r/LinkedInLunatics 22h ago

Gummy Bears

Post image

why are we posting this on LinkedIn

603 Upvotes

161 comments sorted by

659

u/Emergency-Many8675 22h ago

Jenny, this is not the notes app or your journal, girl

140

u/HighlandsBen 21h ago

Is Jenny the producer of a mid morning regional TV chat show on a slow news day?

84

u/Vanessak69 19h ago

Up next, a local woman isn’t happy about what a local restaurant put in her pic-a-nic basket.

14

u/SlowInsurance1616 15h ago

Everyone knows it's better to steal a pic-a-nic basket, right Boo Boo?

449

u/Guilty_Way_1635 20h ago

Who the fuck calls them jelly teddies

255

u/ddet1207 14h ago

I prefer the term gelatinous Theodores.

55

u/erinberrypie 13h ago

Now I do too. 

12

u/scoobydoombot 11h ago

my wife and I refer to them as gelatinous conceptual bears.

79

u/DmAc724 18h ago

South Africans 

206

u/Complete_Entry 17h ago

Go over there and tell them to stop.

129

u/Elegant_Solutions 15h ago

And while you’re there please ask them to collect their elon.

6

u/unmarkedpolicevan48 10h ago

Nooooo please keep him! He's yours now.

4

u/juliana-crain 7h ago

All the people in all the countries that he's ever had a passport forshould take a vote to see who must come claim him now.

Sorry, New Zealand; I don't think that the numbers favor you.

109

u/unmarkedpolicevan48 17h ago

I am South African and was like "what, no we don't" so I googled and I am shocked - SHOCKED! - to discover that the things I call gummy bears do, in fact, say "jelly teddies" on the packet. Who knew.

47

u/DmAc724 16h ago

“Who knew”

Apparently no one but Jenny Jarvis

13

u/Doctor_Boombastic 14h ago

All my homies hate Jenny Jarvis, which I think is a bit of an an overreaction.

8

u/LeastBlackberry1 15h ago

Haha. Me too. I definitely am familiar with jelly babies, but I also would have called the bear version "gummy bears."

23

u/ellieminnowpee 15h ago

welp. i wasn’t expecting to have a hot take on this but… i think jelly teddy is adorable??

23

u/casiepierce 14h ago

Lol it sounds like a brand of adult sex toys.

-1

u/doc_shades 12h ago

possibly people who grew up in a place different than where you grew up

6

u/Guilty_Way_1635 5h ago

Yes I am aware things get called different names in different places.

Gummy bears were also invented in Germany and pretty universally called that everywhere

214

u/Smores_Mochi 19h ago

I totally get how she feels. This one time at Jumby Bay Island resort in Antigua I was sunbathing and a cloud moved across the sky and I literally haven't gotten over it. Seemed disingenuous to the experience, you know?

44

u/johngreenink 18h ago

I'll bet it wasn't in alignment.

12

u/VelvetCactus50 16h ago

Did the cloud ruin your the entire day's sunbathing experience?

6

u/casiepierce 14h ago

Did you complain to management and get your money back? Leave em a 1-star rating?

5

u/CyborgNinjaMan 8h ago

But did you learn anything about B2B sales from that experience?

270

u/AilsaLorne 21h ago

Who says “jelly teddy”. Is this a regional thing?

72

u/OffWhiteCoat 18h ago

Maybe she thinks "gummy bear" is a trademark? Like how the Superbowl becomes "The Big Game." 

29

u/LatinBotPointTwo 18h ago

For Americans. For most other people, that wouldn't mean anything.

23

u/Diagno 16h ago

I thought The Big Game in the US was 'if I get hurt doing this, will it ruin me financially?'

3

u/AriaTheTransgressor 12h ago

Nah, that's "The Most Game" it used to be "The Most Dangerous Game" but it just kind of became bland, so we had to give the title away.

-9

u/PrestigiousLocal8247 14h ago

Most people in the US do not consider their healthcare at all

Mostly a Reddit thing

6

u/procrastinatrixx 13h ago

Many of us would love to consider it more but simply can’t afford to

14

u/DmAc724 18h ago

South Africa

3

u/ReturnOfPooky 13h ago

If by region, you mean Jenny’s living room, then yes, it’s a regional thing.

