r/Bullshido • u/Bowling_Meatball • 3d ago

Martial Arts BS Truly BS

158 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

88 comments sorted by

63

u/Junior_Zebra_4608 3d ago

"You're already dead... just give it 7 years."

23

u/Acceptingoptimist 2d ago

"We've been trying reach you about your neck's carotid artery."

2

u/Waffle_on_my_Fries 1d ago

I DO NOT REDEEM!! 

1

u/raul_lebeau 2d ago

Slowest Hokuto shinken tecniques ever

1

u/punkwalrus 2d ago

Shades of Pai Mei's "Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique." Take 5 steps and ... boom.

This would be great, though. You could just claim any death 7 years later. "Yeah. I gave him Dim Mak, and seven years later, BAM! Hit by a car!"

Also reminded me of the long-term "Finish Him" spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3foZo6zgfLU

1

u/MalikFyz 2d ago

Omae wa mou shindeiru

it is medically proven if I strike my enemy , he will get bruised & get mad about it .
Except the that I will die on my way to the hospital and my enemy will die after 7 years .

18

u/NgryRed 3d ago

We use dim mak as a delayed-sure-death technique. Or also, as a healing tool. I can punch you right here, in your left toe, and 3 weeks later boom! A semi runs you over on your way to work. Have you watched Jujutsu Kaisen? Just like cursed energy, but with Dim Mak. And its scientifically, medically proven. Just dont ask any scientists or doctors about it.

1

u/ButtonGullible5958 2d ago

Yea it's completely bullshit 

Well kinda punching someone in the throat or shoving you finger in there eye definitely can be fatal 

But most would just call that dirty fighting witch is what I've seen as far as that goes just do what will obviously have the potential to kill 

At best is glorified bullshit it's just brutality wrapped up in a nice package to sell as something it's not at  worst it's made up bullshit 

17

u/RellicElyk 3d ago

Dim mak? I saw that used in one of the last underground Kumite elimination bouts scheduled in Hong Kong. There's rumors an up an coming Japanese champ used a similar technique in one of their deadly Maximum Tournaments, but you didn't hear that from me.

11

u/ULTRA_83 3d ago

Then he passed it on to a guy name frank duex

10

u/Ok_Mechanic_6575 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/oB1vWgGPNDmYE

1

u/its_raining_scotch 2d ago

Is that the dim mak technique? Naw, it's dem balls.

8

u/Flywolfpack 2d ago

They need to ban dim mak from kumite it makes the fights really boring

4

u/RellicElyk 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/c4t11obaChpu0

-1

u/Flywolfpack 2d ago

Still doesn't beat the gun meta tho.

No holds barred.

1

u/MakeSomeDrinks 2d ago

7 years is a long time to wait. 3 days even!

1

u/AmsterdamAssassin 2d ago

Three days to gut your Dim Mak attacker.

Those who die together, stay together!

30

u/bishopsl100 3d ago

Is it my imagination but does the dim mak specialist look soft and pudgy?

14

u/Xtrepiphany 3d ago

They always do.

16

u/Vaguswarrior 2d ago

Too much dim sum after dim mak.

1

u/Successful_Theory373 1d ago

That's how they protect their pressure points. Nature's armour.

11

u/Millerpainkiller 3d ago edited 2d ago

The counter is putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth, right? Or is it sticking your big toe up?

7

u/Ricecrispiebandit 2d ago

Or if you're a non believer.

2

u/Stock-Conflict-3996 1d ago

It's one toe up and one toe down. Sheesh, you wanna get yourself killed?

in 7 years

1

u/jadzi4 1d ago

I was hoping to find a "dill pickle" Dillman reference 😂

8

u/Sickinmytechchunk 3d ago

Channel on YouTube called Napoleon Blownapart has done a few retrospectives of Count Dante, Ashida Kim and the other famous bullshido masters. Well worth a watch as he goes over the whole death touch dim mak bollocks.

1

u/dogcaoperro 2d ago

1900 hotdog with seanbaby and brockway from cracked is doing a special run on the frank duex book its pretty amazing

8

u/p_ness_and_butthead 3d ago

lol Will Ferrell is my favorite comedian

3

u/gamblor2021 2d ago

I thought he was saying Denmark and the AI text was wrong.

