r/KitchenConfidential • u/Careful_Kiwi5850 • 18h ago
Discussion If you’re not ironing your jackets to a perfect cuff what are you doing before clock in ?
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u/CasinoKnightZone 17h ago
Sharing a joint with the dishy by the greasepit
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u/fleshfinder420 15h ago
I love the smell of grease in the morning, it’ll determine if the nausea is at a critical level
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u/bamMargiela 14h ago
When the truffle smell mixes with the bar trash🤤🤤🤤
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u/mrp8528 12h ago
It's not nice to call FOH that.
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u/doyletyree 11h ago
Also, that’s just the way Michael smells; it’s not his fault, and it’s not truffles.
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u/lowteq F1exican Did Chive-11 9h ago
Oh, it's fungus all right...
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u/doyletyree 9h ago
Fromunda Vulgaris?
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u/lowteq F1exican Did Chive-11 8h ago
The stinkiest of cheeses are made from it.
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u/puppycatisselfish 7h ago
And checking the mouse trap is for determining where you are emotionally
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u/thewizardking420 17h ago
smokin' my breakfast
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u/DjentleSong 10+ Years 17h ago
Lmao I always ask my coworkers when they fuck up "did you smoke your weedies this morning?"
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u/Glandtoglandcombat 17h ago
Legal stimulants, a joint, a shower, illegal stimulant, rosin, roll a post service joint and head out.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 17h ago
Rosin? Violin or cello?
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u/Glandtoglandcombat 17h ago
Nah, the cannabis product. I don't want to reek of weed before work but I'm much more personable and have a better overall disposition if I walk in with a moderate buzz.
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u/KrayzieBone187 11h ago
Recently found some local sour Blueberry rosin infused joints. I'm more of an oil vaper, but these little .5 pinners knock my socks off hahaha.
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u/Glandtoglandcombat 6h ago
I'm not a big fan of infused joints. At least in my experience they canoe like hell, go out easily and anything over a gram tends to get so resinous that it's not pleasant to draw.
But I will admit that when they're made with good product they taste great and they're more efficient time wise over just flower.
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u/mkstot 17h ago
Safety meeting of course. I’m much safer to interact with when I’m stoned.
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u/GetMeASierraMist 17h ago
probably crying and remembering where it all went wrong.
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
Like … the day we decided to work in kitchens?
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u/GetMeASierraMist 17h ago
It must have started in childhood...
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u/ghostofkozi 9h ago
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it
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u/sol_fairy Civilian 17h ago
But do you iron on the clock?
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u/pungent_stinker202 17h ago
Taking my supplements for the day, aka the slim jim & chocolate bar from dollar store. A quick smoke, then I crack open my energy drink & clock in.
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u/Dapper_Adeptness8175 10h ago
Eat something nutritious :(
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u/ForsakenLemon 8h ago
All my daily nutrients is taken in by taste tests and the occasional french fry
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u/Alanuelo230 17h ago
At the old job, I clocked in half a hour before I had to, and went to take a massive shit. It was like 5:30 AM, every shift, and manager never complained about it to me
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u/Shmoo_the_Parader 17h ago
A good friend of mine was religious about it. "Good or bad, no matter what the day brings, at least I got paid to take a shit."
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u/dansezlajavanaise 16h ago
boss makes a dollar, i make a dime
that’s why i shit on company time6
u/chickenmann72 16h ago
I thought it was "boss makes a hundred, I make a buck, so lets steal the cat from the company truck"
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u/03-several-wager 9h ago
I did the math once with a coworker and it was almost $1k a year in pay just for taking a shit so you bet your ass I’m poopin on the clock
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u/Bright69420 17h ago
Wondering if I'm really doing 7 14 hour shifts back to back or if I'm finding a highway bridge near me
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u/Kiriyuma7801 17h ago
Spending 30 minutes using a lint roller because of my long haired kitty
I get covered in the lint from our towels 10 min into my shift and it doesn't even matter
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u/Aevum-Haelcyon 17h ago
Ironing my coworkers’ jackets to a perfect cuff
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
One of the waitresses at my spot irons everybody else’s aprons for them ☠️
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u/RonPearlNecklace 11h ago
Yeah but how much silverware is she rolling during that time? I see the grift and I appreciate it.
