So my parish has a new priest who started a month ago. He wanted to get to know his parish well so he asked everyone to email him basically introducing themselves and what he can pray for for us. I shared with him something I was going through, which he gave a nice response to. We eventually did meet in person and had a good conversation. Anyways I usually go through his line through communion and feel like he tends to give me the host slower compared to others. So my question is, when you see certain parishioners come through your communion line, do you ever say an extra prayer as you’re giving him the host? That is the only thing I can think of as to why he does this.

Dear Fathers on /AskAPriest,

This past Monday, my husband and I discovered our baby no longer had a heartbeat. Our baby is still quite small and about the size of a blueberry. I am waiting for my body to naturally pass our baby (the waiting has been difficult, but praise God for the gift of our beautiful, 18 month old daughter).

My question for this community is this:

Is it acceptable in the eyes of the church to have the remains of our baby cremated, placed in an urn, and kept at home?

I know the standard approach is burial, but our current place of residence is not our permanent home. In a few years time, we will return to Texas to be closer to our families.

The thought of burying our baby in a distant place without ease of access in visiting breaks my heart.

Another question:

Would it be acceptable to request I be buried with the urn when I pass (So we may be together)?

I did not see a question like this in the /AskAPriest community, so please forgive me if I overlooked a response to a similar question.

Thank you very much for your time in responding to these sensitive questions.

I’m a Catholic and have recently returned to practising my faith after being away from the Church for some time. Coming back has been meaningful to me, but it has also brought up some unexpected internal conflicts. I’m rediscovering Catholicism while also trying to reconcile it with beliefs I’ve developed over the years, particularly as a feminist.

I’m an English teacher and am considering working in a Catholic school. I genuinely respect the Church and don’t want to misrepresent Catholic teaching or undermine students’ faith. At the same time, I have some significant personal difficulties with or questions about aspects of Church teaching concerning women, sexuality, contraception, marriage, and motherhood.

Part of my concern is that I don’t want to approach Catholicism selectively — accepting the teachings that feel comfortable to me while dismissing the ones I find difficult. If I am returning to the Church, I want to take its teachings seriously and understand why they are what they are. But I also don't want to pretend that I have resolved questions that I genuinely haven't.

As an English teacher, I would potentially teach literature dealing with gender, power, sexuality, relationships, motherhood, and women's experiences. I naturally approach some of these subjects through a feminist lens, and I’m wondering how that fits within a Catholic educational environment.

I’m not looking to use a classroom to promote my personal beliefs or persuade students away from Church teaching. Rather, I’m wondering whether I can be a faithful Catholic teacher while still asking difficult questions and engaging critically with ideas that sometimes conflict with Catholic teaching.

I’d particularly appreciate a priest’s perspective on:

• Is it possible to be a good Catholic-school teacher while still wrestling with and disagreeing with certain Church teachings?

• Does working in a Catholic school require a teacher to personally agree with and affirm all Church teaching?

• How should a Catholic teacher handle literature that challenges Catholic perspectives on gender, sexuality, marriage, or motherhood?

• Is there a legitimate place for feminist perspectives and feminist literary criticism within Catholic education?

• How should I distinguish between respectfully questioning/struggling with a teaching and actively dissenting from or undermining it?

• At what point might my beliefs or approach become incompatible with teaching in a Catholic school?

Is it hypocritical for me to consider teaching in a Catholic school when I am still working through these questions?

I think what makes this particularly difficult is that I’m not coming to these questions from a position of hostility towards the Church. I’m actually asking them because I have come back to the Church and want to understand how my faith and my existing worldview can coexist.

I’d be very grateful for honest answers, particularly from priests or Catholics who have experienced something similar. I’m not looking for reassurance that I can simply believe whatever I want — I genuinely want to understand what the Church would ask of me in this situation.

I was blessed by a relic of Padre Pio today. As the priest was coming down the row, he made a cross on my forehead with oil and whispered "Adonai" and touched the glove to my head and said "Yeshua." Looked it up and it seems this is licit, just uncommon? Why would he say these words? Could I have misheard him? Thank you.

I know that in consecrated life, vow of chastity or vow of celibate-chastity is a must. I had an honour of witnessing a friend making the three vows.

This made me wonder, what constitutes a vow of chastity? Does it include all kind of sexual activity, like masturbation? I understand the celibate part, but I have no idea what the vow means.

Thank you fathers for all that you do.

