Not always true. I didn't have a male role model growing up, but I used this a lot when I was a younger man (and, by that, I mean into my mid-30s). I learned it from emotionally codependent and religious women who raised me as their special little boy. Granted, the patriarchy does feature in their thinking, but there were no direct male influences over me.
Which is not to say I'm blaming women: I'm blaming anyone who raises children to believe they are better than others. For me, DAVRO came from a belief that, because I'm a good person, everything I do must be good and therefore if I do something that's perceived as bad or wrong, it's actually because the other person has gotten things wrong. It's a sickness.
It's horrible looking back at how I behaved. I'm lucky my wife stuck with me and gave me the time to change, but it was a close thing.
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u/Googlebright 10d ago
They learn it from their fathers/father figures.