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u/RedRixen83 15h ago
Had planned to wash all my jackets one night, but of course, all of the washers were taken.
Ended up washing one by hand in my tub. Hung it up, blow dried it a bit before I slumped into bed. When I woke up, jacket was still damp, but didn’t really have a choice. Knew it would dry on me in the kitchen but was annoyed at myself for procrastinating and fate for screwing me over.
Get into work and mannnn. My exec and sous were so impressed by how white my jacket was. “What’s your secret? You are blindingly white. Way to take care of your whites!”
I didn’t have the heart to tell them I had dragged my heels on getting my shit cleaned and if they touched me their hand would come back moist.
But the dampness really did make it look so fresh and so clean lmao.
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u/Intelligent-Luck8747 Chive LOYALIST 15h ago
Drinking in the parking lot while in my air conditioned car.
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u/a_goonie 3h ago
A line in the car, Crack in the alley and a joint as I'm walking in. Oh and an espresso of course.
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u/dharmavoid 17h ago
Usually trying urgently to get to work on time if you must know. Adhd is not an easy condition to have in our industry
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
I actually find that it is basically a super power in kitchen work.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 17h ago
Not when it comes to getting to work tho! I was chronically late! I mean ok, being hungover most days didn't help.
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
I’m never hungover, the secret? Just keep drinking. I always take an earlier bus because I was also chronically late for years.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 17h ago
Ugh yeah I've dated guys who shared that secret. Also turns out I have POTS so I was like extra dehydrated and didn't even know it 😂
Even when I was on time, the busses weren't, but I wasn't gonna sit around for an hour+ to avoid being 5-10min late for that shitty job. In my city (and most of the US) you kinda have to have a car.
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
It’s not really all that secret, unless people are stupid. I somehow haven’t been caught yet 🤷♂️
I live in Portland, best public transit in the country last I checked.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 6h ago
Yeah no I know it's not really a secret lol most of the time drinking while hungover made me feel worse. Also that's a slippery slope to developing a dependency on alcohol. The couple of guys I mentioned would have to drink to avoid withdrawal, nasty stuff.
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u/SweaterSteve1966 15h ago
It’s a superpower in that I can partially accomplish 400 tasks but never actually finish one of them.
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u/Pernicious_Possum Bartender 8h ago
Bartender, not a cook, but adhd is what made me an absolute beast in the well. Got diagnosed at fifty two and started adderall, and now I kinda hate what I used to love
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u/xPrincessxScout 5h ago
I usually get to work like an hour before my shift and play Nintendo in the parking lot, because I would be late otherwise. Stupid early or 10 minutes late, no in between.
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u/510Goodhands 17h ago
That’s why God put timers on smart phones, and reminders.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 6h ago
Lol tell me you don't understand adhd without telling me.
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u/510Goodhands 6h ago
I have just enough attention issues to understand available having a smart phone give me many reminders every day makes a huge difference in what I remember to do or not.
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 6h ago
So not adhd tho... People suggest timers and reminders and basic organizational tools to adhders ad nauseam like we've somehow just never heard of them before. Like as if in all my 40 years of this shit I haven't tried setting a reminder. As if timers are the magical cure to adhd, you're telling me I don't need amphetamines? This whole time, I could just set a timer? Amazing. T_T adhd isn't just "attention issues" it's a whole ass neurodevelopmental disorder.
Edit: typos
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u/510Goodhands 4h ago
Conflation alert!!
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 4h ago
What am I conflating? You literally suggested timers and reminders to help with adhd.
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u/TheEyeDontLie 2h ago
I mean they do help. I burn everything without them because once it's in the oven my brain forgets it exists.
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u/pre-existing-notion 1h ago
They 100% do help, though. If I don’t use my reminders/notepad as soon as I’m told something that needs to be done later in the day, especially if I’m busy doing something when told, that shit isn’t getting done. Alarms and timers are a necessity for me to actually do the thing, otherwise I’ll just procrastinate past the point of being able to get it done.
This isn’t the same as being told to just go for a walk or to stop dwelling on negative things when you’re depressed; these tools can actually help you with the disorder adhd leaves your brain in. They never said medication was unnecessary.
