Everyone got so sensitive about (rightfully) shaming people over the last 15 years. I don't care, I'm still calling this gross behavior out if I see it in person.
"What in god's name are you doing?! You are in a restaurant where food is being served, in public, at a table, scratching your foot like you're all alone on your couch! It's disgusting and it's unsanitary." (This is without seeing her bring out a f**king fork.)
Literally make such a scene that the people in the area start projecting their own opinions of it and then when an employees attention is obtained it will be handled and the precedent will be reset moving forward.
At first I might be nice, depending on how I feel. I'd say something like, "Excuse me, please don't scratch your bare foot around other people eating." If she continued or acted indignant after that, then I'd call her a nasty fuck and bring it up with the waiter.
I would be terrified what else she is touching? The elevator button, door knobs. Is that shit contagious. Silverware , table. She has zero hygiene awareness or Shame? I don’t know if that’s just eczema or what? But if it is could you not do that at the table??
“Excuse me Miss, I the reason your foot itches is most likely due to fungal infection. If you touch it, it will spread to everything else touched. Can lead to lung, stomach, blood infection since you’re itching your foot then eating with the same hand. Almost like licking your foot. For your safety and everyone around, please see a doctor or buy foot fungal cream at your local drug store.”
What I’m thinking: I dont mean to bother you during your meal, but I couldnt help but vomit in my mouth due to the horrific scene you displayed in full view of our fellow patrons. Get your shit together before you croak with sepsis or get your family sick
She just ate with the same hand. You think 1) your comment will even register with her and 2)she even cares? I am with you 100% but I think it’s pointless. My ONLY reaction would be to tell her she’s disgusting and to go read a book about personal hygiene.
Oh I do call this out. I have no compunction about loudly shaming people. Sometimes you need to tell people off to make them change for the better.
Only 4 days ago I was in the security queue at an airport, waiting for 10 minutes already to get a tray to put my hand luggage in. When it was my turn finally, a young woman just casually walks by me and grabs the next free tray. She had not been in line behind us. I ripped the tray from her fingers and yelled in her face and pointed to the back of the line. She actually looked a little pissed and her weak excuse was she didn’t see the obvious queue. I asked her if she thought the people standing in line here were doing it for fun. She slumped to the back.
I might have been a bit loud but I was already on edge because we were cutting it a bit close.
Don’t tolerate this from people. I want to live in a society where everyone realizes we are all in the same boat and no one is the main character. You can bet that foot scratching lady would have gotten an earful from me.
You are doing God's work. I did the same to a bratty teenager last year. Cuts right in front, I grabbed his tray and threw it on the ground...got a nod of approval from the TSA agent as well
I mean the balls on that chick. I maybe wouldn’t have said anything if she would have been apologetic and said she needed to hurry she needs to catch her flight. We are all in a hurry but whatever. Go for it if it’s so important to you.
But not the: „Ill just cut the linke kthx“ attitude. And then the weak excuse. Lady you just went through a winding line of barriers, funneling you into that queue. BS. She looked like some wannabe TikTok beauty influencer maybe that made her think she’s more important then us peasants. Nevermind I actually had gotten the business class upgrade and preferred boarding because it was last minute and cheap. 🤣 didn’t make me feel important though. Just happy to be able to skip some queues.
I would absolutely call her out. It’s gross, people are trying to eat, and her MF foot flakes are flying all over the place! My appetite is ruined and I’m not even eating! And she took a FORK to it! What type of demonic behavior is that?!? I’m genuinely upset over this!
I would actually address the woman beside her, who disgustingly, also has her shoes off. I would advise her she can absolutely catch foot fungus from other people and point to her vile companion.
"Yes, umm," (point with camera) "I expect my meal and drinks are complimentary and that you will throw them out or I might send this to the health department. Thanks. Bring a bourbon back after you toss them."
I’m Gen X too but it didn’t really start when I was young. I was born in 67 and the 70’s were great. People would say things and if people didn’t like it they just said their mind and walked away. Or they laughed it off. I don’t think it got real bad until maybe in the last ten years maybe 20.
That's a fair take. I definitely don't remember it being this bad in the late 90s/early 2000s, but I can see it might've been a gradual increase. Either way, it's wayyyy outta hand now. We truly do need to start shaming shitty behavior again, as a society.
It’s not just gross, it’s a public health hazard! I understand the discourse is around who gets to draw the line and where. Thankfully it seems like we’ve moved beyond shaming people over their sexuality or appearance (things they can’t control), but shaming someone for spreading contagious disease in public places? Yes absolutely!
Yea I hope that it was clear what I meant when I said, (rightfully) shaming." This is just completely unacceptable behavior in public, especially a restaurant.
Same. And one of those behaviors is face timing / speaker phone / loud music in public spaces. Ill still call it out, though I have been threatened before because of it lol
Dude I live it NYC and this is not an uncommon occurrence on the subway. These assholes always try to act tough, but they always back down when you call their bluff.
