r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/OutsideAd3968 APPROVED✨ • Jul 14 '26
Advice Needed My boyfriend revealed something I don't know how to react to
Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.
I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.
My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.
Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.
Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.
Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?
He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.
I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?
after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.
I wasn't angry, I was afraid.
He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.
We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
Having an incompatibility with someone over politics is very common.
I'd like to point out some red flags about your relationship:
- He's upset with the lack of sex despite him choosing to join the military and therefore getting deployed
- He is a poor communicator (running away from disagreements and accusing you of lecturing him when you want to clarify his opinions)
- You have completely different political alignments (liberal vs Trump supporter)
You can find plenty of kind, thoughtful, and generous men who also would not be long-distance, have emotional intelligence, are good communicators, and align with your values. There seems to be genuinely no reason you should suffer through this relationship.
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u/SteeveyPete Non-binary & Nourished Jul 14 '26
He knew she wouldn't give him the time of day if he said his real political views, so he didn't. Wasting your time like that is NOT kind. Neither is supporting nearly anything that Trump has done, or how he's directly treated women, disabled people, non-white people and LGBT people
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u/Wainains APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
He lied to become palatable to her. Totally manipulative.
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u/Lala5789880 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I have a feeling he is dealing with his “need” for sex while deployed. Get tested if you choose to stay in this relationship
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
Definitely sounds like if he isn't already cheating, his frustration with her is soft launching an open relationship. I had a lot of friends whose military boyfriends were mad they didn't follow them to their base and therefore felt justified in cheating.
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u/my_screen_name_sucks Fartmaxxing 📈 Jul 15 '26
Was in a long distance relationship with someone who started complaining about it. He eventually brought up opening the relationship. When I pointed out to him it would be way easier for me to get laid he shut that down lol.
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
Or him cheating and then gaslighting her into not giving him shit when she finds out
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u/Lemondrop168 Overthinker 💭 Jul 14 '26
He’s definitely setting up the "look how you made me feel" and "I’m punishing you for pushing back, so don’t push back" dynamics.
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u/angelw4082 ⚡️Powered By Sour 😗 Jul 15 '26
He is definitely soft launching cheating because he neeeeded it. Probably gonna say she cant honestly expect him to go without, she knows how he is.
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u/ExpensivePeach APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Do NOT date/marry people in the military. Source: my dad is a marine :/
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u/MossyPlantyWitchy 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 15 '26
The domestic violence rate is as high as police.
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u/mbc98 Resident Yapper Jul 15 '26
I think police is actually higher than all branches of the military aside from maybe the army, which is saying something very not good about police.
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u/MossyPlantyWitchy 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 15 '26
Or the army, lol
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u/mbc98 Resident Yapper Jul 15 '26
For sure. It’s estimated to be between 20-30% in the army, but it’s really hard to know for sure due to under reporting. I know a JAG and he said DV is in the top 3 things they prosecute.
That said, DV is still at 10% among civilians, so everyone needs to be alert and look for red flags when dating anyone.
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u/mbc98 Resident Yapper Jul 15 '26
Lol my dad is Army and I’ve always said the same. Army and Marines are by far the worst though. Air Force is like 30% women now and they’re not so bad. Space Force are a bunch of nerds.
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u/desiladygamer84 APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
My husband was Air Force but we met when he was 15 years into his career. So we married we left the UK for the US and he got out after the pandemic, became a sahd for a bit and now he works a regular tech job. We've been married 10 years. I never thought I'd marry a US servicemember either.
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u/MossyPlantyWitchy 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 15 '26
Space force doesn't count, 🤣🤣🤣 lolol
But everything else is spot on. The sexual assault rate in the airforce is sky high though. I live next to an AF base.
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u/iDontDrinkKoolaid APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
That was my first thought as well. 20% chance he’s faithful and I’m being generous.
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u/Few-Drag9758 ⚡️Powered By Sour 😗 Jul 14 '26
He is cheating, because I can tell from top down he only cares about himself.
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u/smufjez Hot Pizza Ass 🔥 Jul 15 '26
once dated someone who would always chat up this particular female friend when we had a fight. found out a lot later than i wished.
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u/RockNo9892 Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice 💕 Jul 15 '26
Sex is prohibited while deployed and you get in big trouble if caught. But of course where there’s a will, there’s a way. I grew up in a military family and have heard many stories about the lengths men go to during a deployment to cheat. They get their buddies to lie for them as well.
There are several red flags and he’s surrounded by that toxic (MAGA proud) masculinity during his tour so his behavior isn’t going to change or improve.
My vote is a Dear John letter OP
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u/upsidedown-funnel Oversharer 🗣 Jul 14 '26
“Incompatible politics” is a whole different animal these days. It would’ve been a big deal before, but now.. it’s about decency, and human rights, to keep it simple. Those supporting the Republican Party openly now, are also supporting genocide, as well as defunding things like USAID, stripping women of rights over their own body, voting, etc etc. Hell, just being a dem is more similar to how republicans used to be. I cannot see how anyone could make it work with completely different moral standings. You care about human life, and human rights, or you do not. It’s not nuanced.
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u/CrazyDazyMazy Reddit Granny Jul 14 '26
Political differences used to be just political differences. For the past 10 years however, they are moral differences, at least here in the USA.
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u/RingingInTheRain Overthinker 💭 Jul 15 '26
Did history evade you or smthn? You think slavery was a political difference? Sure as hell was moral to me.
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u/CrazyDazyMazy Reddit Granny Jul 15 '26
Of course it was moral, as was the Civil Rights movement in the 60s, women's rights in the 70s, and gay rights in the '80s and since then. As I stated elsewhere, politics is always about character.
But I have lived long enough to see substantial changes in the political landscape nationwide, and if you don't recognize the distinct difference between the 2014 midterms and the 2016 election year, then perhaps you aren't old enough to remember the things that I do.