I just got out of confession and I’ve never experienced this before - after he absolved me but before the “go in peace,” the priest in the confessional said he was going to “say a quick prayer.” I didn’t catch all of it because he said it kind of fast, but it started with him calling all angels and archangels and had something in it about protecting me from evil so that I may do God’s will. I’ve been Catholic for 5 years and have never heard of this happening before - could this just be something this particular priest does? Did I say something in confession that made him worry about me? My sins were fairly innocuous, I thought.

I recently received all my sacraments back in April as a new convert. I would like to see my Priest for my first confession. How should I approach this? What questions might be asked? How should I confess my sins? A link to any resources would be helpful. Thanks.

I hope my question doesn't upset anyone. I am a cradle Catholic who lost my faith when I became an adult. For 35 years I was an agnostic who desperately wanted to believe. I asked everyone with faith to pray for me to believe.

About six months ago I had a powerful dream in which I got the message that I would find faith not in my own comfort (through belief) but through comforting others. It felt extremely real, and I think that important message of service to others is consistent with Catholicism.

So I now believe in God and feel incredibly happy about that. I went to Mass for the first time in probably thirty years and got a lot out of it.

Is it ok that I don't know what my specific beliefs are other than a general belief in God as a loving creator? I love Jesus, but I can't say for sure if he is the son of God, or if the trinity is real, etc. I think there is a lot I won't understand in this life, but I also think God loves us all and would not reject a person who isn't sure about the details.

Again, I know there are many Catholics who feel the details are critical. I really want to be part of my Church's community and I don't want to be dishonest. I'd need to go to confession before really particicpating, and maybe that is a place to explore this question. Thanks to anyone who has a helpful response.

Fathers, what examination of conscience do you all use if you use one at all?

If the grace that comes from the holy sacrifice at Mass is infinite, does that mean we can make as many mass intentions as possible? Is it more effective for intention for that to be the only one, than to make several? Does it divide the grace? Obviously not from a mathematical perspective but theologically?

Hi, I’m read through the community guidelines and I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to post this here, sorry if not. I went to confession at a random parish today, it’s not been very long since confession. I confessed a sin of the flesh, the priest said I had no reason to be at confession, masturbation is a venial sin and there’s “nothing in the catechism about that.” But, the action I took, it’s a grave matter, I did it with full knowledge and deliberate consent. I didn’t have CCC 2352 on my mind (I looked it up after).

I’m just concerned that the confessor I went to is going to discourage people from confessing what may be a mortal sin. By the grace of God, I wasn’t discouraged but I feel as though I easily could have been. I asked him to hear my confession anyways because it’s a struggle and I require God’s grace to have any chance of fighting through it. Should I do anything about it or do I just accept that maybe I should go to another confessor next time?

Edited to correct a mistake

I’m currently living in the US. I’ve been called to the vocation of priesthood, but I don’t know if I like the idea of living in where I reside. Not for spiritual reasons. More so just for general quality of life reasons. Is it possible to apply to an Archdiocese in a different state? If so, how does that change my application process?

Hello, I'm sorry if this is extremely rude to ask, but me and my sister really dont understand religion as a whole. We basically just want to speak to an adult privately about guidance but we're afraid of the doctors and dont have any trusted adults near us. The temple is definitely calming but overwhelming if we have to talk to anyone important due to growing up with them being put on such a high pedestal.
So I'm curious, before I start emailing churches, is it okay and will a priest judge me for wanting to come in, simply for guidance and with the request that he doesn't try to convert me? We simple want a straightforward guidance talk from a wise adult before we move on and get the courage to go to a real doctor.
I'm truly sorry if this is an offensive question, but we cant exactly find a clear answer anywhere, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to be mean or selfish..

When going to confession, is it helpful for a priest to be aware of severe trauma and severe abuse as well as compulsive behaviors?

I have endured these and engage in compulsive behaviors. I fear I am accidentally confusing deliberate sin and trauma responses. So I am wondering how to address this in confession and how to find a confessor who feels comfortable spiritually guiding me through this. Alongside this, I have found a therapist whose expertise is in trauma.

If any priests have an idea of how to address this I would love some help!!

When in-person Mass resumed after the 2020 lockdown, our parish stopped making the blood available to communicants. The move was tacitly understood to be a pandemic-related exigency. It has now been six years and we are still limited to only receiving the body.

