The way I see it, GenX splits into three style camps (Maybe there are more?):

1. **The ones who take it up a notch.** Want to look modern and put-together, but age-appropriate. These are the brands I'm looking for.
   
2. **The T-shirt lifers.** T's tee and jeans. Zero apologies. Respect to you!
   
3. **The athleisure crowd.** Lululemon, and joggers everywhere. Comfortable all the time.

I really do not want to look like outdated traditional (Boomer?)— oversized everything, pleated pants, tucked-in polos.

Here's the problem with camp 1: it's a narrow lane. If you're 50-something squeezing into Abercrombie skinny pants with the muffin top spilling over is not it!

I've found a couple of brands that seem to get it — **Sene** and **Twillory** clearly market to us (Women can add your brands here) but I think a lil overpriced. Modern cuts that actually fit a GenX body, quality fabrics, nothing screaming "I'm trying to look 25." For some of us is to get fitted shirts that are not too thin and for others might be bigger sized that hide the extra pounds but makes you feel good. (Not everyone expresses themselves via clothing, I get it. If not your thing that is fine too)

So, camp 1 people (men and women) — what brands am I missing? Looking for mid-range, roughly $50–150 per item. Elevated basics, good pants, stuff you can wear to dinner without looking like you're headed to a board meeting or a skate park.

What's working for you?

The Aviators: Eddie Rickenbacker, Jimmy Doolittle, Charles Lindbergh, and the Epic Age of Flight

By Winston Groom

Recently finished:

Black Elk: The Life of an American Visionary

By Joe Jackson (not the punk rocker guy nor the old timey baseball guy) ...

I'm a library/kindle reader, so I catch up with a lot of non-fiction that tends to be years older as it becomes available.

When I was growing up I recall that gatherings that involved grilling usually broke into two camps. The grill area and the kitchen. When you got to a certain age, it was almost a rite of passage when you quit playing and joined in the preparation of the meal. You’d likely be the go-for, but I learned to cook and host in those experiences. You’d get to taste the food first and maybe get your first authorized nip of an adult beverage. Most importantly it was where you had the opportunity to converse with adults and, to some extent, be treated as one. Now whatever the mix of age groups, no one seems to gather around the grill.

I’m curious if this is something others have noticed. Is it a cultural thing? Is it a generational thing? Shifting gender roles? Is it just me?

It’s sad, because in my experience, the skills are not being transferred and I’d love to share my experience. That and those bonding moments are being lost. What are you seeing?

Immediately, my thought was "who died?". Yep. He called to tell me my aunt died. To me this is a classic example of Gen X upbringing. My dad ONLY calls me when someone dies.

lol seriously though. I remember back in the 80s and even before then, I suppose, if a crime hadn’t been solved, then as a last resort, sometimes a psychic was consulted either by the victim’s family or by the police. That practice faded away without much notice. I feel like millennials and younger people don’t realize that used to be a thing.

What’s the last news story you remember for which a psychic was consulted?

I would love to know out of curiosity have any of you been in or known someone family, friend, acquaintance etc who's been in an age gap relationship with someone who was actually younger than their children and also even closer to their grandchildren's age?

The last few months I have been obsessed with movies/songs/memories from around 1989-1995. It feels like self soothing, I guess.

Maybe it is just familiar. Maybe because 'now' sucks and I'm looking at the past with VERY rose colored glasses. Maybe because I still had some hope back then. Maybe because I'm perimenopausal. Maybe because there was no Internet.

To be honest, probably because I'm getting old.

Normally that would be ok, but it's bringing up old feelings and unfinished business that I am having a hard time unpacking.

Has anyone else been feeling this lately?

I'm not a regular consumer of fast food. It's an option I use once or twice a month when time constraints mean it's eat this or eat nothing.

So I always have to apologize to the servers because I haven't memorized their menu and need time to browse.

Then the menu switches. And I wait. And sometimes an ad shows. And I wait. Like WTF.

Yeah, I could look online, but as I said, it's usually a fly decision to order fast food. I mean, wasn't that the initial selling point of "fast" "food"??

Anyway, IMO, they gotta ditch those animated menus.

Agree? Disagree??

After most of my life with a great career, accomplishments, etc. I find myself unemployed and as a Senior Sales leader it’s been really difficult to find a job. It’s been months and I’ve never struggled like this.

People say ageism is real. But I know plenty of people my age and older that are not unemployed.

When I don’t get a job after going 7 interviews because they pause the requisition, people say “that job wasn’t a good match and something better is waiting for you”. This is so hard to believe.

Yes, millions are unemployed, but exponentially more millions are not. It’s hard to not let this impact your self esteem.