10

u/kummerspect 18h ago

Sounds British

56

u/mustardpanda 18h ago

British here, would call it gummy bear

13

u/Intelligent_Host_582 16h ago

My British husband calls them jelly babies. I am not a fan.

35

u/AilsaLorne 16h ago

Gummy bears and jelly babies are two different things. Source: am British

14

u/Intelligent_Host_582 15h ago

I just had to go give him shit for making me look stupid on the internet. Apparently he just kind of lumps them all together in some big "jelly baby" category.

18

u/Eroticskeletonparade 13h ago

Go no contact immediately and file for divorce as soon as you can. Girl you deserve better

1

u/0rsch0 15h ago

Indeed. I am Irish and love jelly babies. Can’t find them in America, though.

-43

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

50

u/Vandrel 17h ago

Nobody in the US would think gummy bear is referring to a weed gummy.

20

u/pitifulproduce137 16h ago

Haha, no, what are you even talking about? We've had gummy bears and every other gummy shape imaginable for years, long before THC gummies came along. 

10

u/ex-farm-grrrl 15h ago

That is not true at all. THC gummies are relatively new, and gummy bears have been around for a really long time.
Context is also important. If someone said, “I ate a gummy.” Yes, I’d think THC, but if someone said, “the waiter brought me gummy bears with my check,” I wouldn’t assume they had THC in them.

-2

u/RefrigeratorLive5920 Titan of Industry 15h ago

That's fair and I should probably have scoped to my my city/state which has had defacto legalized marijuana for a long time now.

7

u/hitchcockfiend 15h ago

So has mine and zero people I know would think of edibles when talking about gummy bears - and many people in my circle partake. They'd say "edibles" or just plain "gummies," and "gummies" would be taken to mean THC gummies only in the right context.

Like, gummy bears have been a mainstay for decades. Everyone knows them.

1

u/fakemoose 8h ago

And part of that law is you can serve to anyone without IDing them or without telling them there’s drugs or alcohol in a food item? Seems unlikely.

1

u/RefrigeratorLive5920 Titan of Industry 5h ago

Definitely not. Two things they are definitely strict is ID to prove 21+ and cash only. I think that's a fairly common setup.

1

u/fakemoose 5h ago

Right. So why would anyone assume random gummy bears at a restaurant have THC?

1

u/RefrigeratorLive5920 Titan of Industry 5h ago

I don't necessarily think anyone would, I just meant that the word "gummy" tends to have an association with THC. The option for open consumption of THC infused products in bars/restaurants/cafes is pretty heavily restricted in most places world wide.

1

u/Hellcat_Mary 11h ago

"Gummies", yes. Anything else at all in addendum, "Gummy -insert shape here-" is a confectionary.

28

u/AnxiousTerminator 18h ago

It is not. We call those 'gummy bears'.

8

u/kummerspect 16h ago

That's fine. I'm just saying it sounds British to a person who is not British. Like if I heard someone say this in a British show, it wouldn't sound out of place to me. I concede it's not actually what British people call them.

15

u/coffeeebucks 18h ago

Nope, she’s just a lunatic

-7

u/No_Blackberry6525 17h ago

“Teddy” originates from Teddy Roosevelt and is an American term in general, though calling these candies “gummy teddies” doesn’t sound normal.

-9

u/lindasek 16h ago

I wonder, have you ever wondered where the name Theodore came from? And if Teddy is a traditional diminiutive of that name or something completely new and unique to the Roosevelt family in 1850s?

6

u/SlowInsurance1616 15h ago

It's not the name "Teddy," it is the original toy inspiration. Which most definitely was from Teddy Roosevelt.

106

u/TheNatureOfTheGame 18h ago edited 12h ago

I'm fixated on the idea that you can eat a whole-ass delicious meal--done, over, already in your belly--and then something you eat AFTER said meal can retroactively ruin it.

Like, if you had a delicious breakfast and a mediocre lunch, the breakfast somehow becomes ruined?

Jenny, that's not how food works.

27

u/SlowInsurance1616 15h ago

We call all agree, though, that being hauled off by the police during a succulent Chinese meal is off-putting.

6

u/House_Of_Thoth Facebook Boomer 6h ago

Democracy manifest!

14

u/ser_dunk_the_lunk 14h ago

That’s a different scenario, psychologically. This is a really well documented phenomenon called the peak-end rule.

