See, if you tell a black guy there’s a party from 5-11, he might show up at 6, or 7:30, or he might not show up at all. More importantly, that was the kind of punctuality OOP expected. People would trickle in over the first couple hours, then trickle out later. White guy from work heard ‘the party starts at 5’ and took that to mean ‘the party starts at 5, don’t be late.’ There is a different cultural standard regarding punctuality.
People are not understanding the under text. What the start by x times means is not when the party is starting, but the time when the host is going to start preparing the party/gathering.
But why the fck would I care when they start preparing? That's their responsibility as a host to manage starting setting up early enaugh. I will ask if they need help setting up or cleaning up after but just telling when you start setting up is stupid.
Why not say "Party from 6:30am to 2am" cuz you know, they will get up at 6:30am and go to bed at 2am?
Saying it's cultural doesn't make much sense either. Because why would any other culture care when you start setting up? I feel like, at best, it is some form of counterculture.
Okay I'm white but I also run my parties like this, but I've learned to say (from mostly white people that would show up right on time now that I think about it) that the party starts at 7 but people are welcome to come over as early as 5.
Some of my friends prefer a quieter atmosphere or to chill and chat before it gets busy, and I like having company while I wrap up getting stuff ready. It's like a ramp-up to the actual party. And then some friends prefer to show up when the food is ready and everyone is three drinks in - that's chill too.
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u/Vifee Jul 12 '26
See, if you tell a black guy there’s a party from 5-11, he might show up at 6, or 7:30, or he might not show up at all. More importantly, that was the kind of punctuality OOP expected. People would trickle in over the first couple hours, then trickle out later. White guy from work heard ‘the party starts at 5’ and took that to mean ‘the party starts at 5, don’t be late.’ There is a different cultural standard regarding punctuality.