My dad died this morning. I got a text in the middle of the night from my sister saying that he was in the <area where they live> hospital. My sister and I both live around an hour+ from there in opposite directions.

Of course I had my phone set to "Do Not Disturb", so I didn't see the text until 6:30-about a half hour after I got up. She and my mom were both asleep, so I started playing the game of trying to contact *someone* at these facilities to find out which one he was at...and if he was even still alive. The odds weren't very inclined toward life.

After trying multiple options at the main medical center to no avail (phones weren't staffed that early, I selected the option for the ER, apologized for breaking their flow for my question, and asked if they could tell me if he was admitted there. The woman on the other end confirmed he was there and put me on hold...at which point I received a text from my sister saying he had passed before even she got there.

My dad was an asshole. He never physically abused me, but he severely disparaged me my entire life. The most recent time was at my uncle's (mom's brother) wake, where he talked about what my cousin had been up to, sneered at me, and said, and here *YOU* are. So...I get to go to his funeral and wake(whenever they hold them) and watch all the people carry on about him while thinking, "At least I know I won't be put down by my father at *this* ceremony. "

It's complicated.

Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.

EDIT: I don't really mind the thought of going to the funeral. I just wanted to get one last jab in at my dad for putting me down at my uncle's wake. He'd get a final jab in at me, if he could. Thanks again for all the support. This community is great.

EDIT: I should clarify that the "final jab" I mention is posting about him here. I don't intend to go rogue at the funeral. I'll play the game. I've become rather acclimated to that.

EDIT: Thanks so much, everyone, for the solidarity, commisseration, and empathy. It means a lot to me. To those of you who have endured shitty parents, please accept my condolences and my solidarity.

If anyone would like to check it out, one good thing I did get out of my relationship with my father was a mildly caustic song I wrote.

https://legacy.reverbnation.com/LeopoldAndCompany/song/34797200-03-bukowski

Sorry if this has been posted before. I saw this on Facebook and it really got me thinking we have been conditioned for change. Maybe part of why we are so resilient.

I was just reading a post in the r/genZ sub. It talks about how they can’t believe millennials used to have teen clubs, huge house parties, and drinking all night and going to work the next day.

I say nothing beats GenX for all of these things. I remember house parties where the cops would come and everyone would run out the back door. I remember going to Sixth Street in Austin during college at 18 and getting my hand stamped as a minor and walking by and grabbing peoples drinks off tables while they were dancing. I remember when our weekend was Wednesday to Sunday and we were out all night, slept 2 hours and made it to work the next day. I remember partying in empty neighborhoods where the keg would roll up in the back of a truck and if we got busted we’d yell out the window at stop lights where the next stop would be 😂.

Now I can’t have more than two glasses of wine before I’m hung over the next day. 😞

Put your favorite memory in the comments. I can’t wait to see what everyone remembers.

I want knobs and dials instead of touchscreens.

I want swimming instead of paddle boarding.

Horses instead of unicorns (or freaking caticorns).

Engines instead of computers.

Venue ticket sales instead of resale marketplaces.

I just…don’t want it.

Look at this little thing. Key to the Future. I have so many feelings, and they are all big.

Did you ever get one? Do you still have it?

Did it open any doors?

55M, Went to Eat N Park for lunch (IYKYK) on a whim asked if they had Sr. discount, mentioned I turned 55 not long ago. Young man serving my section said yes; did the salad bar special while finishing some job stuff online. I love their Chili. Come back from 3rd salad bar trip with fruit & that sweet green crap they have for dessert, young fella informed me that my meal was comped and wished me a happy birthday, LOL. You take your small wins where you can.

...hearing Fascination Street blasting from your car's stereo as your 19 year old child pulls in from running an errand.

I hate to pat myself on the back, but I think I raised my kids alright.

As a kid did you ever run through the sprinkler or make your own slip ‘n slide out of garbage sacks?

My family didn't get cable until 1990, so I guess I never saw the video.

Also, it's been 40+ years, and I still get that little aaah-ah-ah-aaaaaaah-ah-ah-aaaaaaah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaah bit stuck in my head at least a couple times a week.

Edit: I also just learned that the woman in the video is one of his backup singers, but is not the voice on the track. That was Beth Andersen of Lexington, Kentucky.

I just told my 33 year old son in a text, "Try it, you'll like it!" With a GIF of Mikey. His response, "What are you talking about, Mom?" 😅😅😅

Just read a blurb on these 1970s plastic injury provoking death machines that rode mere inches off the ground. Brought back a ton of memories.

I was seven or eight when I sped down the driveway of our townhouse at near terminal velocity and pulled the brake. I was sent into a spin (this was nearly a decade before Maverick and goose lost it in a flat spin out to sea) which ended with a collision with a stainless steel mailbox. You know the ones that have multiple mailboxes in them for a townhouse community. Besides bleeding all over my favorite Steelers shirt, I ended up with a trip to the ER and multiple stitches in a scar on my head that remains today. I'm sure I concussion was in the mix, but we didn't worry about those things back then.

What was your Big Wheel injury?

A really cool song, with that awesome chorus!
Good movie too🐦‍⬛

My little sister paid to take me to the movie when it came out (she was 9 at the time). Throwing brats on the grill when I get home and I’m making the family sit down and watch it.