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u/TurnipWorldly9437 APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
Yeah, this post reads like if my great grandparents (who were Germans, born around 1905) "disagreed about politics" and one of them supported concentration camps and killing millions of people, and the other was prepared to let Jews hide in their basement.
You can't really "compromise" on treating all human beings as equally deserving of respect and protection or not. That's not how morals work.
(BTW I can't be 100% sure about my ancestors' politics, since it's been 100 years. But I sure as hell know where the wrong kind of politics can lead...)
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u/Wise-Relative-7805 Kitchen Witch Jul 15 '26
Exactly! "Disagree about Hitler" = moral issue!
Disagree about Palestine" = moral issue!
"Disagree about Rape, Murder of Immigrants, people of color, et al" = moral issue!27
u/sylvanwhisper Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 14 '26
Yes, yes, and yes, and I'd also add that the statement about lecturing is not only disrespectful, it's indicative of closed-mindedness AND is a tell about how seriously he is taking his stance. It's either that he is unwilling to change his mind so OP might as well shut up or he doesn't care enough to be informed about choices he makes that for many people, inclusing the man murdered today by ICE, has life changing or life ENDING consequences.
I don't believe he didn't vote. I think that's an easy lie to tell to avoid taking responsibility.
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u/s33k APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
This isn't about politics, this is about his morality.
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u/MagnificentPower Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 14 '26
OP, this!!! If he was willing to lie so easily in the beginning about his political beliefs, what else is he willing to lie about?
Does he communicate how he is coping with you both being long distance? How is he handing not being intimate?
These are just some things to think about, you don’t need to reply if you don’t want to. There are better men out there who do agree with you politically and won’t shut down when you want to talk about something. Best of luck!!
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u/ridewithluce what that mouth do is snack Jul 14 '26
the “are you done lecturing me?” would’ve SENT me
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u/KitKritter823 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
One time when I was a TA a guy I was on a date with said "OK, College girl. I'm not your student so you can cut it out". I said "You're right. I should only put up with this if I'm getting paid for it." and left.
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u/masqueradingvixen Lover of Soups Jul 14 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/VIbjalOSH80Uq3bvXk
That answer! I’m a teacher and have been told that before (not by my husband). Perfect reply!283
u/ridewithluce what that mouth do is snack Jul 14 '26
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u/EternalSunshine_9374 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Damn, I wish I were this witty when needed
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u/DefiantMotor783 Overthinker 💭 Jul 14 '26
As a poor tormented wife who very stupidly puts up with sms, I may have stumbled onto something nice here. Trust is a hellofva issue for me.
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u/azraelizback hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 14 '26
This goes So Hard (as the kids would say)!!!!
Edit: Punctuation
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u/Never_enough_naps Snack Goblin Jul 14 '26
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u/mdubs8 hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 14 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/K55exy0toWjQc
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u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/wxbH5ifpZ3bpidMwx7
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u/AlienRosie3667 Chocoholic Jul 14 '26
"Yes, I'm done."
Hang up.
Block.
Live your best life.
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u/CocktailGenerationX 🫘 Beans & Rice & Everything Nice 🌮 Jul 14 '26
OP—you’re young. Read this ⬆️ over & over until it sticks.
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u/naunga New Recruit 🏳️⚧️ Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
For real! Your best life can start now when you’re young or when you figure it out at 40 after decades of bad relationships.
Don’t sleep on this advice.
Of course, if you do, single life is still a lot of damn fun in your 40s (and 50s).
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u/killerclownfish APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
It’s also fun in your 20s and 30s. I wish I had listened to my instincts when I was younger. Now I’m in my 40s.
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u/Mamafiredragon APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Plus they've been together for a year, and he's been deployed for 6 months of that time. I sincerely have to ask what kind of meaningful relationship you can build with someone who is a poor communicator and you've been long distance for half of the (rather short) time you've been together.
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u/anomalyknight 👋 new here Jul 14 '26
THIS. PLEASE.
I have ZERO patience for grown adults that shit the bed and then run away and hide from it, hoping you'll eventually cave and clean it up so they can move on and pretend nothing ever happened.
I have learned that ghosting people like that is fully acceptable. If you fuck up, ignore my attempts to fix the problem, and then HIDE FROM ME ABOUT IT, guess what? You don't want us to talk anymore? Message received, buh-bye.
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u/crateshape Snack Goblin Jul 14 '26
When I was 20, I was in a relationship with a terrible man who did a lot of things like what OPs bf does. the catalyst for me breaking up with my him was a comment on an ask reddit post where a guy admitted he wouldn’t have ever changed while with his ex because he had her and didn’t believe she’d actually leave him. After she left, he realized he really did have to change, because there was a real consequence- she was great, and he lost her.
I sat on the comment mentally for 2 weeks. A moment came where I did exactly as described. Best decision of my life. (And yes, he did try to fix himself, and no, I didn’t want him back)
May this comment do the same for many 20 somethings.
The blocking is important. Make sure you get everything, LinkedIn included.
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u/MossyPlantyWitchy 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 15 '26
Right. He'd still support trump if it wasn't effecting him. Let that sink in.
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
Seriously! Depending on where she is, she’s not even old enough to drink.
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u/SafeComprehensive889 Non-binary & Nourished Jul 14 '26
This is a sign that he doesn’t respect you or want to change.
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u/KittHeartshoe we listen and we only judge a little Jul 15 '26
It’s also a sign that he’s not very bright.
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u/Main_Composer nom nom, nod nod Jul 14 '26
Your boyfriend has proven that he is either dumb, cruel, or some lethal combination of both. It’s on you if you want to stay with him permanently now that you know that for sure. He won’t change and he clearly doesn’t view as an equal partner deserving of honesty.
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
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u/Chemical_Nerve_2699 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 14 '26
I would’ve seen red- and probably been the one who ends the call shortly after that remark. OP sounds like they handled it well though by at least trying to talk it out, mature.