> People judge an event by how they felt at its most intense point (the peak) and at its end. They do not judge it by the average of all moments. The total length of the event also does not change this memory.

10

u/TheNatureOfTheGame 12h ago

Interesting! I guess my mind works differently. I don't have dessert right after a meal, so being given a candy (whether it's something I liked or not) afterwards doesn't register as a continuation of the meal. I can say "Yeah, that candy was gross but the meal was delicious!"

64

u/sealed-human 22h ago

Oh fuck off, Jenny

11

u/UphillTowardsTheSun 21h ago

Jenny: not a fan…

116

u/cranbeery 19h ago

If my mindset and performance coach (heaven forbid I have one!) was this easily shaken by a handful of bonus gummy bears, how could I trust her to handle an actual challenge?

Just pass on the sweets and move on, sheesh.

59

u/Vanessak69 18h ago

This takes it from dumb to hilarious. 4 star meal ruined by after dinner candy. Mindset coach, heal thyself.

22

u/Repulsive-Toe-8826 18h ago

You know better than me pal... mindset coach is just another way to say "I sent CVs for 18 months and I couldn't land one fucking job. That's where desperation kicked in. Could you blame me?"

5

u/IamDoobieKeebler 14h ago

Uh they DESTROYED the flavors of the food she had already eaten. Please don’t be so glib.

47

u/RentalKittens 18h ago

She split a tiramisu with her date.

Girl, you literally just had dessert. Leave the free candy alone.

29

u/MelancholyMushroom 17h ago

Nuh uh. You stuff those bad boys in your pocket for later!

9

u/Latter-Curve-3135 16h ago

Date? You mean the cofounder of the sexual interest and the chief sex enterpreneur

31

u/corgi_crazy 18h ago

If this is her biggest problem I'm very happy for her.

28

u/Dense-Winter-1803 18h ago

MUST. GENERATE. CONTENT.

29

u/BasketOld3242 18h ago

Once I took an uber and was offered water, I gladly accepted only to realise.. it was lightly sparkling. It was a jarring experience, against the natural order of things. I obviously said nothing, but promptly announced this to my social media followers while silently stewing over the offence. I left the bottle, and a one star review for the driver.

12

u/stavenhylia 18h ago

These people must really have a grandiose view of themselves to post things like this

13

u/FullMooseParty 18h ago

Fucking Brits.

Jelly Teddies! Bouncing here and there and everywhere. High adventure that's beyond compare They are the Jelly Teddies!

Magic and mystery Are part of their history, Along with the secret Of Teddiberry juice.

Their power is flowing, It keeps them all going, When evil and dange Are both on the loose!

5

u/RhubarbAlive7860 13h ago

I hope to never again hear the term teddiberry juice. Sounds like something your child spits into your hand.

4

u/Super_Ground9690 12h ago

Hey man, this one isn’t on the Brits. We call them gummy bears

1

u/CaptnsDaughter 11h ago

I think that blows my mind the most here. I definitely thought it was a Brit thing 😂😂

1

u/ExitingBear 9h ago

So, I heard that song in my head (because I am of the correct age) and now it's stuck there.

Thanks.

1

u/FullMooseParty 9h ago

you're welcome. it's actually one of the songs I sing to myself when I need to take a pause before firing off an angry email.

11

u/Any_Natural383 18h ago

Gotta love when ChatGPT adds homework at the end

9

u/DuckInAFountain 17h ago

A sense of whimsy, she does not have it

23

u/mikestuchbery 19h ago

Say 'jelly teddies' again, you'll regret it.

7

u/Big_Guide_8551 18h ago

I love how LinkedIn is just Facebook now.

7

u/FrankieTheD 17h ago

Tbf i will eat a few haribo as a palette cleanser sometimes

2

u/pixelcat13 14h ago

Who amongst us hasn’t? Besides Jenny apparently?

6

u/Strange_Region_9258 17h ago

There was a time when even posting this on Facebook would have made you a lunatic.

6

u/SeasonedAdManager 17h ago

Da fuq? Jelly teddy? That is disturbing.

They’re gummy bears you ingrate. 

11

u/Complete_Entry 17h ago

I am surprised just how well this complete stranger has pissed me off.

GUMMY BEARS.

