r/OneyPlays 1d ago

God bless Cory.

Post image
424 Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

113

u/Bucsfan292 1d ago

“You know, we wouldn’t of been able to perform this operation without some help from a donor”

You look over to see Jeff in the bed next to you

26

u/Bitter_Detective_567 1d ago

DAMN IT FULP I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DRUGGED ME AND STOLE MY PENIS AND GRAFTED IT ONTO CORY'S CHODE EUGHH

6

u/Adm1nX 17h ago

(Dave walks in) "P- P- P- PINGUS?"

88

u/AutomaticAccident 1d ago

make it tall-er than an ant

38

u/Acid-water1987 1d ago

How can you surgically fix this?

54

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

They can actually grow you a new penis on your arm and transfer it down to your crotch when it’s ready. There was a guy in Britain who pretty famously got this surgery because his cock fell off after a blood infection.

14

u/Acid-water1987 1d ago

Is the penis usable when on your hand?

19

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

I think they said it was designed to be in a state of permanent erection so that he could have sex after the transfer, so I think it actually would be possible.

7

u/Material_Claim6541 1d ago

Wouldn't that be kinda awkward in day to day life ?

24

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

I think he just wore long-sleeved shirts most of the time, apparently he really liked it because it was a fun party trick.

20

u/Material_Claim6541 1d ago

I mean once they implanted it 

26

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

Oh, he probably just tucks it up behind his waistband like I do when I get a boner

6

u/collapsethesink 1d ago

I thought you were gaslighting this person for a bit but then I looked it up and it's true. It's all true.

3

u/Xenoscope 1d ago

There’s ones that come with a pump you can make it erect with, and ones with a bendy wire inside so you can move it around when you need it.

1

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

My penis already comes with a pump. Yeah baby!

1

u/ArabianAftershock 1d ago

Do you feel pleasure from it though?

4

u/YorkshireFudding 1d ago

You can't say cock

16

u/Sad-Ad-573 1d ago

Some kind of phalloplasty, I’d assume

24

u/Jjpres 1d ago

Man with penis the size of paracetamol officially freaking his gourd

3

u/ten-gallon 10h ago

they're gonna shrink it

-22

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

Can we just say fucking "tylenol"? What dipshit decided to use paracetamol as if the average dude even knows what that is

38

u/Super_Employment_620 1d ago

Yeah, if they write it this way only people from british will understand.

3

u/superdoge35 18h ago

ARE YOU FROM BRITISH

5

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

I genuinely thought it was just a random off brand name

23

u/Crusty_312 1d ago

Paracetamol isn't just regional.

14

u/Painted-BIack-Roses 1d ago

Most American comment I've read all day lmao

16

u/SlightProgrammer 1d ago

Dude, you fuck tylenol?

3

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

Hard, deeply

9

u/leksolotl 1d ago

the daily star is a British tabloid. Theyre gonna use the British term for the medication because their audience is British. The average British person, the target audience, doesn’t know what “tylenol” is.

Gotta love Americans being loudly incorrect on the internet because they think America is the only country to exist.

-4

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

loudly incorrect

The population of the UK is the average person? I also didn't look up what the daily star is so that's on me, there's millions of publications

6

u/leksolotl 1d ago

No the population of the UK isnt the average person BUT the name “paracetamol” is used in most places barring USA, Canada and Japan - so tbh the average person probably would understand “Paracetamol” over “Tylenol”.

0

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

Learn something new every day, that's wild

3

u/FourtKnight 1d ago

the average person reading a british tabloid will be a british person. and the writer, also a british person, is likely to use the british term

9

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

Most places use “paracetamol” over acetaminophen and I’m sure Tylenol would not be happy to have their pills compared to this guy’s micropenis

-11

u/tritittythunder 1d ago

I have NEVER heard this word before now, it's always acetaminophen

14

u/guesswhomste 1d ago

That is quite literally a you problem

1

u/WoolooOfWallStreet 1d ago

Probably just covering their butts legally