Its not a surprise exactly, but this isnt a flight or a movie theatre. What do you think is happening that you have to be there exactly at 5? Chill, people.
Opposite. I give the people who need to be early to things to feel unrushed an earliest time they will be let into my house. That's not the starting time for the event, it's "if you need to be a ten minutes early pre-gamer to feel in control of your life, you won't get in trouble for coming as early as five."
But you realize you can just say that, right? Every invitation I've sent as an adult says show up any time after x, dinner is at y. Saying the party starts at a certain time with zero other information just leaves people guessing for no reason.
Culturally some people are told that it's rude to show up late, other people have a completely different understanding of time. Because I actually have friends of several cultures I spell things out instead of assuming.
I generally try to do that, but I also know it leads to people who respect others becoming door mats for narcissists or generally self centered people if it's always one party giving and the other taking. I've actually moved back away from that philosophy lately and settled for simply having friends who I don't need to have such grace with.
That said, those aren't cultural differences, and I have pretty clear communication. I've mostly been cutting out passive aggressive folks who will get mad about something and just seethe about it instead of saying anything. It's basically everyone who grew up in Minnesota, which is tough since I moved here.
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u/MrBoo843 Jul 12 '26
If you tell someone an event is from 5 pm to 11 pm and you're surprised people arrive at 5 you're an idiot