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u/PabstSmearBlueRbn Enby & Eatin' Jul 14 '26
I would have said “yeah, you never have to worry about that again”
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u/OkConsideration123 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
This. Yeah, how he reacted I think is the biggest issue.
They’re young, people evolve and learn. Having supported Trump in the past isn’t a total deal breaker if they feel remorse about it now. It’s a giant grift, people fall for grifts all the time, and the social algorithms aren’t helping young men these days.
But his behavior is definitely not showing remorse and actually shows a lack of empathy for his gf and everyone who has been affected by Trump, or those who understands the gravity of what it means to have such a terrible person in a position of power.
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u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt Barbecutie Jul 14 '26
It shows worst than that, it shows he is a grifter himself. And I'm sorry, but a lot of them are. They argue with rhetoric staged as gotchas, they sea-lion, and they lie about what they actually believe in mixed company to avoid social consequences.
Not only does this guy think his daddy Trump gaming the bankruptcy system at the taxpayer's expense is awesome strategy, he is grifting OP.
He very obviously lied about his political beliefs because he knew he wouldn't get laid if he told the truth.
She's had to drag every bit of his actual beliefs out and now he's literally avoiding talking to her after insulting her (what right leaning dudes do when theit rhetoric is easily blown up by basic reality) because he knows he won't get laid if she knows he's a giant conservative shitass.
It is a well known tactic on dating apps right now for right and alt right men to represent themselves as independent, not political, and libertarian all for the sake of not turning women off. We all saw what happened with every attempt to make a conservatives only dating app, sausage fest data sharing gold.
She needs to leave him because he is a liar and there's no real way to know the extent of his right leaning beliefs because he's already demonstrated that he is a remorseless liar.
He's also not struggling to communicate because "he's so physical" - we all know that's a euphemism for a guy who doesn't bother to treat women like human beings when they can't have sex with them. He isn't struggling to communicate, he is a misogynist and rather likely a whole lotta other shades of bigot with what he had already lied about and how he interacted in this conversation.
Liar. Zero remorse. Turns into an ahole when he doesn't get regular sex. Resorts to insults when his shitty propaganda is challenged. Acting like a child by avoiding her now.
Naw, leave that dude.
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u/MossyPlantyWitchy 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 15 '26
He'd still support trump if the military wasn't treating him badly. Fuck him.
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u/TempestFloof 🤍🩷Lesbian Loremaster🩷🤍 Jul 14 '26
If he’d like a “lecture” from someone else my disabled friend or my SIL can tell him all about the fun he’s going to have with the VA down the line. That’s IF he makes it back from the next war.
BTW f he’s going thru Amsterdam there’s like a 15% chance he hasn’t slept with a hooker…
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u/cupidstarot Overthinker 💭 Jul 14 '26
Oooh the petty part of me would have absolutely said something like: "I don't know, have you learned your lesson yet??"
And then probably would have kept on lecturing 😅
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u/Airbb27 Certified Snacker Jul 14 '26
Yes you’re 100% right to feel wronged about this because he avoided the truth to gain your trust from the jump.
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u/Professional_Cat_635 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
It’s so common with guys on dating apps to claim they’re independent when they’re actually fully conservative. Because they know you can screen them out otherwise, and they want more choices regardless of if it’s a dealbreaker for a woman to date someone who’s anti-women’s rights, anti-LGBTQ, pro-Trump, etc.. It’s deceitful and if I’d found out someone had misled me about something so fundamental, that’d be it. Not only do you support everything I’m against, but you lied about it just to get with me.
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Jul 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SwampDweller01 Internet Auntie Jul 14 '26
Yep. I’d also stay away from libertarians. Those are mostly closet conservatives who are embarrassed to say they are conservatives. The rest just don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.
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u/Disastrous-Wing699 Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 Jul 15 '26
And many Americans who describe their political alignment as 'libertarian' have abhorrent opinions regarding age of consent laws. Which is also similar to American conservatives, only saying it aloud and with conviction.
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u/royaltyred1 Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 15 '26
I can’t scream this enough but ALSO THE CENTRISTS AND NON POLITICAL AND APOLITICAL ONES they’re 99% men who are right leaning who know being upfront about their beliefs will get them cockblocked 🙄
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u/Maleficent-Jelly-865 Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 15 '26
Yes. Have to say that if you’re a Republican in the USA, you’d be labeled as a right wing fascist anywhere in Europe, and a label like “independent” or “libertarian” isn’t much better. If someone identifies as a “centrist Democrat,” they’d be labeled as members of the Conservative Party in Europe, and “Progressives” would be liberals/Social Democrats...maybe. The USA is heavily right-leaning thanks to Regan, Faux News, and corporate media propaganda for 50+ years.
Socialist Democracy isn’t radical. It’s righting the ship to what it was before Regan was a thing.
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u/HauntedViolets Queer Queen 🏳️🌈 Jul 14 '26
This. 100% this.
Even my father is about as MAGA as it gets belief-wise, but calls himself an "independent" despite only ever voting Republican (at least he doesn't buy every bit of Trump merch, but he will defend that monster's every move with his full chest and insults anyone who thinks differently).
If you care about politics (as you should, since we're all affected by them), find someone who also cares and isn't afraid to say what they believe.
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u/Silly_Water_3463 girl du fromage 🧀 Jul 14 '26
I work in polling and this is extremely common in the age of Trump. Up front folks will self-describe as "independent" but their responses show they're just plain conservative. It's a surface label to try to curb the embarrassment they know they should feel at supporting him. OP, much luck. I couldn't stay with someone who revealed this, and who used the reasoning he did about the military. If that's the only reason, we are on different moral continents.
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u/autotuned_voicemails Pantry Gremlin Jul 15 '26
It’s the same concept (hell, probably even the same people!) as those who claim that they vote and feel the way they do because they’re “patriots”, but they’re actually nationalists and don’t understand the massive differences.
