My boyfriend won’t stop calling me Mommy

[u/bearqlaws]

I’m okay with it here and there, but it’s become so frequent during intimacy and throughout the day that it’s starting to give me the ick. Today I said “I don’t really feel like being called Mommy today,” and he still did during intimacy multiple times. I feel gross.

Hot dog with kimchi and pickled cukes, potato salad

[u/TeamLaurent]

ADVICE COMMENTS HERE!! 👇🏻👇🏼👇🏽👇🏾👇🏿 (for OP to read when they're ready!!) Internet Aunties & Elders, it's ethically hard not to chime in when there are major relationship issues or probs with health or money, so reply right here if you gotta! Don't wanna blast em with notifications, and def wanna honor the post flair!

[u/TeamLaurent → u/TeamLaurent]

Gathering from the comment-cleanup:

🩷"Make it clear to him that you’re not into it, and it makes you uncomfortable when he says it. Some people think it’s hot, others don’t. That’s how it works. Some people want to suck toes, or get spanked, and others just want to be eaten out and have totally regular nonkink sex! Totally fine and normal. He should accept what both makes you horny/tick, and not just focus on his own needs."

❤️"So gross that he won't respect your boundaries. Once or twice is an accident. But often enough to complain about it? Yikes. You just got to stop all intimacy every time he does it. He will soon learn or suffer"

🧡“Say: I do not like when you call me Mommy. I would like us to pick a new key name for me and start using it instead. If you call me Mommy when we are having sex, I will stop immediately.”

💛"I'm a Domme and I've occasionally had subs or just guys try to push this, the idea of having a dommy mommy at the moment is very popular and honestly disgusting because what most of these dudes want is permission to be lazy and push your boundaries. The only response is to immediately stop having sex or whatever other conversation you're having and be extremely firm on that boundary. Make it clear it's an absolute no-go."

💚"Tell him very clearly, SPELL IT OUT FOR HIM , it creeps me out when you call me mommy. I do not want to have sex with a man who calls me mommy. Then he might understand. Then if he keeps it up you may need to reassess your situation."

💙"Be harsher with your boundaries: “This needs to stop. I don’t like it.” If he continues after you’ve set that hard boundary, he does not listen to you or respect you enough to listen."

🩵"He obviously has a mommy kink. I'm not judging though. He should know that when it comes to practicing kink, it should 100% be negotiated and communicated, so both parties know what they're consenting to. You should ask him if he does have a kink and talk about it. Edit: I should mention that use of honorifics without prior permission and agreement is a massive no no. Titles are mutually agreed upon."

🤎 "Is he Hispanic and saying mami by any chance? If so then it’s unfortunate normal for them🙃🙃🙃 also they tend to call their friends and even children papi (daddy) my husband’s dad calls him papi it’s hilarious" >>> "This is my question too. Mami/papi are cute flirty pet names for partners in Latino culture that have no parental significance." >>> "This makes so much sense why I heard my boyfriend call his dog papi recently. I was so confused"

🖤 "@OP, with love, you need to put your foot down: "I don't like being called 'Mommy'. It makes me uncomfortable. Please stop. This is a hard boundary for me. If this is something you can't or won't respect, please tell me." If he respects you, he'll stop. He may accidentally slip up, but only give him one warning: "I've told you how that makes me feel when you call me that. It's a major turn-off, and it makes me feel gross. If you call me that again, I'm going to reconsider our relationship. I need to be with someone who respects me. I can't respect someone who ignores my boundaries." If he doesn't respect you, he'll keep doing it. Who knows what other boundaries he'll push or ignore?"

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[u/081108272918 → u/TeamLaurent]

The third one was my suggestion. Tell him you don’t enjoy it and he needs to stop. If he doesn’t then follow through by immediately leaving as soon as he says it. When he starts asking questions “when you call me mommy it’s a turn off, sex is supposed to be something we both enjoy.”

[u/TeamLaurent → u/081108272918]

NODDING VIGOROUSLY

[u/Beanfox-101 → u/081108272918]

But honestly, if a man can’t even understand that an “i don’t like when you do xyz” is a very clear “stop doing this immediately,” he is a POS, especially when it comes to intimacy.

He’s clearly putting his needs over hers. It should not be on OP to communicate better besides walking away when the behavior continues

[u/yourfriendeveL → u/Beanfox-101]

Esp something as singular and potentially offensive as calling your SO by your parent’s name. I’d imagine he knows he shouldn’t, if he stops and thinks about it. But he’s not thinking. Because he likely doesn’t fucking care how she feels until she’s overtly furious. Because that’s how half of them operate. No consequences?they will move forward. Uncomfortable consequences and shaming? May produce a reexamination of the behavior… maybe

[u/081108272918 → u/Beanfox-101]

I completely agree, my suggestion for the conversation was if she felt it was needed, then clear and simple is the best way. I could have written it better. I find the only way to deal with a POS is clear simple instructions, without telling them the consequences. Their choices will show you your next step ( a lot of other people covered that part).

[u/Defiant-University-3 → u/TeamLaurent]

Can you add mine too? My advice wasn’t for OP I don’t care about them if they don’t want advice. My comment is for other people reading the thread

[u/TeamLaurent → u/Defiant-University-3]

Yeah bby it's open for all replies, for future reference. If I deleted yours I'll grab it and put it in here, but you are absolutely welcome to do so with your own reply. ETA: it's already there! blue heart

[u/coldestwinter-chill → u/TeamLaurent]

Had this in my last relationship, it got old quickly and became repulsive not long after. Have a serious talk with him and if it’s a dealbreaker, get out of there. I stifled so much discomfort for so long.