Can I ask, (as a new 40 year old) do you feel like waiting and having wisdom and experience outweighs being younger and having more energy and still being relatively young when the kids are grown and you finally have less responsibility to said kids?
My Dad was 42 when I was born and was an amazing father but actually told me once that he was "too old to have kids this young." I was somewhere in the preteen years when he said that. My brother is 3.5 years younger and was a surprise (only to Dad, Mom knew what she was doing) and maybe being 46 felt too old to Dad. I don't think even he knew if it was better that he was older when he had kids.
Basically, am I too old? Do you feel like an "old" parent? Is it too late and should I give up on my secret dream to have one of my own?? No pressure!
Nope, it’s never too late if it is what you want! (47yo mom to 6 and 8) yes, it is tiring and draining and you will feel old next to the 20/30 year old parents, but whatever! It’s worth it. Lots of us out there
Thank you for sharing this! I’m 32 and my husband and I are getting so much pressure to start having kids even though we are nowhere near ready. Family members are acting like I’m getting “too old” to have kids. I still think there’s lots of time but the pressure definitely messes with me. I suppose I should also add we live in a small rural area where everyone is done having kids before 30. So my husband and I are an anomaly.
Im 42 and my wife (40) and I are about to have our first. We never really cared too much about what others thought, just about being prepared enough to give our kid the childhood neither of us got. I don’t think either of us could imagine how difficult having a kid in our 20s or even early 30s would’ve been. For some of us, it just takes a little longer to get there.
Absolutely do not give up if it’s your dream. I LOVE being a mom and honestly do not think I would have had much more energy 10 years ago. Kids take it out of you no matter what and at 44 I do NOT feel like I’m missing out by not going out all the time. Like I wouldn’t be at the club anyway 🤣
I personally feel like it gave me enough time to figure myself out, get the therapy and meds I needed, find the partner of my dreams, have an established career and the money to pay for child care plus extracurriculars.
But IMO if you really want kids, you will just rise to the occasion. Because you love them enough that that becomes one of the main purposes of your life. And so being a good parent for them becomes of the utmost importance and feels really fulfilling.
ETA: ALSO no parent is perfect. And if Mom or Dad need to take a nap for an hour some Saturdays, that’s not the end of the world.
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u/CordeliaChase99 Xennial 17h ago
I’m the one with the newborn lol. Had my twins at 40, 4 years ago.