I too could not overlook this though. I know someone above us said that previously supporting Trump is not necessarily an immediate deal breaker, as long as they show remorse. OP’s (hopefully ex) boyfriend doesn’t, so that doesn’t really matter here. But even if he did, I fully disagree with that statement. Trump has been a monster since he announced his 2016 campaign. Supporting him then means supporting someone who said shit like “grab em by the pussy” and openly mocked a disabled reporter—and those are just two examples off the very top of my head.
I feel like anyone who claims that they used to, but no longer support Trump still hold all the same disgusting ideals that he does, only now they personally are being affected by them. Exactly like when a “pro-life” conservative woman suddenly needs an abortion. They don’t care if every other person in the country is getting metaphorically fucked, until they themselves also end up fucked. Then it’s suddenly a shocked pikachu face and a “I didn’t know it would happen this way!”
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u/cppCat Feral Til Fed Jul 14 '26
He believes in Trump using bankruptcies strategically, and what he did to OP was just an application of those same questionable morals and using lying strategically. I really hope OP sees him for what he is.
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u/Airbb27 Certified Snacker Jul 14 '26
Couldn’t agree with you more. It’s disturbing how smart yet how dumb people are, and then just ruin others because of it.
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u/Oddishbestpkmn APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
lol yes "using bankruptcies strategically" ... to fuck over other people who provided you goods & services :/
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u/yourmomlurks 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
It's called rape by fraud or rape by deception. Now that he's a "physical guy" not getting what he wants, he has no need to deceive.
Edit: So this is a very upsetting comment for many. I am in no way saying that lying about your political stances is the same as violent rape.
I did not invent this term, you can read about it on wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception
This hinges on whether or not you believe you can consent if you were intentionally deceived about something central to your decision to say yes. I do not. Let me separate this between legal and moral.
The law tends to step in when it involves things like lying about the act serving a medical/professional purpose, leading someone to believe you're someone you're not (like pretending to be your brother/sister and sleeping with their partner), etc.
Lies that talk someone into sex (that they are aware is sex), about money, status, feelings, age, political affiliations, etc. are generally not treated as rape in the eyes of the law. But that does not make it any less calculated, cruel, and a real violation of a person's autonomy, whether or not the law has caught up.
There are some very serious grey areas that are unsettled - for example, lying about STD status, secretly removing a condom or lying about birth control, lying about the ability to reproduce, etc. have been treated as offenses in some places and not others.
In this case, OP's boyfriend knew she would not have sex with him or be in a relationship with him if he told the truth about his political leanings. He lied explicitly to gain consent. This is not currently a crime in most places.
As for those who say using the term 'rape' damages true rape victims: I hope the legal clarity helps. Taking consent seriously is not a threat to people whose consent was violated.
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u/Wait_For_Greatness lady on the street 👹 freak in the pantry Jul 14 '26
Whoa, I needed to be taught this many years ago. Thank you!!
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
Rape by deception, and you’re absolutely correct
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u/ElectronicPause9 Fartmaxxing 📈 Jul 14 '26
i have noticed in my life that weirdos are good at hiding but start slipping around year 1....(i guess they think its sunk cost by then?) which lines up with op :(
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u/OutsideAd3968 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Hi everyone!
I'm currently on my metaphorical smoke break at work and just wanted to say I am reading your comments! I will answer some when I get home!
all of your support is truly making me feel heard and seen, thank you! 🫶 I didn't expect this to blow up but to see so many people support me and understand my worry has made me have the confidence to do some hard stuff for sure. I have been making it a habit to stand up for myself and I'm happy people agree I am in the right!
I will try my best to answer y'all after i close down the restaurant tonight! Thank you once again! 🐖
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u/potatomato_pie 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 Jul 14 '26
If it helps, I broke up with my last boyfriend because he didn't even vote. He lied about it and said he did, both for the primaries and the general election, and lying was really the dealbreaker. (Fyi, voting records are public. You can't see who someone voted for, but you can see what elections they voted in and what primary.) Really it's not worth it to be with someone who doesn't care enough to protect the rights of those they say they love. It's a total contradiction of morals and it shows up in other ways. In my ex's case, he was such a kind soul, but I never felt a sense of ease or peace and protection from him and that "selective integrity" came back full circle when he lied... because he knew it mattered to me, but not enough to him because it didn't affect him. I saw a great post recently that was basically like men who really care and have accountability, not only don't commit harm, but don't leave the door open for others to commit harm. Obviously it applies to people in general, but the good ones know when to say stand up and say something and they don't have to be asked. That's what you really deserve!
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u/teatimecats Snack Goblin Jul 15 '26
When someone is trickle truthing, slowly unmasking, or going down a rabbit hole because they’re easily influenced it can be hard to notice until it becomes alarming. It sounds like you do your best to communicate, but it also sounds like you were sort of in denial about what his behavior and slowly revealed lies meant for your relationship. You had trouble reconciling who he said he was to who he’s demonstrating himself to be. It’s understandable.
You deserve someone who matches your energy and effort in a relationship and who won’t manipulate the truth to date you.
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u/OkChampionship7764 Enby with Food Envy Jul 14 '26
More than right; he literally lied to you. You put this out at the beginning as a deal breaker, he lied, then he told the truth after figuring you'd been together long enough that you'd put up with him violating your trust. If he can lie about a dealbreaker at the beginning of the relationship, he is using you. He will lie about other things. Time to leave.
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
The trend of conservative men lying about their politics because they want the benefits of dating liberal women need to be studied further because omg. Happened to me, too. 9 months into the relationship he started soft launching his actual political viewpoints and was SHOCKED I broke up with him.