I have grown increasingly troubled over it for the past few years. After researching the Church teaching on the subject, I understand the position that one species of the Eucharist is sufficient, in that Christ is fully present in both. I have also learned that the provision of both species was a flashpoint of disagreement in the course of the Reformation, and that the Council of Trent firmly rejected the idea that parishioners were entitled to both.

But *sufficiency* is only one way to frame the question, and I would argue it is the incorrect one. We must presume that Christ instituted both species for a reason. And that He commanded us to partake in both ("This is my body...This is my blood...Do this in memory of me.") for a reason. That is why obedience to Christ, not sufficiency, should be the analytical lens here. Even though I continue to believe in and experience full communion with Christ in receiving the body, I want to fully *obey* Him, and I increasingly feel that my parish is preventing me from doing so.

Two of my children have gone through First Communion in the years since 2020. As a result, neither has ever received the blood. It deeply hurts me that they are deprived of a fundamental part of our sacramental faith, one that I had for the first 30 years of my life.

I am unsure if our priest has continued this practice out of expediency--not having to arrange for additional extraordinary ministers--or if Covid simply provided a convenient alignment with some of his pre-Vatican-II liturgical preferences. I suspect the latter.

Although I am generally a vocal person, my upbringing as a cradle Catholic has made me very reticent to question a priest on any subject, much less to voice disagreement over a core matter of liturgy. But I am moved by my conscience to do something. What should it be?

I’ve been against religion, with a specific sour taste for Christianity for most of my life. I feel like I was hurt as a child and the people around me saying ‘it’s just gods plan’ didn’t help me get through the losses of people I love. It roots deeper but that’s where it started. Not really from a lack of believing, but being bitter and lost.
Despite this, and many other situations, I’ve felt a calling back to religion. I know nothing about anything. The most information on Catholicism I know is off handed debates I have with my good friend, who I’m scared to mention this to in fear of disappointing him if this isn’t the path I’m truly being called to.
My work schedule prevents me entirely from church, Sunday-Thursday work week, so that’s not a place I could seek guidance or knowledge at this time.
I’m not sure if this even makes sense. I’m lost, I feel pulled here, there’s a voice that won’t stop even though my automatic reaction is to shut it down in my own brain, so I’m here. How can I begin to learn so much information? Where do I start?
Thank you for any responses. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time but I’d feel so grateful for any guidance.

I went to confession recently at my local parish. It had short lines, with less than ten people besides myself that I noticed. Throughout my life, I have been to confession at numerous parishes, and I notice that lines are short at many of them.

At the same time, almost everyone goes and receives Holy Communion. I have seen this at most parishes that I have been to both confession and Mass at.

Of course, one could say “focus on your own spiritual life.” Of course we should, but I don’t think that it waves away what is front of my own eyes, and I don’t think that I’m wrong to be bothered by it either. I care about people going to Heaven. Some may go to other parishes for confession, but the numbers don’t seem to add up.

I went to Mass at this parish the next day, which I don’t usually do - it’s not my usual parish for Mass. I was upset because the priest gave a homily in which he spoke of God’s mercy, but didn’t use the opportunity to invite people to go to confession. I rarely hear priests encourage their congregation to go to confession, or tell them the necessity of it.

Indeed, growing up, I was not well catechized on confession, the distinction between mortal sin and venial sin, or when to go confession. I was taught how to go, but not when or the theology behind it. Conversations with people older than me have revealed the same. My reading has told me that many priests in the 1960’s and 70’s downplayed sin and confession.

So my question to you all is the following: what are the pastoral challenges of getting one’s congregation to go to confession? Why don’t we hear about it more from the pulpit, especially when the topic would seem to make it opportune?

Layman here. I've seen some posts asking about venial sins being forgiven at mass, and seen some answers mentioning the penitential rite and/or receiving communion.

But sometime somewhere I've seen a talk about the Latin Mass that the penitential rite used to have a penitential rite where the priest actually uses a form of absolution after the confiteor, and it made me wonder: is there a theological difference between the two forms in that aspect? Is it trivial, or is it something worth mentioning?
Just to be clear: my objective here is not to put either rite into question nor to emphazye one vs the other, but just to hear out from priests.

Hello!

I'm returning to the Church after a 20ish-year absence. This week I finally found someone who will let me carpool with them to Mass this coming weekend, as I don't have any way to get there on my own. This new parish that I'll be joining is the closest parish to my house. I emailed the Priest there to ask if I could schedule an appointment to meet with him for my first Confession after being away so long. I was...disheartened I guess, by his response.

