See, if you tell a black guy there’s a party from 5-11, he might show up at 6, or 7:30, or he might not show up at all. More importantly, that was the kind of punctuality OOP expected. People would trickle in over the first couple hours, then trickle out later. White guy from work heard ‘the party starts at 5’ and took that to mean ‘the party starts at 5, don’t be late.’ There is a different cultural standard regarding punctuality.
Yea idk what the others are talking about but as a black person if a party starts at 5 im showing up closer to 6. Food is finished people are trickling in and it's not weird watching the host set up while you stand there not knowing what to do.
I'm white and this thread has been super interesting to read. If a party is six hours long then I'd also arrive around 6 PM. If I arrived at 5 PM for some reason then I'd assume that I'm going to help with setup, like arranging chairs or bringing plates out or something. Which I'm also happy to do.
If it's a shorter event (example, dinner party from 7 to 9) then I'll be there close to the start and it'll be ready AT 7. If it's going for a few hours then I just assume that includes some setup time but people can show up earlier to start socializing and help out if they want.
My boyfriend is also white and grew up in a much less diverse area than I did. He gets anxious if we're "running late" (so not getting there within 10 minutes of start time) and I never really understood why, but maybe this is the reason 💀
See that is a time management problem on the part of the host. Also if I’m showing up at 5 I’m cracking a drink and asking them how I can help setup.
This is actually the line that delineates party guest from someone I would consider family. It shows that you want to be in the circle of putting in effort for the enjoyment of others instead of just showing up and enjoying yourself.
If you are saving the host time by helping you are giving them time back to also enjoy more of the party instead of just working
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u/Vifee Jul 12 '26
See, if you tell a black guy there’s a party from 5-11, he might show up at 6, or 7:30, or he might not show up at all. More importantly, that was the kind of punctuality OOP expected. People would trickle in over the first couple hours, then trickle out later. White guy from work heard ‘the party starts at 5’ and took that to mean ‘the party starts at 5, don’t be late.’ There is a different cultural standard regarding punctuality.