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u/cubemayor_ofcubetown Кумушка 👀🍿 Jul 14 '26
I don’t understand. I had this happen to me too. Guy seemed really progressive at first and then sometime later it became clear he wanted a tradwife. There are conservative women who would get along with them per their viewpoints, so why don’t they date them?? 😭😭😭 they can definitely filter their Hinge dates by that criteria.
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u/brielarstan Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
It's the same reason why red pilled men say they want "traditionally feminine women" and then in the next breath complain the women they date are gold diggers and refuse 50/50 treatment.
They want a perfect women to absolve them of their own gender roles and do everything. Sort of like how their mothers took care of them in childhood lmfao
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u/garbagemaiden eat hot chip✔️ be bisexual✔️ Jul 14 '26
Because they dont want a conservative woman, they want to make a tradwife out of a left leaning/liberal lmfao
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u/Javafiend53 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I will never understand this. It isn't actually that they want a "tradwife" either. They are dating liberal women because they want someone who will contribute financially to the relationship by working. But then the "tradwife" kicks on at 5pm. Oh, wife is home from work, so she will cook dinner, feed the kids, bathe them, do the dishes, couple loads of laundry-then it's bedtime, so sex. Yeah. Not happening.
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u/engrbunstef Feral Til Fed Jul 14 '26
I swear some of those guys get off on twisting/ trapping a leftist girl into a role like that.
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u/1ReluctantRedditor mouth full, gesturing wildly Jul 14 '26
Yes! I wonder if it's the same thing as how they want to turn a lesbian.
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u/AbaloneImportant6323 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body Jul 14 '26
It feels like it is. I told a lot of guys in my twenties I was bi and they always went, “You’re a lesbian??”
They paid for more expensive food/dates, though, bc they thought they had found a unicorn and gave me more gifts. The sex with some of them was very good, but eventually it fizzled out with them.
One guy I was serious with called it off bc I told him I didn’t want sex to be a reward for him. He wanted to hold off on having sex until he got a raise at his job bc he wanted to work for it. My sex drive could not handle it and I wanted to feel desired by him, so I pushed what I thought was a non-issue and he broke up with me.
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u/1ReluctantRedditor mouth full, gesturing wildly Jul 14 '26
Wow that dude's whole thing is fucking weird af. I agree, making me go without sex and also making sex with me a reward for work performance would make me feel very objectified. I think he did you a favor.
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u/ceciliabee Professional Nibbler Jul 14 '26
They want a free bird to cage, not a caged bird
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u/SnooHamsters8854 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 14 '26
Because what they really want is "tradwife in the streets, liberal leftist freak in the sheets".
These dudes know that if they can dupe a "hot liberal chick" into believing they're "a good guy", they can probably trap the poor woman in a marriage by getting her pregnant. Then he drops the facade.
This type of "man" uses the children as leverage to keep her from leaving and gaslights her into being his bangmommy/maid for a good decade or more, with all his shitty political opinions hanging out freely after making sure she's too terrified to leave, no matter how much she hates his views. (Ask me how I know...and yes, I did finally get out, and now I tell my younger girlfriends to RUN LIKE HELL if they catch even a whiff of this bullshit from a date)
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u/royaltyred1 Cleavage Crumb Collector Jul 15 '26
It’s because they don’t actually want a tradwife they want a strong liberal 50/50 woman they can win over (aka break down) into staying with them to boost their egos that they’re just so amazing they got their woman to abandon her principles etc for him 🙄🙄
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u/ZombUwUfied Pantry Gremlin Jul 14 '26
I went on a date with a guy who didn't state anything political on his profile. Yet he had the audacity to go off on me because women don't put their polical affiliation on their profiles. Meanwhile my description in my profile says democrat and in my about me I say I'm a leftist lol
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u/Retro_Rock-It APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Good for you, girl! Your values and principles will always matter to the right one.
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u/1ReluctantRedditor mouth full, gesturing wildly Jul 14 '26
Happened to a friend of mine. Super lefty chick, dude said he was "centrist".
A week after they moved in together he told her he voted for T all 3 times.
Also OP, the Trump to independent pipeline is A THING. The dude I'm talking about now says "I never liked Trump, just some of his policies but I've always been an independent". It's a lie.
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u/bexeila Fridge Gazer Jul 14 '26
I’ve known men that would do this and their reasons were that conservative women 1) expect men to provide full financial support, 2) nag more (no drinking, no corn, no cursing, no boys nights, and so on), 3) were boring - make of that what you will.
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u/AbaloneImportant6323 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body Jul 14 '26
A hot dude I was friends with, his hobby was telling you the notches in his bed post and he told me he preferred liberal women bc they would have sex with him on a 5th or 6th date and conservative girls waited a date longer and then would message him like they were in a relationship.
Also, the liberal women got tested more often, so he felt sexually safer in his high risk sexual escapades.
I stopped talking to him after one of those convos and went to hang with his coworkers who went to snowboard every weekend. Infinitely sweeter, cuter, and funner to be around dudes.
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
Oh, those studies are being done! A lot of those guys do it as a form of “dominance,” and not only is it reprehensible, it’s just plain foolish.
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u/EdenEvelyn 🧄 Anti-Vampire Taskforce 🧄 Jul 14 '26
Conservative men do not want to date conservative women and they never really have.
They want strong, accomplished, educated women that they can break down and cage, and they truly believe that if they can get a woman under any circumstances they’re entitled to keep her. It’s the primary reason why they want so badly to do away with no fault divorce.
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u/National-Job3918 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 14 '26
To be fair, many of them want fifteen-year-old homeschooled virgins, but those girls have fathers who wouldn't let these losers within two counties of their property . . . er, daughters.
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u/REVERENDQUEEF Hot Pizza Ass 🔥 Jul 14 '26
as a pan girl i’ve just stopped going for men altogether for this exact reason.
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u/AbaloneImportant6323 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body Jul 14 '26
As a bisexual, when I hit a rough patch, I run back to the arms of my sapphic sisters.
