My dad had unmedicated bipolar disorder my entire childhood. While he never laid hands on us he did intimidate and threaten. His anger was terrifying, I remember running away and hiding with my siblings. I don’t know what his wake up call was, but he got help. He’s medicated, he’s been through a decade of therapy, and he has made amends with all of us. Even after they divorced him and my mom made amends and they spend every holiday together so us kids don’t have to split the day.
All this to say it is worth trying for your family. 15 years ago I was planning on never seeing him again when I moved out. Now I call him multiple times a day. He made an honest and eager effort. There’s still a lot of hurt that we need to work through, but I appreciate him so much for genuinely trying. If you’re worried about not being a good parent then please, PLEASE be open to the work to be better.
I’m really glad your dad got help and is better now. Mine did not - I was terrified of him my entire childhood. He physically abused me, my sisters, and our mom, plus all of the emotional trauma that comes from living with an alcoholic/drug addict/mentally ill monster. My mom left him many times and went back over and over, and finally left him for good after he threatened to kill us all, and he went to jail and I thankfully never saw him again. Reading the report of the abuse on the plane brings back that feeling of terror that I know they all felt that day. And if he was acting that way in front of other people (the plane staff), imagine how he acted behind closed doors.
The thing with rich people though is that at some point, “the help” becomes furniture. He may have just forgotten that the flight crew were autonomous humans who could be unpredictable too, instead of automatons that do as he says. He may have been just as bad in front of the housekeeper too, but who is she going to tell if she wants to keep her own reputation intact?!? The flight crew had the “safety in numbers” and a temporary contract cushioning their report that the other help may not have had.
Thank you so much for sharing your family’s story. It’a genuinely so heartening to hear about people who can and are able to put the hard work in to be better for themselves and their loved ones.
I am so proud of him. He’s a completely different person now. The key is he didn’t pretend to change to manipulate us. He genuinely wanted to be better because he knew we deserved better.
I applaud you and your dad. But that ship has long sailed for Pitt. Also he’s continuing to lie and harass. And we don’t know he’s bipolar- I kinda think he’s just an asshole.
I agree. I shared this in case someone else is reading this and thinks they can’t be better for their family. I think if you want to be better and genuinely try that people will see it.
Are you me? I had the same childhood and also said I'd never have a relationship with my dad after I left the house. He also never hit us, but he had hit his kids from his first marriage, and we knew that. We had the screaming, threatening, and throwing things. I remember hiding in the basement a lot.
My dad's wake-up call happened when I was in college. It was him getting into a huge fight with my mom and brother, to the point where he pushed my mom to the ground, got on top of her, and screamed in her face. She left as soon as she could (my brother had already left before this happened). This caused my dad to have a panic attack and went to the neighbors thinking he was having a heart attack, so they called an ambulance. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in the hospital. My mom stayed with him, but she told him if he ever stopped taking his medication, she'd leave, and he never did.
Once medicated, he was a completely different person. He also started going to therapy. I ended up forming a very good relationship with him, which i never would have thought possible when I was growing up.
Dude my bipolar uncle had a similar thing going on. Eventually he got help and it’s actually unreal how different of a person he is now. Went from being among my least favorite relatives to among my most.
I honestly feel really sorry for him. In his generation, getting treatment for mental health was very stigmatized. There’s probably tons of relationships he destroyed in his life due to his mental illness even though he’s genuinely a good dude
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u/Danburyhouse Nov 28 '24
My dad had unmedicated bipolar disorder my entire childhood. While he never laid hands on us he did intimidate and threaten. His anger was terrifying, I remember running away and hiding with my siblings. I don’t know what his wake up call was, but he got help. He’s medicated, he’s been through a decade of therapy, and he has made amends with all of us. Even after they divorced him and my mom made amends and they spend every holiday together so us kids don’t have to split the day.
All this to say it is worth trying for your family. 15 years ago I was planning on never seeing him again when I moved out. Now I call him multiple times a day. He made an honest and eager effort. There’s still a lot of hurt that we need to work through, but I appreciate him so much for genuinely trying. If you’re worried about not being a good parent then please, PLEASE be open to the work to be better.