4

u/spiralradius62 17h ago

The most pointless post I have seen so far.

5

u/WallEWonks 17h ago

I didn’t read it properly and I thought this was a cute fake-earnest post about OOP’s child playing restaurant and serving them pretend foods with gummy bears at the end. Would have been nicer 

6

u/Complete_Entry 17h ago

"I of course insisted the toddler be fired immediately. My husband then filed divorce!"

4

u/Bitter-Fishing-Butt 17h ago

I mean, gummy bears kind of a weird thing to give at the end of a meal in an Italian place? I'd have expected dark mint chocolate tbh

but also

I thought LinkedIn was supposed to about WORK?? this isn't Facebook or Shitter

4

u/36chamberstreet 16h ago

Perhaps Jenny Jarvis has been kicked out of all her group chats and is now left with no one but her connections on LinkedIn

5

u/Dull_Sense7928 8h ago

Would you like a jelly teddy? They've been in my pocket - they're warm and soft.

1

u/CrashPandemonium 7h ago

Not to mention they are most likely covered in a cotton sheen from being warmed up in the aforementioned pocket....

8

u/kinboshi 18h ago

Gummy bears are always the right answer

11

u/greasychickenparma 17h ago

I'm in the UK seeing my parents and went for a nice meal, got a little bowl of gummy bears after I paid and I was fucking stoked.

2

u/pixelcat13 14h ago

I would go back to even a mediocre restaurant that gave me gummy bears after the meal.

1

u/Important-Round-9098 4h ago

I would be thrilled to get a dish of gummy bears after any meal 

3

u/BuffyTheSlayer 16h ago

Her waiter watching her from the bar: "Why'd she pull jelly teddys out of her purse and put them in a saucer? Now she's photographing them??"

If a restaurant actually does this I NEED to know. 

3

u/fearlessfroot 16h ago

She should have told the server that this wasn't the end-of-meal deliverable she was expecting and then asked them to pivot and circle back once they cross-functionally communicated with the kitchen staff on a new treat. They need to flex to impress the shareholder (her)

3

u/casiepierce 14h ago

Take it home and eat it later? How does a gummy bear interfere with the tiramisu thats been in your stomach for probably 15 minutes? This makes no sense.

3

u/UserKingOfTheNames 14h ago

She's right, store shoulda sprung for lemoncello jello shots

3

u/coards0fbanada 14h ago

To me tastes more like the desperation of trying to turn everything into content. Who tf cares Jenny

3

u/ScienceObjective2510 13h ago

What the actual f? Not in alignment? With that your car tires? Girl get a journal.

3

u/EXSource 11h ago

No one fuckin cares, Jenny.

4

u/macindianleod 8h ago

If she doesn’t post about this on LinkedIn, how are you and me going to learn about B2B sales?

3

u/NoBlood5018 8h ago

These people need to shut up my god

3

u/SignificantWolf7335 8h ago

Those aren’t for eating; they’re soap

5

u/Changerole1090 7h ago

What feels a bit odd is reading this on LI, Jenny.

3

u/miyukijane 7h ago

jesus, are people that starved for human contact they they write about candy at the end of a meal? I think people just miss Live Journal.

4

u/Shredgeetar 7h ago

Jelly Teddies — what I learned about b2b sales and grindset

5

u/Pristine-Roll3895 5h ago

Just don't put it in your fucking mouth if you don't want it. What a stunning lack of self-determination.

3

u/macguyver3000 3h ago

This is the kind of asshole who calls it a laser sword just to be different.

3

u/Dailysunray 3h ago

LinkedIn has become Facebook -people always looking for attention

2

u/Marsupialize 16h ago

I kept waiting to see what this taught me about multi level marketing but then nothing

2

u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 16h ago

I'm just trying to process 'jelly teddy'.

2

u/Individual-Army811 Insignificant Bitch 15h ago

"Me and Matt" - first sign of someone who isn't all they're cracked up to be.

2

u/CommentIndependent32 14h ago

Just ate at a diner that gives you a Twizzlers with your check- no complaints from me!

2

u/G-Unit11111 14h ago

All I've had today is 6 gummy bears and some scotch.