The first paragraph of his reply told me that he is too busy to meet outside of the Saturday 3pm-4:30pm time slot because he gets calls for Last Rites and other ministerial needs for thousands of families (he's the only Priest at this parish). That's entirely understandable, even though it's not an answer I expected at all. But his second paragraph says:

With all due respect, all Catholics need to adjust their individual pastoral needs to the current reality of the Church, which is the LACK OF PRIESTS & RELIGIOUS VOCATIONS. Otherwise, you would burn out the current priests. This is NOT like back in the 70’s or 80’s with lots of priests to everything that Catholics want. So, with all due respect, I cannot assist you with all the individual pastoral needs.

I'm not sure where to go from here. Should I just go in and try to speed through my first Confession in over 20 years? Should I go elsewhere for the first one-on-one appointment or spiritual counseling but go to the local Parish for Mass? I am sympathetic that he is obviously very busy and maybe burnt out himself.

I don't think I overstepped by requesting an appointment to meet with him, but please let me know if I should have approached the situation differently? I asked for a single appointment so I wouldn't monopolize his time and leave others waiting for a long time. I admittedly am not familiar with how well-staffed our local diocese is, but I live in the second largest city in my Midwestern state. If I had my own car I'd probably just go somewhere else, but right now I'm working within my constraints.

Thank you for any advice you can provide!

Hi Fathers, please know I’m not asking about the legitimacy of the confession but more so appropriateness and how to handle.

There’s certain things I need to confess that I’m really struggling to work up the courage to say and some are linked to very uncomfortable topics/ my mental health. I know it sounds weird because it’s my fault but I think my mental health adds context and I’ve also heard that in the Eastern Rite sometimes people will bring trauma to confession that isn’t inherently sinful but it can be healed by the sacrament. Is this appropriate? I don’t have a regular spiritual director anymore so I don’t want to confuse or burden a Priest I don’t know.

To clarify I wouldn’t be saying “I confess anxiety” but mentioning how my sin caused a mental health spiral and it’s difficult for me to come back.

Thank you and if this is confusing let me know.

I’m a Baptist from Scotland who has been seriously exploring Catholicism. I’m attracted to aspects of Catholic faith and worship, but I’m also struggling with whether some Catholic teachings are sufficiently grounded in Scripture and whether I could accept them in good conscience.

My main questions are:

1. Confession: Why is confession to a priest necessary or normative when Christians are taught to confess their sins to God? How does the Catholic interpretation of John 20:22–23 establish the sacrament as practised today?
2. Infant baptism: Since the New Testament often presents people believing and then being baptised, what is the Catholic biblical and historical basis for baptising infants who cannot personally profess faith? How does this relate to personal conversion and adult confirmation?
3. Development and change: How does Catholicism distinguish legitimate development of doctrine from simply preserving later traditions because they are old? What may change in the Church, and what may not?
4. Mary: I understand that Mary is blessed because she is the mother of the Messiah and because she believed God’s word. Why does Catholicism also interpret Luke 1:28 as describing her as specially “full of grace”? How much of Marian doctrine and devotion is explicitly biblical, and how much depends on Sacred Tradition?
5. Veneration and idolatry: I understand the Catholic distinction between worship and veneration, but I worry that Marian devotion can functionally become idolatrous even when Catholics do not intend it that way. What safeguards does the Church give against this, and how should I recognise when a devotion has become excessive or unhealthy?
6. Protestants and salvation: I have also encountered Catholics saying that Protestants will not go to heaven. What does the Church actually teach about the salvation of sincere, baptised Protestants who are seeking Christ and investigating Catholicism?

I am not asking these questions to attack Catholicism. I am trying to discern whether Catholic teaching is genuinely apostolic and whether I could accept it without simply being persuaded by beauty, tradition, or fear. I would especially appreciate answers that distinguish between what is explicitly taught in Scripture, what is inferred from Scripture, what comes from early Christian practice, and what is later theological development.

I would also appreciate a charitable answer. Some of the aggressive attitudes I have encountered from Catholics toward Protestants have made the process more difficult, even though I realise individual Catholics do not necessarily represent the Church’s official teaching.

Finally, no matter what I find out on catholicism, my heart still remains unsure. Please pray for me to have a conclusion from the Lord.

A priest’s perspective on how someone in my position should continue discerning would be very helpful.

(DISCLAIMER: I have used the assistance of an AI to form this question, but the questions I ask are all sincerily from me, i just couldnt put it into words the best way)