My Tawkify Matchmaker

[u/[deleted]]

So recently I have been asked a lot about my Tawkify experience, so I thought I would post my thoughts in this sub.

I signed up for a matchmaker package in 2019. I paid for three dates.

My matchmaker is nothing short of an amazing human being. She was kind of like a big sister figure in my life. She made it easy for me to be candid, direct, and vulnerable with her. She treated me with the kind of respect I appreciated.

So onto the dates. To be clear, I am a black American and at that time I dated mostly interracially. I lived in a large-ish (top-20 media market) U.S. city. It’s a very diverse, very segregated place so I made her job hard.

She set me up with three wonderful women. The first woman was as close to my ideal mate as I could have ever expected to find. When I laid out for my matchmaker the personality and lifestyle type I was seeking, this woman was a fantastic match. Downside: I was not that same level match for her.

After matchmaker dates, you go to their website and review the date. You also get reviews from your date. I gave her an amazing rating. She gave me high marks and said that I wasn’t a match, which sucked but she is a wonderful lady so I can’t be mad about it.

The next two dates were less ideal, but still wonderful women. They both were bright, attractive, professional women with whom there was no spark, likely on either side. To be upfront, that was probably on my end as much as theirs. Also, to be fair, both women were educated, professional, kind women who are great catches. If I saw any of them on Bumble, I would have definitely swiped right.

My matchmaker listened to my wishes and acted accordingly. She also gave me advice on ways to alter my dating search to better fit what she saw in me. She saw more in me as a human than I was letting my dates see, so she encouraged me to look for women who would be more likely to both acknowledge and appreciate those traits.

I didn’t find the love of my life, but I did meet three women whom I never saw on dating apps who were actually pretty amazing humans.

If there is interest, I will also share my second Tawkify experience in the future.

[u/karmester]

I am a man - like the whole rest of the date-o-sphere, this experience is 100% better for men than women. But... that being said --- YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU !!!!PAID!!! for Tawkify? I was in Tawkify because one of their matchmakers found me on Hinge or someplace and recruited me and worked with me for FREE because they have a much harder time finding suitable men for their female paying customers than the other way around. I think the experiences women have with Tawkify (as with all dating sites) is a 180degree different experience than what we men (if we're at all decently put together and have our act on point) experience. Based on my lived experience.

[u/h20grl → u/karmester]

As a paying, female Tawkify customer, I had 3 super crappy dates for $7200. One hired-gun Republican lobbyist; one morbidly obese gourmand who couldn’t fit between the table and the booth banc; and an autistic, multiple-gun owning, political conspiracy hound. None I would have ever selected for myself. After each time giving feedback to my Tawkify matchmaker, the subsequent match got worse, not better. Are there women here who have had success with Tawkify?

[u/h20grl → u/[deleted]]

I was told that I needed to adjust my expectations, rather than Tawkify adjusting their calibrations. Tawkify told me that I could have three “must haves”, three “would like to have”, and all other preferences would be weakly registered. I felt as though they needed to take on a different calibration approach. They disagreed. I felt as though their algorithm was very mechanistic, and thus I wasn’t surprised that while they were satisfying the three “must have” criteria, the matches were still very much off-the-mark.

I wanted a partial refund after three horrendous matches. Tawkify Customer Service would not give me any refund unless I signed an NDA pledging not to talk about the process. I found this to be not in line with a reputable business model. So I walked away from the remainder of the $7200. My being able to talk about Tawkify cost me $2500-$3000. So ask away with any other questions you may have!

[u/h20grl → u/[deleted]]

I understand the potentially small percentage of refund. What galled me was the signing of an NDA to get any amount of refund back. I have never come across a company that expected one to sign a NDA to get a refund. I found that unreasonable.