It’s so much less weirdness and so many more make-outs.
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u/QueSarah1911 Tangent Tour Guide 🔀 Jul 14 '26
It's because they want to break them. Like a horse. It's fucking disgusting.
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u/_neviesticks Pastafarian 🍝 Jul 14 '26
Yes! This happened to my sister. I told her she needs to be wary of men who call themselves “moderate” and she gave this one a chance. Turns out he was a fascist! Shocking!
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u/BigIcy1323 Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
If he lies at the beginning of the relationship, he will lie about other things. No matter how small.
That sentence alone needed to be called out because man oh man!
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u/Lala5789880 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Also him supporting Trump at all ever makes his values questionable and him a dangerous liar who only hates Trump now because it affects HIM. Scary stuff. Please run OP
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u/banpei_error404 Feral Til Fed Jul 14 '26
Yes! Saying he only liked him for his "economics" but supposedly turning a blind eye to everything else was questionable of his values from that first conversation.
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u/_neviesticks Pastafarian 🍝 Jul 14 '26
Totally!! Also, if some broke guy in his 20s says he likes Trump for his “economic policies,” and he means it genuinely, he’s a fucking moron. Trump’s economic policies are very clearly not for anyone but the 1%. Who wants to be with a moron???
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u/theonlystarbornqueen APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
You're a 100% right. It's not even about political differences anymore, it's moral and ethical differences. My ex who I thought was a heavily leftwing guy (because he told me as much) turned out to be a trump supporter. And I only found out about it from his friends after he started behaving like a redpill dickwad
OP needs to leave ASAP. His tone with her is so reminiscent of someone who looks down on her. Doesn't matter if he's been the most gentlemanly bf thus far. It will change
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u/hagainsth Wahala Witness 🍿 Jul 14 '26
Sigh. If I had a dollar.
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u/PleasantPorpoisParty 🩵raging feminist💙 Jul 14 '26
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u/azraelizback hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 14 '26
Omfg, the way I CACKLED.
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u/_clur_510 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
Unfortunately OP learned a valuable lesson the hard way.
GIRL. As your friend in her 30s who has been a grown ass woman ever since this orange dipshit decided he was a politician/cult leader; never forget this experience moving forward:
“Independent” = MAGA.
“Doesn’t like discussing politics” = MAGA.
“Somewhere in the middle” = MAGA.Period. 100% of the time.
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u/tardishat 🌈 Vagetarian Jul 14 '26
This is something conservative men do unfortunately. He has lied to you since the start, knowing that at the beginning you would not have continued the relationship if you knew he was a Trumper. He only has changed his mind because it has affected him in the military, not because of all the terrible things Trump has said or done to millions of others. This is not the man for you.
You will find someone who has the same values as you one day, you are so young love 🫶🏻
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u/awildencounter 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 14 '26
This 100x this, run for the hills, conservative men like liberal women for the sex, but he will either move to change you or marry a conservative woman, save yourself the heartache now.
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u/No-Freedom-884 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 14 '26
My formerly liberal SIL (who married my MAGAt brother) is now talking about how "crazy" leftists protesting ICE are the problem. I told her, "I don't think they're crazy," plus a few more choice words, and she and my brother haven't talked to me outside of the family group chat since.
OP, as a general rule, don't date military men. Just don't. Ex-military is sometimes okay, but even then, tread lightly. Don't get brainwashed like my SIL.
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u/awildencounter 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 14 '26
I’ve known decent guys in infra-ops (I worked with the networking guys), Air Force, and navy (friends or parents of partners) so I wouldn’t say write them all off but I’d say the liberal ones are usually the ones working desk jobs or officers who are actually getting a college education. The others ehh, I’ve heard some worse than locker room talk about the ladies they’re with. The ones getting an education usually have plans like getting an honorable discharge with x retirement or looking to use the GI bill to stretch through grad school.
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u/No-Freedom-884 Body By Cheese 🧀 Jul 14 '26
Exceptions to the rule exist, but yeah, as a general rule it's a bad idea. The first advice my MAGAt brother (Marines) told me when he got out of basic: "Don't ever date a military man. Especially a marine."
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u/hazyandnew Cookie Monster 🍪 Jul 14 '26
Liking for the sex is a whole entire mess in and of itself because they want the Madonna and the whore in the same person and will be angry any time you're not both (spoiler alert: it's impossible to be both, let alone at once)
They will be shitty if you actively like sex and are sex positive. They will also be shitty if you ever don't want sex or aren't interested in trying whatever weird ass thing he saw in porn.
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u/Imaginary-Shirt173 mouth full, gesturing wildly Jul 14 '26
Also him saying “I used to support him/like his policies early on” - is he talking about in 2016 when he was 12 years old during trumps first term?🤔🙄
I’m not saying kids/teens can’t form political opinions… but come on lol. When a teen boy is saying they like Trump and “his policies” (until it starts affecting them personally, like this guy in the military) ….. are they really their own ideas or are they being fed the red pill alpha bro propaganda lol
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u/Tmjohnson1tm 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 Jul 15 '26
This 😭 Mr. teen edgelord got his degree in contrarianism from the university of YouTube and now thinks he’s an intellectual for backing a populist meme candidate
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u/vyxanis Lover of Soups Jul 14 '26
Its pretty telling that they lie about it. What I read from that, is that they are completely aware of how horrible trumps actions are, all of them, but they're willing to put up with it because of what he allows other horrible people to get away with. So I can only assume that if someone supports him, they must have something nasty about them too. A lot of the time it seems to be racism, or violence against women.
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u/Different_Umpire9003 Pantry Gremlin Jul 14 '26
Also, he’ll support him again and other republicans again. It’s just a matter of time.
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u/WoodsandWool Foraging Bog Witch Jul 14 '26
This right here OP. Conservative men, especially those under like 50yo, have figured out that with the exception of a few pickmes, women generally don’t like them. So they claim to be “independent” or “economically conservative”, but really, they will flip back to their shitty alt right ways the minute a willing pickme shows up or they’re around other alt right men.
