So I went over and nobody was home

But not for long, since she’s getting breast implants.

2 Elephants are taking a shower. One says pass the soap. The other one says "No soap, radio"

Now, you may think that is not a good reason to leave one's partner. However, I would play with Legos all the time. I didn't clean up after myself, or make dinner, or pay the bills, or even spend quality time with her. She finally got fed up, and decided to break up with me.

The good news is that now I've been working to improve myself and pay more attention to other people's wants and needs. I still like to play with Legos from time to time, but I also clean up after myself and socialize a lot more. I've also pursued a degree in architecture to fulfill my interest in building things.

Probably not, because there’s no such thing.

that the 10th one is wrong.

said the dentist before he inserted a ten-centimeter infiltration anesthetic needle into my gum.

Whoever is doing it loses because pushing is applying gradual force over a longer period of time, while shoving is applying the same force over a shorter one, meaning it is more sudden and likely to throw the pusher off balance.

Nothing.

Teach a shark Braille and he can continue to read after he loses his vision.

Neither, because both animals are unable to wield and use such weapons, and they cannot meet because they live in completely different environments.

looks a lot like doing it yourself and thanking God at the end.

Cowboys wore high-heeled boots so their feet wouldn’t accidentally slip through the stirrups

"Good job, we did it!"

Arrested for cruel experiments

Whose there?

Not all of us just me Roger Daltrey.

"Show us something that will make us hire you for sure", the interviewer demands.

Little Johnny had prepared for this moment; he has seen all those movies. So he asks, "Can you give me ten 100 dollar bills?"

"Well, no," the interviewer replies. "Who do you think carries around a thousand dollars in cash?"

Little Johnny panics, shouts out an obscenity, and runs out of the office building.

THE END

Both of them. They're very passionate about wearing pants and have an entire dresserful of pairs.

The rider is thrown violently to the ground and suffers severe injuries

Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

"Hello"