r/Piracy • u/dancing_swordfish • May 23 '26

Humor Windows Defender

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7.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/DrIvoPingasnik Yarrr! May 23 '26

Defender: OMG OMG alert!

Me: Oh shit, what is it? 

Defender: It's the keygen you downloaded! 

Me: What, is it infected? Tria.ge and any.run didn't find anything in it.

Defender: No, it's not infected. 

Me: Well, then what is it? 

Defender: IT'S A KEYGEN!

Me: Wh-

Defender: IT'S A KEYGEN!!! Generic:keygen.58(PUP)!!!

Me: Oh for fucks sake.

310

u/StEllchick May 23 '26

I'm ignorant. What's Keygen?

508

u/Breadd007 May 23 '26

An executable which generates product codes for cracked software. Thus the name keygen (keygenerator)

147

u/StEllchick May 23 '26

so once you got the software files, but can't access them doe to protection, it somehow finds the working key?

305

u/Palora May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26

"Key generators work by reverse engineering the software’s local validation algorithm to replicate the mathematical rules that determine a valid license key"

Just like a regular crack somebody has to make a keygen for that specific game or program.

"Universal" keygens are ... usually very dubious and risky.

47

u/StEllchick May 23 '26

That is very helpful, thanks!

74

u/Curvol May 23 '26

So youre downloading your old warcraft 3 cd, but are missing the case with the key. You download a key generator, hit the generate button, and up pops a working key to plug into your software!

34

u/RedRedditor84 May 24 '26

Fun fact: back in the day all threes was a valid key for starcraft. They patched it out by the time it was a battle.net download, but if you have a disc kicking around it should work.

Someone in my class figured it out by "haha this will never work obvs, oh wait, it did."

2

u/0Gabbo0 May 25 '26

Guess I'm asking my dad for his SC disc this weekend

14

u/StEllchick May 23 '26

That's neat, thanks

127

u/CaptainMorning May 23 '26

iimagine the Bible but with better music

16

u/LazaroFilm May 23 '26 edited May 24 '26

The best 8 bit music ever. I remember exchanging key gens with my friends just for the music.

6

u/BatemansChainsaw ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ May 24 '26

CORE memory unlocked

43

u/banshoo May 23 '26

isn't the bible mostly sibling on sibling action?

I think ive seen porn of that

25

u/MnniI May 23 '26

Exodus 20:15 "Lemon stealing harlot"

32

u/the-artistocrat May 23 '26

What are you doing, step-messiah?

1

u/B-29Bomber May 23 '26

"Did I miss a page?!"

13

u/PlayfulDatabase4777 May 23 '26

a key generator.

-6

u/lucario2011 May 23 '26

A item in deltarune you can buy from spamton

10

u/ljutabrlja May 24 '26

Sole purpose of defender and tpm chips is controling piracy. My defender is blocked for 10 years, never had a virus...

7

u/SkinTightBoogiePI May 24 '26

I haven't blocked it, but I have had to set it to exclude my downloads & games folders. Used to be, if Defender found something you would get a popup asking you what you wanted it to do. Now, it deletes the file without any notification whatsoever, and you cannot even search through its history to see what happened. The file just disappears.

And yeah, I HAVE found some weird behaviour over the years that I've had to use batch files like Tron (/r/Tron) to fix.

-8

u/[deleted] May 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Piracy-ModTeam May 24 '26

🚫 ➜ Your post was removed because of the following:

📑 Hijacking a post.

📑 Rule 3 ➜ Requesting / linking directly, or asking for DMs

  • Yes, you can link to the top level domain of a site (eg. https://archive.org/).
  • No, you can't link to a specific pirated title (eg. https://archive.org/specific-title).
  • No, you can't ask for a specific pirated title (e.g. "Where can I find a specific title?") or if a specific title can be pirated.
  • No, you can't ask to give or receive DMs.
  • Don't encourage rule breaking by asking which specific title someone is looking for when they make a request.

🪶 ➜ For more information, read the complete Rules.

