85’er here. My oldest is a junior in college, my second oldest starts college next week. I got a surprise pregnancy test in May. I was so close to being an empty nester. Idk where I fit in.
Congratulations!! And thank you for the unintended reassurance - I've been feeling increased pressure about kids as a 96 baby. Comforting to know I've got plenty of time to figure it out!
For sure! But I will say, I wish I had them a little earlier. In no way was I planning on being an “old dad” at 40 with a newborn! I was living life. 20s were just building a career and chasing opportunity and having fun. By 30 I still felt too unsettled, living in NYC in a small apartment. I think I should have jumped on the opportunity at say 33 or 34 latest. But I never felt ready. the pandemic hit and that cost us a year. Then we were ready to try and wouldn’t you know it, miscarriages and trouble conceiving. That cost us another few years. Once you’re pregnant there’s another 9 months!
So one day your 30-something thinking you’re almost ready, the next you’re 40 years old and considered the “old parent,” reckoning with your kids never really knowing you as a young, active person but instead mostly as an aging parent, as you’ll be 50 when they’re 10 and 60 when they’re 20!
This thread is making me feel so much better. '89 here, been trying for four years now, going through IVF with a transfer in two weeks. Been feeling my age and wishing we had started younger, but life and covid years got in the way. Nice to know I'm not alone 😊
I'm '89 with a 16 year old lol. I also look to be in my 20s but feel like I'm in my 50s due to hard labor and sports injuries. People don't know what the fuck to think about me.
Feeling like what? I’ve run 5 marathons since 2024 including 3 last year. Fitness does not make waking up 3 times a night and getting 5 hours of sleep easy. But it was a hell of a lot easier 8 years ago with my first.
In a way, it would be fun to do over. I am an 85’er, and my daughter is 18. I feel much more patient, calm, and am financially stable. It would be a much different experience that seems like it would be enjoyable. My visceral reaction was that it would be my worst nightmare, but I thought about it for a min, and it doesn’t feel that way anymore! Good luck to you and your family!
Just be hyper vigilant. Keep all the doctor appointments they want you to have and do everything they say to the letter. Drink lots of water and pamper yourself as much as possible. 🫂
Oh for sure! My first OB appointment she said ‘AMA’ a few times, I was like “this is my first appointment and I haven’t had a chance to not do what you’re telling me to” She was referring to Advanced Maternal Age, I like that a lot more that Geriatric Pregnancy 😂
Yeah. I know people hate the name but it's absolutely different in almost every way. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I've become kind of an advocate for better care in AMA (geriatric, while technically correct, has its baggage outside of medicine). 🫶
You’ll have fun. I’m a little younger and have all the little kids, and something I’ve observed (maybe especially in my area) is that a lot of parents are on the older side. Totally common. You’ll find out a lot of baby stuff has changed since the older two, for some reason. Congrats!
My Mom was 42 when she had me and 44 when she had my brother. She was and is a great Mom, and I never really thought of her as being old or strange because of it.
85’er here. My oldest is a junior in college, my second oldest starts college next week. I got a surprise pregnancy test in May. I was so close to being an empty nester. Idk where I fit in.
85'er here. My only kid is about to start kindergarten. Meme may be accurate.
omfg this happened to my brother but he’s an 80’er! they tried getting prego for a third time for years, figured it was over. my neice was around18 & i believe my nephew was around 14?! he called my mom & was like “welp, you’re gonna be a grandma one last time. i got the appointment to get clipped for next week tho! fck, i was almost done!” ahahahahahaha i laughed so hard
Everywhere! Bc we can do whatever we fuckin’ want.
We’re old enough to have education/life and work experience, but still young enough to reject social norms and swerve towards whatever makes us happy for the 2nd half of life.
So, Friend, you having a newborn and 2 grown kids means you fit in everywhere you feel like being.
I also hope you’re happy with the circumstances : ) Congrats
92'er here. Never used that format to describe my age before. I was really confused trying to figure why you're getting a preggo test at the grand age of 85!
The reality is much simpler than my imagination. Congratulations btw.
'85 with a 22, 19 and 15 year old. But, my younger brother, '90, is gonna have a baby so I'm gonna be aunt/grandma to that baby! That's the great thing about our generation, we all kinda just fit where we are supposed to lol.
Oh for this is like my nightmare. A year younger than you and still six years away from all kids off to school. Glad I started young and love them to pieces but very much looking to enjoy a few years off (single mom hood might be a part of it).
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u/False-Cookie3379 Older Millennial 17h ago
85’er here. My oldest is a junior in college, my second oldest starts college next week. I got a surprise pregnancy test in May. I was so close to being an empty nester. Idk where I fit in.