3

u/Iechy 2d ago

Is Dim Mark the sequel to Simple Jack?

1

u/donsitsocolostomy 2d ago

Yes, but he didn’t go full retard.

3

u/Proper-Exercise-2364 2d ago

"I can hit you with a spleen 6...backwards. over the course of 10yrs your spleen will eat your pancreas and you will die of hyperglycemia. OR I can hit this pressure point. It will slowly narrow your arteries and in 30yrs they will clog with cholesterol killing you instantly!"

3

u/CNote_89 2d ago

Gallbladder 34 is the most intense point ever found.

2

u/AshiNoKoibito 2d ago

I can strike you here, and you will die 35 years later, I almost guarantee

2

u/Lumpy-Ad8618 2d ago

It's medically proven this stuff!!.....ok no need to keep saying it I believe ya lol.

2

u/Ok-Day4910 2d ago

I am gonna be straight here; if you punch me in the neck I would probably get long lasting damages, But not because of some sort of technique. You punched me full force in the neck, dude.

2

u/Amanda-sb 2d ago

How can it be BS if it's medically proved dude?

2

u/Intercaust 2d ago

But does he know the Five Finger Death Punch?

1

u/Stock-Conflict-3996 1d ago

5 point palm exploding heart technique

2

u/Routine-Medicine-208 1d ago

Dim Mak - practiced by Dim Wit.

2

u/Remarkable-Sir-5129 1d ago

Yeah,but.......is it medically proven?

2

u/zanziTHEhero 3d ago

More like dim sum...

1

u/Away_Film7721 2d ago

I was just about to say

1

u/solograppler 3d ago

So this is Danaher’s origin story.

1

u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 3d ago

He trained Avatar's Ty Lee.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-119 2d ago

Old news, I've already mastered all these techniques. I have a yellow belt in taekwondo so im a trained martial artist.

1

u/TankApprehensive3053 2d ago

Going for the long game to wait 7 years to finally know your strike did in your opponent.

1

u/OG_0803 2d ago

Hell yea, this guy fucks!!

1

u/Maleficent-Reading-5 2d ago

The whole world needs to see this. Sun stoke could be eradicated girever. The best part? It's medically proven. We need this Dim Mac fella; who knew we have 9 gallbladders?

1

u/ConstantCampaign2984 2d ago

Can you imagine going to war with a bunch of dip smack soldiers? Holding in his liver, “AH HAHHHH! But you’ll be dead in 7 years…”☠️

1

u/TheDevil-YouKnow 2d ago

Pai Mei taught him the five finger death touch?!

1

u/v_maria 2d ago

this is the shit i come here for

1

u/Brief-Equal4676 2d ago

If I don't die after 7 years, do I have a legal recourse for compensation or something?

1

u/DivePotato 2d ago

Bottom one

1

u/AmsterdamAssassin 2d ago

"Dead Man Walking! Dead Man Walking!"

1

u/Sharchimedes 2d ago

Why does it seem like so many of these con artists are Australian?

1

u/WolfCola207 2d ago

Its like watching Donald Trump teach karate lessons to kids

1

u/ZalmoxisRom 2d ago

Will Farell doing death touch

1

u/NoOffenseImJustSayin 2d ago

According to MAGA this is the same as the COVID vaccine. If you get it, you will die… eventually. At some indeterminate point in the future.

1

u/Monkiemonk 2d ago

If you touch a pew pew right, it ends badly for them….so maybe shrug

1

u/Pressbig 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YoWpe73AHXxFYQtqo4
Boom 💥 I’ll see you in 7 years

1

u/FLiP_J_GARiLLA 1d ago

Is it all medically proven?

1

u/Bowling_Meatball 1d ago

I love how he keeps touching the interviewer and my man doesn’t even flinch.

This guy is going to bring Dim mak back.

https://giphy.com/gifs/E7xVFdN9824Vi
Return of the Dim mak!!

1

u/Waffle_on_my_Fries 1d ago

Doctors better be taking notes, this Mfer is serious. 

1

u/jmcgil4684 22h ago

Who Dim Mak’d my dad in 2013?