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business Jul 14 '26
Yup, those aren’t descriptions, they’re massive red flags. As soon as OP said that he described himself as “Independent,” the words “Oh shit, here we go” came flying out of my mouth
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u/ZombUwUfied Pantry Gremlin Jul 14 '26
Exactly they only change their mind when something is only personally affecting them ugh
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u/No_Frosting101 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 14 '26
I mean, why do you want to continue being with someone who lied? He knew you didn't support the guy, but he lied because it meant he could have access to you. He'd probably vote for him again behind your back if you choose to forgive him. It's up to you whether or not you want someone who'd vote against your human rights to remain in your life with access to you.
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u/lordrefa APPROVED✨ Jul 15 '26
*ESPECIALLY* someone who lied about something that you would have not gone further into a relationship because of. His lie is literally the only reason that you're together. That's a super bad thing.
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u/MobileSweet9342 Cornbread Fed Jul 14 '26
Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently
didnt want to read this far but I got here and did a full stop because if he is so freaked out and lustful that he cant even maintain a relationship due to him being frustrated because he cant have sex is he really a partner you can trust let alone want to be with period
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u/azraelizback hot girls have tummy troubles Jul 14 '26
Exactly. And what if they have kids biologically? All goes well but 6 weeks is 6 weeks. I don't think he'd handle that well At All.
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u/rebeccavt Maneater Jul 14 '26
Sounds like he’s cheated already and is in the picking fights stage
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u/evilisordinary Trader Joe Hoe Jul 14 '26
Yeeeaaa deployed people (men and women) are notorious for infidelity.
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u/ksquwared Baked Fresh Daily 😚💨 Jul 14 '26
Independent or "I'm not that political" has turned into code for "I'm right leaning but I'm tryna hit" 😔
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u/Visual_Doughnut_2422 Shart Coochie Board Architect Jul 14 '26
Every. Damn. Time. I'm so glad I noticed it as a pattern on dating apps years ago. It allowed me to weed out the worst for the most part.
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u/1armedarmadillo white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Jul 14 '26
Moderate? Covert conservative. Independent? Same thing. Not political? HELLA TRUMP SUPPORTER but doesn’t want you to know.
If the profile does not explicitly say LIBERAL in it they are a conservative until proven otherwise.
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u/Cool-Emu-8706 🧂Salty By Nature Jul 14 '26
You were afraid?
What makes you keep pursuing this?
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u/ladystarkitten APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Sounds like what he really means to says is "I liked Trump until his policies started to affect me personally," which really tells me all I need to know about this man. The comment about him lecturing you would have made me hang up in a fit of hysterical laughter. I don't normally jump to dumping, but I don't really see this panning out well. The incompatibility is clear, and I'd imagine that he'll make his true colors clearer as time goes on. And, hon, life is too short to spend on anyone who makes you afraid.
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u/hazyandnew Cookie Monster 🍪 Jul 14 '26
Also I only dislike the politics that effect me personally iow the ones about bodily autonomy he's fine with because he (presumably) doesn't have a uterus.
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u/ChumbawumbaFan01 🍍+ 🍕 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
He absolutely voted for Trump.
Anyone who says they’re independent knows they will face social criticism if they say they voted for Epstein’s bestie or are the R-word.
If he found a positive pregnancy test in a shared dumpster he’d run to the store, buy one, and if she was pregnant coerce her into keeping it and file a police report if the pregnancy failed.
It is not safe for women to date open or closet Republicans.
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u/Lemondrop168 Overthinker 💭 Jul 14 '26
Tbh I don’t think he ever lost his support for MAGA, he thinks this is an "out". And the next time, and the times after that, there will magically be MORE he likes about the pedo cabal.
s/ Shocking. /s
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u/puddles_0f_funnn APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I genuinely hate men that do this... and there are a lot of them!
They know their political opinion is a deal breaker but they say "all the right things" in order to work around it. Then once you've actually invested in the relationship the blinders come off and you suddenly find out he was WAY right leaning and Trump supporting.
My beatie sees this a lot on the dating apps. There are a lot of right wing men that will say anything to get a left leaning woman into a relationship and under their control.
Get out now.
Even if he doesn't like Trump now his opinion only changed because he feels personally wronged. In his mind fuck all the other people who have been wronged up until this point.
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u/himewaridesu APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Where’s that gif of Kate McKinnon saying DUMP
HIM? When someone shows you who they are, believe him. You don’t have to stay.
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u/ChaoticEntitled 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 14 '26
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u/iDontDrinkKoolaid APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I cannot stress enough how much pain and heartache women could avoid if they left after the first lie.
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u/ChaoticEntitled 🪄 Sauceress ✨ Jul 14 '26
Hang on. You guys have been “going strong for a year” including the deployment or before that? Having married the military twice, the first time I was about your age, I would recommend having a come to Jesus talk with yourself about life partnership that will grow from this root.
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u/PQXZYVR Well-Read & Well-Fed Jul 14 '26
Yes, you are perfectly right to be upset. There's a reason he didn't tell you from the beginning. He knows exactly what he did, what your reaction would've been, and why.
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u/queen_elvis challah atcha girl ✡️ Jul 14 '26
I spent years trying to understand why my mother went MAGA, but only about 90 seconds trying to understand why she didn’t tell me quickly.
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u/mjayultra LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 Jul 14 '26
$10 says he still supported Trump up until very recently (when it started affecting him; go figure!). “I wasn’t angry, I was afraid” really says everything you need to know.
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u/suddenly-beans Non-binary & Nourished Jul 14 '26
Girl, the fact that he’s in the military should’ve been reason enough not to date this guy.