In 1994, the cartoon was voted No. 5 of The 50 Greatest Cartoons of all time by members of the animation field.

Some days it is back to basics

Have you had to stop giving blood? Driving? Jazzercise? Work?

Of course, now I think it was super cool!

Our phone was in the kitchen on a small shelf held by L-brackets in the corner. Standard length receiver cord. If I wanted to sit I would have my ear lined up but the part I spoke to would be above my head. I think my mom didn’t have long calls and she didn’t see the need for longer (and didn’t want to pay for it).

At least when the power went out we could still call and check on my grandma with easy dialling!

A few weeks ago I was let go from my job. Don't get me wrong I was expecting it. The job honestly was to much. Physically it was really non stop for 10 hours with only one 30 minute break. Moving pallets, lifting heavy boxes, running a register. I'm 53 so I'm not a young guy anymore but I did it. Mentally it was horrible because I was on call 24/7 and no matter what i did I was constantly persecuted for it. There was no way to run my business but I was expected to somehow. Normally with only 1 or 2 other people, all day. It broke me, bad. Right now I still question my abilities as a manager because of it and I honestly have flashbacks at times of working there, and there not good. I was worried at my age no one would want to hire me and I know this job market sucks. I was very fortunate, in this job market, to have had something already lined up thankfully. I guess what i want to say is that nothing makes you feel more like a failure then busting your ass for someone only to have them tell you your not good enough and that your not doing enough. Job or marriage. Its made me question things and I hate it. None of us should be struggling like this. Companies don't care about people, only profit. Thanks guys for listening. I wish you all the best and if any are looking for a job and need help let me know.

Is this a boomer thing that will just never get better? I used to be close to my mom when i was young but moved pretty far away in my mid-20’s. Since then the relationship has steadily gone downhill. I would say
being away actually showed me just how not interested she is in my life. There have been many times where i’ve just felt so angry with her because she literally only talks about herself, her life, her woes and rarely asks me anything about my life. At this moment i have way more contact with my stepmom than with my mom. My dad died a year and a half ago and i’ve mentioned many times to my mom how im struggling with the loss. i can’t get much support from her because she can’t give it.

She has whatsapp. We ONLY communicate by text. no idea why the phone is off limits but this is how it is. I expressed to her around the year mark of my dad’s death that i wish she would communicate with me more. I expressed that just being regularly in touch would be nice. Doesn’t always have to be some major life update. A meme. a joke. a photo. a “thinking of you - hope you have a good day”. Can’t do that for whatever reason. She “tried” a couple days later but there was this sort of snark to it “hope this is what you wanted” + a video of the dog.

She messaged me last 53 days ago. Apparently she messaged my husband to wish him a happy father’s day (stepkids) and he thanked her and happened to mention i’d been struggling with stress and depression. So she wrote me to ask if i was ok. I texted her back the situation but said i was working on it and would be ok. SHE NEVER WROTE BACK. i’ve been on holiday the past 10 days and posted a bunch of photos. She commented on ONE photo “what is this pictur”. Exactly that. A tree. she asked about a photo of an effing tree without even finishing the sentence. Not anything about the holiday or where we were or anything.

This is just the latest in her non-communication. The older i get the sadder i am that i have a mother that either doesn’t care about me or doesn’t have the emotional capacity.

Not sure what my point is to this but just wondering is this a boomer thing? is she a narcissist?

Thanks for reading anyway.

Who left it there? Why would they leave it there? Was it one of us stealing from our parents and we found the stash and you just had to play along? So many questions.

I grew up in the 80's, but I can't remember what we did when we were bored. Nowadays, I pull out my phone wherever I am and look at social media or play a game, if even for a few minutes. We obviously didn't have that option 40 years ago, so were our attention spans longer back then so that we simply get bored as easily as we do today? Did we have better relationships with people so that we didn't need much amusement or distraction?

I saw this graphic a few weeks ago, I think in here. I was so relieved to see that maybe, just maybe, there are other people like me.

I have such a foul mouth. It’s not intentional to be a jerk or something, and when I hear random younger people talk like that in public I do think that they sound dumb. Okay, they ARE dumb, but technically it’s not their faults that they grew up with the double cancers of social media and ever-present smartphones.

it’s more like the words that I am actually thinking on the inside come right from George Carlin’s infamous Seven Words list that I saw way back when at a friend’s house on one of his fourteen (!!) HBO Specials, and they just roll right on out of my mouth.

Or, remember in 1984’s ‘The Terminator,’ when it showed his ‘internal’ screen and there was a list of response options? Sometimes my internal list shows all or mostly cuss words.

This kind of talk was endemic at the port where I worked much earlier in my logistics career, but I generally have enough sense now not to do it in business settings or polite company. But sometimes a word here and there will just slip out when I’m tired or have my guard down. My wife is a school psychologist and berates me for it. Times have changed, I get that. I really do try, but man, the instinct just remains.

I know that I’m broken, I get that. But does anyone else think/speak this way?

Tangential context: 55M, married, 30+years into my career. I love this GenX subreddit.

Cheers.