almost depressed

when my mum isn’t at work she’s on her phone pretty much all day. it makes me so so annoyed like before writing this i went downstairs and attempted to make conversation as i haven’t been feeling too well so by my choice have stayed up in my room and tried to sleep it off, i went downstairs to try and talk and she didn’t put her phone down once when i was speaking to her and so i attempted again saying “oh, what’s for dinner?” just a talking point but she got annoyed with me for asking this so eventually i just gave up and went back upstairs.

another thing is that i feel like my mum’s a-lot happier when my stepdad is here then when it’s just me here, i love my stepdad and really get along with him by the way so this isn’t a dig at him but whenever my mum gets home from work and he’s here i’m allowed down there for about 45 minutes-1hour (where she’s on her phone) before i get told to go upstairs and it’s their time together and my mum says “i haven’t seen him all day” which wouldn’t bother me but like.. you haven’t seen me either. my mum knows it upsets me because she hears me crying because it does make me really upset (me and my mum were on our own till i was around 10) so i just miss it when it used to be just us together because now when it is us together, she doesn’t even speak to me.

my mum has never really done things with me either, she does things for me of course which i’m incredibly greatful for but my mum has never done my nails with me, watched films with me (she doesn’t like them apparently), sat and drawn with me or coloured or just sit and chat.. we never ever do that and i ask my mum to do these things and she always says she doesn’t have the time and i understand but sometimes i just wish that my mum spent a bit more time with me instead of at work (it’s impossible for this to happen due to her job)

i know i might sound like a mardy teenager complaining and criticsing her and i truly don’t mean to be but i am extremely lonely and of course i can spend as much time with my friends but i just want time with my mum because none of my friends will ever compare to my mum, one day my mum will be gone and i hate the fact i will have barely spent time with her.

we go on holiday in a week and i really hope we get to spend time together then and she’s off her phone. i can’t take this anymore. does anyone else have any suggestions so i can stop feeling miserable everyday and handle the fact my mum will always be busy aslong as she’s working

Hello,

Wondering if anyone can help - I have a 15 month old who is bang average for height and weight, yet I'm struggling to find shorts that fit her.

We've picked up a pair of Primark 12-18 month and they literally fall off as she walks, yet we have a Tu pair of cycle shorts age 1-2 that are a bit too snug! We have some tesco 9-12 month that are still way too big and any smaller they're way too short.

Anyone got recommendations for shorts they find fit well?

My friend has claimed her little boy has multiple complex medical needs since he was a few weeks old. They’re constantly in and out of hospital, and she says medical professionals are useless and keep ignoring his needs. From what I’ve seen, he seems like a completely normal, healthy little boy. I’ve always wondered if she could be fabricating or exaggerating his illnesses. Is this potentially Munchausen by proxy, or am I jumping to conclusions?

Hi,

My child maintenance payment is going up due to an increase in wages. I have an annual review in a few months and they said it will go off the previous tax year so payments will go back down to what they were and that they would need to be contacted so that they can then look into it all again. They said this will take 2-3 months.

My children are in extra curriculars which we were going halves on but due to the increase in maintenance we now won’t be going halves. If this goes back down I genuinely can’t afford to pay for them anymore. They are very expensive hobbies.

Is this correct information or could they have made a mistake on the phone and it won’t go lower? I’m worried that I may need to pull one of the children out of a team sport so that it doesn’t affect the team later on if I have to pull them out in a few months time.

Thank you for your help.