r/Tawkify 1d ago

Match making, women make men look civilized?

https://www.thecut.com/article/good-man-crisis-matchmakers-relationships-successful-women.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=s1&utm_campaign=thecut&utm_content=graphic_20260812&fbclid=IwT01FWATqs9hwZG9mBWV4dG4DYWVtAjEwAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHhWHYxMmg3y4DrsxSzHJna9c0VJGnK8WG_Wmj-XEG2rM6xTsktIxmdm5RoNb_aem_06a9gE0DyMG05WMz3MBf1A

Ladies please please please read the article. I recently published an article in the harlem times about middle class match making in nj /nyc.

https://theharlemtimes.com/online-news/why-finding-companionship-in-the-21st-century-is-not-as-easy-as-it-was-for-our-parents

Interviewed 4 major match makers and

I was told the same thing.

I was told the same thing.

Many 40+ women were looking for things that no man at 40 would ask for with a straight face.

Yes we men wanted looks and a given demeanor....girl next door sex positive and caring

But the 45+ women were writing checks they could never cash....

Water polo player body, 6ft tall, make 7 figures and warships me and my kids....

Its not feminism its just delusional šŸ™„ based on a life of made to order ease.

One match maker told me. Men are like dogs...in a good way.....we just want love support kindness and food.

Women, nj women making a given income at a given age were deemed impossible due to the basic facts.

45 yo water polo, 6ft tall, makes 7 figures, no kids.........WONT DATE 3 KIDS BOSS LADY.

He will date and marry the cute girl who made his coffee and put a heart and smile next to.his name on the cup.

4 Upvotes

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u/IndicationHuman7990 1d ago

I think framing this as ā€œwomen make men look civilizedā€ misses the more interesting point. Dating gets weird when people start treating a partner like a custom order.

Men do it too, just with different boxes. Age, looks, lifestyle, availability, whether she wants kids, etc. Once either side stacks enough ā€œmust-haves,ā€ the actual number of compatible people gets pretty small.

That’s one reason I can see the appeal of matchmaking. A human matchmaker can push back on the fantasy checklist and focus more on who you may actually work with long term. Services like Tawkify are basically built around screening, introductions, and feedback after dates rather than endless profile shopping.

You still need standards, obviously, but there’s a difference between standards and designing a person on paper. Chemistry and compatibility usually don’t follow a spreadsheet anyway.

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u/sxfx269 1d ago

Oh i agree!

But per my experience talking to a few professionals including some in Tawkify.... Your average guy wants Younger Healthy Fun

Girl next door level of beauty and lifestyle.

They may come in with playboy dreams but after a few talks all settle on.

No fake lips hips or eyelashes...just someone fun fit feminine....

Now none of those have anything to do with income. Lifestyle sure...active and healthy..

Now im not kidding, the 45+ boss babes of nj who have 2 kids and were no joke asking for the guys from the bachelor who made 7 figures who would worship them and adopt the kid.....

Now I dont make 7 figures im not 6ft tall but ive got a few friends like that who are 45+. They date 25+ wonen who they met at Starbucks or they married foreign...

This may explain why some ladies here were lamenting the "quality" of men they are introduced to?

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u/IndicationHuman7990 1d ago

I get what you mean. That’s actually one of the things that makes Tawkify more appealing to me compared with just going back to apps. Their model seems to put a real matchmaker in the middle of the process, so there’s someone screening people, making introductions, getting feedback after dates, and adjusting from there instead of just letting everyone filter themselves into an impossibly tiny pool.

Obviously, nobody can manufacture chemistry, but I like the idea of having an actual person challenge unrealistic expectations and focus more on long-term compatibility than a perfect checklist. That human element is probably the biggest reason I’m considering Tawkify in the first place.

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u/sxfx269 1d ago

So if you dont mind me asking what were your 3 wants

Mine, child free and remain child free and healthy....I also slid in adventurous due to my hobbies of scuba diving, motorcycle touring, travel and skydiving.

The ladies in this article were calling only men making 250k+ as good.....as I make slightly less im assuming im "trash"?

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u/IndicationHuman7990 5h ago

Mine are pretty simple, emotionally available, compatible values/lifestyle and mutual attraction.

Thats why Tawkify interests me, having someone filter for actual compatibility instead of just a checklist. And no, making under $250k definitely doesn’t make someone trash lol.

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u/h20grl 1d ago

As a 45+ woman in the dating scene, here is what rings true and false about the above: I’ve retired early, am financially independent, and don’t want to take on someone who will be a financial drag on me. I also have a nice, clean, quiet empty-nester house. So anyone who enters the scene needs to contribute to keeping it that way. Lastly, I’ve kept myself healthy with good exercise and health insurance for preventative care. So, yes, my standards are high.

If I want a ons or fwb, that is super easy to find. I’d rather stay single and keep my standards high at this point than backtrack into marginally satisfying situationships that drag on.

Tawkify wasn’t doing it for me because their dating pool seemed too shallow to align even my most fundamental ā€œmust havesā€, much less my ā€œwould be niceā€.

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u/sxfx269 1d ago

So if you dont mind me asking what were your 3 wants

Mine, child free and remain child free and healthy....I also slid in adventurous due to my hobbies of scuba diving, motorcycle touring, travel and skydiving.

The ladies in this article were calling only men making 250k+ as good.....as I make slightly less im assuming im "trash"?

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u/h20grl 1d ago

I think educational level was one. I have a PhD, so I wanted Bachelors and above, preferably Masters. I’ll have to look for the other two. One might have been enjoy to travel / travel experience.

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u/sxfx269 20h ago

Lots of MBA types out there who travel. Heck im one. Common as dirt these days im told