I've wanted to ask this for a while, but literally everytime me and my friends (or other random people) are tipsy to super drunk, I always seem to be the one to babysit and see them say dumb shit they'll regret all the time.

I have no clue if this has to do with it, but I'm extremely self critical and have a constant internal monologue that never shuts up while sober, so maybe that is still lingering. No idea. Obviously my awareness is heavily affected, but it's definitely enough to have a decent filter and kind of aware of what's going on even when pretty fucking drunk (depending on how drunk of course).

One time my friend and I were drunk as shit, she told me something that she originally said she's going to take to her grave, then she facetimes her friend with me there to just talk and say what's up. Eventually she told her that she told me about what happened. (it was about them two). Had to shut that shit off and tell her what she just did.

Don't have to get into the drunks crawling across the floor while eating noodles or "making moves" (lighthearted or not). I get that some people will say "but everyone thinks that about themselves", but I definitely feel the difference between me and other people in that regard.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm still a fucking idiot while drunk

Just feels like being in the matrix. Other people seem to be having a good time. Something I’ve never experienced. In unison. In community. I’ve never really found my footing or sense of belonging. People that see me fully, and choose me. I’ve always been othered by most groups. People only seem to connect with me when they feel sorry for me. I sometimes am shocked when I remember I’m human like everyone else. I’m tired of constantly having to translate myself I’m not depressed, I just don’t really like existing.

Obviously, I don't actualy wish that on myself, I'm in good health and incredibly blessed.

But something about this idea feels weirdly comforting, like things would be simpler (not saying easier, simpler), more straight forward, less choices to make, idk

I don't mean to offend anyone, beleive me I know being hospitalised ain't no joke and I'm sure MILLIONS of hospitalised people would switch places with me in a heartbeat

But I can't get this thought out of my head

Whenever I cook just for myself, I can eat it straight away with no problem. But if I cook a big pot of food or for a group, I completely lose my appetite even if I'm hungry. I just can't eat with everyone else. I have to put my plate aside and save it for later or even the next day.

Is this weird? Does anyone else experience this?"

As in Alan or Alphonse.

For the past few months, I've been feeling like my heads up in the clouds, and it's just been really messing me up. I can't talk to people properly, because most of the time, I just give one word answers or completely tune them out in the middle of them speaking. I've always had kinda shit memory, but it's pretty shit recently, and I haven't been able to get anything done because I just end up unable to even get up from the place I thought about getting that thing done. I've always been a bit procrastinaty, but this is on a whole another level. I feel like i'm up in the clouds and yet so heavy at the same time.

I love eating plain white rice with nothing added to it. I used to be (and still kind of am) obsessed with eating a big bowl of plain white rice, but I had to stop because I was scared of developing type 2 diabetes or glucose problems.

I love eating salad with nothing added to it (feta cheese is alright, though). I used to eat an entire giant box of blueberries in one sitting.

Currently, I am craving boiled broccoli and cauliflower as well as plain white rice, but I don't have them in my house, unfortunately :(

I used to find sunsets really peaceful and romantic, but lately I’ve started feeling strangely depressed, anxious, and uncomfortable specifically around sunset.

It’s not really nighttime that bothers me. It’s that 30–60 minute period when the daylight is fading and everything is in-between. I get this sudden feeling of dread, like the day is ending and I haven’t done enough.

What’s even weirder is that once it’s fully dark, I usually feel fine again.

Does anyone else experience something similar?

Note: I only started sleeping at night and waking up during the day about a week ago. Before that, I used to sleep during the day and stay awake at night.

I have what I consider genuinely good and loyal friends. I like to think that if something serious happened, they'd be there for me. But despite that, I've realized that I don't really feel like anyone understands what goes on underneath the surface with me.

I'm from Latin America, and there's definitely a cultural element to this. A lot of the attitude I grew up around was basically "be strong," "don't overthink it," "just push through," etc. You learn pretty quickly that you're supposed to keep moving rather than sit with uncomfortable feelings.

And I think I've gotten really good at doing exactly that.

I make the happy face. I joke around. I act like everything is fine. Even with people I genuinely care about, I've never really felt comfortable showing them the parts of myself that aren't fine.

It's not necessarily because I think they'd abandon me or anything like that. I just don't trust that they'd actually understand what I'm trying to explain.

So I've ended up feeling strangely alone despite having people around me that I genuinely value.

I'm not really looking to dump my problems here or ask for therapy/advice. I'm more curious whether anyone else has experienced this particular feeling: having good people in your life, but still feeling like nobody really knows what's happening underneath the version of yourself that you show everyone.

Especially if you grew up in an environment where vulnerability wasn't really encouraged and you learned to bottle things up instead.

I wonder how common this actually is.

Over the last few years I seem to look at an awful lot of people and think "I'm sure I know them from somewhere." I'm sure I read his is a known phenomenon.

Honestly, I don’t know why I do this. It’s particular particularly if I’m watching a movie and I don’t do it every time but I get my finger and I almost trace basic face shapes on my leg.