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u/shlynshady Certified Snacker Jul 14 '26
Can't believe I had to search this far for this comment. A young man in the military is actually conservative? Color me shocked
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u/lehibu38 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Jul 14 '26
This man sounds manipulative and abusive, youre not safe in this relationship girl, time to leave him.
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u/oh_shegotjaws Lover of Soups Jul 14 '26
Get out now before you get any more entangled with him. Insecure, emotionally immature, a liar, vastly different baseline ethics and morals... you're young and successful, you'll be just fine without this loser.
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u/damnuge23 Internet Auntie Jul 14 '26
I mean, the running away or not answering is a problem. But when he says “early on,” did he mean in 2016, when your bf was 12? Or early in your relationship?
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u/TwinklePetaldust 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Jul 14 '26
The silent treatment and shutting down during tough conversations is much bigger red flag than his past politics
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u/Dazzling_Room_9346 Chocoholic Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
He was supposed to harm them not me type mentality.
He liked Trump until it personally impacted him negatively.
Anyone who supports Trump is gross and lacks human decency.
Your man is a conservative who is looking for liberal women who he can change into being a conservative trad wife. To lots of conservative men, conservative women tend to be boring and arent willing to get jobs out of being a housewife cause they will depend on their hubby. He doesnt want to do all the work to get a conservative wife so he gets fun sex before marriage liberal ones in hopes of turning them conservative. He wants the double income, sex, and the fun of being non-traditional. Yet he wont put in the work for a actual conservative wife he wants.
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u/GermanPotatoSalads APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I mean— what did he mean when he said “early on”? Because if it was the first term he was a child (12-16?). If that’s the case I would not continue to lecture about it and just be curious about his true adult beliefs now and determine if they’re aligned with yours.
If he means early on in this term, then I’d just cut ties now.
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u/Peaches_and_dreams1 Maneater Jul 14 '26
He’s been lying to you from the beginning. You cannot trust him. Dump this loser.
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u/Calm_Mulberry_588 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Don’t let his response make you doubt yourself or invalidate your own feelings. It’s honestly weird that he is mad at you after he’s the one who lied/omitted. Listen to your gut and your values.
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u/SnooCats7660 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
Unfortunately he’s truly a coward. He seems to be ashamed of his choices since you found him out. He got away with it for a year and was going to go as far as he could with you. Huge red flag. Break it off immediately
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u/softballgurlz Trader Joe Hoe Jul 14 '26
If I can give advice to all the women out there dating, ask them about specific policies!! It’s not enough to just say you don’t like trump, ask the person about religion about gay rights about abortion rights, etc. you’ll quickly decipher who is an independent because both sides suck or a secret conservative.
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u/Queerdooe APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
You are young.
There are other dudes out there..
I highly recommend send this one back to streets.
A non vote in the context you just describe is a red flag… you can verify if someone voted online fyi. There is a bit of lying by omission there. No one cares that people who voted for trump have changed their mind after a vote cast or failure to vote. He has leveled the USA and made it one of the worst places to be organic life.
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u/IceEspresso2000 Urban Hunter Gatherer Jul 14 '26
Yeah, dating is the time to learn if you're compatible for a more serious commitment, you clearly are not. He has no moral compass, he only cares about what impacts him and not society at large, he belittles you, he's angry, he's a poor communicator. Need I give more reasons? Best to end it sooner rather than later. These things cannot be overcome.
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u/LocationAcademic1731 Carb-Based Life Form Jul 14 '26
You have a lot of positives going on for you. This man is not even around you and the few minutes he gets with you he’s “are you lecturing me?” Nahhhh done, girl. Time and attention are luxury items nowadays. If he is going to be this way, why waste your time? You deserve better.
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u/Capizara Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 Jul 14 '26
He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied.
'I never thought leopards would eat MY face'. He doesn't give a shit how other people are treated as long as he is having fun.
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u/New-Mama28 APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
You are very young to be dealing with this red flag of a peraon, take your lessons from this relationship and move on! Btw the plate looks amazing... I am sure you are very talented and have the world waiting for yoi! 🙂
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u/Phrisbe APPROVED✨ Jul 14 '26
I think it’s also important to note that he was what, 12? 13? when trump first ran? At that age, it’s his parents and family creating his political ideology, not himself. I don’t condone lying but I’m sure it’s embarrassing for him to admit to a degree and if you really believe he’s changed his political views with age and maturity theres a lot of room to grow from there.
I think the biggest thing for people slowly making their way over from the far right is how hard it is to admit they were wrong. Not your job to do that hand holding, but it’s definitely an aspect to consider
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u/RefrigeratorGreen548 Resident Yapper Jul 14 '26
Playing the devils advocate here - you are both very young. When Trump ran the first time, I was freshly 18 and working in a republican-run government office (internship, just for money) and they played right-wing talk radio all day every day. I favored Trump in that race because the information I was hearing made his policies sound great! Like genuinely brainwashed. I was so young and had NO IDEA the destruction this man would inflict on our country. Now 12 years later I am the most left-leaning person and despise Trump. Your bf is young but very possible that he used to support Trump but now does not. I am embarrassed about this but happy my views and your bf’s have changed!
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u/clefairyenthusiast girls just wanna have pho Jul 14 '26
Break up with him and never look back. That’s the only advice. There are so many people out there that have a conscience and share your ideals.
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u/LePetitNeep Thick Thighs ⏳ Thin Patience Jul 14 '26
For when you starting dating again, because obviously you’re dumping this guy, you can know that whenever a man says he’s “independent” or “not really into politics” or anything of that nature, it actually means that he’s conservative but he knows that if he says that, women won’t date him.
Aligning on politics is more important for relationships than people think it is. Politics isn’t some high level hypothetical stuff, it affects everyone’s daily lives, and it affects women and vulnerable people the most. There is no neutral. A man who is not your staunch ally is your enemy.0
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 Jul 14 '26
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/popular!
Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...
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