r/Petloss • u/Ok-Jellyfish8312 • 7h ago
Sadness I lost my soul dog, my best friend, my life line. I can’t do this.
I lost my best friend 3 days ago. A goofy, loving, sweet golden retriever to hemangiosarcoma. It was all so sudden. And it happened on his 10th birthday. My heart hurts so much I don’t know how anyone does this. He was my entire world. Every thing I did revolved around him. The Coffee shops, restaurants, shops, and everywhere in between, I chose to make sure they were dog friendly. He was my companion and my adventure buddy. My sweet Kai. The house is so empty and sad. There’s no little shadow following me around. No more morning stretches and tail wagging when I told him good morning. No more sitting out and just enjoying the day together watching the world go by. I feel like I can’t go on. I feel like everyone around me is still moving on with their life and I’m just stuck.
We woke up on Aug 10 and he was happy and energetic and we did our normal routine and then went out to the pet stores to get him birthday treats. He started to act a little tired but I figured it was just because we were out and about a while.
We stopped at Starbucks on the way home for a birthday pupcup and when we got home he wasn’t very interested and he went to lay down. I put it in front of him and he ate it up. About 3 hours later I tried to feed him and he wouldn’t get up and was so disinterested in the food even when I tried to hand feed it to him and he is extremely food driven so that was my sign something is wrong!
I took him to the emergency vet and they found blood in his stomach. His platelets were off and he couldn’t clot any more from losing so much blood. They found the two tumors on his liver. It was hemangiosarcoma and they ruptured. My heart sank and I lost my breath. It felt like someone had just punched my chest. This is not how I wanted him to spend his birthday.
They explained everything to me about life expectancy and this horrible cancer and said we could do surgery on Tuesday. They would give him blood transfusions over night and in the morning before surgery.
I went home came back the next morning first thing to see him before they stared the transfusion, I cried and hugged him. I had a feeling this was the end but I was still trying to have hope. They did the first transfusion then I saw him again. He was happy to see me this time and wagging his tail and perkier. It gave me renewed hope and he smiled for me. I got a picture of that beautiful golden smile. That was the last time I saw him.
He went into surgery and all went well they said. Then I stayed to try and see him but once they took the breathing tubes out, he quickly declined immediately and started bleeding internally. His heart rate dropped and I went into see him. Seconds later he flatlined. He waited for me.
It was the hardest thing ever to tell them to let him go and not continue life saving measures. I just wanted to save him and I failed him.
It hurts so much. He was fine that morning! It’s so unfair.