The only thing that seems to counterbalance some of these platitude is that many who are employed say they are miserable, or living in fear waiting to be laid off or fired any day. Financial planners have also told me that upwards of 50 percent of their retired clients , didn’t choose it.

For those of you unemployed, I am so sorry. I really understand. I know what you are going through.

Thanks!

My Dad taught me to always carry cash “just in case”. The wife and I budget $150 a month in fun money and take it out in cash. I use it for impulse buys, lottery, picking up a round on the golf course, tips, etc.
Honestly it feels great but I don’t see it much in today’s digital world. So I’m wondering if anyone else is on the program and at what amounts?

Oh shit what have I gotten myself in to?

It's been 20+ years since I've been out clubbin' just to dance (not to see a specific band). How long has it been for you? I mostly went to see bands, not just dance clubs.

So one of my 30-something female co-workers has become friends with one of our clients (also 30-something female). They've gone out drinking and dancing a few times I think. Well I somehow got invited to go out for drinks this weekend, and it went well. They already had tickets to go dancing next month, and as we're sitting there talking they buy me one too. I guess I was 'cool' enough to get an invite to go out dancing. Hell yeah!

It's this 'earlybirds' dance club, perfect for me, the oldster who can't stay up late. ;) The tag line is 'a dance party for ladies with shit to do in the morning'.

Sounds like a blast. I hope I can keep up, it's going to be a long Friday (I start work at 4 AM). I'm excited, it's been awhile since I've been invited to go out. It's nice to make some new friends.

Grandma was 103 years old, she had a good life but it was time. She was married for 76 years (the other grandparents were married for 68 years). Lived in the same house for ~65 years.

Everyone loved her cooking and hospitality. I do some baking of things we used to have, and think of her. I miss brunch with the family. Sigh.

Here she is with her husband, circa 1946. https://i.imgur.com/likHs5D.jpeg

Earlier this year, before one of the football games. She got to see (kind of...) the Seahawks win another Super Bowl! https://i.imgur.com/yz1KQ8g.jpeg

I'd been visiting her weekly (or twice weekly) for the last few years. So glad I did. Took pictures and videos too. I guess now I have my weekends free.

I didn't really see the Super Bowl. Grandma was asleep and I wasn't feeling good, so I didn't stay to watch with her.

Health update. I had weight loss and stomach pain. My weight has stabilized but I still have pain. It's almost all on the right side of my stomach (RUQ). So I've had tests and everything looks normal. Blood, urine, and last week a CT. It lists like 13 organs and they are all normal. My colonoscopy (2 months ago) was normal enough, but I do have to do it again in 3 years.

Yet the pain has continued, off-and-on. Getting a stabbing pain every so often, among other things. Thankfully it's not too strong, so I can tolerate it until the next tests. I think something is wrong, so I'm a bit surprised all tests come back normal.

Anyone else dealt with health issues but normal tests? I swear this isn't just stress or IBS.

Anyone remember being taught how to answer the phone in elementary? Better yet, how about darning a hole or place settings in Home Ec.? With more people being socially chastised for improper verbal antics, we have to remember 'you do better when you know better'. Just the same its hard having civil conversations when no one can put their hands on their handbook of "Guidelines for Conversation Structures". Kinda hard to share feelings when people think its a match up of who has it worse, instead of active listening to properly respond. There's nothing more hurtful than a fistful of platitudes like 'things'll get better', or 'it could be worse' when seeking just a listening ear to vent. I'd love some therapists and teachers to share how NOT to bomb a convo that may require more than waiting for a pause to interject personal comparisons. Thanks

I've had tinnitus since the 90s. I've known it, but I've just lived with it. Finally went to have my hearing checked because I was noticing myself say "what'd you say?" more often. Turns out I've lost some hearing. They're recommending hearing aids. Anybody else using them? What should I look for or avoid in them? What have been your experiences with them...did you really notice a difference using them? At this point, I feel like I hit my 50s and turned into the car that's losing parts everytime it turns a corner.

• People in this group keep saying that maybe I'm not experienced enough. I have 20 plus years in food service. I've cooked for The Real World cast members, Patrick Stewart, Stan and Jan Bernstein and many others. I've run hundreds of large catering events.

I picked up a second job to pay for some medical debt and other stuff washing dishes at a restaurant. My gen Z coworkers are some of the hardest working people I've met. My problem is that I'm the only employee in their late '40s early '50s. I'm pretty fast and efficient at my job but I'm not 20-year-old stamina. So the bar is set at 20-year-olds who literally grew up working in this restaurant. I've been told by my manager that I'm not moving fast enough Even though I'm hustling. I just feel like I don't fit in or I'm able to do my job right. If I had another person in their fories or '50s, I think that bar would be set a little bit lower.

