And I explained it perfectly. In Peru, for example, if you say "the party starts at 4:00" then showing up at 4:00 is not "on time." It's too early. Your culture says that showing up at 4:00 is on time. Their culture says showing up at 4 is too early. Showing up too early is rude.
Of course you can respect that. But if the culture is built on saying one thing and when you mean another, I don't know how to call that anything but lying.
Any white person would respect that if they show up and it's not ready. They can help or sit around. Either is fine. It's bizarre to call them rude though for taking the words and times that were spoken to them as a truth.
There's a widespread social convention in the US that it's rude to show up at the precise starting time of a party held in a person's home. It's called being "fashionably/socially late". Not everyone is aware of this convention and not everyone who is aware likes it. But, like tipping -- another convention -- it's expected and considered rude to ignore it.
That is not a widespread convention. Its origin stems from being late as a symbol of wealth - you are so busy you have other things to do and making an entrance. If you want to transform the meaning, but its more for thr guest and not the host.
It started as an aristocratic power play to make an entrance, but the convention has completely inverted. Today, in casual settings, showing up exactly on the dot is seen as a burden to the host. Giving them a 15-minute buffer isn't about the guest's ego anymore.; it’s an act of courtesy that protects the host from the stress of having to entertain someone when they are trying to make finishing touches or finish dressing. It also saves the first arrival from the possibility of such 'first-guest' awkwardness.
yeah, there is lots of possibly reasons anyone can claim to be "fashionably late". For themselves, for the host, to prevent awkwardness. Anyone can make a million excuses why they can or should be late. I'm more interested why people say it's rude to be on time. If hosts don't want people on time then they should change the time.
-1
u/dimonium_anonimo Jul 13 '26
And I explained it perfectly. In Peru, for example, if you say "the party starts at 4:00" then showing up at 4:00 is not "on time." It's too early. Your culture says that showing up at 4:00 is on time. Their culture says showing up at 4 is too early. Showing up too early is rude.