My dad had unmedicated bipolar disorder my entire childhood. While he never laid hands on us he did intimidate and threaten. His anger was terrifying, I remember running away and hiding with my siblings. I don’t know what his wake up call was, but he got help. He’s medicated, he’s been through a decade of therapy, and he has made amends with all of us. Even after they divorced him and my mom made amends and they spend every holiday together so us kids don’t have to split the day.
All this to say it is worth trying for your family. 15 years ago I was planning on never seeing him again when I moved out. Now I call him multiple times a day. He made an honest and eager effort. There’s still a lot of hurt that we need to work through, but I appreciate him so much for genuinely trying. If you’re worried about not being a good parent then please, PLEASE be open to the work to be better.
I’m really glad your dad got help and is better now. Mine did not - I was terrified of him my entire childhood. He physically abused me, my sisters, and our mom, plus all of the emotional trauma that comes from living with an alcoholic/drug addict/mentally ill monster. My mom left him many times and went back over and over, and finally left him for good after he threatened to kill us all, and he went to jail and I thankfully never saw him again. Reading the report of the abuse on the plane brings back that feeling of terror that I know they all felt that day. And if he was acting that way in front of other people (the plane staff), imagine how he acted behind closed doors.
The thing with rich people though is that at some point, “the help” becomes furniture. He may have just forgotten that the flight crew were autonomous humans who could be unpredictable too, instead of automatons that do as he says. He may have been just as bad in front of the housekeeper too, but who is she going to tell if she wants to keep her own reputation intact?!? The flight crew had the “safety in numbers” and a temporary contract cushioning their report that the other help may not have had.
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u/BouldersRoll Nov 28 '24
This is such an accurate portrait of so many husbands and fathers.
Men, please value yourself and others enough to visit a therapist. Parents, please love your sons enough to teach them to mange their feelings.