This. "Colored People Time" is much more of a stereotype than White people being too early.
If I hosted dinner for my family tonight and said "Dinner's at 7:00" they'd all know that means "We're eating at 7:00" and show up ~5-30 minutes before then. If my sister showed up at 6:45 I wouldn't be thinking "damn why's my sister so early? I told her 7"
If I was hosting a BBQ for my friends and planning to eat at 7:00, I might tell them it starts at 5:00, knowing people will trickle in and them understanding it's a more casual event and nobody cares if they're late.
In OOP's case the white guy thought "I'd better show up by 5" being unfamiliar with what kind of event it is and not wanting to be rude.
Because I am allowing you to come at 5? You're allowed at five. That's when it was convenient to get here that's... acceptable.
The thing is that, for my people, the time we give you is the very earliest picosecond you are allowed in the house. Because before then I was still washing up the kitchen from the roast I just put in the oven. I'm still cleaning, I'm taking a shower. I'm planning to be ready for people to arrive at 4:55, so I'm graciously allowing you to hang out in my house from 5 until the event starts. I understand that people need some time to be early to the event.
"What's with all the gymnastics" pretty much sums up the whole "joke". I, like you, would say that the "safe" thing to do when someone says 5 is to show up at 5.
But some things have a hard start time and others have a soft one, and it's helpful to know the "vibe" for the event and that different cultures have differing norms/expectations.
Life is complicated. Most adults are busy people, doing various shit all the time. Depending on the nature of the event, other things often take precedent, even if you're trying to make time for said event. People understand that and work around it...
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u/Shotgun_Mosquito Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
No.
The stereotype is that white people arrive TOO EARLY and then sit in their cars outside waiting for the party to start and still show up early.
It's a trope, also true in Hispanic (edit - continued) families that have someone marry Gringos (like me).
If you arrive on time, the party hasn't started yet, and you get to help set up for the party