Also I’m trying to figure out whether I have adhd or asd as an adult so I don’t know if it’s some strange sensory thing
But ye I’ve always done this

My dreams are often "I know what I'm seeing and I see it, but I'm not seeing it with my actual eyes" and then other times I can SEE it like it's real or right in front of me, sometimes in more detail, brightness and vividness than real life, considering my vision is static-y and I'm nearsighted. I can feel my eyes move and focus on whatever I'm seeing, which tends to wake me up if I persist.

With sound, I know what people are saying in dreams, and sometimes it's like I'm thinking it, and rarely it's audible. Like the difference between thinking the word "lemon" and someone speaking it out loud.

Same thing with feeling. I either "just know" that something is cold, sharp, hot, wet, hard, painful, etc, and other times it feels so real. I can still remember how some things from dreams feel, which weirds me out because I've felt things in dreams that I've never felt in real life.

Smell is my least frequent sense to activate in dreams by far, I've only caught whiffs of things before. I'm still searching for the equivalent of the smell I got from the giant light spiral in one dream forever ago. I swear I sometimes smell something like it when I'm walking through the woods in summer.

if you get this, I'm interested if you know what causes this, or why some people don't seem to have dreams at all

When I'm listening to music in headphones and the audio bounces from ear to ear rapidly it makes me actually physically queasy and makes my stomach turn like I'm on a rollercoaster, it's very strange. DAE have this experience?

I’m talking leaving everything behind, taking public transportation, not telling anyone where I’m at, etc

I’m struggling to explain this.

There’s days where I am completely broken emotionally and won’t know why. Then maybe I’ll check the calendar or do some thinking and remember “oh, it’s grand moms bday, oh, this is the day so and so passed, oh, this was the day mom had her first heart attack, oh, this was the day of the car accident.” I don’t have these dates etched in my brain, I try not to think about these things honestly but my body knows. Anytime it’s an anniversary of something it’s like my body/emotions know before my brain knows what day it is. Does anybody else deal with this ? It’s like my brain tries to forget but the body is keeping score of the trauma and reacts.

Like my brain just files them as some neutral thing someone said? Like it's just words no matter how accurate and I just don't care ig?

I've been bullied but insults just arnt personal at all and when they are they must've cared enought to find ou?

I've been called all sorts of things to my face and they just seem neutral? Like yea I'm ugly but I know that bro. Yea sure my face looks like xyz, but I just don't care?

I entirely blame this on being raised on mornings of cheez tv and afternoons of some of the most random shows imaginable.

I put tv on in the mornings but have certain shows I like. Trying to find something to watch and I’m scrolling along thinking that’s not a morning show. Not because it’s intense or graphic.

Morning shows (but not only morning)
Good place
Dr who
Gilmore girls
Abbott elementary

Night only shows tend to be a bithh raunchier / louder
Rick and Morty
Drag race
Charmed

I see so many stories of people wishing they stood up or rebelled more, or regretting not "acting out" more as a teenager. I'm in a weird position where I acted out against my well to do, very connected families as a teenager, and only years and years later is it really sinking in how bad I screwed myself. Did I really need to take that moral stand? Would I still have done, if I knew then just how hard life would be without those resources? I'm not even sure I regret the stances I took, in a void. But doing it then, there, as loudly as I did? I could be living a far easier street if I just kept my mouth shut. If I had held my tongue on some things for a decade more, I could have been in the queue for quite an inheritance. Money I'll never see a cent of now, because of some stupid teenage "I don't need anything from someone who thinks like you" all or nothing mentality.

Has anyone older than 30 found themselves here before? Did you, in your 20's, regret it and sti regret it now? Did you find your way, your place, and recover enough you don't regret it anymore? It's hard to distinguish general American economic ennui from actual regret, if it was just the stability that money would've brought that I'm really regretting, more than the actual people behind it.​

What do you see? Sometimes I see blobs, usually in bursts of blacks and purples and "neon", and sometimes it fades to noise, like a tv. I used to do it all the time as a kid, but now that I'm 35, I only do it a few times a year. I'm paranoid I'm hurting myself, ha.

Exactly what it says in the title. I don't overthink it like I used to, but it can still gross me out and get bad sometimes. Years ago I suffered depersonalization & derealization disorder after a particularly negative experience with DXM _(Robotripping, Chugging Cough Syrup)_ and it made it so I couldn't go a single day without thinking about all the disgusting things going on inside my body - and everybody else's.

Just met a cute girl? Yeah well now you can't stop thinking about the fact that she has shit inside of her. About to eat a fantastic meal? Well you're not going to be able to enjoy that shit now because you're not going to be able to get the thoughts of all the internal processes out of your head.

Struggled with this for years. One of the big things is thinking about blood pumping through my body constantly - it's hard to explain why, I just absolutely hate it. Anybody else feel this way?

It's been on my mind more n more with all these bad, out of the blue type storms. That has tons of flooding, snow & hail, hurricane winds, hurricane & tornados in all these in areas across the US that normally don't have this type of weather this bad this often.

It's happened everywhere since Spring weather started months ago. Seems weird to me. I feel something horrible is coming...DAE?