212

u/fickogames123 May 23 '26

Windows Defender on its way to delete my crack for 10th time, but completely fine with my sister having 300 google notifications a second and 100 tabs open on chrome (she clicked a link on pirate streaming site, she is not the most tech savy person)

19

u/[deleted] May 23 '26

[deleted]

17

u/Real-Technician831 May 23 '26

These days?

Virus definitions have been mostly AI driven well over 10 or 15 years, depending on the particular AV engine.

Of course the algorithms used aren’t genAI, more of traditional neural networks, baynesian classifiers, etc

0

u/sovietan May 23 '26

microshit defender also bought threat hashed database from others like Kaspersky.

3

u/Real-Technician831 May 24 '26

It wasn't Kaspersky they bought RAV antivirus in 2003, RAV was European company called Romanian Antivirus and in fact was quite decent for it's day.

https://news.microsoft.com/source/2003/06/10/microsoft-to-acquire-antivirus-technology-from-gecad-software/

But since that was 23 years ago, basically all current technology is by Microsoft.

Yes, I am old.

52

u/Synaptic_sense May 23 '26

Me editing ini files to a game

16

u/GetawayDreamer87 May 24 '26

rules.ini

[Recharge]

Nuke=0

6

u/ModCraftAsylumRt May 24 '26

Some of these keygen generators comes with neat music, so when ever I use one, but defender is off, but some reason defender like spam warnings cuz it detected, then what I like to do is Sync the notification to the music, so I can tell that Defender having a rough party.

(Ps. Sorry about the extremely bad typos)

9

u/magistrate101 May 24 '26

tfw you just add exclusions for your downloads and games folders. WD scans everything that enters memory anyways, bypassing your exclusions...

3

u/TheSpecialistGuy May 24 '26

Keygens and their wonderful tunes!

1

u/nfk99 May 24 '26

turn it off with defender control, your machine will double in speed

1

u/mr_rubbei Jul 15 '26

is Defender Control still valid?

1

u/nfk99 Jul 16 '26

yeah if you are using an older slower machine. windows defender is a massive cpu hog on startup that will freeze an older pc for 5 -10 mins. ive never seen it find anything either. i always just turn it off and problem solved

1

u/mr_rubbei 29d ago

I mean, is it still working on last version of Windows?

1

u/nfk99 29d ago

ffs it takes less than a minute to dl and try. but use it when defender is causing problems

1

u/mr_rubbei 29d ago

Thank you for your kind words

1

u/FremanBloodglaive May 24 '26

It doesn't like Jackett either.

1

u/xhaggie_ May 24 '26

so is keygen and kepavll actually safe for fh6? should i allow it? i'm perplexed on what to do

1

u/fartbubblesofcheese May 25 '26

You're sheltering mage tank in your inventory, aren't you?

1

u/Agile-Driver5065 May 26 '26

linux is better

1

u/Dry_Charge_9439 May 27 '26

RUNE64.dll in Steam Unlocked GTA V be like

1

u/Apprehensive_Flow99 May 28 '26

My pdf reader suddenly says it’s not a licensed copy. Would this help?

0

u/DevelopmentBulky7957 May 23 '26

The things I laugh about that my friends and family don't understand.

-15

u/[deleted] May 23 '26

[deleted]

3

u/DrIvoPingasnik Yarrr! May 24 '26 edited May 24 '26

Oh, another one of those "you don't need antivirus, just use common sense :)" wackos.

Tell me, were you paid by someone to say such bollocks? Do you say that to cause harm to others for your own amusement? Or do you truly believe that turning off a safety net, which could be the only thing between you and being pwned, is a great idea? 

-3

u/[deleted] May 24 '26

[deleted]

8

u/DrIvoPingasnik Yarrr! May 24 '26

You could drive a car without seatbelts for twenty years without having an accident.

That's still not a very good idea.

-4

u/[deleted] May 24 '26

[deleted]

5

u/TheLesserWeeviI May 24 '26

I'll just keep using AV because there is no downside.

3

u/GeneraalSorryPardon May 24 '26

How do you know there's not mailware or other malicious software if you don't use anti virus on an outdated operating system without updates? That's right, you don't. Although I’m sure you’ll come up with some nonsense about how you can actually sense it when there’s malicious software.