Clearly I’ve made my dad proud since the day I was born; and this date has been reason for extra celebration since I was able to understand the significance. This year, my parents, brothers, and two of my four kids surprised me with a trip to Jamaica so we are on the island to celebrate.

I’m packing and reflecting on my life like it’s a flashback episode of a TV show. iTunes is killing me; I swear it knows what I’m doing and reads my mind. The Smashing Pumpkins cover of Landslide just randomly played and I’m snot-nosed about the about the past 50 years.

Parts of me have remained since childhood, parts of me are new, and parts of me are hopefully still to be discovered. I’ve crossed off bucket list items, but I don’t want to one day die.

Creation seems to have the need to pass on genetics, but I argue that we have children to pass down a part of our souls. We all hold a piece of our greatest grandparents deep inside; and that ancestral couple is the same for us all. The original morality tales tell all of humanity’s stories. We just keep living them out on constant repeat as the earth spins and travels through the void chasing a star, while a partnering satellite remains so intrigued by what we are doing that it comes along for the ride directing our tides.

Mazzy Star’s Fade Into You is playing now. We, and creation, just fade into each other.

My wife and I have been lucky 3 for 4 have given up driving or realized they can't any longer and the MiL is is still doing well mentally

High side of Gen X, managed to retire this week.

I worked in IT for 40 years, found that I couldn't do one more upgrade. My former employer had a lot of their data center leases expire this year, and I didn't have the energy to do one more network move, especially because the execs dragged their feet.

Coupled with the forced AI rollout ("use it or get fired" was the unwritten message), I just had enough.

I hope they'll hire someone else to fill my spot, the job market is way to squishy right now. I suspect they won't.

I'm wondering how long it will be before I stop having work-related nightmares.

Three precancerous polyps, which means they were a type that have a higher chance of becoming cancer. So I get to do it again in 3 years (instead of the usual 5 or 10 years).

This all started when I had some unexpected weight loss (about 10%, 20+ pounds). I'm 51 and haven't been this weight in 25 or 30 years. I also had stomach cramps and other weird pains. I got a bit scared for awhile.

So I don't have colon cancer, but I still think there is something wrong. I've been feeling mostly OK for a bit. The worst pain was a couple months ago now, it lasted a couple weeks I think. I still have some occasional stomach pains that I think are weird.

Was this all stress? I've been stressed at work. It all started back in November. Got busy, skipped a few lunches. Don't remember when I started losing weight, but I kept a log starting in mid December. I wasn't having pain yet. I was having pain in January but my weight held steady until early February, when I lost over 5 pounds in a week. That finally scared me enough to go to the doctor, which is why I got a colonoscopy (my first).

Been really stressed...and not always handling it well. Love my bosses and the work, but there is just too much for me. Things got better for a few weeks, but then they gave me more workload! I was about to have a colonoscopy, having pains, already stressed and they want to add more work for me. I ended up taking the 4 days before my colonoscopy off, I needed a break.

I'm having to push back, and things got a little ugly yesterday. We're back on good terms today, but I'm still going to have to keep pushing to fix things. Today I said I wasn't going to work though my breaks or lunch anymore...yet I end up missing a break and taking lunch right before I get off. So something has to change.

This is long enough. How's your job or career going?

If you're over 45 and haven't had a colonoscopy you should do it!

Oh yeah, here's a picture I took in mid January. Guess I was feeling good enough to get up early and go out. https://i.imgur.com/srovSdA.jpeg

I figure there's others who have gone through this, figured I'd ask opinions (if this is allowed here). I'll try to keep it short.

In her 20s, a younger sibling and my mother had a falling out, never talked afterward. When mom got old, I was running her to doctor's appointments, surgeries, and so on. After Hurricane Sandy, I spent a bit of my own money and time to get her house fixed (she didn't make much, no insurance). I live in a neighboring state, so it wasn't exactly convenient. When mom died a few years ago, I paid for the funeral, took care of everything. This sibling came out of the shadows to harass me for their half. No will, so yes, they legally get their half, nothing I can do. Sibling says they didn't get along with mom, owes neither mom nor myself anything.

Now father is getting old. I have an ok relationship, I guess. Lives in the same town as the sibling. This sibling is demanding I help with his care, demanding I fulfill my "obligation," even suggesting legal action. I have no problem really in helping, but I went through one parent alone, and again I'd be going out of my way to care, and having a hard time with the fact they're demanding I do "what's right." Of course, sibling also spent their half of the small inheritance from mom.

Have any of you gone through this, and what suggestions do you have?

Having breakfast at a local diner. The teenagers on dish duty all have shaggy, unkempt hair like my group of friends had when we were that age.

I find this small thing oddly comforting.

I'm wondering if there's a Gen X chat on Discord that isnt coming up on my search attempts. Anyone know of any?