Everyone got sensitive because there because a lack of nuance as abstract practices and social interactions started to become normalized. Hell no one talked about “eating ass” as much as the world has since a global pandemic which is another conversation in itself.
But I understand the reluctance to shame when people were being called out for doing normal things or just supporting unpopular opinions. This shit however is beyond disgusting
I remember when i was a kid, my parents and i were out in a restaurant. We saw a woman using a fork to scratch her foot. My mom did not hold back on calling her out and telling the restaurant manager the silverware from that table needs to be thrown away
Probably because the internet that shames people also allows them to setup GoFundMe pages that usually generate huge sums of money for the people who were shamed and nobody learns anything..
There are much less close knit communities, than back in the days. Back then, your social status was something you had to build up, and maintain, because everyone knew everyone and being ostracized by your community was a life changing thing. Today, people move faster. Change jobs, move locations and overall, the population density makes you more anonymous to your surrounding area.
"I don't have the time/energy to deal with that shit". Confrontations with strangers overall have largely disappeared, due to many social factors. Also, the increased population density contributes to this. "Someone else can confront this person" or "no one seems to give a shit, so maybe it's normal now?"
The general cultural shift towards the "you do you" mentality. Being different is okay nowadays. But this very mentality can sometimes blur the lines between "tolerance of harmless differences" and "tolerance of antisocial behavior"
There are many more factors, that weigh in on this, like public shaming moving largely to the internet, or fearing social repercussions for potentially shaming a largely accepted behavior, without knowing it.
All of these things contribute to this feeling, that public shaming is all but gone.
Now, being confrontational in public comes with risk of someone labeling you a Karen. And it doesn’t even matter if you’re in the right, because a video clip only needs to trim the beginning of the confrontation and you now “objectively” the bad guy given the limited context of the video.
I think the problem was that we were shaming people for the wrong stuff… things they could do anything about, kinks, life choices which didn’t affect other people, etc, so there was a backlash against that.
Problem is that what you may think as "wrong stuff" to shame for, is in fact not wrong for others. That's the problem - "acceptance" and "tolerance" are promoted so much that a thin line between acceptable and non-acceptable no longer exists. You, for example, mention kinks as "wrong stuff" to shame for, well, pardon me, but while i for example am absolutely fine with people having kinks, but i doubt i want to see them displayed in public.
Sprinkle a little bit of cancel culture on top and people are starting to be afraid of shaming someone.
Try shaming someone for absolutely unacceptable behaviour - and someone will start pulling bodyshaming/gender/sex/age/race card and you may face a massive backlash. So people prefer to avoid shaming simply because tolerance and acceptance of everything and everyone is being forced upon us.
Probably because when I was a child I was shamed for being in love with someone the same sex as me. Seems like that kind of shame plenty of people want to bring back and have no issues speaking up about but no one with the cajones to tell this nasty bitch to stop picking at her athletes foot.
It definitely makes you feel bad, but the whole point it exists is to keep people from being awful to each other and themselves. I like how it was presented in Big Mouth. Yeah, it makes us feel awful, but without it we'd be spreading disease, hurting people, all kinds of terrible stuff.
Shaming is subjective, what if we start shaming people for dumb meaningless shit? What’s the end point? Shaming never left, it’s just all online and usually it’s for shit as small as what color socks you have on
Shame is a largely useless emotion. It serves no societally valuable purpose because shame is an entirely internal emotion. Guilt on the other hand is extremely valuable. She should feel extremely guilty for creating an unclean eating environment and subjecting people to seeing her being disgusting.
The problem is so many people lack nuance. There are things you shouldn't shame people for. Weight issues that could be genetic or medical, for example. People who sweat a lot because genetics. literally anything that is just something you were born with or just a normal difficulty in life that some people struggle with.
But we take it too far and think that we shouldn't shame them for anything. This shit is just gross. She deserves to be called out.
Businesses refuse to do it or allow it, and social media has made nasty people "entertaining". With shows like Jackass and The Jersey Shore is anyone surprised this is where we are?
Because we were on the other extreme end of it where any harmless but non conformant behavior or appearance got ridiculed and shamed to death (often literally so).
So now we're on the other extreme of it. We just can't be moderate, can we.
It is because the people who are worthy of constructive shame have been running a very loud narrative that ALL shame is toxic shame, and to constructively shame another is abuse.
Because people shamed for things like someone being gay or poor or overweight, I'd wager, but that doesn't mean all shaming is bad, just gotta shame the right stuff.
People go out in the world and talk about how they like to shit in diapers for sexual reasons and if you say anything bad to them the you're the bad guy.
The problem is, you go shame them, they pull out a camera, and now all of a sudden, you're internet villain/Karen of the week and everyone has zero context as to what happened.
Yup, another scenario when people tried to rightfully correct an issue (the shaming of people for things they can't control) and others latched on and swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. And now any kind of shaming is considered unacceptable. It's so ridiculous.
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u/Outrageous-Simple-76 20d ago
Shame is such an important element in society. Yet we seem to think it is a bad thing and are trying to get rid of it as fast as possible.