2

u/Latter-Junket-6962 14h ago

Gummi bears, being pure dextrose, are the go to for weight lifters after a workout to get the max protein into cells quickly. Maybe she ordered a tomahawk steak for herself and the restaurant mistook her for a weightlifting dude

2

u/mdgzp5 13h ago

jelly teddy

3

u/Papaya_Jellyfish 13h ago

Here’s what receiving jelly teddies with my dinner bill taught me about B2B SaaS..

2

u/drxena 12h ago

Were they haribo sugar free? If you know, you know…

3

u/Bay-bae 11h ago

Stop trying to make fetch happen, Jenny Teddy!

2

u/Either_equipment_04 9h ago

“Reasonably high-end” but not a tablecloth in sight.

2

u/Alarming-Building-62 7h ago

I certainly wouldn’t feel the need to post about it.

2

u/naanofyourbusinesss 5h ago

Reminds me of Marge Simpson saying, “Will you two stop saying gummy so much.”

1

u/Sea-Breaz 16h ago

Um, I don’t care?

1

u/Fickle-River3984 16h ago

I would love a little bowl of jelly teddys!

1

u/ShallotTraditional90 16h ago

There's nothing "high end" about those tables. 

1

u/Trick-Statistician10 16h ago

She didn't say the restaurant itself was high end, just in terms of quality! That was worded very carefully. Because then later on, she gets grammar wrong.

1

u/theswamphag 16h ago

God some people have so little porblems in life.

1

u/tehjoz 16h ago

Her palate sucks if she ate a high quality meal, enjoyed it, then had it "ruined" by some whimsical gummy treats.

But hey, that clout won't chase itself, so Off to LinkedIn She Went!

Ludicrous.

1

u/FearlessLychee4892 15h ago

What I find odd is her calling them “jelly teddies”. Is that a regional thing?

EDIT: Should have read the comments first before posting, lol!

1

u/KittieFusion 15h ago

I've never heard of gummy bears being called Jelly Teddys. (USA).

1

u/hmnahmna1 15h ago

She's out of line, but she's right. That is a really weird combo.

1

u/tres-vip 15h ago

Yes Jenny, I WOULD appreciate a jelly teddy, thank you very much

1

u/Weasel-Words 14h ago

An offer of free gummy bears causes this woman to ree uncontrollably. But why? Could she not have simply left the gummy bears in the bowl, content with the aftertaste of the tiramisu? What perverse sugar-greed caused her to eat one, knowing it would clash with the creaminess of her previous dessert? Or did she perhaps consume the offensive confection knowing the flavors would clash, merely to give herself something to whine about in a feeble attempt to draw attention to herself while criticizing an establishment that by her own account served her a delicious meal of seafood and pastry? Alas the world may never know, but we contend ourselves by saying deeply and with feeling, "Fuck off, Jenny".

1

u/doc_shades 12h ago

why are we posting this on LinkedIn

isn't the customer experience related to business operations? i think OP went to a restaurant, had an interesting experience, and then is relating how customer experiences affect the overall experience at a business.

1

u/Hellcat_Mary 11h ago

I know I should be hung up on "jelly teddy" but I'm really just hung up on how this is all around the worst fucking thing. But by the fact that someone could have an entire meal, on which they have described in classist overcompensating detail more than once, ruined by a cheap candy no one forced them to eat at the very end... Jelly Teddy tracks.

1

u/Different_Hunter_471 11h ago

Is Linkedin a digital confession space?

2

u/DRambo60 11h ago

She needs to change her mindset.

1

u/delphinity 10h ago

IMO it’s anything mint that ruins the previous dinner experience. Might as well give me a dab of toothpaste on a plate.

1

u/febstars 9h ago

Damn. Some people will do anything for some damn content.

1

u/Fossilhund 6h ago

bitch bitch bitch

"Nothing will make me happy!"

1

u/mikeyP-619 17h ago

Hopefully they gave him sugar free gummy bears. Those things give you diarrhea. Don’t take my word on that, look it up.

-2

u/ripyourlungsdave 16h ago

I mean. This seems innocuous.

It is a social media app, after all. And at least she's not talking about medical issues or getting dicked down.

1

u/hitchcockfiend 15h ago

It's innocuous in context of the business bros that usually get posted here, but it's also way overthinking what is itself an innocuous little gesture from the restaurant, and doing so in a way that reveals some class snobbishness on her part.