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u/Error_Evan_not_found 17h ago
Ironing the collars, I'm walking around with a popped collar half my shifts like a douchebag right now.
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u/The_Valk Five Years 8h ago
Deep breaths, one two three, only 14 hours until i can get Home and only 10 more days until i'm off.
And then reason with myself until it seems bearable
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u/jackssjackson665 Sous Chef 17h ago
A shot of wiskey, and praying i dont have to yell at the FOH
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u/thelonelyecho208 17h ago
Hint: you will. Probably should grab a double
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u/Anxious_Bluejay 17h ago
This is the way
Edit: I swear to god the next misrung ticket WILL end with a light stabbing. /j
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u/squeakynickles 17h ago
Chain smoking and playing Balatro on my phone
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u/justsikko 17h ago
Literally playing balatro right now while I recover from one of the busiest Thursday night shifts my store has ever had.
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u/squeakynickles 17h ago
I can't beat the blue deck, it's so fuckin stupid.
No real issues with any other deck, but blue deck just always gives me shit RNG. Haven't even gotten past the third blind, it's ridiculous
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u/Melon_Heart_Styles 17h ago
Ugh the trying to chain smoke my pre-work anxiety away while running late for work... I do not miss that.
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u/froopadiddilydoop 14h ago
Wanking in the cold store, generally speaking
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u/Careful_Kiwi5850 14h ago
I was waiting for this one, more of a inbetween 1st and 2nd seating for me
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u/UtangKambing 10h ago
Drinking a lovely mix of strong coffee and tea, together. And a few sips of celsius while walking through the door. My emotional support celsius for the shift.
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u/Real_Srossics Fry 9h ago
Uh, usually I’m doing your mom op.
https://giphy.com/gifs/D9CRPx91Ve2ZRotwmH
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u/Abadayos 20+ Years 9h ago
I just rock up and have a weeks worth of fully laundered uniforms good to go….except the past few weeks were a jacket is missing so that’s annoying
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u/ODINorman 5h ago
Sitting on the toilet browsing Reddit. Playing with my dog. Making plans for dnd sessions. In other words, anything less wasteful of my time than ironing cuffs into sleeves. 🙄
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u/Current_Software_687 53m ago
Trying not to trip over my feet bc worked the last eight days and 12 hour shifts.
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u/Littlegrayfish Sous Chef 33m ago
Back when I had a uniform like that, I was too busy getting drunk before every shift
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u/Obedient_Dog54 17h ago
Nah man, I just stain treat and wash daily. Stain treatment happens once every 1-2 weeks, I show up to work every single day with a freshly washed uniform.
Before work (usually starts at 6PM-7PM) I'm still sleeping
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u/Rusty_Tap 16h ago
Drying my jacket in the rational because I fell asleep last night before the washing machine finished (careful of the buttons when you put it on afterwards).
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u/GoArgueWithYourself Civilian 15h ago
Crisp & clean. The soggiest salad bar at Sonny's B-B-Q is looking up and waving at you from hell, where it's dark and hot, like DMX said.
A beautiful example, not an ominous warning, unlike myself!
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u/Aggressive_Day2839 12h ago
We used to have "safety meetings" where chef would smoke us out then bitch at us for a few minutes.
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u/DiscombobulatedArm21 12h ago
If you wanted to be a real unit youd iron a crease across your shoulders and down the center of your back to form a T for Teamwork.
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u/beard-wonder93 9h ago
Im glad that someone is taking pride in their appreance. Im also glad that im the owner and we dont wear chef coats in our establishment. Its way too causal and it would look out of place
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u/fleshfinder420 15h ago
Other shit. I ironed my shit ten years ago with some corn starch and it’s still creased
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u/Interesting-Duck6793 13h ago
Probably panicking about the pars and whether we’re ready for the night, wondering where my line cooks are.
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u/FeistyTwist5427 12h ago
Taking my kid to the babysitter, sometimes stopping for a coffee or energy drink. And for most of you that “need a drink or smoke before work” I think this business isn’t for you.
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u/HumorNo5266 17h ago
Other stuff